I like how this started as a serious place to write very serious Hetalia fanfics but now the shitpost to normal fic ratio is like 5:1 and I don't even write hetalia anymore. 

You are a new student at UA, which stands for Umbrella Academy or something. Was it ever discussed?
You're surprised to have gotten in since you don't have a quirk and you actually didn't even take the entrance exam. Why would you? You're Quirkless.
Something doesn't feel right about this and you don't trust it. You haven't trusted anything since your dad left to get cigarettes and never came back.
And so, you decide to visit the principal and see what's up.
As you knock on the door, you hear a very clear voice call back.
"Come on in."
You have an uncontrollable urge to follow this voice's demands. You've always been weak to dominance, ever since your mother left for assorted dairy products and never came back.
When you walk into the office, your heart skips a beat. Sitting there, barbecue sauce on his tiddies, was the hottest lab specimen you have ever seen.
His rat fur was gleaming so white that it hurt your eyes. You wanted him to hurt you in more ways.
"Daddy- I mean principal...I seem to have an issue."
"And what is that?" He asked, voice so harsh and demanding that your pussy and/or Bussy popped.
"I don't belong here. I didn't even apply. I'm quirkless."
"I know. I brought you to this school to be my personal groomer."
"Your groomer? Why me?"
"You're the only one I can trust in this cold, evil world. We suffer from the same pain."
"Crippling depression and daddy issues?"
"Yeh."
"Okay. I'll be your groomer. Where's your brush?"
"It's in my desk drawer."
"o-okay." You find the brush and quickly return to your new owner.
All of a sudden, he's suddenly taking his pants off.
"W-what are you doing?!" You shriek.
"When say I want my fur brushed, I mean ALL of it."
"S-Sensei..."
As his pants fall to the floor, his colossal, 7.3 inch rat phallus emerges. You swallow.
"Like what you see?"
"Y-yes." You gulp.
"Then I'll give it to you as a prize if you brush me."
You nod, starting to brush him all over until his fur was all smooth.
"Please, sir, may I have the coochie now?"
"Only if you beg like the quirkless freak you are."
"Please. I need your cummies to survive!" You beg. "I have a family to feed and cummies are the only way to sustain them through the long winter."
"Very well." He says, putting his thick rat cock in your preferred orifice. He thrusts and you squeal in pleasure. You have only just met this man, but you already wanted his children.
You're seeing stars. You cum a little.
"How pathetic." He shakes his head in a disapproving way and  that's all it takes for you to cum again.
"Fine. If you're going to be a leaky Louie..." He rolls his eyes and you cum a third time. There's cum on his face. My god, there's cum EVERYWHERE.
He pulls out of you, shaking his head again.
"I don't let people brush me if they're just going to get me dirty right after." He sighs, booting your naked ass out the door.
It's been ten years since that day and you still think of all that you lost. If you weren't such an early cummer, you might have gotten more than just his tiny rat son, who you carried for nine months in your respective reproductive organs. Maybe if you didn't jizz like a rabbit, Nezu would actually pay child support. But no. He dicked you down and left you for dead...much like your own father.
Now you're the single parent of one, and your stupid kid had a quirk that he uses to disrespect you at ever chance.
But that's what you get when you guzzle rat cum.