Just a little drabble I did about Allen's feelings on Heroism and Alfred.....
Not much to it really.....
But I hope you enjoy~
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What does it mean to be a hero?
Is it gettin' fame and glory for ya deeds? Or merely doin' good deeds in itself, no reward needed? Or perhaps it's the little things...
Like bein' a good mother, father, siblin', or just a good friend.

What exactly does it mean to be a hero?.....

I'm not sure I could tell ya. Never been one myself. Probably never will.
By definition it's "a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities". As for me, well....
Courage? Never had it in my life.
Outstandin' achievements? Ha! That's a good laugh.... Only "achievements" I've ever had can't be repeated or spoken of.
Noble qualities? What could I possibly possess that could be considered "noble"?    

So there ya have it.... Ain't no way I could ever be a hero.... At least not by definition...
But then how does one become a hero?
Certainly not by doin' or havin' any one of those traits alone. No.
No, there's somethin' more there other than what meets the eye. But I guess I'll never figure it out.

He did though. Apparently. Everyone seems to think so, at least out of the two of us.
Between me and him, he's the hero and I'm the villain. That's how it's always been and that's how it'll always be. He's put up on a pedestal, a light shinin' down on him, with appreciation. And I'm down below. I can't even tell anymore if I'm cast in his ever darkenin' shadow or if I have become his permanent shadow....
Funny to think that when we started out I was top dog, as far as me an' him were concerned. And as they say "the tables have turned". Except not quite...
The tables haven't turned; they've been flipped, split, taped, scratched, and burned...
I've been watchin'em burn for years... decades... nearly three centuries.

The fire never fades, dims, or goes out. Just keeps gettin' bigger, brighter, and hotter by the second.
I can't help but think of the life he has and comparin' it to my own...

He's got family that's always there for him, or will be if he needs it, at near the drop of a hat. He has friends. A job. A home. A life. Stability.

And what do I have?
I never know where hardly any, if at all, of my family is at any given time. All but one of my "friends" would literally stab me in the back for less than a penny's worth of information. I've never had or been able to get a job. I live in a shabby apartment that should've been torn down ages ago and probably will one day when we all fall through the floors...
My life is a nuthouse. Never know if I'll make it back "home" or not. I spend my days huntin' down criminals, thieves, murderers, who knows? Never knowin' what might happen....
Stability ain't anywhere in my dictionary.

Whenever we're together it's nothin' but the same ol' thing...
"I'll protect you from the villain!"
"I'm the hero! You're no match for me!"
"Don't worry! He can't hurt you if I'm around!!"
"Don't listen to him, second players are evil!"
Ugh... It's gettin' real annoyin'... Not to mention aggravatin', idiotic, unbearable, depressin', infuriatin', cringeworthy, insufferable, insensible-

.......

I'm just tired. Tired of all that. Tired of him. Tired of life..... Tired of me....

I'm nothin' like my brothers, they're all somethin', ya know? And I'm.... Well... I'm not....
I look in the mirror every day and all I see is a failure. A pathetic excuse for a human bein', country, nation, whatever the heck I am. I feel worthless, lost, broken, defeated. Angry then sad at what I've become. I'm a crazy psycho at times too... An' it just gets better! I don't even know what I do. I don't know how or why or when it happens... I just know that it does 'cause one day I can be walkin' down the street just fine mindin' my own then the next day (or is it days?) people are runnin' from me an' givin' me these looks.... Like I'm gonna just try to knock'em dead right there and then....
I'm nothin' better than the low downs that I hunt out each night....

It's not like I asked to be this way! It's not like I asked to live this life! Have this world! Be who I am!-

But then... If I'm not the villain to his hero... Who am I? Just some baseball bat wieldin' psycho vigilante livin' on the streets of Brooklyn? I don't know....
I don't know who I'd be if I wasn't "the villain".
Maybe it's all I'll ever be. Maybe I shouldn't try to change. Try to see what the other side is like. What their other world is like....

Would it be too much to ask?
Too much to ask to just once, just once, not be the villain? Not to be shunned by others because they're afraid of what I'll do to them or their loved ones? Not to be looked down upon because I'm a second player? Considered evil because I'm a second player. Key word there is second. Meaning I'll apparently never be as good as the "original". Who defined that anyway? That the first players were the originals? Who knows? I sure don't...

And to top it all off it's like he doesn't even care if he hurts me or not...

If only he knew...

If only he knew how much it hurts to be called that. To be known as the evil one. The bad guy. The villain. The second player...

If only he knew how much I longed for things to be different.
To be able to see my family more often. To be able to get along with them. Be able to tell them things you can't tell others.
Like how I get depressed sometimes.... A lot of times...
How I fake a smile, fake a laugh, fake sincerity. How I keep myself hidden and locked away deep inside and let someone else take the reins and control my actions. While I sit aside and let them freely do as they please just to satisfy everyone else.
These days it's like I don't even know who I am anymore...
It used to be different. Back when I was a child. I knew exactly who I was, where I was, what I was doin', and what I was meant to be. But now? Now I don't know anything anymore. I'm just a numb shell of depression and worthlessness.
Though that's all on the inside...

Just ask me and I'll tell you exactly who I am.
I'm Allen Liberty Jones. I'm the United States of  America. I'm a second player. I'm a New Yorker at heart. I'm a brother. I'm a flirt. I'm a criminal. I'm a villain. I'm just...me.
'Cause that's who I'm supposed to be, right?

Allen, the United States of America, second player to Alfred, and the villain.

Yup. That's me.

So I guess I'll always be the villain, never meant to know the other side. Because that's him, he's the hero. And you can't have a villain without a hero can you? No.

So what does it mean to be a hero?....
I may never know......