( just a short little drabble)

WARNING: some material may be triggering

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     Forty-three days, he counted, he'd been hooded up here for forty-three days. Nearly two months he figured in his head. And he had no plans to leave any time soon. Why would he? He was the monster, not them.
     Darius bowed his head into his knees as he sat on the grimy stone floor. All he could think about now were all those poor souls he'd hurt and gotten rid of. Probably all of them innocent. Never to return home to their families. No wonder his family hates him and never wanted to be around him. They were probably afraid that they'd be next. He didn't blame them if that was the case. He wouldn't have wanted anything to do with himself either had he known. . .
     Though he couldn't help but wonder if they even cared that he was gone. Some part of him wanted them to, but more of him didn't think they should. He was a burden and harmful to society. A toxin to the world. But he was where he belonged now, locked up and confined where he couldn't hurt anyone ever again.
     When he'd first come here he'd been too panicked and preoccupied to remember to grab something to eat. At first he'd regretted that decision then he decided he didn't care, the hunger was a welcome distraction from his thoughts. Now he didn't have the energy to do much as chase after a mouse or bug that occasionally wandered by. Darius knew that the only thing keeping him going now was the fact of his being a nation.
     But he wasn't honking about any of that now. On his mind these past recent days was just how much of a failure and disappointment to his family and to his country he was. Was his mother looking down on him now and thinking of him in shame? He wished he could remember her face.

     Darius blinked blankly up at the light coming from the ceiling far above. The hole was small but it let air circulate through the room. He heard birdsong  or far off echo throughout his self made prison. One more blink and he found himself on the floor. Odd, he thought, he didn't remember laying down. Oh well, not like it mattered anyways. He closed his eyes once more, dreaming of guilt and nightmares he never bothered to remember if terrible deeds done.