Me: *walks over to person* pstt...*whispers* my mum is British pass it on

Person: What?

Me: My mum is british!

Peraon: How- ?

Me: Because FIRST OF ALL-

Friend: Here she goes...

Me:
1) SHE EATS PIZZA WITH A FORK IN A KNIFE
2) THERE IS EDICIT FOR FrUKING EVERYTHING-

England: What the bloody hell is wrong with that??

Me: SHUT THE HELL UP ENGLAND-

3) THERE HAS TO BE A SPACIFIC WAY TO DO THAT THING.

Me: MY WORK HERE IS DONE-

England: ....