(At pizza hut)
Germany: jou should eat healthier

Me: ok.
Me:*orders food*
Me:*gets a thing of salad*
Me:*salad consists of a small thing of salad, peaches, and a ton of croutons buried in sauce, and a single carrot.*
Me:*dumps a pound of sauce and parm cheese on it*

Germany: how is zhat healthy?!

Me:. . . I added a carrot.

Germany:. . . *face tables*