[This is a collaborated one-shot with SteelAndTemper2010]

*Jem, Will and Tessa are in Hyde Park and pass the duck pond*

Will: *spots duck staring at him* DIE, YOU FIEND! *charges at duck*

Tessa: Wait, you are going to fall into the-

Jem: *gently* Tess, don't...it will not make a difference .

*Will splashes into lake*

Tessa: -lake...

Jem: *eating scone" I did warn you he wouldn't listen.

*Will emerges with a duck on his head*

Will: GET OFF MY HEAD, AAAAAAAAAHHH!

Will: Jeeeeemmmmmmmm!!!!!!!! Saavee meeee! You disloyal bastard!

*jumps back into lake whilst wrestling duck*

Jem: This happens about once every 2 weeks or so. Best to just give him his space.

*Will's head pops out of water, gasps for a couple seconds, and dives back in in pursuit of the duck*

Tessa: Very well. Only because this is interesting.

*comes up clutching a wooden toy duck*

Will: Ha! Bow before me, you monstrous creature!

Little baby on the shore: *Wails* Mamaaa! Look! My wittle ducky!

Will: Oh you innocent child, ducks will eat you alive! Bloodthirsty little beasts they are!!!

Mother of the child: *glares at Will*

Tessa and Jem: So very sorry, miss...

Mother of the child: AGAIN???!

Tessa: He is highly intoxicated at the moment.

Will: I'm perfectly sober, thank you very much.

Jem: He doesn't know what he is saying anymore, sorry ma'am.

*another toy duck arises from water and floats next to Will*

Will: ANOTHER ONE? YOU VILE, LITTLE-

*starts punching duck repeatedly*

Tessa: Jem, could you pass me another scone?

Jem: Of course, here you go.

*Charlotte arrives having been informed by Jem of this incident and starts to drag Will back to the Institute, by the ear*

Jem: Oh, hullo Charlotte, I'm dreadfully sorry I had to ask you to do this again.

Charlotte: It's fine, but I'll have you know this is the 53rd time.

Sophie: Master Will ---

Jem: This is exactly what it looks like

Sophie: Yes, but again??? This is the 50th time!

Will: WRONG! It's the 53rd time.

*Cecily and Gabriel pass by*

Cecily: What happened? Will, you nerco, you stole that child's duck again, did you not? *facepalms*

Gabriel: Dreadfully sorry, I'm afraid I don't know these people. *in a low voice* I'll see you in the institute garden, Cecy. *walks off*

Will: No, Lightworm, you better not go anywhere near my sister.

*Starts chasing Gabriel with the wooden duck in hand*

Mother of aforementioned child: Oi! Give my son his duck back!

*child starts crying* 

THE END