The rhythmic beep of the heart monitor filled the cold, silent hospital room. Winnie sat on the end of the bed, staring solemnly at her sister's sick form. Her pale skin, her bald head, the cannula under her nose. Despite all that, Sara slept peacefully, not a single pained expression on the seven year old's face.

The child has recently finished all her chemotherapy. And now, the family anxiously awaited to hear if it has worked.

Finally, the doctor entered the room, but opted to call the parents into the hall. Winnie's brow furrowed as she watched through the window. Though she couldn't hear what they were saying, she could tell by the way her mother broke down that the news wasn't good.

Sara wasn't getting better. And they were gonna lose her.

Winnie's eyes quickly blurred with hot tears. She reached both her hands up to wipe her eyes, when she felt a small gently clutch her wrist. Sara's voice filled her ears.

"What's wrong?"

The older girl shook her head, refusing to look into her sister's face as she continued to cover her eyes. "Nothing, Sare."

"Don't cry. I'm gonna be okay."

Winnie opened her eyes but kept her gaze on her fingers.

"I'm gonna be okay. You're gonna find me." Suddenly, Sara's voice became oddly distorted.

Confused by her sister's words, Winnie looked up, only to jump back in surprise.

Instead of Sara, Will now sat in the hospital bed.

"You're gonna find me, right? Please, I'm scared."

The blonde girl began to hyperventilate. She looked out the window into the hall, but found her parents to be gone. No doctors were around either. Then, she noticed the lights had dimmed. Only one lamp lit the room, accompanied by a flickering fluorescent in the corner of the ceiling. The room was significantly colder.

"Winnie! Don't just sit around, do something! Help me, please!" Will screamed at her.

The girl stood up, walking backwards until she hit the wall. She then slid down and curled up on the floor, covering her ears with her hands.

"I'm sorry, Will! I'm trying! Please, stop! I'm trying!" Winnie screamed back through heavy sobs.

The boy continued to yell and cry for help. Winnie sobbed on the floor. Panic filled her chest as she reached her breaking point.

"No!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, holding her scream out as light bulbs and glass shattered.

Winnie's eyes shot open as she was shaken awake. She hyperventilated, looking around in panic.

"Hey! Hey! You're alright, it's just me!" Her father reassured. "What happened? You were screaming bloody murder."

The blonde girl struggled to find words before breaking down into her father's chest. The man hesitated but slowly engulfed her into an embrace.

"Shh, you're okay. It was just a dream."

Winnie shook her head. "No. . . It was real."

Hopper sighed, rubbing her back as she continued to cry.

———

Awkward silence surrounded Winnie and her father as they sat in the living room eating leftovers. The blonde girl deduced that Hopper must've just gotten back from the search party after seeing the time. Almost midnight.

"Did you find anything?" She asked.

The police chief thought for a moment, as if considering whether he should share. "No," he shook us head.

Winnie sighed, "I think. . . I think I should go back. To Joyce's."

"Are you sure? I know the food's not great, granted it's from two days ago, but I—"

"It's not the food," Winnie interrupted. "It's just. . . I know I said that I felt useless to them but. . . after all they've done for me, the least I can do is provide some comfort. I think earlier I underestimated how important that is. Must be a family trait." She mumbled the last part.

"What?"

"Nothing." She stood up to get her stuff, "I'm gonna go."

"Wait, please," Hopper exclaimed, making Winnie freeze. "Stay. I wanna try to be here for you. Please let me."

The girl sighed, "It's not about whether I let you or not. It's just. . . I don't think you know how."

A sad but confused look spread across her father's face.

"Last time I was going through something, you disappeared. You weren't there, not fully." Winnie explained.

Sighing, Hopper rubbed his hands over his face, "I know. I know, but I lost my daughter. I had to heal myself before I could properly help you."

Tears filled Winnie's eyes as she scoffed, "Did you now?"

"Yes, Winnie, listen. I knew my grief would not do anything to get rid of yours so I didn't want to burden you with it—"

"Ok, whoever put that logic in your head needs to reevaluate because they're the reason you've lost both daughters." She cut him off.

"Winnie—"

"No, I have had enough of your self-pitying excuses! You don't get to act like the victim here!"

"I'm not acting like anything! I'm just explaining what I myself was going through!"

"Stop it!" Winnie screamed. A heavy silence filled the trailer. The girl marched into her old bedroom to grab her bag before going make her way out, only to find her father blocking the front door. "Let me through," she told him.

The man shook his head, "I'm not ending this conversation this way."

"I have nothing else to say."

"Yes, you do."

The blonde groaned, dropping her small bag on the coffee table and collapsing onto the sofa. She sat with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, trying to keep back any more tears from falling.

After more heavy silence, Winnie looked up at her dad who leaned against the wall, staring at his hands.

"I lost her too, you know."

Hopper looked up abruptly, "what?"

"You talk about her like. . . like you're the only one who was affected by it, but you're not. You keep saying my daughter, my daughter. Yes, she was your daughter, but you know what else she was? She was my sister."

At that point, Winnie could no longer choke back her sobs. "She was my baby sister. My best friend. I loved her so much. And she died. And I needed my dad. I needed you, but you left too. In every way that mattered, you left."

"If I had known. . . If I had known how you felt," the man shook his head, "Why didn't you go with your mom?"

"Because I wanted to go with you!" Winnie shouted. "My entire life, it had been you who I sought comfort in, you who I went to for advice, you! I didn't want mom, I wanted you! How was I supposed to know how this would turn out?"

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm not proud of my grieving methods, but—"

"You're not? Because it seems like you're still deep in them." The girl gestured around to the many empty beer cans and full ash trays.

Her comment drove Hopper to become extremely defensive, his face red with anger, "Oh don't do that! Need I remind you that you left me too?! All comfy and cozy with the Byers while I was stuck here like this!"

"Don't you dare turn this on me! Everything you did was your own choice! You were not stuck! All it would've taken was a clean trailer and a week sober and I would've come back without hesitation. But you didn't do that, no you sat sulking. I'm not a Byers! I never have been and I never will be, but at least they were there! They were there even though it wasn't there responsibility! Can you say the same? No! I am leaving and this time I'm not coming back until you show you deserve it." Winnie marched towards the door in anger.

"And clean this fucking place up!" She knocked several cans off the table by the door. "It's a piece o' shit."

The trailer door slammed, and she stomped down the steps. Grabbing her bike and hopping on, she pedaled out of the driveway and down the street. She knew it wasn't smart, biking alone at night, especially considering recent events, but she couldn't stand to be in there with him any longer.

What she didn't know about though, was the hole in the wall that had been formed by her father's fist the moment she had left. Or the way he curled up on the floor in a pile of his own guilt, because he knew everything Winnie had said to him was true. He was not the victim. He abandoned her. And it was up to him to fix it.

—————

When Winnie finally got back to the Byers' house, it must've something like 1:00 am. She could see through the window that all the lights were off, so she assumed Joyce and Jonathan were asleep. Opening the door, she crept towards her room as quietly as possible. If Joyce was asleep, then it was the first time in a while. She wanted the woman to have the time to truly rest.

She had just made it to her bedroom door when she heard a sound at the end of the hallway. She jumped, looking up to find what had startled her. It was extremely dark, so she couldn't make it out exactly until a voice spoke up.

"Where were you?" Jonathan asked in a hushed tone. Winnie let out a relieved sigh.

"My dad's."

"My mom was really worried."

"I'm sorry. I meant to call, but I got distracted. It's been a long day."

The boy walked up to her. "I know it's late. . . but I feel like we haven't talked. Can we?"

Winnie's heart warmed the slightest bit hearing how her friend still cared. She nodded, opening her door and gesturing for him to follow her inside. She turned on her desk lamp, which cast a dim light across the room. Sitting on her bed, she took her shoes off and crossed her legs. Jonathan sat in her desk chair to face her.

After a moment of silence, Jonathan spoke first, "I went and saw Lonnie today."

That caught Winnie off guard.

"What?"

"I just thought he would tell me more than he'd tell a cop. That was stupid of course, he didn't tell me anything."

"Does Joyce know you went?"

The boy shook his head. "And she won't."

"Do you missed school too, huh?"

"Yeah. . ."

Winnie shuttered as images from earlier that day filled her mind. She brought her hands to her face, rubbing her eyes. Sighing, she dropped her hands back into her lap.

"Benny Hammond is dead."

"What?" Jonathan asked, shocked.

"I found him. Police think suicide but they're wrong. Benny wouldn't—" She stopped herself.

Yes, she knew Benny well. She didn't think he would ever take his own life. But even people closest to her have secrets she didn't know about. So, how could she really say it wasn't suicide?

"Are you okay?" Jonathan asked her.

Winnie shrugged. "I don't know. Not really. I'm still shaken up. And then I just keep thinking about Will and the fight my dad and I had. I'm just scared, I guess."

"Your dad and you had a fight?"

"It's stupid." A single tear fell from the pools in her eyes.

Sighing, Jonathan moved from the desk chair to the bed, sitting beside her.

"Everything that's been going on. . . I'm scared too. My mom is handling it one way, and me another, but I never considered that you had to deal with it too. Will loves you like a sister. Hell, you even showed him his favorite song, remember?" He tried cheering her up. "Should I stay or should I go now?" The boy started singing. "If I go there will be trouble, but if I stay it will be double."

Winnie laughed through her tears, joining in. "So you've got to let me know, should I stay or should I go?"

Looking into her friend's eyes, she felt immense comfort in that moment. Jonathan grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. This was why Winnie loved him. Why, despite the fact he was awkward and closed-off a lot of the time, she developed feelings for the boy so quickly. It was his heart.

The boy wiped her tears away. Winnie gave him a gentle smile, accidentally letting her eyes flicker down to his lips and back again. It was a short, brief moment, and she prayed he didn't notice. But, after hearing him clear his throat and seeing him look away, she knew he had.

Jonathan looked back at her, "I should go."

Winnie nodded solemnly, "Okay."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He left the room, closing the door behind him. Winnie laid back on her bed. Gazing up at the ceiling, she replayed the whole conversation in her head, lingering on the last couple moments.

She fidgeted with her fingers, sighing. "Shit."

————

(word count: 2155)

pretty heavy chapter. we got nightmares, arguments, and getting friendzoned.

oh to be winnie hopper, amiright?

anyway lemme know what you think! i promise I'll try to write some happy content soon. when it's appropriate.

much love,
Chloe <3