Magolor|マホラア

Rubbing my head with a groan, I slowly get up and resume floating above the ground. What I said earlier about this not being my day? Yeah, that was an understatement for the ages. This day very well might be in the top 25 candidates for 'Magolor's Worst Day Ever, Thus Far.'

What all went wrong? Well, let me tell ya. First, Sparky took my ship, as you know. Then, he crashed it into the ground not too far from here, right in the middle of the Whispy Woods, sometime early this afternoon. Thankfully, I got out unscathed, but the Lor sure didn't, and unlike last time she suffered a bad landing onto this particular planet, I don't think I'm gonna be able to get any of the yokels to help me fix her. The Lightning told me he was gonna go set up shop in some northern world and build himself some kind of cloud fortress, and ordered me to try and keep an eye on the heroes for him— apparently now he can see what I see, as creepy as that sounds. Probably has something to do with that little zap he gave me back right before he took over the Lor.

Anyway, after all that happened and he was gone, guess what happened? Yeah, someone goes flying a Warp Star down out of the sky and breaks the sound barrier not far from the ground, making my ears ring for about an hour afterwards. What's worse, I saw Meta-Not up there looking none-too-happy not long after the hotshot went zooming back up into the sky again, although thankfully, he didn't seem to see me. After that, I stuck to hiding here in the Woods, figuring the tree cover can only work for me when it comes to avoiding any heroic types.

The Woods, on the other hand, haven't been any fun either. Between being chased by a bomb-happy horde of Poppy Bros. Juniors, falling in a mud puddle, running straight into more than one tree while fleeing the above-mentioned horde, and getting poked by tons of branches, it's hardly been a good evening. And then I saw Meta-Not wandering through the Woods about an hour ago, right before sunset; he seemed to be looking for something, but I vamoosed in the opposite direction of where he was headed way too quickly to guess at what.

Anyway, at least now my hood and cape are nice and clean again, thanks to the frigid plunge I took straight into the river about fifteen minutes ago, since it was dark and I could hardly see where I was going. Once I got out of the river on the other side, I saw smoke from a fire and decided to get closer, hoping maybe whoever built it had some food I could quietly nab. After all, I haven't eaten since the cup of instant noodles I had for breakfast this morning. Once I got close to the source of the smoke, I climbed up a tree to see what I could see, and quickly noticed Kirby himself and his Waddle Dee pal snoozing under a tree opposite the small campfire from me. Welp, at that point I'd found everybody except the overweight, underbrained monarch. Unfortunately, the sight of the two hero-puffs surprised me so much that I fell out of the tree right onto my face.

Again, this really hasn't been a great day for me. At least it can only go up from here, right? I hope?

After shaking off the numerous tiny Planet Popstars that are cheerfully circling my vision after my nasty fall, I go to quietly float far, far away from the pink bottomless pit, only to have a feminine, rather-cute voice grunt right behind me, "Put your gloves up where I can see them, now."

"Aw, meep," I mutter and seriously consider trying to run away, but then feel something rather sharp poke me in the back none-too-gently. Throwing my gloves up, I spin around and come face to face with—

Some girl Waddle Dee? With a pink flower ribbon and matching cape? Who's actually, like, kinda-almost cute? Which is unheard of? On Popstar? Where there are like? No puffball girls at all?

While she glares at me down the blade of her sword, eyes narrowed and a torch clenched in her free glove, all I can process is shock at the pretty-much-miraculous appearance of a female puffball on this planet. I thought girl puffballs of any variety on Popstar only existed in myth— well, actually, that's a lie; they don't even exist there, as far as I know.

Suave charmer that I am, the only thing I can get out in response to this improbable apparition is, "You're not an overweight, underbrained penguin."

Welp, it's clear that that was the wrong thing to say, as her gaze goes from one of determination to one of offended anger. "Wow, no kidding; really? So nice of you to notice. Now, tell me your name and why you're wandering the Whispy Woods, alone and unarmed, on such a dark night. You don't look like you're from around here, Mister. I've never seen anything like you."

Oh, boy. Apparently she hasn't studied her Galactic Anthropology very well. "I'm a Halcandran," I inform her, almost bored. I still have bad memories of trying to explain my existence to Kirby two-ish years ago. "From the planet Halcandra. Several quadrants away from here. Lovely place, if you like waking up to the smell of pollution and sulfuric acid in the morning and don't mind the total absence of flora and fauna. The name's Magolor, Captain Magolor of the Lor Starcutter. I'm sure you've heard of my ship."

Thankfully, my reputation doesn't seem to precede me, as she shows no recognition of my name. Sadly, neither does my ship's, as she shows no recognition of that, either. "Magolor, huh?" she mutters, keeping her sword pointed straight at me. "So what are you doing here right now? The Woods aren't a safe place to wander unarmed after dark, especially not recently."

"I, uh, crashed my ship," I tell her, mostly telling the truth. "Not too far from here, actually." When she just stares at me in disbelief, I awkwardly shrug, still keeping my gloves where she can see them. "It's hard to fly when there's so much lightning around." That's not a lie either, not really. Woot, I'm actually doing pretty good for me when it comes to truth-telling, for the moment, anyway. I'm actually kinda proud of me.

Still seeming unconvinced, she finally lowers her sword slightly and jerks her head, beckoning me to follow her back toward the little camp. "You'll be staying with us until I know you're not up to something. Maybe Meta Knight will know what to do with you if... uh, when he comes back."

"Aw, meep," I mutter to myself again, and then answer her awkwardly, "As kind of you as it is for you to make such a... 'generous' offer, Lady, I'm afraid I'll have to refuse. Meta Knight and I aren't exactly... 'simpatico,' if we're being perfectly honest."

"Say what now?" she demands, growing confused. Good. I like confused. It makes for easier escapes. "Do you and Meta Knight know each other, then?"

Flexing my gloves a bit (holding them up like this for so long is kinda tiring), I chuckle awkwardly with a side-glance off into space, "I guess you could say that..." Turning my attention back to her, I tell her fervently, "But it's not me you need to be worried about, Lady. It's that guy." Pointing somewhere behind her, I wait for her to turn around to check, and then spin around and go floating away as fast as I can. Of course, it takes next to no time at all for her to figure out my little deception and come running after me at top speed.

"Hey! Stop! You haven't been released yet, Mister! Get the Shotzo back here!"

"'The Shotzo.' I kinda like that," I mutter to myself as I keep fleeing. I had a couple of unfortunate encounters with those sentient cannons the last time I was here, so turning their name into a curse seems rather fair and apt. Back at her, I shout, "Sorry, Lady, but I can't stay and chat. Maybe we'll run into each other some other time under better circumstances. If not, it's been nice to meet ya, okay? Laterz!"

Giving a shout of anger after me, she keeps chasing me, staying surprisingly close behind given that I'm floating over all the low-to-the-ground obstacles and she's having to climb or run over them. Then again, I'm pretty out-of-shape, and she, obviously, is very, very, very not.

Just then, I realize that this torch-lit bit of the Woods looks awfully familiar, and then further realize with a sinking feeling that this is right about where I encountered the bomb-happy Juniors earlier today. Then, though, that sinking feeling turns into a gleeful realization that my being-pursued-by-an-angry-girl-with-a-sword days are about to be over.

Which is actually kinda sad, in a way, if you think about it. This is probably the only time in my life that a girl's actually found me worth chasing.

That aside, though, I stay quiet until I can see a couple of hats hiding in the treetops, and then squeal at the top of my lungs, "Hey, Poppy-Poppy-Poppy-Poppy-Poppy-Poppy! Hey, Poppy! I brought you guys a playmate!" Evidently not understanding my words even if they can hear my screams, the Poppy Bros. come pouring out from the the treetops and gleefully start lobbing bombs at me. Floating past them as fast as I can, I shriek at them all, gesturing blindly back behind me, "No! Take her, not me!"

"Who are you yelling at?!" she demands from behind me, but then runs into what is probably by now an impassable barrier of Poppy Bros. Juniors. After briefly glancing back over my shoulder to make sure that's the case, I keep floating for several more minutes until I'm certain I'm far enough away from her and the Poppies to be safe, or at least something somewhat resembling being safe, for now.

Right away, I start trying to catch my breath, and— hey, stop looking at me like that. She shouldn't've chased me if she didn't wanna end up Poppy fodder, and besides—

Wait a second.

Who am I even talking to?

Why am I narrating my life like this?

Come to think of it, I've been doing this ever since I started feeling that weird sense of déjà vu earlier... What the, uh, 'Shotzo' is going on here?

Well, whatever.

I need a break to catch my breath, like I was saying. I'll catch you later, I guess.

...Who am I even talking to??? Augh...