10; a promise to the dead

The battle was over, Hydra was defeated. Well, not fully defeated until Johann Schmidt payed for all the pain he caused the whole world. Evelyn and the rest of the Howling Commandos were holed up in the radio tower waiting with bated breath to know what had been the fate of their leader. If he died or survived. Evelyn really preferred the latter.

The only sound was the quiet chatter of what would come of the Hydra soldiers they had captured between Peggy and Colonel Phillips. Evelyn would've been involved in that conversation, considering she was second in command but her attention was solely on the radio that would hopefully reveal Steve was alive and well. Jim was manning it but she was close behind him, eyes never straying from the microphone.

She should be there with him. They were a team and they went down together. She knew the minute he confirmed he was okay she was going to have to talk about not only terrifying her but also that she is as important as him and he needed to recognise that. If she wanted to go on a plane to certain death with him, she would, no questions asked or protests.

After what felt like hours passed, static began to buzz through the radio, then Steve's voice erupted in a panic. "Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?"

Jim was about to speak but Evelyn nearly pushed him out of the chair to get to the mic. "Steve? Steve, are you okay?"

"Evelyn!" He sounded so happy to hear her voice, she couldn't help but smile. "Schmidt, he's dead."

"Thank god." she muttered. "And what condition are you in? Where are you now?"

"Um, that's a little bit tougher to explain."

"What do you mean? What's going on?" she was starting to get panicked now. "Give your coordinates, I'm sure there is a safe landing spot-"

"There's not gonna to be a safe landing but I can try and force it down."

Evelyn stared at the microphone incredulously, almost like she wanted him to see her. "Hold on, Steve, let's not jump to conclusions yet. Maybe we could call Stark, he's good with planes, right?" She laughed but it was shaky, tears beginning to well up in her eyes but she didn't let them fall, not until it was definite that he was going to die.

"There's not enough time. This thing's moving too fast and it's heading for New York." Evelyn felt her heart sink to her stomach. "I got to put her in the water." She shook her head, this couldn't be happening, it wasn't fair.

She was not loosing another person close to her.

"Right now, I'm in the middle of nowhere." He continued. "If I wait any longer, a lot of people are gonna die."

"Come on Steve, think about this." she pleaded. "Think about what you're giving up, and who you're giving up."

"Eve, this is my choice."

"Yeah, Captain America's choice maybe, but not Steve Rogers!" she snapped, her voice thick as her heart broke even more. "Please Steve, talk to me like you're not a super soldier, talk to me like the guy who couldn't run the track twice to save his life." the blonde breathed a laugh, remembering the day he sat on top of a grenade to save everyone else. "Talk to me like the guy I fell for."

There was silence for too long and Evelyn feared the worst, but then he breathed. "I'm scared, Evelyn."

"I know."

"I don't want to die but there is no other way to do this."

"Then let's talk about something else," she whispered, trying to smile through the tears now freely flowing down her face. She was so wrapped up in this she didn't even notice she was only one left in the room. "Like dancing. You still up for our date, soldier?"

There was a chuckle on the other end. "Yes, ma'am. Though I may need a rain check."

A laugh bubbled up from her throat. It would be a very long rain check. "Yeah, sure. Peggy knows this great place, think it's called the Stork Club. Eight o'clock soldier, and that's an order."

"Believe me, I won't want to miss that."

And she knew he wouldn't have. He would've showed up on time in a his uniform while she wore something nice and they would've danced the night away. She would've kissed him too, to make up for not doing it tonight.

She regrets that, by the way.

"I still don't know how to dance."

"I still don't believe that, unless you show it to me in person."

"We'll have the band play something slow."

"What about Old Man River? It was my father's favourite song."

"Yeah, that's slow enough. I mean I'd hate to step on your-"

The next thing she heard was static. No sound of Steve's frantic voice, just white noise. Evelyn shut her eyes, rested her elbows against the cold metal of the countertop and sobbed into her hands. She pushed the microphone away, not bearing to look at it, because it was a reminder of not being able to save Steve. Although she was devastated, she still hoped that she put him at some ease as his death approached him. The blonde had two options at this point: shut the world out and mourn her lost potential boyfriend and maybe more, or suck it up for a few more hours until she got home where she could sob in peace.

And she would've chosen the latter if Peggy hadn't come in to check on her. All she had to do was look up from her hands to prove to her friend that he was gone. Peggy's wasted no time in rushing towards her and wrapping her arms around her, whispering comfort into her hair. Her tears had run dry at the point but Evelyn welcomed the hug.

When it was time to tell the team, that was probably the hardest part. She broke to them as softly as she could, not wanting to rip the bandaid off. Everyone had their own way of dealing with the news but what Falsworth did made her breath catch in her throat. He took off his beret, bowed his head and just stood in silence for a solid two minutes. It was so beautiful and respectful that it made the ends of her lips curl upwards.

Something she thought would never happen again.

-

In all honesty, she doesn't know why she did it to herself.

Evelyn sipped her cocktail at the bar of the Stork Club the next Saturday at eight o'clock sharp. Maybe it was her mind being too hopeful, too optimistic in a time where that didn't seem to be the right outlook on life.

She had asked the Colonel to take a leave for a few days to which he agreed saying she deserved it. The Mason daughter got to her mother's house, was let in by Ann and rushed to her mother's bedside, crying to her mother as the sick woman held her hand. Bless her mom, she listened to every word she had to say and then when she was over, just smiled at her.

"You sound exactly how I did when I lost Jasper." Evelyn frowned. "I was devastated, I called him stupid, idiotic but I still wish he would back here with you and I. I called him all those things out of love. And something tells me you weren't exactly at each other's throats."

That left Evelyn speechless. The soldier blinked a few times. Maybe she did love Steve, and maybe she had called him those things out of love but it didn't matter. Whatever was going to happen died in that plane crash and nothing could be done about it. She kept telling herself that as she left the house late in the night. She had to move on.

Yet why was she here?

Every now and then she would look at the door, as if expecting his dumb face to walk through the door, all smart in his decorated uniform. He would turn around and see her and get that dumbstruck look on his face as he admired her(he still could never work out women) and then he would sweep her onto the dance floor.

In an attempt to look like she was waiting for an actual date, the blonde would check her watch, tap her foot impatiently. As the clock rolled by ten thirty, the bar tender made his way over to her. "Stood up?"

She nodded. "Seems so." just walk through the door, please, be impossible and walk through the door.

"Well," the bartender smiled. "You can still enjoy the music, ain't that right."

"Sure is." he poured her another drink and left her to stew in her sorrow.

Evelyn watched Peggy dance amidst the laughing and cheerful people. In fact, she began to smile as a man offered to dance with her and she seemed more than happy to take it. While being lead to the dance floor the brunette gave her a look to which she giggled at. The song was happy and bouncy, making her bop along to the music slightly. And just as quickly as she was starting to have fun, her spirits dropped again.

As the song drifted out and the band played another, her smile dropped completely. Old Man River's soulful slow melody began to echo around the dance hall. The soldier cleared her throat, setting her drink down. By now it was eleven and it was time to wrap things up.

She tiptoed her way over to Peggy. "Hey, I'm going to take off."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm kinda tired and I've got training early in the morning so I better go now before I never get any sleep." She gave her friend a sad smile. Peggy knew she was lying but she let her go anyway.

Evelyn slipped out of the hall quietly, wiping a few stray tears that spilled out. She navigated the streets to her house fairly quickly, just wanting to go home and sleep.

Tomorrow she would let herself move on, but she would just have this night to wonder about what could've been.

-
(not edited as per usual)

A/N: I. AM. DEAD. INSIDE

Seriously I nearly cried writing the first part. I thought it was the best thing I've written in this whole entire fic. Hope I didn't kill you with the double update in a week but I think I might get this done by the end of July start of August!

Since this is coming to an end I just wanted to thank everyone of you that has read this and supported it with comments and votes. This will be the first fanfic I will have ever finished and that's kind of a big deal. So thank you for giving me the courage to continue this! It means so much.

Comment, vote & follow! - Emma