Chapter twelve: "I promise."

"My power is...power mimicry. I can copy and replecate certain powers." Jesse winked at me.

Oh no he didn't. Did he?

"I did." He grinned.

"Stop copying my powers." I scowled. "And you. What are your powers?" I glared at Nayyar. "And when did you move here?"

"Late last year and i have night vision and intangibility. Im basically like a ghost." He joked. Nearly everyone laughed. Key word nearly.

"Okaii how is it, that pretty much everyone i know has powers?" I sighed. "Im going bed." I stated and walked out the room.

"What about greyson?" Jesse shouted after me.

"Kill him." I was too tired to even think at the moment.
*
*
*
I finish brushing my teeth and take a look at my self in the mirror. A black haired, dulled eyed girl. A girl longing for her bestftiend. One word would describe me; broken.

My eyes were burning and my chest felt heavy as if it were filled with lead. I could no longer see clearly. All I knew was that she was gone, out of my life for possibly forever. Alone in the bathroom, I reached out my hand so that I could clearly see it and reached for the mirror. Nope this is my reality. She was gone. Forever.

I never learned to cry with style, silently, the pearl-shaped tears rolling down my cheeks from wide dull grey eyes, leaving no smears or streaks. I wished I had; then I could have done it in front of people, instead of in bathrooms, in darkened rooms and empty bedrooms.

I swipe at my cheeks roughly, leaving red raw marks and made my way to my makeup box. My saving grace. Makeup makes me look alive. It makes me look like i have color in my cheeks and that i have slept well. But underneath it all is a sad and broken girl, with big bags under her eyes from sleepless night and sickly white skin.

I take eyedrops and place them in my eyes, so the redness of them go down. I then start on my makeup. Once done, i grab a sweater, some leggings and my uggs. Then i go into the kitchen.

"Hey Star, what sup?" Nayyar walked up to me.

"The ceiling." I stated bored. Then I yawn...like a cat, tongue out and everything.

"She needs coffee in the morning, or else she gets grouchy. Here vel." Sam passed me a hot, steamy cup of coffee. I gave him a small smile.

"Thanks Sammy." I motioned to the coffee.

"Will you join me out side. I want to talk." He got all serious all of a sudden.

"Sure." I followed him onto the balcony and closed the doors. "Whats up?" I took a whif of my deliciously goodness.

"Here..." Samuel passed me a cigarette. "So i was wondering, whats with you and Shit face in there?" Sam  gave me a funny look.

I sparked my cig up and took a drag before answering. "Which shithead?"

"You know Nayyar? Ring any bells?" He sighed taking a cigarette out for him self. "Please Vel, i just want to know, do you have history with this guy?" He looked desperate for answers.

"We have some sort of history." I muttered, with this he turned his head away from me, his glossy eyes not looking at me, he was standing silently.

After a few minutes, when he turned at last to face me there was no trace of tears, not in his eyes or in track marks on his reddening face. His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard. In that moment I knew he was already far away.

Once more I was the enemy.

These swings from most loved to most hated would be the end of me. His states had no greyscale, only the polar extremes existed. I drew in a deep breath of smoke, the burning hard stare would last only as long as it took him to think of the most brutally cutting thing he could tear me down with.

And after that I could kiss anything breakable goodbye. Which right now might just be my nose, it was so hard to tell and so pointless to run. "I want to get so drunk, i never remeber you again. That broke me a little more.

But before i could say or do anything else, Sam threw his cig butt off the balcony and vanished into the hotel. "Not the kind you thought though." Was what i wanted to say but in the end i muttered, "I thought you was the only one that got me and let me explain things but i guess i was wrong." I sighed deeply, raw anger enveloped my whole body.

Never trying again.

And to top things off my coffee was freezing.

Sams pov

I stormed into the kitchen, smoke engulfed my nostils. Astra looks like shes not trying anymore, does she even like me as a friend? Does she hate me?

My breathing was ragged and my heart was clenched. It seemed like the girl i like has been with pretty much everyone of my guy friends aprat from like two. Jesse doesnt count, i have an off feeling about him. A feeling i cant exsplain.

"Whats the matter bud?" Nayyar glanced at me, his eyes full of concern. Fuck him and his concern. I was about to storm off when something he said cought my attention.

"Is it Star? Has she told you whats the matter?" He stared at his hands, proberly not knowing what to look at.

"What do you mean whats the matter?" I asked, generly confused.

"Iv asked everyone but they are saying she is fine. She doesnt look fine." His eyes bored into mine. I shook my head at the thought.

"What could possibly be the matter with her? Iv never noticed a change." I stated, confused and curious of what he could be implying.

"How have you not noticed. The last time i saw her, it was different. Now...her eyes have sunken deep into dark hollows of no sole, her smile is broken in two and are fake and when shes alone, you see her walls crumble. When she thinks no ones looking, her eyes gloss over, her eyes are duller then they was. Shes died her hair, she wears heavy makeup and she smokes. Shes self destructive." He sighed looking out the window.

"Depression is the unseen, unheard, silent killer. It's the pain that's too much to cope with, too hard to deal with and so misunderstood. People misunderstand it for fine, this is not fine. She is not fine." I glanced at where he was staring, at her.

Astra has her hands covered in her sleeve's and is sat on the balcony railing. One slip and she will plumet down to her death.

Is that what she wants?

To be dead?

How have i not seen the signs?

The sleepless nights, change in appetite, feeling helpless and guilt ridden.

Has losing her friend taken that much of a toll on her?

"Sam, promise me you will look out for her." Nayyars eyes was pleading, begging for a promise. I promise i dont know if i could keep. What if she does something when im not there or something happens that i cant help with?

But none the less i nod. "I promise." I look back at Astra, but she slowly turns her head towards me. Her eyes though, when someone looks at you like that, eyes holding total anger, it hurts; but when that someone holds your heart in their hand it kills.

Even if you deserve it, sometimes especially if you do, the loss is a fine pair of concrete boots and your own soul is a cold river.