Doc, recently after getting away from HYDRA: Hey Bdubs, what's a metaphor?

Bdubs: Uh, "my life is a train wreck".

Doc: I know, but what's a metaphor?

Doc: You're violent.

Bdubs: Yeah but I'm also "short", so therefore that's adorable.

Mumbo: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Impulse: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.

Tango: I would say infinitesimally.

Clint (Hawkeye): And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

Iskall: I'm 80% awesome, 20% water, and 100% handsome.

Tony: That's 200%.

Iskall: I'm twice the man you'll ever be

Grian: Everything's fine, Stark.

Tony: Grian, I know your relationship with the English language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT'S NOT FINE-

Keralis: What's your favorite color?

Bdubs: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.

Keralis: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

Bdubs: ... My favorite color is black

Tango: You can't wake up if you never got to sleep

Impulse, needs to know where the caffeine is for... reasons: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.

Impulse: *cuts piece of cake*

Bruce, the one who hid it: ...Can I have some?

Doc: Cake is for talkers.

Grian: Truth or dare?

Mumbo: Truth.

Grian: How many hours have you slept this week?

Mumbo:

Mumbo: Dare.

Grian: Go to sleep.

Mumbo: I don't like this game.

Cub, pre-Hermits: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!

Scar, pre-Hermits: Because unless you're a shapeshifter, it's physically impossible for you to be a duck, unfortunately.

Joe: Yeah I'm LGBT.

Joe: cuLt leader.

Joe: God hates me personally.

Joe: cowBoy hat.

Joe: *sniffles* Trying my best.

Iskall: Here's the cold medicine you asked for.

Iskall: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Tony, wondering how a fifteen-year-old managed to get wine: ...Thanks?

Tony: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Grian: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Scar: I got distracted halfway through...

Doc: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Alex: Dang, Cub, are you secretly cool?

Cub: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Alex: I do not.

Keralis, entering Bdubs' room: Sweetface, Doc did it again.

Bdubs: Peace disturbance?

Keralis: What no-

Bdubs: Arson..?

Keralis: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-

Bduhs: uh....Attempted murder?

Keralis: NO, HE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE F-

Bdubs: Are you a masochist or a sadist?

Tango, deadpan: I'm an Aries.

Tango: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don't set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It's risky and I like it.

Joe: I desire moisture.

Cleo: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.