Ren: Isn't this a bit dangerous?

Doc: Ren, please. We've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unharmed.

Ren: ...

Doc: Okay, we sometimes escape unharmed.

Ren: ... *raises eyebrow*

Doc: Alright, we escaped unharmed once... Then we harm ourselves on the way home.

Alex: SIX. WEEKS. SIX WEEK, XISUMA.

Grian: ???? 

Xisuma: it's not a big- 

Alex: YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT, FOR SIX. WEEKS. 

Scar: *sips chocolate milk* In fairness, it was hilarious. 

Alex: *glares* *inhales and runs off* RAAAAAGGGGHHHH-

Mumbo: When was the last time you cried?

Zed: Uh, 15 minutes ago, why?

Mumbo: really? That recent?

Zed: Yeah. *voice crack* Is that an issue? *starts crying again*

Mumbo: *panics*

Mumbo: I think you're still suffering from the effects of patrol last night. What'd you drink to keep you awake all night? 

Etho: All I drank was Redbull!

Mumbo: How many?

Etho: Eighteen.

Zed: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

Bdubs: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You're supposed to say I have 'the right to remain silent'"! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!

Alex: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

Joe: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Joe, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Bdubs: Cub isn't answering my messages.

Mumbo: Me neither. 

Scar: Allow me.

Bdubs: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Cub: *replying to message* Heyyy wassup?

Villain: What has the galaxy ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?!

Zed: Cause I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!! It'd kinda be a problem if it was gone!

Me (CaptainMarra): Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Joe: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Doc: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Mumbo: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Grian: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Iskall: Mental stability, my old friend!

Me: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little? Also, are you guys okay??

Mumbo: Ren...

Ren: Oh no, 'Ren' in B flat.

Ren: You're disappointed.

Grian: You might not know this, Etho, but I am a flawed person.

Etho: I do know that.

Iskall, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?

Zed: *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside*

Alex: *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside*

Etho: *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple*

Iskall: I hate all of you

Etho: Hey Cub?

Cub: Yeah?

Etho: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Cub:

Cub: ...What

Xisuma: This is a very powerful artifact. You'd be messing with some forces we don't fully understand.

Hels: That sounds like a dare to me.

Alex: *facepalm* Oh my gods

Tango, singing: So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want 

Wilbur, bleeding out and singing along: I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want 

Tango: So, tell me what you want, what you really really want! 

Wilbur, passing out: I wanna... I wanna... I wa... 

Tango, turning to Techno and Impulse: So, tell me what you want, what you- 

Techno, also bleeding out: I really want an ambulance.

Impulse, used to this: I really wanna die please

Questions, thoughts, commentary?

- CaptainMarra (is trying to have an update schedule QwQ)