(Enjoy this deluxe edition, brought to you by my last two braincells. It used to be five, but I lost half when writing this. Wait-)

Grian: Hail Satan!
Mumbo: Rain Satan.
Scar: Snow Satan.
Stress: Tomorrow there is a 98% chance of precipisatan.
Grian: It'll be foggy in the morning, lots of condensatan.
Iskall: Oh god.

Tango: Never microwave a Caprisun!
Impulse: What did you do?
Tango:
Tango: I microwaved a Caprisun

Mumbo: Let's talk about your emotions.
Grian: Stabbing.
Mumbo: Stabbing isn't really an emotion, it's more of a thing that I hope you don't do to me. See, an emotion is more of a feeling.
Grian: Well, maybe I feel s t a b b y

Bdubs: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
X: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital
Bdubs: It wasn't a ride, me and Keralis carried you
X: But I heard a siren
Bdubs: That was Keralis
Keralis: Sorry, I got nervous

Joe: Hey, do you have any bags I can use?
Cleo: The only bags are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence--
Joe: All you had to say was no.

Joe: Cleo, you're being awfully quiet.
Cleo: Well, duh. No one plans a murder loudly.

Keralis: You could have died, Bubbles!
Bdubs: The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be!
Doc: *chokes on water in the background*

Cleo: Alright, you've lost knee privileges

Kidnapper, holding Ren hostage: Alright, give me $10,000 and I'll let him go.
Ren, offended: You think I'm only worth $10,000???
Kidnapper:
Ren: Make it a million!
Iskall, standing nearby: SHUT THE F*CK UP

Grian: ...I have no idea how to breathe.

Etho: Kaaaaaaa
Beef: No
Etho: Meeeeeeee
Doc: Etho
Etho: Haaaaaaaaaaaa
Bdubs: Stop
Etho: Meeeeeeeeeeee
Beef: STOP
Etho: Ok
Doc: Good
Etho:
Etho: haaaaaAAAAA A A A A A

Cub: I WILL DESTROY THE MIDDLE CLASS, AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

Keralis: So how are you planning to take revenge on me and Bubbles?
Doc: *brandishes whiteboard* Why don't you read it for yourself?
Keralis: *reads whiteboard* This...beach...am...tea? Wait, I'm confus—
Doc: *fires TNT launcher, propelling Keralis up into the air* Y E E T

Grian: They say pick my battles. Well, I'm tiny and full of rage and I'm picking all of them.

Tango: We came to cause destruction, blow stuff up, and eat ice cream.
Bdubs: Not necessarily in that order.
Tango: And it hasn't been.
Impulse: No.
Tango: We started with the ice cream.
Impulse: Always.

Keralis: Would you two stop fighting???
Bdubs: We are not fighting. We are having a creative discussion.
Doc: We are too fighting!
Bdubs: Creative discussion.
Doc: Fight!
Bdubs: Discussion!
Doc: Fight!
Keralis: I can't believe you're actually having a fight about if you're having a fight.

Iskall: You're so dramatic!
Ren, rose clenched in his teeth, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear in the day, draping himself across a piano: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Tango: How come whenever I have fun, it's wrong???
Impulse: Because whenever you have fun, people die.
Tango: And your point is????

Doc: Roses are red
Doc: Violets are blue
Doc: Talk sh*t about the GOAT again
Doc: And I'll hit you with my shoe

Keralis: That's it! I'm done with all of you!
Keralis, to xB and Bdubs: Not you sunshines, my brothers for life, my soul partners, my beautiful sweetfaces--
Doc: WE GET IT.

Bdubs: Truth or dare?
Doc: Truth.
Bdubs: How many hours have you slept this week?
Doc: Dare.
Bdubs: Go to sleep.
Doc: I don't like this game.

Grian: A pet rock is a fun pet until you realize it's essentially immortal and you've cursed it to an eternity of watching its loved ones die.
Mumbo: Grian stop texting me it's 3 in the morning

Joe: Anxiety? What could be giving you anxiety?
Cleo: Um, let's see. Every aspect of my life?

Ex: Hey, I can be brooding and dark, too--hey, look, a rainbow!

Bdubs: I know all about your diabolical plan.
Doc: What diabolical plan?
Bdubs: *holds up piece of paper that says "The GOAT's Diabolical Plan"*

Iskall: 1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.
Mumbo: There are eight planets.
Iskall: VIVA LA PLUTO! F*CK YOU!

Cleo: *walks into the room with watery eyes, sniffling*
Joe: What is it? What's wrong? Why are you crying?
Cleo: I'm not crying, my eyes are just watery because of the smoke from the fire I made in the kitchen again.
Joe:
Joe: W H A T

Mumbo: Anyone under 5'7" can't be talking about fighting anyone. What are you gonna do? Headbutt someone in the chest?
Grian: SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR KNEECAPS, A**HOLE

Keralis: *yawns*
Bdubs: Yeah, being pretty must be tiring
Keralis: *tilts head* So you must be exhausted.
Bdubs: *blushes furiously*

Impulse: ...Aren't we going to help him?
Tango: Give him a few minutes. This is too good.
Zed: *pushing on a door that clearly says pull*

Cleo: Pass the pepper
Joe: What's the magic word?
Cleo: Or else.
Joe: That's two words but point taken

Grian: You call it a near-death experience, I call it a vibe check from god
Mumbo: Grian stop doing this you'll get yourself killed one day