(WC: 3130 (holy cow)
Category: Angst + hurt/comfort
Category: Major character death, derealization

Collab with WhoopsIJustDied! This was super fun to do. We had the idea during WC3 and fleshed it out in Discord DMs afterwards. We also started sharing a few other ideas that I'll get to writing soon! (I just need to finish Swap's editing, finally)

She also had the idea to write two alternate endings: one fluff, and one angst. She wrote the angst one, and I wrote the fluff one (which turned out to be more bittersweet than anything lmao). It was awesome seeing how we approached both endings :D

Enjoy!)

Sleeping peacefully

It wasn't the first time he'd had this dream.

Bdubs found himself sitting at the edge of the river that flowed next to his village base. The running water was soothing to him, and it helped him clear his thoughts. The stars shone brightly against a deep blue, almost black, sky. This was where he usually came to think or take his mind off things.

Unbeknownst to the other Hermits, though, it was also where his dreams always took place.

The girl I used to be

He tossed a small pebble into the water, watching small circular ripples expand from the point of impact before being washed away by the current. He glanced behind him, knowing what would come next.

It was always how this dream went. He had come to expect it by now.

Until I fell so deep
A neverending tragedy

On cue, a lone figure came into his view, gliding down gracefully before touching down in the grass with a small rustle. When they saw Bdubs's head turned towards them, they grinned a bit. "Were you expecting me or something?"

"Good to see you, too, Scar," Bdubs said truthfully as Scar took a seat next to him.

You haunt me in my dreams,
But it's all I want to see...

You're the oxygen I need, yet I can't breathe.

To be honest, this dream was one of the only reasons Bdubs had such a consistent sleep schedule. He was always quick to return to his bed and slip into unconsciousness the moment the sun began to dip under the horizon.

The waking world was anything but appealing anymore. Especially after Scar's...departure from the living world.

But he wasn't gone. Not in Bdubs' mind. No, he was right there, listening to him ramble about his day as they skipped stones and stargazed. Just like old times. Every single night he had this dream.

Circles, in circles, I go around,

Every single night he chased the familiar presence of his friend.

Looking for something that can't be found.

It was the closest thing to comfort that he could grasp.

And Scar provided that comfort. Or rather, his delusion of Scar provided that delusion of comfort.

"Hey, Scar..." Bdubs said tentatively. Even though he saw Scar every night, he still couldn't quite believe it. It felt just like having him back in the waking world...

Except in this fantasy reality, he had everything he needed.

Circles, in circles, without a sound,

"Can I talk to you?" he continued, glancing over at Scar. Scar's attention was turned to the stars, and even though he wasn't looking at Bdubs, Bdubs felt like everything was going to be okay in that moment.

"Sure," Scar said absentmindedly after a moment, tossing a stone from hand to hand. He could never skip stones. I used to teach him, but he never got the hang of it. "What's on your mind?"

Bdubs always talked to Scar about what was going on. No lies here. If he was feeling good, he'd recount the events of the day. If he was in a bad mood, he'd vent to Scar. Whatever it was, he'd tell Scar how he was feeling.

And Scar would listen. And he would respond, too, as best as he could. And that was enough for Bdubs. He was just happy to have Scar next to him, even if it was all a dream.

Even if, soon, he'd have to wake up and go back to reality.

My words can't be heard when the fear surrounds my heart.

"What is happening to me?" Bdubs whispered. "Tell me, what does all this mean?"

Scar turned to him with a questioning look. "What d'you mean by that?"

Bdubs sighed. He knew his time in this imaginary place was trickling away slowly, the sun would soon peek over the horizon.

So far away from reality, "What a lovely place to be."

"I-" He knew the longer he stayed, the more he sank into his own insanity. It was a destructive coping method, but it was the only thing that made him feel good again. Despite being in his head, it made him feel alive.

So if he broke the illusion, would he erase his friend as well? He didn't dare find out.

"I- nevermind! It's nothing!" Bdubs muttered.

Scar glanced at him. "You sure? C'mon, no secrets between us, remember?" He laughed.

I tell myself, 'cause every second like this feels like hell,
Are these words that you gave me real, I can't tell.

Bdubs gave nothing but a weak smile in response. For some reason, those words made him feel so uneasy. It felt so off.

But that didn't matter. All that mattered was that they were able to interact with each other again, right?

"Seriously, Bdubs, if something's wrong, please tell me," Scar said, a look of concern on his face. "You always tell me the truth, what's happened that made you change your mind?"

"Scar, please, I don't want to talk about it," Bdubs pleaded. "Drop it."

"If something's bothering you, I'm here to listen!" Scar said. That was one of the things he hated most about Scar--his inability to let things go. Sometimes, it helped him. Most of the time, though, it was more of a curse than a blessing.

"It doesn't matter!" Bdubs said, his voice rising. Because nothing mattered here. "Scar, I said let it go."

"I'm here to listen," Scar insisted, holding out his hands. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"I--it's you!" Bdubs blurted out before he could stop himself. "You're what's wrong! You're not supposed to be here--you're supposed to be dead! And I'm sitting here, talking to you in this dream scene when I'm supposed to be moving on!

"But I can't move on from all of this! I sit here, every night, waiting for you, dwelling in the past because it's better than being in the present! What's wrong with me?

"I can't do this, Scar."

Scar paused, his mouth open but nothing coming out. He stared at Bdubs with a confused, almost sad expression. "...I'm not supposed to be here?"

"You're dead." Bdubs spat out the last word, hating it. "You only exist here, in my dreams. And soon, I'll wake up. And tomorrow, none of this will even be remembered. We'll start all over again."

"Bdubs, you're torturing yourself--" Scar started, but Bdubs put up a hand to stop him.

"I miss you too much to let go."

And, with that, the dream started to fade away. The sun replaced the stars, the deep blue turning into a violet, then pink, then red as the sunrise started. Scar stared at Bdubs one more time before he, too, disappeared from view.

Just like how he had in real life.

I'll see you again in a dream so far away.

The day flashed by unnoticed. All Bdubs did was work mindlessly and keep his eyes glued to the sun, watching it travel across the sky until it began to sink to where his view could no longer follow. He made his way to his bed and sank into the sheets, letting his dreams consume his thoughts with a sigh.

The sound of rushing water filled his ears and stars filled his eyes. Bdubs sat up and waited. It didn't take long for a familiar visitor to arrive.

"Hey, Scar," Bdubs said softly before the other could speak. His friend smiled and sat beside him.

"Hey! How was your day?" Scar asked the question Bdubs had heard more times than he could count.

He recalled his day, spilling it all to Scar. Neither of them mentioned last night's events. Scar couldn't remember, after all.

Bdubs knew it was because Scar didn't even know that they had occurred. That this illusion of his friend was reset every time he drifted to sleep.

Circles, in circles I go around

A painful, yet welcome cycle.

Bdubs wasn't sure why he endured the onslaught of bittersweet memories every time this dream came back. Every night he sank deeper and deeper into his own pit of melancholy and wistfulness. But he hung onto the memories because it was the only thing that remained of his dead friend.

Looking for a reason that can't be found.
Circles, in circles, without a sound,

And Bdubs would willingly reminisce through his dreams as long as it meant he could cling on to what was left.

My tears can't be heard when they hit the ground.

The pain was worth it.

"...What does it feel like, Scar?" Bdubs asked quietly.

Scar turned to Bdubs with a slightly raised eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"What's it like?" Bdubs repeated. "When...love comes alive? It's been a long time since I've felt it. Ever since someone I was really close to...left...I hadn't felt the same since. There's this gaping hole that I have that can only be filled by them. You should know. You're one of the most caring and compassionate people I know. What is it like?"

Scar was silent for a moment before answering. "It's not as great as you would imagine. You probably think that, if that person were to ever come back, things would come back to normal. But...that's not always the case. More likely, you'll just keep wanting...more. It's not enough for you."

"So...what would you suggest I do?"

"Move on from it," Scar replied without hesitation. "That's the only real way to stop it from hurting."

"...I get it. Thank you, Scar. Y'know, your listening alone is enough for me."

"Do you feel better now? I hope you do."

"Yes," he lied. "I do. Thank you."

And one day, I wish that
I won't keep hiding the truth,

It never worked. Scar could never make him feel better, no matter what he said. And Bdubs knew why. And that made it hurt even worse.

Scar was just a delusion, after all. He wasn't real. What he said to comfort Bdubs was just a mirror of what he tried to convince himself of every day. Just move on. It's the only real way to stop the hurting. He said it to himself every day--and every night, in the form of Scar's memory--but it never worked.

He would have moved on if it did.

But I'm just a fool,
Oh, I'm such a fool.

Repeating, repeating,
I'm dying, I'm breathing,

Every time he fell asleep, he felt eager and hesitant at the same time, yearning for Scar's presence but dreading the pain that would follow.

Repeating, repeating,
I'm crying, I'm healing,

Every time he fell asleep, he felt sad and relieved at the same time, letting go of his doubts but gaining more in the process.

Repeating, repeating,
I'm dying, I'm breathing,

Every time he fell asleep, he felt lonely and whole at the same time, reuniting with his friend but feeling shattered when morning inevitably arrived.

Repeating, repeating,
I'm crying, I'm healing,

Every time he fell asleep, he felt disconnected but attached at the same time, drifting closer to the imaginary scene his dreams had produced while slipping away from the reality he didn't want to wake to.

Re-

This cycle would do him no good, he needed closure.

ANGST ENDING (Whoops)

Circles, in circles, I go around,
Looking for a reason that can't be found.

The morning arrived and Bdubs had never felt so disheartened.

Circles and circles, without a sound,
My tears can't be heard when they hit the ground.

Honestly, why remain in reality when his dreams were so much better?

But so much worse.

Circles, in circles, I go around
Looking for something that can't be found.

Bdubs was grasping at something that he could never have again.

A friendship long gone.

And it was hurting him more than Scar's initial departure.

Circles, in circles, without a sound,
My words can't be heard when the fear surrounds my heart.

Bdubs disconnected from the rest of the hermits. He needed no one, needed nothing but his own delusions.

He would lay in bed, dully waiting for sleep.

"So come take my hand and," Bdubs said to the illusion of his friend. "Come help me feel what it's like when love comes alive. The feeling's been gone so long I don't even remember it in the slightest."

He had asked it once before, but didn't bring the context up again this time.

It wouldn't help him anyways.

And one day I wish that
I won't keep hiding the truth,

He had to face his doubts, his grief, his insanity, at one point.

But I'm just a fool,
Oh, I'm such a fool...

But did he...really need to?

It was...too hard. Much too hard to come to terms with this.

It would be so much easier to just let it repeat, fall victim to the grief.

So he let the painful dream continue. Over and over again.

Repeating, repeating,
I'm dying, I'm breathing,

The cycle had gone on too long. He was slowly drifting to insanity.

Repeating, repeating,
I'm crying, I'm healing,

The cycle had gone on too long. He was slowly disconnecting from reality.

Repeating, repeating,
I'm dying, I'm breathing,

The cycle had gone on too long. He was slowly starting to dread waking up more and more.

Repeating, repeating,
I'm crying, I'm healing,

The cycle had gone on too long. He was ready to end it.

He drifted off to sleep one last time.

Re-

And he joined his friend in the familiar dreamscape, forever.

FLUFF + HURT/COMFORT ENDING (Adri)

Another night, another dream.

Circles, in circles, I go around,
Looking for a reason that can't be found.

Bdubs kicked his legs back and forth, feeling his shoes skim the water below him just barely. He shifted to the side, trying to get comfy while he waited for Scar. His communicator pushed up on where it was hidden in his pocket, and he pulled it out, tossing it from one hand to the other idly.

Scar was taking a while tonight. By now, he usually would have arrived.

Circles and circles, without a sound,
My tears can't be heard when they hit the ground.

Bdubs glanced at his communicator, scrolling through the tab list. Scar was on. Was he busy or something...? This never happened. The dream ran smoothly: Scar arrived. They talked for a while. Then the dream ended, and Bdubs went back to the waking world, waiting for night to arrive again.

What was happening here?

Circles, in circles, I go around
Looking for something that can't be found.

Bdubs looked down at his communicator, and he couldn't help but feel that things were going off script for a reason. On his communicator, he opened a direct message with Scar, fingers slowly typing out a message.

<Bdoubleo100> can we talk?
<Bdoubleo100> please
<GoodTimeWithScar Sure
<GoodTimeWithScar> I'm at my base
<GoodTimeWithScar> Magical village

And, for the first time in his dreams, he stood up from his sitting spot on the dock, donning his elytra and flying straight up into the starry sky.

Circles, in circles, without a sound,
My words can't be heard when the fear surrounds my heart.

Hermitcraft looked different at night. Hermits didn't tend to pay much attention to unique lighting, as most of the time he was there to turn it back to day quickly. Plus, mobs tended to spawn in dark areas and blow the precious builds up. A lot of the bases were shrouded in darkness, with the familiar glow of sea lanterns being what lit up some portions. Other areas were just completely dark. It was odd to see.

While Bdubs was pretty familiar with the Big Dig--Scar's current base--he didn't actually know Scar's starter base that well. He vaguely remembered seeing the tips of buildings squished in the middle of Grian and Mumbo's Hobbit Holes, so he turned to go that way.

So come take my hand and
Come make me feel what it's like
When love comes alive

As he neared the general direction, he immediately noticed that Scar's village stood out. It was beautifully lit up with a mixture of lanterns and hidden lighting, and the entire village seemed to glow with a warm light, which helped with the magic feeling it was supposed to give off. There was a crystal-like structure in the very center, reminiscent of Scar's diamond throne.

Don't think about that. You'll just torture yourself.

And one day I wish that
I won't keep hiding the truth,

Scar sat on the rim of the crystal, waving to Bdubs as he landed next to him. "Hey, Bdubs! What's the occasion? It's night--what happened to the mighty sleep king?"

His smile faded when he saw the look on his friend's face. "Hey...are you okay?"

Bdubs's initial reaction was his default response: "Of course." He'd force a smile and quickly change the subject.

But I'm just a fool,
Oh, I'm such a fool...

But...Scar hadn't appeared tonight. This dream was going off course. And there was a reason for that--he was sure of it. So, he decided to go with the flow and tell Scar the full truth.

Repeating, repeating,
I'm dying, I'm breathing,

"...I miss you," he said earnestly. "I've been drowning myself in the past for so long, just because it's easier to face than the present. You're not there to help me along. And it's harder to get by now, without you. And..." he took a deep breath. "the truth is...I've been lying to myself about your passing ever since it happened. That's not what you'd want, is it?"

Repeating, repeating,
I'm crying, I'm healing,

He didn't let Scar answer before continuing. "You would want me to move on. To heal. But it's hard, Scar. I don't know if I can do it."

Repeating, repeating,
I'm dying, I'm breathing,

Scar was silent for a long time, and Bdubs was worried he said something wrong. But, after a few seconds of tense silence:

"You can expect things to go back to normal immediately after. If they ever will. Healing takes time. It might take weeks, even years, but...I've found the best way to hold on is to tell yourself that things will always get better."

Repeating, repeating,
I'm crying, I'm healing,

He held out his arms, and Bdubs crashed into his hug, almost feeling his presence there. He hadn't felt that before. Scar seemed more real in this scene than he ever did in Bdubs's dreams. He could feel his warmth as Scar pulled him closer in the hug, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

Re-

Even in his dreams, Scar managed to be a good friend to Bdubs and help him through hard times.