Word Count : 2140

Ships : Architect Poly, ZIT Poly and Doc/Bdubs/Ren poly

Warning : Mentions of a fight, mild violence, sex mention, poly relationship talk. Strong language.

Plot : I watched an Amazing World Of Gumball clip about Tobias, Darwin and gumball and banana joe all seeing who's mom was the best. So I decided why not do it with our Hermits? Except different twists and such.
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Grian and Iskall both headed over to a small island somewhere far off from where most Hermits had traveled before. The two Architect's both had several things on their minds, such as proving why Mumbo Jumbo, their boyfriend was the best.

Tango and Impulse also had the exact same thing to prove, as well as Bdubs and Doc. The six had practically been at each others throats arguing over the statement when it had come up one night. But of course, they had kept it from their partners since they were innocent. Mumbo, Ren and Zedaph had no idea they were even meeting now a days to have small photo battles of images they had managed to capture of their partners and such.

Hell, the six even bet diamonds on this shit. Though none of them would ever admit that the competition of best boyfriend had gone too far.

As usual, Grian and Iskall both landed down on a fairly well sized island where Tango, Impulse, Doc and Bdubs were waiting.

"Gentlemen, are we ready?" Grian asked as soon as the others were in earshot.

Doc gave Grian a cocky looking smirk. "Of course."

Tango grinned. "Ready for anything you throw at us."

Impulse cut in, standing beside Tango with his arms crossed over his chest. "You all should just give up now. Tango and I got some good ones this time."

Bdubs merely laughed. "That's what you think!"

Iskall and Grian both joined the Mini circle. "Well-" Iskall started. "-Only way to find out is to start."

The six all then pulled out two stacks of photos each, then got ready to draw.

The categories were, cuteness, sexiness, badassness, innocence and sleepiness. BECAUSE THESE SIX ARE FUCKING DORKS DAMN IT

Immediately each pile was filled. Iskall and Grian both mainly placed their photos in sleepiness and cuteness, and some stray photos went into badassness.

Doc and Bdubs mainly placed their photos in innocence and cuteness, along with some stray photos going into sexiness.

Tango and Impulse placed their photos in almost every pile. But the majority of the photos went into badassness and sexiness.

Finally once all the photos of each boyfriend had been placed, the groups all started to discuss which photos stood out the most. Of course with the majority of the discussion being argumentative because they all went into  p r o t e c c  mode.

It was usually Doc, Iskall and Impulse being the most aggressive argumentative and Grian, Bdubs and Tango calming their partners down so a fight didn't break out.

This went on for another 3 hours, just picking and deciding which photos were the best. A top three for each of the contestants.

Person Switch
Ren had been working all day under the hot sun, so when he finally got a private chat from Zedaph asking if he wanted to hang out with him and Mumbo for awhile, Ren gladly dropped everything and went to the shopping district.

When he got there, Zedaph and Mumbo were both sitting at a picnic table, talking.

Zedaph then waved the wolf hybrid over. "Rendog, over here!"

The wolf hybrid smiled brightly and headed over, taking a seat. The picnic table was a circular one with three benches to sit on. Ren of course to the empty bench to complete the circle. "Hey guys, what's up?"

Zedaph merely smiled. "Nothing much, just wanted to hang out with two Hermits I usually can't hang out with."

Ren nodded. "Ah right, because of Tango and Impulse?"

Zedaph nodded. "Yeah, you could say that."

Mumbo chuckled. "Most certainly. I love Iskall and Grian but they can get protective as well as competitive."

Zedaph joined in on the mild laughter. "Yeah I'm sure. Tango and Impulse are protective but they understand boundaries.

Ren placed his hands on the table, intertwining his fingers. "Dang Zed. I'm betting you top then."

Zedaph blushed ever so slightly. "At times, yes I will top either of the two."

Mumbo chuckled. "Wow, that's pretty impressive."

Zedaph looked at the two other Hermits. "So, my guess is you both don't top much."

Ren blushed, his ears going down slightly on his head. "Possibly."

Mumbo merely laughed. "Not often, but why would I when Iskall and Grian take care of me? Besides I'd say we don't get very much into sex."

Ren perked up slightly. "Really?" He looked at Mumbo. "Iskall and Grian?"

Mumbo looked at the wolf hybrid. "Mhm. What about you, Bdubs and Doc? I'd think they'd be pretty rough given their personalities."

Ren huffed. "The sex is rough, but afterwards is heaven. Doc and Bdubs prioritize a good aftercare."

Zedaph's eyes widened. "Wow, didn't think Doc to be the snuggle type. Bdubs I can see but didn't expect Doc."

Ren grinned. "He's all big and tough on the outside, but on the inside he's a sweetheart."

"I always knew Doc was always projecting a scarier looking side to him." Mumbo commented lightly.

"Well what about Grian and Iskall? They both project nice personalities. Their approachable." Zedaph added.

Ren piped up. "But they both started a war. Which couldn't be a healthy relationship to be in."

Mumbo stuttered for a second. "Both Grian and Iskall fought for things they believed in or wanted. And our relationship is fine, perfectly healthy. There's nothing bad about it."

Zedaph put his hands up. "Hey man, I get your message. It's just surprising to see someone so nice hanging out with two mischievous people."

Mumbo laughed. "You obviously haven't seen me on 24 hours of sleep then."

Ren looked at Mumbo. "I sometimes forget that your 23, Grian's 26 and Iskall's 29. I think my brain has tried to convince me on multiple occasions that because your the maturest of the Architect's you're the oldest."

The Redstoner smiled sheepishly. "Oh wow. Well I thank you for the compliment."

Zedaph let out a laugh. "Well on a more serious... we would all say that we are mature, right?" When he got two nods from the other two Hermits he continued.  "So speaking of our boyfriends... what do you think they're doing right now?"

Ren sighed dreamily. "Probably being all serious and stuff. Working on his base and what not."

Mumbo giggled, smiling as he put his head down. "Those two are both probably setting up one of their pranks."

Zedaph blinked, then thought on the question some more. "Honesty, Tango and Impulse are both probably being smart and what not."

Person Switch
While their boyfriends were sitting peacefully in the shopping district, the other pairs were all just having a fist fight on their meeting island. Because of course it somehow escalated to that.

Doc was fighting Iskall, Tango was fighting Bdubs and Grian was fighting Impulse.

The six all were done trying to solve their problem with words. This of course was not a good way to discuss things, but it was better on a private island than in the view of all the other Hermits.

And of course none of the six would say it had gone too far.

Time Skip
Ren, Mumbo and Zedaph's conversation had shifted from boyfriends and relationships to hot sauce. Dont ask please- I was up till 1 just thinking on how Mumbo would chug a thing of hot sauce and not die-

Zedaph leaped from his seat. "Alright, I just asked Cleo to bring a bottle of her hottest hot-" he stopped mid sentence, suddenly seeing Doc, Bdubs, Impulse, Tango, Grian and Iskall all walking up. The six looked beaten and bruised.

Immediately Ren and Mumbo had gotten to their feet as well. "What happened?! It looks like you all got jumped!" Ren exclaimed.

Bdubs chuckled, sounding mildly nervous and unsure. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Heh, uh, jumped? Sure, I-"

Tango jumped in, interrupting Bdubs. "-I would call it a mob attack."

Mumbo observed over each of the six Hermits. He watched as some of the six fidgeted where they stood, while some looked mildly pissed off. "What kind of mob manages to gain the intellect to band together and attack six powerful Hermits with all different types of quirks, powers, feats, etcetera?" He questioned, taking obvious note of Grian's bruised eye which would obviously go black.

Doc immediately blurted out. "Zombies!"

"Hoard of em!" Impulse quickly added.

"From a spawner!" Iskall stated.

Zedaph opened his mouth to retort, but he was cut off by Zombie Cleo landing down. "Did someone order three bottles of Death Sauce?" She announced.

When Zed's, Rens and Mumbo's attention all directed to her, the other six Hermits breathed an invisible sigh of relief.

Then Grian blurted out. "Wait Death Sauce?!"

Cleo grinned, pulling out a bottle of hot sauce. "Introducing my own recipe of hot sauce, Death Sauce. Inspired by the World's Hottest Chip." She stated proudly.

Doc shuddered. "Ren, babe. Why?" He asked.

Ren shrugged. "Cuz we somehow ended our conversation with hot sauce before you all came up."

Cleo pulled out three spoons and handed one to each hermit that asked for a taste. "Alright boys, you ready?"

Bdubs and Impulse both looked relatively worried for their partner. Impulse spoke up. "Zedaph, are you sure that's a good idea?"

Zedaph looked back at his partners. "Not really. But then again I ain't losing this challenge to a spoon."

"Wait did you bet on this or something?"

Eyes turned to the second tallest hermit who simply smiled innocently. "No bet, but just whoever loses the challenge owes the winner a favor."

The other six watched in anticipation. Tango pulled out some bread and milk from his inventory. Some of the others got ready to douce their lover with water buckets if they needed.

Cleo went and poured the death sauce into each Hermits spoon, filling it so they had a spoon full. "Alright. You three ready? If you are, go right ahead."

Mumbo, Zedaph and Ren all looked at each other. Mumbo looked confident, Ren looked mildly unsure and Zed looked determined.

Mumbo smiled innocently before putting the entire spoon in his mouth and consuming the hot sauce. Iskall and Grian both looked startled. "Mumbo?!" Grian asked, panicking.

Not wanting to be bested, Zedaph did the same. Tango and Impulse both looked like they had a heart attack.

Ren had only consumed half of the spoon full he was given.

A pause.

Mumbo appeared to be deep in thought, Zedaph's face had gone red and Ren had started to tear up.

Zedaph was the first to breathe heavily and speak. "Holy... fuck."

Ren set his spoon down and put his hands to his head. "Oh shi..."

Mumbo took a deep breath. "Wow, I can really feel the sting in that." He simply stared at the ground, licking his lips.

Ren shut his eyes, wiping the tears from them as Zedaph started to fan himself with his hands. The ZIT member looked at the Architect. "How are you so calm?!"

Mumbo didn't reply. He stared at the ground as the other six Hermits moved in around their partners.

Bdubs went in front of Ren, placing his hands on his partners shoulders. "Ren, you good?" Doc had gone to Ren's side with a bucket of water.

Tango had gone up to Zedaph, going behind him as Impulse went to the front of him. Holding bread and milk.

Iskall and Grian were on either side of Mumbo, looking at their partner, their eyes full of worry.

Another pause.

Ren's ears had pressed against his head. "Ok, ok, give me the bucket, please." He reached for the water bucket which Doc swiftly handed him.

"Give me the-the-the bucket and bread please." Zedaph shut his eyes tightly, tears welling up in them. He then reached for the bucket of milk and bread Tango had, which the fire player handed him as well.

Eyes drifted to the Redstoner and his own partners, who both looked panicked. Though Mumbo looked relaxed, he then gave an innocent smile. "That was pretty good."

Cleo grinned. "Two stacks of diamonds for you to chug the whole bottle, MJ."

Mumbo turned his head to Cleo, his red eyes flashing with determination. "Ok-"

"NO!" Grian and Iskall shouted.

(Fin)

Zedaph, Mumbo and Ren : *Consumes hot sauce*
Ren : *Breaks into tears*
Zedaph : *Turns into a tomato*
Mumbo : *Chugs the whole bottle*
Cleo :  :0
The Architects :  :0
The ZIT members :  :0
Doc, Bdubs and Ren :  :0
Mumbo :  :)