|=====|=====|

Zed: If you hear weird noises in the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance.

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Zed: What exactly are you doing?

Joe, surrounded by fifteen cats: Building a family.

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Zed: We forget but we do NOT forgive.

Pearl: I'm wandering around hating bitches, can't remember why.

|=====|=====|

Zed: But be careful, unknown men aren't allowed to step foot in the village

Scar: But I've been standing here for five minutes and nothing happened?

Zed: Strange.

- Ten Years Later -

Scar, now knowing he's genderqueer: Motherfucker -

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Ex: I'm going on a date.

NPG *mumbling*: Good for you

Ex: You mean good for us, I'm picking you up at 8.

NPG: ...

Ex:

Zed *having witnessed everything*: I think you broke them.

|=====|=====|

Zed: Hi, I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese.

Hels: Sorry we only take cash or card.

BadTimes: HELSKNIGHT, MAY I SPEAK WITH YOU PRIVATELY-

|=====|=====|

Impulse: *sends a TikTok at 3 am*

Zed: *responds*

Impulse:....*goes to his base* GO TO BED.

Zed: YOU GO TO BED.

|=====|=====|

Beef: Alright Ren you need to go to bed

Ren: [holding a stuffed animal] Mr Snuffles says that if I go to bed now we'll all die

Zed: Mr Snuffles what the fuck

|=====|=====|

Zed: I'm having a hard time deciding which would be a good fit for my family. Adoption is so difficult.

Doc: We've been here for HOURS. Please, just pick a plant already.

|=====|=====|

Biffa: yeah I give up. I'm tired

Zed: quick, get the emergency supply!

Tango: *brings Jellie into the room* here

Biffa: AND I AM BACK BABY LET'S GOOO

|=====|=====|

Zed: I accidentally indulged in too much 'Me time'

Zed: Turns out, I've been reported missing for eight months and presumed dead by most locals and national authorities.

|=====|=====|

X: rule one of being a Hermit: use whatever tools or tricks that are necessary to stay ahead of your enemies

Hypno: rule two of being a Hermit: never give out free information. that will get you killed

Bdubs: rule three of being a Hermit: even though teamwork is important, if you're sure you can handle something, do it

True: got that?

Zed, writing "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" on his notes: yeah yeah for sure

|=====|=====|

Zed: I'll be the first one to admit that this did not go according to plan.

False: And I will be the first one to admit that the plan was written in crayon.

|=====|=====|

Iskall: We need to distract these guys

Jevin: Leave it to me

Jevin: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Mumbo, Grian and Etho: *Immediately begin arguing*

Zed, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

|=====|=====|

Cleo: you flirt and kiss and for what? love??? pathetic.

Zed: to level up my charisma stat.

Keralis: ah, a gamer. you may pass.

|=====|=====|

Etho, to Zed: If your eyes start hurting, what you've got to do is lay down and close them for a while... now that's a sexy little manoeuvre that those in the medical field like to call "sleep."

|=====|=====|

Zed: *hits Hels in the head with a ball*

Stress three hours later, trying to coax him down from the tree: It's okay it's gone you can come down now-

Zed, still shaking: it's not gone, it's waiting.

|=====|=====|

Cub: i just came here to let you know that whatever you're experiencing sudden calm it's because i took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill.

Zed: thank you.

|=====|=====|

Grian: [talking in Galactic]

Zed:

Zed: mMM, CHICKEN

|=====|=====|

Zed: Wels, I don't think your circle of death is working.

Wels: Why do you say that?

Zed: I'm standing in it, and I'm not dead yet.

|=====|=====|

Zed: Your problem is you've got no common sense.

Gem: I have PLENTY of common sense!

Mumbo: You just choose to ignore it.

|=====|=====|

Zed: And I couldn't have done it without my sidekick!

Tfc: ... No offence, but you're the sidekick.

|=====|=====|

xB: What else do you have in there?

Zed: Oh, uhh, gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue, and uhh... Paperclips. Big ones. You know, just, eh, office supplies.

|=====|=====|

Today's question:

'Chaos' is the answer, what is the question?

So it's been a while. I wasn't planning to take this long of a break but life happened. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, until the next one, bye! ~Mors