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Impulse: Horror is when a fucked up guy looks at you. Comedy is when you look at a fucked up guy.

Tango: What if we're both fucked up and we look at each other?

Impulse: Gay romance.

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Hypno: All fanfiction is funnier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. That's just how it works. That's just facts.

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Stress: Get in there and bust up his date. Show him you care. Ruin his night.

Keralis: You really have a unique take on love.

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Ex: so... wanna get married?

NPG: we aren't even engaged, much less dating... absolutely.

Ex: good, I need the tax benefits.

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Ren, on the phone: Hello, Doc? My hands are stuck in Pringles tubes. Both hands, yes.

Ren: Look, it's not important how I called your number, just send help.

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xB: I told Etho to chill and he said 'I am chill' and I said 'I thought you were Etho'

xB: I dad-joked Etho! I am the revolution!

Etho: Hello revolution, I'm Etho

xB:

xB: A bitter defeat

|=====|=====|

*BadTimes, sitting in a corner*

True: What's up with you?

BadTimes: I taught Tin some modern slang and he won't stop using it.

*Tfc, throwing salt over his shoulder. Locking eyes with BadTimes*

Tfc: Yeet.

BadTimes: What have I created.

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Bdubs: Back in my day, I could walk into a store with 10 diamonds and walk out with 6 porterhouse steaks, 2 chickens, a case of beer, 5 bottles of wine, 2 loaves of bread, and a gallon of milk.

Bdubs: Can't do that today. Too many fucking cameras.

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Zed: Scar!

Scar: Yeah, that's me.....

Mumbo: We thought you were dead!

Scar: Well, you were...gravely mistaken.

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Joe: I know what you're up to, Wels.

Wels: Really? Cause I don't.

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X: Why do I keep you around?

Grian: Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own.

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Gem: I'm going to start a false crime podcast where I explain crimes that never actually happened.

False: I'm going to do the crimes you explain, forcing you into having a true crime podcast.

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Jevin: I'm not being weird. *whispers* Am I being weird?

Hels, also whispering: Yes, and that's coming from me. 

|=====|=====|

Cleo: Who wants to make fifty diamonds?

Pearl: How?

Cleo: I need someone to take the fall.

Pearl: What did you do?

Cleo: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

X, from the other room: Oh my god.

Cleo: ...

X: OH MY GOD!

Pearl: Make it a hundred.

Cleo: Deal.

|=====|=====|

Doc: did you know gatorade and rum go really well together?

Iskall: Doc are you doing depressed alchemy again

Doc: maybe

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Beef: you're gonna hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late.

Biffa: joke's on you, i'm gonna hate myself in the morning no matter what.

|=====|=====|

NPG: yeah, so he nearly killed me.

Impulse: why are you looking up

NPG: I NEED TO CRY BUT MY MASCARA WAS 20 POUNDS

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Cub: I don't need to buy anything on Black Friday, I just want to get in a fist fight at bed bath and beyond to feel alive.

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Today's Question:

What are your predictions for 2022?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, until the next one, bye! ~Mors