|=====|=====|

Hels: Yes I am smart.

Hels: Yes I am stupid.

Hels: It's called being flexible.

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Stress: This wasn't my idea-

False: Yes it was

False: [pulls out a diary] March 4th, Stress came up with the idea to-

Stress: -Alright! Fine! Jeez it was me

Stress:

Stress: Why do you have a diary?

False: To keep secrets from my computer

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Tfc: What the hell are you doing?

Zed: [Eating ramen from his helmet]

Zed: Why is it never "HOW the hell are you doing?"

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X: I apologize for what I said last week, yesterday, this morning, and for what I said four minutes ago, and what I'm about to say.

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Beef: We tried to play Never Have I Ever, but we had to change it to Only Have I Occasionally, so some of us-

Beef: [glances at Doc, who's absolutely wasted]

Beef: Wouldn't die from alcohol poisoning.

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Tango: you know, you can solve your problems without violence.

Ex: ok, but consider; I'm really, really good at violence. 

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Gemini: So you're gonna take your dominant hand, which is your stronger one and-

Hypno: Wait, if this is my dominant hand, does that make my other hand my submissive hand?

Gemini:

Gemini: Do you ever think before you speak?

|=====|=====|

xB: I am not a murderer. Okay, technically I am. Not even technically. Literally. But I refuse to be defined by the ONE time I murdered somebody!

xB: Okay, it was more than one

|=====|=====|

Cub: I told you, I don't hate you. I mean, sometimes I wanna kill you, but just like in the normal way.

Biffa: I only want to kill you in the normal way too.

|=====|=====|

Ren, holding a deck of cards: Who wants a tarot reading!?

Bdubs: Those are Pokemon cards

Ren, holding a card: You got a Squirtle, it means fuck you

|=====|=====|

Pearl: Joe why are there little handprints on the ship?

Joe: Scar, why are there little handprints on the ship?

Scar: Because I have little hands

Joe: Because he has little hands

|=====|=====|

Doc: So maybe I'm not as straight as I thought I was

Etho: You thought you were straight?

|=====|=====|

Iskall: Hey, if I ask for dating advice will you promise not to be weird?

Keralis: I promise

Iskall: There's this guy in Boatem-

Keralis: You can do better

|=====|=====|

BadTimes, on his phone at 2 a.m.: Jeez, a woman in North Dakota strangled her friend to death. Can you imagine just snapping like that?

Cleo, trying to sleep: Yes.

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Mumbo: I hate you

Grian: You love me

Mumbo: I can multi-task

|=====|=====|

Impulse: Hitting the gym to relieve stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people who caused the stress to begin with.

|=====|=====|

Wels annoyed at Ex for some reason:

Ex: C'mon, talk to me. Is this because I slept with your sibling?

Wels: YOU WHAT?!

Ex: Fuck, it wasn't that.

|=====|=====|

Jevin: The guy behind me in court for my hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM... He is my new hero.

|=====|=====|

Today's Question:

Favourite Minecraft block?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for 50k reads! Until the next one, Bye! ~Mors