|=====|=====|

Wels: Why is the bathroom floor covered in water?!?

Bdubs: We used a bath bomb.

Wels: Why would that splash water out of the tub?

[earlier]

Bdubs, holding a pipe bomb above the bathtub: Everybody, get ready to run.

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Scar: you'll never truly know someone well enough to marry them until you've seen them struggle financially, grieve a lost one, or witness them while they're sick.

Tfc: truly amazing advice.

Bdubs: first date ideas; freeze their assets, kill one of their loved ones, poison their fucking food. 

|=====|=====|

BadTimes: Why does everyone keep assuming we're a couple?

Bdubs: [sitting next to him, playing with his hair] Beats me.

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: Name something that immediately makes you like someone .

Hels: When they reply to my sarcasm with better sarcasm.

Jevin: Finally my talents can be appreciated.

|=====|=====|

Tango: So here's the plan. I go in. I start setting people on fire. And we see where that takes us.

Bdubs: No.

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: What's up, guys? Today we're going to do another unboxing video!

Bdubs: *enters graveyard*

|=====|=====|

Ren: here's my book on all of Doc's moves and strategies to beat him.

Bdubs: why are some of the pages written in crayon?

Ren: I started compiling it when we were kids.

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: You ever met anybody you didn't kill?

Etho: Well, I haven't killed you.

|=====|=====|

Cleo: YOU SAID HE WAS HERE!

Zed: HE WAS HERE! I DONT KNOW WHERE HE WENT!

[meanwhile]

Bdubs: sorry I tripped on the status chamber, where were you btw

X: you just saved me from losing UNO against Ex

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: I think you make a lot of people very nervous.

Grian: that's because they're all a bunch of bitch-ass white boys.

Bdubs:

Bdubs: I hate to break this to you, but you're also a bitch-ass white boy.

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: Doc is a fucking asshole.

Mumbo: You know, there are other people out there who don't like Doc. You're not that special.

Bdubs: Who?

Mumbo: Who what?

Bdubs: Who doesn't like Doc?

Bdubs: I want names.

Doc, walking in the door: I have a list of every single person who despises me. It goes on for about 300 pages.

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: This is such a bad idea.

Beef: Then why are you coming along?

Bdubs: One of us needs to be able to talk them out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

|=====|=====|

False: What does it mean when you have a bunch of crows hanging out in your backyard? Asking for a friend.

Bdubs: It means you have new friends!

False: Are these good new friends or "death is coming" sort of new friends?

Bdubs: Yes!

|=====|=====|

Impulse: Well, onto Plan 2.

Bdubs: Plan B, you mean?

Biffa: That would imply we only have twenty-six plans.

|=====|=====|

Hypno: *to Jevin* I may only have a couple of drinks in me but I love you

Bdubs: *to Jevin* I'm on my first drink so you're still a bitch to me

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: It must be so nice to be rich instead of having to develop a personality.

Keralis: Shut up.

Bdubs: Buy my silence.

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: I know you said you wanted nothing for your birthday but I couldn't resist.

Bdubs: *hands xB a box*

xB: *opens box to find it empty*

xB: Oh my god nothing! Just what I wanted! Thank you!

Bdubs: You're welcome.

Bdubs, internally: Fuck, it escaped!

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: okay, so the best we to get out of escape room is to break as many things as possible, and then they'll eventually let us out.

Cub: I don't think that works for jail, Bdubs.

|=====|=====|

Stress: YOU FUCKING BASTARD!! I TRUSTED YOU AND YOU FUCKED ME OVER!! YOU WERE MY FUTURE!!!

Iskall: I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER FELL IN LOVE WITH A LYING, CHEATING SON OF A BITCH LIKE YOU!!

Bdubs, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're done playing now-

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: Since when did you start caring about other people's feelings?

Joe: Hm ... well, I laughed when Cleo got a shock from those broken Christmas tree lights so... it was sometime after that?

|=====|=====|

Ex: I am in control of my emotions

Bdubs: You ain't in control of shit

Ex: I've controlled them

|=====|=====|

Today's Question:

If the sun is shining in the middle of the night and the flavour of green is book, how many chairs does it take for you to do a handstand on your brain?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, until the next one, bye! ~Mors