|=====|=====|

Iskall: WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?! YOU DIDNT COME HOME!!!

Stress: I-I was at a party!!! Smoking weed!!!

Iskall: Don't lie, you were at the LIBRARY you fucking nerd

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Grian: The cow???

Mumbo: What?

Scar: G, W H Y?

|=====|=====|

Wels: *committing another act of treason* YOU'RE ALL DISAPPOINTMENTS.

Wels: YOU KNOW WHO HASN'T BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT YET? HELS.

Wels: BECAUSE I EXPECT IT TO BE A BITCH AND IT ALWAYS IS.

|=====|=====|

[shows a picture of his father and a dog]

Ren: Is that your dad?

Cub: Yep! That's him and Cub.

Ren: He.... named the dog after you?

Cub: Haha, no. He named me after the dog.

|=====|=====|

Beef: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

Etho: Guys, we lost Bdubs.

Beef: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

|=====|=====|

Hypno: I didn't want to do this, but it's the only way we can get the money.

Jevin: you'd make a decent prostitute.

Hypno: I'd make an amazing prostitute, but I was actually talking about this guy I know.

|=====|=====|

Zed: If I was thrown into prison would you help me escape?

Impulse: No.

Zed: Well you don't have to say it that fast! Think about it. Let's try again.

Zed: If I was thrown into prison would you-

Impulse: No.

Zed: You son of a bitch.

|=====|=====|

Doc: Wow. This parking job is as straight as I am.

Bdubs: I don't know whether to acknowledge the fact that you just came out to me, or that you just insulted my parking.

|=====|=====|

X, to Joe: You can't get everybody here to agree to the same thing. We couldn't even agree on a theme for our summer barbecue.

False: It ended up being 1980s Arabian Nights Under The Sea Harry Potter.

|=====|=====|

Cleo: I am not 'full of hate' as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

|=====|=====|

xB: There's only one way to decide... rock, paper, scissors!

Keralis: [scissors]

xB: [rock]

Keralis: ( •́ ‸ •̀ )

xB: No no, don't cry, you won!! This rock is soft!!!

|=====|=====|

Joe: Caffeine no longer gives me the rush I need to finish work.

Joe: So instead, I have Cleo periodically text me "We need to talk" to give me the right amount of fear and adrenaline to keep me going.

|=====|=====|

Biffa, in a taxi, answering his phone: Yes, hello?

Tfc: You drank a lot.

Biffa: That's why I called a taxi. If I had been sober, I would've driven.

Tfc: Where are you going?

Biffa: Where do you think? I'm going home.

Tfc: You were drinking in your own base.

Tfc: Are you that drunk?

Biffa:

Biffa, to the taxi driver: Sir, where am I going?

|=====|=====|

Tango: I just realized I'll probably never be in a long-term relationship.

BadTimes: Why not?

Tango: Well, last time I dated someone, the person said they loved me and I answered "ew, feelings"

|=====|=====|

Ex: I read that capsaicin makes your mouth feel like it's burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat, and menthol works by doing the same thing to cold.

Hels: So if I eat a habañero pepper and then chew a bunch of breath mints they'll cancel each other out and I'll be fine.

[later]

Hels: Hey, guess what hellfire tastes like.

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: When's your birthday?

Grian: Why, so you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

|=====|=====|

Today's Question:

A, B or C?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until the next one, bye! ~Mors