|=====|=====|

BadTimes: I bet underneath it all Hels' a sweetheart.

Ex: Oh no, underneath it all it is pure evil.

BadTimes: Ex, no one's pure evil. I mean yeah, some people have a hard outer shell, but inside everybody has a creamy center.

Ex: There are plenty of people here, on this particular world, who are hard on the outside and hard on the inside!

BadTimes: So they have more of a nougaty center?

Hels: BadTimes, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.

|=====|=====|

Hels, drunk: Ex, guess what?

Ex: What?

Hels: I have a crush on you.

Ex:

Ex: Hels, we've been married for three years.

|=====|=====|

Ex: I told Badtimes his ears turn red when he lies and now I can tell if he's really lying.

Hels: What? Why?

Ex: Watch this.

Ex: BadTimes, do you love us?

BadTimes: *covering his ears* No.

|=====|=====|

BadTimes: Day 200 of secretly living inside Ex's place, they do not suspect a thing. I can pull off a whole year if this goes on so smoothly.

Ex: BadTimes...you're basically my child and you have been monologuing that all this time.

BadTimes:...I feel like they are on to me.

|=====|=====|

Ex: I have an idea.

X: Does it involve breaking the law?

Hels: By now don't you think that's a given?

Joe: He was just trying to be optimistic.

Ex: Don't bother.

|=====|=====|

Hels: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately"? Why are elephants more advanced than us?

Wels: We do have a specific noise, it sounds like this: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

|=====|=====|

Ex: So... hypothetically... how does one make a date more interesting?

Ren: Um, sometimes acting sort of mysterious can be intriguing?

Ex: Got it, thanks.

*later*

Hels: So, where are we going?

Ex: None of your fucking business.

|=====|=====|

False: So? Did you kiss it?

Ex: No, the moment wasn't right. Look, Hels could actually be my future partner. I want our first kiss to be amazing.

Cleo: Aww, Ex, that's so sweet. You chickened out like a little bitch!

|=====|=====|

BadTimes: Why are you like this?

Hels: The better question is why aren't YOU like this? I raised you! You should be EXACTLY like this!

|=====|=====|

Scar: I just need to hear those three words out of you

BadTimes: I love you

Scar: Try again

BadTimes, grumbling: ...I will behave

|=====|=====|

Doc: you disgust me.

Ex: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don't care.

|=====|=====|

Grian, on the phone: so how's it going?

Ex: well apparently Hels' parents don't know it's omni yet so I have to pretend to be just a friend

Grian: what? So they think their straight kid just showed up with its bi roommate for Christmas?

Ex: no... they also think I'm straight

Grian: have they ever met a gay person?

|=====|=====|

Hels, watching it snow: The world really is just a plate of spaghetti, and God has just given us parmesan.

|=====|=====|

Hels: Beef, is Ex...you know...

Hels:*cuffs pants*

Hels: *finger guns*

Beef: What...?

Hels: ...

Etho: Yes. Yes they are.

|=====|=====|

Ex: *annoyed* Please somebody kill me

Hels: But then I'd miss you!

Ex: Alright, I'll live

|=====|=====|

Bdubs: What do you need?

Ex: Advice.

Bdubs: That coat HAS to go. I've been wanting to say something for MONTHS.

Ex:

Bdubs: ...It's not about the coat, is it?

|=====|=====|

Hels: Can I say something?

Ex: Sure

Hels: Your smile is the prettiest smile I've ever seen

Ex, blushing: Can I say something too?

Hels: Of course

Ex: This smile only exists when I'm with you

Biffa: I think I'm going to throw up

|=====|=====|

BadTimes: did you know i snuffed an autobot?

Cub: we know, you've said it everyday

BadTimes, pulling down a 200 slide powerpoint going into detail about Biffa's death: i'm so glad you asked to hear about it

|=====|=====|

Hels: If I have to clean one more bloodstain from this carpet, I'm going to kill someone.

xB: Sounds a little counterproductive.

|=====|=====|

Ex: I didn't lie! I was writing fiction with my mouth.

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: Okay, what's a good neutral way to address everyone?

Ex: Cowards

Impulse: No

Hels: Epic gamers

Keralis: No!

BadTimes: Mothers and fuckers of the court

Stress: NO!!!

|=====|=====|

Hels: listen to me TFC

Hels: in this world it is yeet or be yeeted

TFC: I am begging you, please stop talking

|=====|=====|

Ex: Ow! Hey, don't I get any anesthesia?

Zed: The first and second time that I stitch your wounds closed? Certainly.

Tango: But by the third time you rip your stitches, I feel inclined to support your body's right to its natural outrage and discomfort.

Ex: Hypno! Zed and Tango are torturing me! On purpose!

Hypno: Good! I hope it really fucking hurts!

|=====|=====|

Hels: I need an extension for the assignment.

Jevin: You cannot-

Hels: I have a valid excuse this time!

Hels, taking out of nowhere a pile of papers: I was busy writing an 85-page speech on why Wels deserves the world and is the best hermit ever born.

Jevin:

Jevin: Go on, I'm listening.

|=====|=====|

Ex: I have no fear.

Iskall: What if one day you woke up and BadTimes was taller than you?

Ex: ...

Ex: I have one fear.

|=====|=====|

Today's Question:

... Actually, you know what I'm bored of asking you guys questions, do you have any questions for me? (And I mean ANY. I'll answer them as a 5000 read special.)

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until the next one, bye! ~Mors