|=====|=====|

Jevin, pointing at Pearl: that child is morally grey at best

|=====|=====|

Pearl: I need life advice. 

Hels, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

|=====|=====|

X: Any last words, Exy?

Ex: May thy fat head be set upon by sea spiders and torn asunder, leaving only thine eyes to witness the humiliation!

Pearl (spectating): Ooh, pretty good last words...

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: Why are you eating tofu?

Tango: I'm trying to convince Pearl I'm a vegan

Mumbo: Why?

Tango: I've been stealing chicken from her fridge and if I'm vegan, she can't accuse me of stealing it

Mumbo: Why not just buy your own chicken?

Tango: this is much more fun, watch

Pearl: Okay! I have had enough! WHO THE HELL! IS EATING MY GOD DAMN CHICKEN!?

|=====|=====|

Keralis: [creeping behind Pearl to stab her]

Pearl, loudly : I hope no one is about to attack me from behind because I'm thinking about making cookies later.

Keralis pausing :

Keralis: ...what kind?

|=====|=====|

Pearl: Gods give me patience.

Joe: I think you mean "Gods give me strength".

Pearl, looking at Grian and NPG: If the Gods gave me strength everyone would be dead.

|=====|=====|

Pearl: how are you always so chill?

NPG: *on anti-depressants, weed, denial & and a random pill it found on the bathroom floor* vitamins 

|=====|=====|

Stress, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- 

Tfc, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? 

Pearl, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. 

Hypno, appalled: Call the exorcist.

|=====|=====|

False: I've lost my axe :(

Pearl, looking at the axe on her back: I'll help you find it for 20 diamonds

|=====|=====|

Pearl, putting her hands over Iskall's eyes: Guess who! 

Iskall: It's either Pearl or the cold, clammy hands of death. 

Pearl, pulling her hands away: It's Pearl! 

Iskall: Dammit.

|=====|=====|

Etho: Alright, don't panic, but an experiment of mine is loose in the server.

Pearl: What?! What did you release this time?

Grian: And why is Impulse hiding behind the couch?

Etho: Yeah, Imp, don't be ridiculous.

Impulse: You mean that the creature that escaped isn't harmful?

Etho: *Laughs* No. It's just that hiding isn't going to protect you. It will find you.

|=====|=====|

Pearl: You know, every time we have to say "technically it's not murder" it doesn't sound as great as we hope it so.

|=====|=====|

Pearl: I'd like to remind you that Grian has international political immunity.

Doc: The fuck you mean by that????

Pearl: No reason. Just saying. In case we all forgot.

|=====|=====|

Pearl: Be nice to your sister

True: I'm not even nice to you.

|=====|=====|

Cleo: Have you ever heard the expression "Don't judge a book by its cover"? 

Bdubs: No. 

False: What about: "It's what's on the inside that counts"? 

Bdubs: Nuh-uh. 

Pearl: "Looks can be deceiving"? 

Bdubs: Doesn't ring a bell. 

Ren: What's wrong with you?? 

Bdubs: Oh, that one I've heard!

|=====|=====|

Scar: Are you religious? I'd like to introduce you to my religion.

Pearl, sighing: What is your religion?

Scar: [Shows picture of Jellie doing something chaotic]

Pearl: I'm interested...

|=====|=====|

Pearl: Can I ask you for a favour?

BadTimes: I would literally die for you but continue.

Etho: We have got to talk about you starting sentences that way. 

|=====|=====|

Cub: I can't believe you assassinated the mayor!

Wels: Well, "assassinated" implies it was politically motivated. I killed him 'cause he was an ass, so technically it's just murder.

Cub:

Pearl: THAT'S NOT BETTER!

|=====|=====|

Gem: i am a nice person i think. 

Beef: what the fuck? of course you are- 

Gem: BUT. 

Beef: 

Pearl: 

Gem: i think that i'll start throwing rocks at people that are mean to me. 

Beef: 

Pearl: marry me.

|=====|=====|

xB: Sweet dog you got there.

Pearl: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog.

Zed: Still training huh?

Pearl: What do you mean?

xB:

Zed: Never mind

|=====|=====|

Today's question:

Would you rather have a carpeted kitchen or a carpeted bathroom?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, until the next one, bye! ~Mors