|=====|=====|

Mumbo: I want a bf.

Cub: do you mean best friend, boyfriend, or bread feast? because you're being really vague here.

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: It's pretty dark in here.

Ren:

Mumbo: I'm not scared or anything.

Ren:

Mumbo: I mean, who's scared of the dark these days? Not me.

Ren: Mumbo, do you want me to hold your hand?

Mumbo *softly*: Yes, please.

|=====|=====|

Xisuma, teaching Mumbo to hold a guitar: Carry it gently, like a child. Now, you want to hold it by the neck... 

 Mumbo: Like a child, hold it by the neck!

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: What is wrong with you?

BadTimes: Loaded question. Elaborate.

|=====|=====|

Mumbo, first joining hermitcraft: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Keralis: You're like 15 years old

Mumbo: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: You're violent.

False: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

|=====|=====|

Tfc: Hypno proposed a riddle inquiring why the number six fears the number seven. I assume it's because seven is a prime number, and prime numbers can be intimidating.

Mumbo: It's because seven ate nine.

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: I'm hot, I'm tall, I'm queer, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

|=====|=====|

Iskall: Life is meaningless, what is even the point?

Mumbo: What happened?

Joe: We didn't stop at McDonald's.

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: What do I get?

Ex: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death

Mumbo: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one

Ex: It won't be you

Mumbo: I'll get my coat

|=====|=====|

Gem: Mumbo, we need to talk about your last will

Mumbo: What about it?

Cleo: The only thing you wrote down was 'bury me with 7 extra bones to fuck with the archaeologists lol'

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: Pick a card, any card

Stress: Fine

Mumbo: That's my credit card!

Stress: You said any card

|=====|=====|

Wels: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Mumbo: Does anyone in this godforsaken server ever think before they speak?

|=====|=====|

Scar: I don't know, I just kinda feel like we're meant to be together. I mean, just look at how fate throw us at each other!

Mumbo: It's 3 am and you broke in my window. How did you even get here in the first place?

Scar: Fate Mumbo! I just told you! 

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: Oh wow, a surprisingly peaceful domestic moment...

Mumbo: When will it be ruined?

True, shouting: Mumbo!

Mumbo: There it is...

|=====|=====|

Pearl: hey Mumbo? could you do something for me?

Mumbo: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my own dna at the crime scene and take the blame for it if you asked me to

Pearl: great, can you do the dishes?

Mumbo: fuck you and your dishes 

|=====|=====|

Biffa: I'm going to make this really fucking hurt

Mumbo: *Staring blankly at them*

Beef: Why aren't you scared?! We're about to murder you!

Mumbo: I've seen scarier.

Impulse: What the fuck is scarier than being tortured

Mumbo: Have you ever seen Joe play pinball pissed before? Shits terrifying dude.

|=====|=====|

Hypno: Oooh, a train!

Mumbo: We're in a train station, Hyp.

|=====|=====|

Etho: Mumbo, I am questioning your sanity...

Doc: I never questioned it; I knew his sanity was missing from the start.

|=====|=====|

Tango: We might have gotten into a bar brawl in Empires.

Mumbo: Well, that was entirely predictable.

Tango: One of us punched a member.

Zed: Cleo?

Tango: False, actually.

Zed: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

|=====|=====|

xB: I've slept so little I can now officially smell colours.

Mumbo: How are you still alive?!

xB: That's the question I've been asking every day.

|=====|=====|

NPG: When I was younger, I had a crush on a kid in my class, but I didn't know how to deal with it, so I wrote him a letter that just said, 'get out of my school'

Mumbo: That was you?

NPG: That was you!?

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: Didn't you die?!

Hels: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.

|=====|=====|

Grian: Samurais in the past used to collect swords, and sword tsukumogamis have male bodies, which means those samurais were the original harem owners.

Mumbo: ... Gri are you high on your meds again?

|=====|=====|

Jevin, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan??

Jevin: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...

Bdubs: It was you the fuck.

Jevin: It was I the fuck...

Mumbo: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Bdubs: He the fuck.

|=====|=====|

Today's Question:

What is your favourite number?

This book will be uploaded on Saturdays from now on :)

I hope you enjoy this chapter, until the next one, bye! ~Mors