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Etho: We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!

xB: Nope. Don't remember, didn't happen.

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Cleo: Why are you holding hands?

xB: Etho gets nervous, and human contact relieves stress.

Cleo: Oh I thought you were dating or something

xB: No, we are, Etho is just a wreck

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Beef: See you in hell!

xB: Fine! It's a date!

Beef: Wait what

|=====|=====|

xB: I'm gonna go break into the town hall and steal all the potted plants.

Grian: xB, that's a horrible idea! Can I help?

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Doc: das ist alles deine Schuld

xB: I know, I know

Bdubs: You speak German?

xB: No, I just know the phrase 'this is all your fault' in every language

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X: *saves xB's life*

X: So I guess you owe me?

xB: No, you saved me, now i'm your problem.

X: Wha-

xB: God wanted me dead now you get to find out why.

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xB: Thanks for tuning into this episode of 'Tango and xB's Video Diary' where we review hair products!

xB: *sprays hairspray directly into Tango's mouth*

Tango: So right off the bat, this one is not very good

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xB: What mouse walks on two legs?

Mumbo: Mickey

xB: Ok, what duck walks on two legs?

Mumbo: Donald

xB: No, all of them

Mumbo:

Mumbo: This is the last time you make a fool of me in my own house god damnit

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Beef: KERALIS GIVE ME BACK MY DIAMONDS

Keralis: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, LOOSER

xB: Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I'm the youngest member of this group

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Ex, texting: xB... please... it's been fourteen days... please answer us

xB, texting back: Lmao you suck at hide n seek

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xB: Bitch

Hels: Still lacking elegance, I see. How crude

xB, doing a pirouette: ✨𝓑𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱✨

Hels: How the fuck did you just say that out loud

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False: Ugh, nothing in life is free!

Stress: Love is free.

Joe: Friendship is free!

Bdubs: Sleep is free.

Iskall: Knowledge is free.

Zedaph: Air is free!

xB: Anything is free if you take it without paying.

|=====|=====|

Jevin, trying to teach xB how to cook: You can't just live on goldfish and pasta for the rest of your life!

xB: Are you challenging me?

|=====|=====|

xB, reading a recipe: "Beat three eggs"

Doc: ... at what? Hand-to-hand combat?

xB: Must be. Etho banned swords in the kitchen, remember?

|=====|=====|

Beef: Do you think laundry detergents have different tastes?

xB: They do.

Beef: Why did you say that so quickly and with so much certainty?

|=====|=====|

xB: CAN I GET A HELL YEAH?!

Scar: I don't know, can you?

xB: May I get a hell yeah?

Cub: You should've gotten a hell yeah during lunch.

xB: But I didn't need a hell yeah during lunch!

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Wels: If you listen closely to dishwashers, you can hear the slurping sounds of the hundreds of tongues inside cleaning off the dishes

xB: I'm not a violent person but I'm about to be

|=====|=====|

Hypno: Just so you know, if you go to prison, we are not bailing you out

xB: You won't have to, I'll escape. We all know this

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xB, sleep deprived: Honestly fuck viruses they're not even alive they're just strands of punk ass DNA that go around fucking up us normal and god fearing life forms you don't even have a nucleus you stupid bacteriophage looking horizontally transmitting RNA clump

|=====|=====|

Today's question:

If you could pick any name other than the one you go by what would it be? (Also, tell me what you normally go by so I can see the difference. You don't have to tho.)

I picked the hermit for this using a name wheel. Out of Scar, xB, Grian, Cleo and Zedaph it chose xB. It was Mathsthetic who suggested xB so go and check him out, he writes amazing oneshots on both Wattpad and Quotev. I hope you enjoyed this chapter of incorrect quotes. Until the next one, bye! ~Mors