Word Count : 658

Warnings : Slight persona shipping, cursing, my own headcanons,

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PST- Requests r cool- there will be a reminder at the end of this chapter too. :O
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TFC : You really thought you'd get out of this scotch free? Nah bro, emotional trauma has a fist with your name on it.
GenerikB : *Fear*

Grian : Man, this reminds me of high school.
Zedaph : Grian we're literally hostages to crazy gunmen right now. How does this remind you of high school.
Grian : *Yandere Flashbacks*

Xisuma : I remember when Mumbo used to be 4'9.
Grian : *Spits out drink* W h a t.
Xisuma : Yeah, and now he's the second tallest hermit on the server.
Grian : You're telling me Mumbo wasn't always 6'6?
Xisuma : Yeah, crazy, isn't it? I thought he'd stay small forever. But oh well, people change and get taller as they get older.
Grian : *Exists at 5'6 as a fully grown adult* Bitch-

Wels : *Sigh* My crush won't acknowledge my existence. Were we even meant to be?
Cleo : Wels, what the fuck are you doing on my chandelier? Its 2am-

Zedaph : Hey, did it hurt when you fell?
Tango : Nah, but I scraped my knee crawling out of Hell.
Zedaph :
Tango :
Zedaph : Tango, for one your not from Hell, and two you just fell down six flights of stairs.
Tango : And you haven't?

Iskall : Yeah, Ethos is pretty cool.
Ethos : *Is stuck in an ice block* Iskall please-
Iskall : I can just chill with him all day and not get tired.
Ethos : Iskall I've literally been here for tWO fUCKiNg HoUrs-

Doc : Quick- what's the English word for that one animal thats pointy and moves sideways all the time in a continuous shimmy?
Bdubs : . . .
Ren : Uh. . . Pointy?
Keralis : Its crab.
Doc : THATS IT!

Cub : Do you think there's an after life?
Xisuma : God I hope not- I'm not reliving this fucking nightmare of futile existence.
Cub : Wow okay- do we need to talk some more?

Xeno : Ya know, being evil isn't actually all that bad. Sure it's got some down sides, but honestly I'm just straight up vibing.
BadTimes : We're all sitting in jail cells Dude, how are you vibing?
Xeno : Did I ask for you to ruin this for me? No I think the fuck not.

Grian : When I die, I'm going straight to hell.
False : That's dark. How do you know?
Grian : Oh I know because I'm going there willingly.
False : Why would you do that?
Grian : Because I'm marching down there to fight Sam for all eternity.
False :
Grian :
False : Who's Sam?

Expectation- v
Gem : Pearl, I'm scared. Can I hold your hand?
Pearl : Of course.

Reality- v
Grian : *Screaming*  COME BACK HERR AND GIVE ME LOVE AND AFFECTION YOU LITTLE SHIT!
Mumbo : *Just screaming*

Nobody :
Bdubs @ everyone : You're cruisin' for a bruisin'.

Xisuma : Why hast thou left me, father figure?
Biffa : Dang bro, that's harsh. My father died awhile back.
Impulse : Same.
Xeno : Wait you guys are getting father figures?

Iskall : Bros, the hell is gender again? *Vibes in He/They*

Me : Oh the Hermits are all so mature.
The Hermits :
Keralis : B O O B I E - M O U N T A I N
Xisuma : THEY CAN FUCK OFF-
Bdubs : You could have beefed it up a little-
Cleo : Fuckin' hate you-
Grian : AM I A GIRL-
Keralis : Wanna come see my baby making room?
Ren : GRIAN I NEED YOU TO STROKE ME. STROKE ME GRIAN-
Mumbo : GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE YA FUCKIN' PIECE A' SHIT-
Me : Yep. Perfect little angels. They're great.

Gem : *All teary* Guys, I-
The Hermits : Who the fuck hurt you-

My Pearl : I'm sad, this is sad. I feel so alone.
Canon Pearl : Lol, all ur animals are upside down now-

My Gem : I'm a sweet little bean and you can't tell me otherwise.
Canon Gem : I just joined the fucking mafia-

Pearl's shop doors : *Exist*
Mumbo : So anyways, I start blasting-

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Fin

Ayo requests are cool-