Here We Go Again

Epilogue Part 4: Hallelujah

POV: Nia

I was brooding.

I was brooding and it was Christmas time.

I was brooding, it was Christmas time, and I was making people uneasy with my terrible attitude.

Attempting to remove my frown was hard, especially because I'd been wearing it for ages now. It was a part of me. And that was terrible altogether because, according to all those around me, I should be at the happiest point in my life. To them, I was on an adventure of a lifetime, guaranteeing me life, love, and the missing puzzle piece of my life—but, it seemed, I was the only one that didn't think it was so. I wanted to see it their way, desperately so, but it was just not happening. And I was an absolutely horrible person for failing at it, too.

It started a few months back when I was at the Harper Residence, visiting my parents...

'Despite my doubt at the beginning of this, I must say that I admire your skill and direction, Liam,' my father had spoken to my best friend after he took a sip from his cup of tea. He had several archives opened in front of him, his blue eyes glued to them and scanning them as thoroughly as possible.

Mum, who had been seated on my father's right, hid the rolling of her eyes as she reached for the teapot. She'd been annoyed that father had interrupted breakfast with business talk, especially since it required Liam to Floo to his flat, retrieve the paperwork, and then return to finish his endless stack of pancakes that kept reappearing on his plate (which was my mother's doing, she thought he was too peaky and needed to bulk up). However, Mum didn't comment on Father's impolite request; she hardly allowed him to get away with other things, and Father obliged her that, but when it came to the business and future of Greengrass & Harper Inc. he was not about to take any opposition from anyone. It wasn't something that was spoken about aloud, but Mum knew that Father was always, even if in the slightest, afraid that the Harpers would be left without a single sickle to their name once again. The corporation he had with the Greengrasses had always ran smoothly, but there were moments in past years where keeping the roof over our head was difficult; Father never wanted to see those times again.

'Alec would have been so proud, Liam,' my father added, looking gently at my best friend, at the boy who had grown up beside me since we were three, "I just know it. You're only twenty, but you are revolutionizing the Greengrass empire. I know your Aunt Daphne and her sons made it difficult at the start of it, freezing your inheritance that dipped into their money, but you won that battle in the end. I am proud, too, if I must say.'

Liam, who sat beside me, both of us on my father's left, looked on courageously despite the glaze in his brown eyes that clearly let everyone know he was still mourning the loss of his father, Alec Greengrass. I felt his hand reach for mine underneath the table, squeezing for support. I squeezed back. It had been years since his father's passing, but Liam felt it like it was brand new. Liam had lost both his parents—his mother Pansy when he was just nine and his father at fifteen—but he knew that in the Harpers, alike in the Weasley/Potter clan and in the Malfoys, that he had family to lean on. He was never alone.

'Thank you, Kellan,' Liam replied after a small moment of silence. 'You vouched for me with the council when they voted against giving me their support. I know it would have been easier to have my Uncle Draco continue running the corporation, he had won us important clients since his takeover, and he could definitely have gotten us more...But you trusted me, you persuaded, and now the business is at its prime.'

Father smiled at Liam, but only I could see the truth in his blue eyes. Though my father had agreed to let me live my life, to let me make friends and associate with whomever I pleased (upon Mum's order, really), he still held a strong, unwavering resent towards the Malfoy family. When Mister Greengrass died, Father thought all control of their company would fall onto him, but he was punched on the face by Fate when all of the Greengrass share went to Draco Malfoy. For weeks he fumed and considered disbanding G&H Inc. rather than having to work with Mister Malfoy. Mum had to remind him that every single galleon the Harpers owned was invested in the company, if he pulled out we would be back in poverty. Father gritted his teeth, held his pride tightly against his chest, and worked with Draco for three years until Liam was granted full power on his share.

'I think this new expansion calls for a celebration, don't you think?' I spoke up before my father's bitterness towards Liam's uncle would show, ultimately ruining breakfast with awkwardness. 'I know it's not even noon, but a round of Firewhiskey won't hurt us at all.'

'Nia,' my mother was quick to scowl. 'You have to go to the Ministry in an hour.'

'The Head of the Department of Mysteries is a lenient bloke, Mum,' I refuted her logic. 'Besides, he is totally in love with me. I can show up in my pajamas and piss-drunk and he'd still think that the sun shines out of my—'

Clank. Clank. Clank.

My mother's eyes were about to pop out of her sockets due to my cheek, but, for her sake, the door of the dining room swung open; in came Madame Pott, Harper Residence's new cook. She was pushing a trolley that seemed unstable on its wheels, clanking all the plates together, as she rolled it up to my father's right side.

'More tea, sir? There is also a fresh batch of pancakes for the young Mister Greengrass if he wishes so.'

Liam glanced at his plate, looked sickened at the sixth pancake he had nibbled on, and then shook his head.

'Actually, Madame Pott,' I said, 'We'll be having a round of Firewhiskey, if you don't mind. We're celebrating.'

'Nia—'

'I'm sorry to impose, Miss Harper, but you simply cannot drink alcohol in your state. It is dangerous.' The old woman frowned at me, adding more wrinkles at her expression. She looked absolutely appalled at my direction.

My brows furrowed together. 'What state? I can handle my Firewhiskey perfectly well, mind you. Anyway, like I said, the Head of the department won't even mind it. Not like he would be able to tell.'

'You're really abusing the fact that he fancies you,' commented Liam. 'If Al finds out you're flirting with him to get special privileges—'

'I can hardly call clocking out an hour early a special privilege,' I snorted. 'I'm a bloody good researcher, thank you very much. I earn all my perks. You'll see, in five years from now, I'm going to be the new Head.' I turned back to the cook. 'A round of Firewhiskey, please, Madame Pott.'

The old woman didn't move; her frown just deepened. 'I'm sorry, Miss Harper, but I simply cannot oblige you on your request. If you want to fetch one for yourself, then it will be on you. I will have no participation in the harm that can come to your unborn child.'

The silence that immediately took over the room knocked me out of my chair. My mother's wide gaze was back, but this time instead of being angry at my rudeness, she was staring at me like I was gifting her with the secret of life. Father was stoic, but there was a slow frown of his own starting to appear. He glared at Madame Pott, but then he turned it to me. Liam, the idiot, was gaping at me like I had sprouted another head.

'What are you on about?' I snapped at the woman. 'I'm not pregnant.'

Madame Pott's frown lessened; realization clicked and I didn't like it. She folded her hands over herself and then looked at me tenderly. 'I'm sorry, Miss Harper, I thought you knew. I...I assumed that is why you were here this morning, to tell your parents. I saw the mix of your auras and—'

'The what?' I demanded.

'Oh, Madame Pott,' Mum sighed, smiling at the woman as she hadn't been spewing blasphemes. 'You had mentioned to me you were a gifted Seer. Forgive me, I had forgotten. So you see two auras on my Nia?'

The old woman nodded at my mother. 'The light is faint. There isn't a clear definition of color yet, but it's definitely mixing with Miss Harper's turquoise aura. I'd estimate two months of pregnancy, but I am not a Healer.'

Mum put a hand over her mouth to keep her squeal of delights in. Her gaze was on me, penetrating my pores with her excitement and sentimental overjoy.

I fell back onto my chair; the blood in my veins seemed to run slower, my heart weakened, and a cold dread licked my body.

'Nia?' whispered Liam, his hands once again reaching for mine. 'Are you okay?'

'I can't,' I breathed. 'I can't...I don't want to be.'

After that fateful morning with my parents, it took me almost a month to tell Al about it. I asked my parents to keep it to themselves for the moment being, and I demanded Liam, swore him into an Unbreakable Vow, not tell a single soul, especially his little Potter girlfriend, on the matter. That didn't mean I didn't have Liam pestering me about coming clean every single hour and day; he said it was the right thing to do, but I still hadn't a clue what I wanted to do.

To be frank, I never thought of having children before. I wasn't good with children. Hell, I wasn't good with people in general. All my life I'd been given, spoon fed, this resentment because of what my father thought people had done to him and our family. He fell in love with my mum; it was a miracle that he let her in, she would always say so when they recounted their love story to me, but she was the only one until I came along. Father loved me, I knew, but in his own way, which was fine because I understood that he had been scarred by the rest of the world and I loved him despite it. Though Mum was tender and the warmest woman I'll ever know, I took up my father's grudge and judging ways of seeing the world. As I've said before, Liam became the only person I knew how to befriend. Then Hogwarts happened, then Al happened... I understand love, I do, and I love Al with my entire soul, but I still am who I've always been.

When I told Al about being pregnant, he was over the moon. I don't think I'd ever seen him as happy as in that moment; it was as if he'd been waiting all his life for something like this. And he must have. Al is a Potter and a Weasley—those two streams of blood swimming in one individual demands a love like nothing ever seen. He had grown up being surrounded by love, knowing darkness, but having light within to conquer it. For him, expanding the family-line was something up there with breathing to live; it was natural that he would want, without a doubt, children of his own. He didn't seem to mind that at twenty it was happening to him, the news was his blessing.

It became a phenomena when he revealed it to everyone: Ginny cried, Harry cried, Lily saved her snark towards me and embraced me tightly, James grinned and roared with laughter, claiming to be a proud uncle, Emily, who already had her daughter Bliss, was thrilled, and everyone else seemed to have the same reaction. It was joy, joy, joy, joy—and it was suffocating. My mother and Ginny got together multiple times, planning one of those muggle baby showers, and fawned over what the child would be. Every day I was attacked with questions, with concerns, with tips, with overwhelming emotion that I couldn't take it.

I'd done well to hide my troubled mind, until the night I let it slip.

'Scorpius made me a wager we were going to have a girl,' Al said to me as we sat in the living room of our flat; he was on an armchair, reading the sports section in the Daily Prophet, and I was sat on the couch, flooded with baby clothes that Mrs. Molly Weasley had knitted for her great-grandchild that I carried in my belly. 'He bet me a twenty percent increase in my shares of his company. I took it, of course; I know we are going to have a boy.'

Nothing passed my lips. I stared at the tiny garments surrounding me, fearing the day that there would be a tiny body that would be adoring them soon. A knot formed in my throat, choking me, but my boyfriend didn't seem to notice.

'I know all men think that with their firstborn, but I swear it's not a macho thing, Nia. We are going to have a boy. Then we'll also have a higher stock in Malfoy's company than Zabini.'

With a shaky hand, I reached for a yellow bib and folded it.

'James asked me if we chose a name yet,' he continued happily, proudly. 'I think he's planning on naming his next kid with tribute to one of our dead relatives. I'm not sure if I'd want us to burden our child with such thing. Merlin knows everyone thought I'd be something great because my namesake is Dumbledore and Snape. Of course, I am the youngest Unspeakable in history, and Aunt Hermione is convinced I could be Minister of Magic in the future. But I think she says that only because Rose became a Healer and not a politician.'

I heard the newspaper ruffle, and I was certain he put it down to gaze at me with that pride so loud in his eyes that it was starting to make me dizzy. 'You're five months pregnant now, Nia, but I think it's time we start thinking about moving from this flat. London is a beautiful place, but we should consider buying a house; somewhere our kid can run and build a treehouse or something. The flat is too small. We have two bedrooms, but, really, we are going to need more space because the little lad is going to be running around—'

'Stop! Stop!' My head was spinning as I stood; I saw it all in my mind and I couldn't focus on one single thing I wanted to live through. I didn't see it. I couldn't see what Al saw. Worse of all, I couldn't share his happiness.

'What's wrong?' he asked immediately as he stood. 'Is something wrong with the baby? Do you want to go to the hospital?'

'No!' I pushed his hands from me, backing away. 'I just want you to stop talking, Al. I want you to stop talking about this kid for one moment and let me breathe. I can't breathe—' I gasped, tears rushing down my cheeks. 'You're suffocating me.'

He was instantly confused. His green eyes narrowed at me, and with a tone that broke his own heart, he asked, 'What's that suppose to mean, Nia?'

And I couldn't lie. 'I'm not ready,' I confessed. 'I didn't...Al, I didn't want to have children. I wanted it to be only you and I, because you and I is all I know how to do...I don't know how to love anyone aside from you. What if this is different? What if I look at this kid and can't love it?'

'Don't say that,' he hissed at me. 'The baby is yours, Nia. He's yours. And I know you—you're capable of loving so much more than you think. Look at us! You forgave my betrayal because you love me so fervently. Don't begin to say that you cannot love because that's not true! You're scared!'

'I am,' I whispered back. 'I'm scared for this kid...For it to have me as it's mother.'

Attempting to make me hear reason was Al's greatest failure. There were no words strong enough that he could say to me to shake off this overwhelming fear inside of me. I was filled with ire every single moment of my life, I was fire—and I didn't want to burn. So I left.

It has been three months since then. He Flooed, he owled, he showed up at my parents' home, but he couldn't win. A week ago, there was a knock on my bedroom door; assuming it was Al, I told him to leave, but the door opened and in walked Ginny and Harry Potter. They looked at me, not with grudges or anger, but with affection they'd always had for me. Ginny left me with the invitation to the annual Christmas party that was being held in their house. I said nothing, just my farewell to them, and a promise to myself that I would not show. But I did. For that family, I'd do anything.

Now I sat in silence, by myself. I watched Evanna Nott, the former Ravenclaw that had become enamored with Freddie Weasley, gush over her one year-old twins, Riley and Rory. There was such absolute happiness in her gaze as she handed one over to George, her unofficial father-in-law, and he gushed even more dramatically so. Freddie grinned from ear to ear, an arm around Evanna's shoulders.

I didn't know how Evanna—how anyone, really—could automatically fall so in love with these little beings. The former Ravenclaw would swoon during her pregnancy, eager for her little twin girls to come to life. Once, we were out taking a stroll through Diagon Alley and a bloke accidentally bumped into her, she went livid, like they had attempted to take her life. She had such protection for her belly that she strengthened her wandless magic just to be able to conjure a shielding charm with a blink of an eye...I wasn't like that.

During my observing of Evanna and Freddie's little family, Emily walked her way to me with two year-old Bliss in her arms. It was such a sight to see because Emily waddled, her huge belly making every step difficult.

"Mind watching Bliss for me, Nia? James went up on the roof with Louis to have a bet on who can fly the longest with their new spell experiment. If I don't get up there, my children may be fatherless."

I took Bliss from her mother and placed her on my lap. The little dark-haired girl flashed her green eyes at me, huge and adoring, and smiled big. I returned the gesture wholeheartedly.

"The spell works, Em—surprisingly. I know they're both quite dumb, but the spell seems to hold."

"Oh,I know the spell works. But if Ginny sees James trying to throw himself off the roof, she's going to climb up there and throw him herself for being so careless. Despite popular belief, I actually like being married to James."

I laughed and watched her waddle back away.

Bliss reached for a strand of my blonde hair and fingered it. "Pretty hair, Aunt Ya."

I smiled at her failed attempt to say my name. A piece of me, however, faltered at her calling me aunt. Her mother was my best friend, a part of my heart, and I loved Bliss like we shared the same blood, but...But, there was once a time when I was legally going to be her aunt. One day, marrying Al was going to give me that. That was the past, though.

"Yours is prettier, sweetheart," I told her, reaching for one over her waves and twirling it. "You're going to be just as breathtaking as your mum when you grow older, Bliss. You mark your Aunt Ya's words, okay. Your daddy is going to have a heart attack the first time a bloke asks you on a date, and I only hope someone captures that moment so I can laugh at it forever."

Bliss had no idea what I said to her, yet she grinned with such amusement as if she had.

"You always talk to them like they're adults," said a voice behind me that made my back rigid. "They like it, though. I reckoned these kids are a lot smarter than we think."

Al appeared from behind me, his essence leaving a trail that blowed along with the wind, making his scent reach my nostrils. It was such a woodsy smell; it was on all the sweatshirts I'd kept that belonged to him, that now were used as my pajamas...that I used to wrap myself with whenever I missed him, which was always.

His emerald eyes were gentle, loving as they looked at me, like no time had passed by at all. Like I hadn't shouted at him three weeks ago and told him to give up and leave me alone. I could only hope that he knew that I loved him, that I always will. I hoped that he knew that right at this moment, I wanted nothing more than to rush into his arms and have him hold me tight. I missed him. I loved him.

"Babysitting duties," he said as he bounced Glorie Lupin on his hip. The blonde girl, who was a replica of the Delacour family, grinned at me beautifully; her hands stretching out and demanding me to gather her in my arms. "Teddy and Victoire are at her Healer Christmas party. They should be here soon, but they wanted Glorie to spend time with the family than with a bunch of Healers."

Scooting Bliss onto my right thigh, Al placed Glorie onto my left one. Immediately, the blonde girl pressed a kiss onto my cheek and started speaking to me in her baby gibberish. I only smiled at her after pressing an enormous kiss on her forehead. Then, the two cousins(Bliss and Glorie) talked with one another in a rambling only an infant could comprehend.

"How are you feeling?" Al asked after a moment of silence.

"The baby is fine," I said to him, looking away from his gaze. "You must know that I saw your Aunt Angelina last week. That's why you're asking, right?"

He sighed. "She said you were having pains."

I shrugged, focusing on the four hands over my body: playing with my necklace, my hair, or fingering my dress. "It was nothing. I had spicy food with Liam. Just reaction, I guess."

"You could have owled me, Nia. I would have gone with you at any time."

"You were at work," I said offhandedly.

He sighed again, but this time louder. He was frustrated with me. "Don't do this to me. Don't shut me out of my child's life—out of your life, Nia." He stepped closer to me, determination in his eyes. "I want to be there, every step of the way. Please don't take that away from me."

"I'm not—"

"You broke up with me," he hissed, dismissing me. "How the hell don't you want me to feel rejected? Abandoned?"

"Don't speak that way in front of the girls," I reprimanded, running one hand over Glorie's hair, and the other patting Bliss's back. "Leave it alone, Al."

His determination was not about to wither. He gently reached for Glorie and pulled her off my lap, then did the same with his niece. He made the two girls hold hands and then said, "Bliss, baby, be a good girl, and walk over to Granddad Harry, yeah. Take Glorie with you."

Bliss grinned at her Uncle Al and nodded obediently. "Glorie, go!" she said with a giggle.

Taking Al's momentary distraction, as he made sure the little girls walked at their pace towards his father, I scooted the chair back and forced myself up. I started walking to the end of the garden, hoping he'd get the hint, but he didn't. That was, ironically, something that I loved about Al: his determination.

He walked behind me, catching up in one swift step(seeing as I couldn't go too far with my extra weight).

"If it's me who you don't want to have children with, just say it," he said from beside me, not with a tone of anger, but one of hurtful wondering.

I stopped my walk to glare at him. I didn't think he was as daft as to assume that was the reason of me behaving the way I was. The idiot. Had I not told him several times that all I was sure of was him? He was everything I wanted. Him. Him. Him. Forever. That fucking idiot.

"If you love me, Nia, then why are you afraid? I'll be right there with you, helping you. This should be the happiest moments of our lives. We're going to have a child—"

"You just don't get it," I snapped. "I don't want to be a mother, Al. I wouldn't know how. I wouldn't know what to do with it, with myself, or you. You know me, Al. You know that I'm terrible at being affectionate. I don't want to be my father with this child. I don't want to be every generation of my family that came before me. I don't want this kid to think that only you love it."

"He would never—"

"You're just saying that!"

"I'm not," he said immediately. He tried to reach for my hands but I took a step away from him. He looked disappointment, but he tried not to focus on it. "Just give us a chance, Nia. Give our family a chance."

A knot formed in my throat, suffocating me. Tears stung my eyes, but I would not let them fall. I could not cry for something I was choosing.

"What's your plan, then?" He whispered to me, noticing my unwillingness to speak. "You're going to give our baby up? Are you going to give birth, hand him over to me, and cut all ties from our lives like you never existed?"

I glared harder. "Don't, Al."

"It's the truth, isn't it? That's your only way out. You don't want our baby to feel like you don't love him, yet you're abandoning us—at least, that's what you're planning on doing."

"I said stop it!"

My shout must have echoed far to the gathering of people because the lively garden party quickly hushed down, leaving only the children giggling hauntingly in the background. The adults looked over at us, then at one another. They hadn't the foggiest what to do as Al and I had a stand off. From where I stood, I could see Liam stand from his chair, a frown creasing his forehead, but then his Potter girlfriend reached from his arm and tugged at it, signaling him to sit. Surprisingly, mostly to myself, Lily and I were in good terms these years, had been willingly, actually, so I know the reason behind her not wanting Liam to meddle was because this was something I needed to hash out with Al. Alone. Yet, for the first time, I was hoping for intervenience.

I wasn't going to get that from this family, though. No one in the garden party was going to stand up and tell Al to bugger off and leave me alone with whatever choices I had made. Every single person present wanted an answer for me. They wanted to hear what I was going to do, just like Al. They were all demanding it. And the thing is, I don't have a fucking clue. I never did. All I am positively certain about is the deep fear within me forbade me from seeing any outcome. I just knew the present moment, and all the fear in it.

My knees started shaking, signaling that I was losing my will. My chest started heaving; I was losing my breath. Worse of all, the pain that had been stabbing my heart all these months shot down to my swollen stomach and I almost doubled over.

With gritted teeth, I turned from Al and slowly headed for the backdoor of the Potter household, my goal being their Floo Network.

"Runaway then," Al said from behind me. "But you're wrong, Nia. You're wrong. You're making yourself the monster. I know that you're capable of it—everyone knows it!"

My legs gave out—I gasped at the overwhelming pain as I fell onto my hands and knees. The next thing I knew was the scream that pierced the night and all the bodies rushing towards me.

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I was made up of agony and fire. That's the only way I could describe what I was feeling outside, the song that I was screaming. My throat burned because of it, because of the pain that was eating me up. I would bet every galleon with my name that I was being tortured, that someone was hovering over me, wand pointed at my stomach, and shouting Crucio at me.

"Make it stop. Make it stop," I cried, not sure at who, but with hopes that they had the power to end it.

To my ears, there was so much noise that blurred over with my screams. I couldn't tell who was in the room with me, who I knew, or how many people were present. All I wanted was for one of them, I didn't give a fuck who, to put me out of my misery.

"Make it stop," I begged again, following another one of my screams.

There was a mixture of voices again, but then there was brisk movement. Someone rushed over to my side, reaching for my hands that were clawing at the mattress I was on.

"Do something! Please!" It was Al. He was yelling beside me. There was fear and panic and anger in his voice.

"We had to induce labor, Al," I recognized Healer Angelina Weasley's voice.

"But she's only eight months pregnant! It's not time yet!"

I wanted to agree with Al, but a scream escaped my mouth instead. He gripped my hands tighter between his.

"One of the babies is ready to come out, Al. If I didn't induce the labor it might not survive. Do you understand that? There is no other choice! Nia has to give birth now."

"One of the babies?" asked Al incredulously. "What do you mean one of the babies?"

Angelina did not answer right away. She ordered her assistant to prep for the birth immediately, then she turned to her nephew. "You asked me to keep everything but the health of the baby a secret. I respected that. But I am telling you right now that one of your twins is in danger. It's time to give birth."

The pain that was plaguing my insides was my child demanding to come out. The baby was telling my body, its cocoon for months, that it was time for it to see the world. My child was clawing my insides because it needed to breathe the same air that I was breathing, because if it didn't leave my womb now, at this very moment, it was never going to see its first day on earth.

Like all my fear had been pulled as if it were a rubber band, it was then released and it smacked me full-force. It instantly transformed from me being afraid of it, to me being afraid for it.

"I'm ready to push," I said past my gritted teeth, trying to find Angelina through the haze of my tears. "I'm ready. Please, please...Save my baby, please."

Angelina nodded at me, her brown eyes looking at me reassuringly, positive that there was a happy ending after this pain. Her assistant rushed in with her scrubs. As she hurriedly put them on, I looked at Al.

"I'm sorry," I cried squeezing back his hands for the first. "I'm so sorry, Al. You were right, I've been scared. I've been scared because I'm afraid to love."

Al's own tears fell down his cheeks. "You love more than anyone I've ever known, Nia. You love and care for everyone in your life so much, and we love you back just as much. But you find flaws in yourself that don't exist. This baby—our twins, Nia, are going to be loved by you, and they're going to be the luckiest little things ever to have you as their mum."

Another scream rippled out my throat and past my mouth. Before I could say anything in response to Al, Angelina was by my legs. As hurriedly and carefully as she could, she parted my legs and pinned them to the side of where I laid.

"You're fully dilated, Nia," she said to me. "It's time to push now."

My heart pounded inside my chest with uncanny speed, colliding with my bones so harshly that it started to sound out the howls of pain I was giving. The hectic rhythm of thump, thump, thump, thump invaded my ears, but then Al's encouraging and loving words came in; determination, faith that only he could give me, fueled every cell in my body.

This baby was going to live. My baby was going to live. And I would spend the rest of my life loving it, giving it every bit of me, and begging for forgiveness for ever thinking that I could not dedicate my days to it.

I started forcing myself to continue pushing despite the pain that felt as if I was being torn apart. I watched Angelina switch from looking at the opening in my body, then up at me, mouthing encouraging words, too, that were being buzzed out. My gaze then moved to meet Al's, his eyes were on me, never leaving me. His green eyes were deeply enthralled by every piece of me; he looked at me with the grandest emotion I'd ever seen etched on anyone's face.

I knew that he loved me—knew that fucking ages ago—but the way his eyes were shining in this very moment, the way they glittered like gems, made me feel like I was the only person that only mattered to him. It was like he was gazing at the most beautiful, valuable thing that he has ever laid eyes on. He claimed me over and over again with that look. There was so much love, so much adoration, that I was almost embarrassed to look at him.

I loved Al with every breath in my lungs, with every vein in my body, with every pump of my heart, and every blink of my eyes. My greatest mistake has been being afraid of it. Since the moment I chose to resent this pregnancy, I've been submerged and paralyzed by fear—because Al is right, I do love, and I love intensely. I am capable of love; I'd go to the end of the world and back for the people in my life. Yet, when it came to the product of our love growing inside of me, I feared that it wouldn't be enough. But that was a lie that I fed to myself.

I would love my child—my children—with the same fire I loved Al, perhaps even ten times more.

I am ready.

"Push, Nia!"

A scream.

"One more push, Nia! One more! The head is out!"

Gritting my teeth, I muffled my next scream as I gripped onto Al's hand with all the force I could muster.

A cry pierced the room, and it didn't come from me.

"It's a boy!" squealed Angelina with the interference of familial love rather than Healer professionalism.

"We have a son," mumbled Al in awe, his emerald gaze wide as he looked at the Healer's assistant raise a tiny body in the air. The assistant was then quick to wrap my baby in a blanket. "Nia, we have a—"

This time, I screamed. And loud.

"Right," Al gulped, shaking off his tearful happiness with determination. He gripped my hands again. "Come on, love. It's almost over. One more baby to go."

"That's easy for you to say, you stupid twat!" I hissed, instantly angered at him. What the hell did he think I was doing? Drinking tea and eating homemade pastries? I had just given birth to one kid, now I had to go in thirty seconds later to deliver another one. I loved that idiot, but I could murder him.

Al grimaced as I shouted in pain again. "I'm sorry," he apologized quickly. "I love you so much, Nia. I do. I want you to know that. I love you. I love you."

My body filled with warmth despite the flashes of new contractions dominating inside of me. Our eyes connected again, and I felt like the world was spinning around me. In that moment, I could see our future together. And it was beautiful.

There was a new wail in the room.

"It's a girl!"

My back collapsed against the mattress when the pain of pushing ended. I started crying as exhaustion washed over me.

"What's wrong, Nia?" Al whispered to me, kissing my face as he cried with me. "We have a son and a daughter. Our twins, Nia. Ours."

Angelina appeared beside me. "And they're beautiful," she said gently to us, her own tears shining bright in her brown gaze. She lowered my firstborn onto my arms and her assistant handed Al the baby girl.

"Thank you, Angelina," I said to Al's aunt. "I owe you my baby's life."

The Healer waved me off with a chuckle. She opened her mouth to say something to me, but the door of the room opened. I was not surprised to see Ginny and my mother pushing their way in, ignoring Angelina's assistant. Immediately, the women started crying and fawning. I rolled my eyes.

Angelina backed away as my mother made her way to me. Her blue eyes, so alike mine, yet warmer, kinder, so full of all the comfort I needed in the world, looked at me like she couldn't be more proud of me than right at that moment. There was so much she wanted to say, I knew that, but no words were required; her gentle gaze said it all.

Ginny hovered over Al, looking exactly like a mother—like a grandmother—would. She kissed Al several times on his cheeks, hugging him, careful not to squish her new granddaughter.

"You two don't seem surprised to see we had twins," Al commented with a sniff.

Ginny scoffed, her fingertips gently tracing my baby girl's forehead. "We harassed Angelina into telling us ages ago. You might have not wanted to know, but we were not willing to wait so long to find out."

"What will you name them?" asked my mum, smiling grandly as Al moved to sit next to me; his arms were shaking as he held on to his daughter, as if he was afraid he'd drop her, like he could hurt her. He wouldn't, though. He would never. I knew it by the adoration that gushed out of him like body heat.

With tears still running down my cheeks, I snuggled closely to Al as our twins opened their eyes at the same time.

The boy had the faintest trace of blonde hair, just like all the Harper family has had since its existence. His eyes were already gleaming bright—bright like that beautiful emerald shade that has been passed down to the Potter bloodline by Lily Evans. Our son had the same shape, same thick lashes as Harry and Al had; a resemblance so uncanny that no one could ever deny that my boy was a full-blooded Potter.

The baby girl that Al carried was the opposite: she had the finest strands of black hair, unruly and waving at the ends just like the Potter family. Her eyes were round, big, and contrasted greatly to the green her brother had. My girl's eyes were icy blue, like mine. They held the essence of a beautiful spring day; and I knew that I would always get lost in them.

My twins were so beautiful.

I stared at them, my heart doing twirls and spins and flips and anything that wasn't a constant beat. The babies began to close their eyelids, drifting off to a soundless sleep after the commotion their birth had been.

"Neo," I began, touching my son's chin with my fingertip. "Neo Potter."

"Alexa Jamie," said Al, grinning widely at me. "Alexa Jamie Potter."

Those were the names he had circled on his list of potentials. I saw it one night, one night after I had walked out on him; I had been to our flat to retrieve my things, he was working, and the list was on the coffee table. I remember sitting down, my feet exhausted due to the weight of my unknown twins, and I picked it up. I never wanted to hear any talk of the baby when I was pregnant, I tended to sound it out, but I remember Al telling me his choice of names—'I want the name to resemble us in a way. Because we made it. Because it should know, no matter where it goes or where we are, that its parents love it like nothing else,' he had explained of his choice.

As Alexa yawned, Al managed to move an arm around my shoulder. His eyes were still looking at me like the most important thing that he had ever seen; all his love shone deeply, like a never-ending burst of light.

"Welcome to the family, Alexa and Neo," said Ginny gently. "You are perfect."

"They are," I agreed with a yawn of my own. "Because they are ours."

My eyelids started fluttering; sleep was coming to claim me, to give me the rest I needed after going through labor. I felt my mother take Neo from my arms, and the muttering between Al and Ginny only meant that she was taking Alexa from him.

Al wrapped his arms tightly around me, snuggling closer to me. He pressed kisses onto the side of my head.

"I love you," he whispered to me.

And with my last conscious breath before drifting off to sleep, I said, "I love you more."