*PSA: Because of the accusations against Brendon and his lack of an apology or explanation I will not be continuing his character in this book. He will make no more appearances since his role in this story doesn't affect the outcome in any way*

Frank texted his father as soon as he pulled himself back together. If this experience had taught him anything, it was that life was too short to hold any sort of grudge against his loved ones. He didn't go into detail regarding what had happened to Pete or why he'd decided to message him now, but he let his dad know that he'd loved to see him again soon, although he wasn't sure when that would be since life had been hectic for him lately.

He also composed a short message to Gerard once the one to his father was sent. He knew his boyfriend was busy, but Frank wanted to let him know that he was thinking of him. All it said was "I love you. I'm always here if you need me." Frank had so much more he wanted to say but those few words conveyed more than enough.

Not long after that, or maybe hours had passed, Frank still didn't have a great sense of time, they were allowed in to see Pete. Frank had been exhausted beforehand, but as soon as the nurse clad in aquamarine scrubs told him that Pete was up and accepting visitors, it was if he had an ingested an entire pot of coffee. His nerve endings tingled with anticipation as he waited for Pete's mother to step ahead of him, letting her take the lead even though all he wanted to do was to sprint ahead of both her and the nurse so he could see Pete that much sooner.

Frank hung back momentarily when Pete's mother reached his best friend's side, giving the family unit the chance to bond without him interfering. He took the time to observe Pete lying in a hospital bed. The white sheets contrasted starkly against his friend's dark hair, the rest of his body getting swallowed up by the hospital gown clinging to his frame. His arms were bare though, exposing a cast on one hand and an array of scars decorating his forearms that Frank had never noticed before. His heart clenched in his chest as he took in the physical signs of Pete's mental suffering. He had no idea how he was so blind before, but now his eyes were wide open, and he wouldn't allow them to be shut again.

"Hey..." Frank smiled despite the heaviness in his chest. "How are you feeling?" he asked when neither Pete or his mother broke the awkward silence.

Before Pete had a chance to answer, his mother launched herself at him, embracing him carefully but fiercely all at once. Frank choked down the lump that rose in his throat when Pete returned her affection as much as he could in his current condition. For a brief moment, Frank wondered what would happen if their roles were reversed, if he was in the hospital bed and his mother was the one visiting him. Would she react like Pete's mother, or would she even remember him? Frank would never know. It changed from one day to the next. That didn't matter now though, and it wasn't fair to compare his life to Pete's. They both had their struggles in their own ways, and neither of their lives were perfect.

"My baby...you scared me so much," Mrs. Wentz sobbed quietly.

"I know Mom, I'm so sorry," Pete whispered. "I don't know what came over me...I - I'm so sorry. I made a huge mistake."

"It's okay, you're okay. Just - god...I'm so glad you're safe."

"So am I," Frank added on. "I want to apologize for what I did...I never meant to drive you to this. You're my best friend Pete. I love you so much and I would never try and hurt you intentionally."

"I know, I was stupid," Pete sighed. "I've been a bit of a mess lately. My head has been all over the place, but it's no excuse for what I did. I just reacted without thinking. I don't really want to die...but at the moment it seemed to be the easy way out."

Just then, a nurse entered the room, interrupting their private conversation, which Frank was thankful for since he was already on the verge of tears.

"Sorry to intrude, but I need to check your vitals honey."

Frank and Mrs. Wentz both nod politely, not wanting to continue their conversation with someone else present. Moments later, a man entered the room as well. Frank could only assume it was the doctor due to his white coat and the clipboard he was holding.

"Ah Pete, good to see you up," the man smiled. "I'm Dr. Collins. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess," Pete shrugged, "considering what I did, I'm just lucky to be alive."

"Yes, you are, son. I know right now might not be the time, but we do need to talk about what happened before we can release you. We can have this discussion later if you like." The doctor paused, glancing back at Frank and Mrs. Wentz before turning his gaze to Pete again.

"No, it's okay. They're my family, so anything we need to talk about they can hear."

Frank smiled to himself at Pete's words. He hadn't been sure how Pete would feel about him after he'd invaded his privacy, but it appeared that he was already forgiven. He didn't deserve love like this, but he knew for a fact that he would never take Pete for granted again.

"Well, the good news is, you have no serious injuries. Your scan all came back and you have no brain damage or internal bleeding. Luckily, it was raining so hard tonight, so the river was much higher than usual. I've had a few patients in here that have made that jump and ended up in the morgue. I'm glad you won't be one of them."

"So am I," Pete cut in, but the doctor wasn't finished speaking yet.

"I want to make sure I don't see you in here again though, and I can't help but notice you have a lot of previous scarring and injuries that didn't happen tonight."

"I...yeah, I have been self-harming," Pete admitted. "I didn't mean for it to get this bad, but now it's hard to stop." Frank couldn't help but admire Pete's bravery. He struggled with so many things as well, but he was never strong enough to admit that to anyone else, yet here Pete was barring his darkest secrets to a stranger in the attempt to get better.

"I'm proud of you for admitting it, that's a big first step," the doctor smiled down at Pete, ignoring the two visitors in the room for the time being. "And I know it's hard to admit you need help, but this hospital has an amazing inpatient program for people struggling with addictions like self-harm. I know the idea of it is scary, but a lot of people have found it very helpful in the long run. You don't have to do anything that you and your mother don't agree on, of course, but I would highly recommend admitting yourself for the minimum thirty day period and seeing if it's of any benefit to you. For now, I'll leave you all be so you can discuss things, but the nurse will be asking about your decision when she comes back

"Okay, thank you," Pete nodded thoughtfully. Frank smiled at the doctor as he said his farewells to him and Mrs. Wentz as well.

Although Pete had given him permission to sit in on their conversation, Frank still felt like a bit of an outsider. Pete was facing a huge decision that would most likely impact the rest of his life, and even if his friend wasn't going to mention it, Frank had put him in this predicament in the first place. Maybe he wasn't the only reason that Pete had fallen into this pit of despair, but he had pushed him down this road, his journal was proof of that.

Yet Pete was being the bigger person and taking the blame all on his own shoulders. Frank didn't know what he would do if he were in Pete's position. He'd never been brave enough to ask for help before, and now here Pete was practically screaming for someone to save him. Frank didn't want him to be committed to the hospital, but if it would help him regain his feet, it might be for the best.

"Oh honey, what are you thinking about?" Mrs. Wentz broke up the silence of the room with her innocent question. "Whatever you want to do, I'll support you. You can come home if you want, and your dad and I will be there for you, but I know being in a hospital might give you more resources that we can't provide for you."

"I think I need to try this program, at least for a little while. I - I need some help, and I'm scared if I go back home right now I'll fall back into the same mindset again."

"Of course, son," Mrs. Wentz agreed, tears clogging her words as she clasped Pete's hand in hers. "Whatever you need, I'm here for you."

"So am I," Frank added on. "I've been a shitty friend, but I'll be here for you every step of the way."

"Thank you, really. That means the world to me. I love you - both of you. Thank you for finding me - for saving me. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You'll never have to find out," Mrs. Wentz said, echoing what was running through Frank's brain word for word.

~~~

"No fucking way," Mikey seethed, "you aren't putting me in rehab, Gerard."

"It's not rehab - it's like therapy...sort of. It's technically an inpatient program, and you only have to stay in the hospital for thirty days."

"So it's rehab," Mikey scoffed. "No, no, and no. You can't make me do this. I'm an adult, and you're not my legal guardian."

Gerard sighed heavily, his head aching as he tried to reason with his stubborn younger brother. He had been ecstatic when Mikey had awoken after spending almost five days in a coma, but now a tiny part of him almost wished he was still asleep. Mikey's doctor had highly recommended the program this hospital offered for addicts, and Gerard agreed, but Mikey wasn't on the same page with them just yet.

"You have a point, but if you don't do this, I'm kicking you out," Gerard stood his ground. "I can't live like this anymore Mikes, and neither can you. You need help, so you're going to get it one way or the other. If you refuse to do this, you can walk out of here, sure, but I'm not giving you anything until you get clean. Not another cent, not a bed to sleep on, nothing."

"Fuck you, I can't believe you're doing this to me. You used to do drugs too! How can you not want to do it again? How can you not understand what I'm going through?" Mikey asked, his tone cutting through Gerard's insides like knives.

"I did, and that's why I'm putting my foot down, because I almost died thanks to drugs. In fact, it's why I disbanded My Chemical Romance," Gerard admitted before he could stop himself. "That night at the end of Warped Tour, I got high - and you know what, I also got raped. I was too fucked up to say no, and when I came to after it was all over, I wanted to die, I was going to, in fact. I ran off to go kill myself, but I couldn't do it. I was too much of a coward. So instead of taking my life, I ruined yours by ending the band."

"Gee...I - I didn't know..."

"I know you didn't. I never wanted you to know. I was going to take that secret to my grave, but if it helps you understand how dire your situation is, I'm willing to share it so you can see how badly this can end. I can't lose you the way I almost lost myself. I refuse to. And I almost did last week. If Frank hadn't been in our apartment, you could have died before I got home. I would have opened the door to your dead body... and I - can't live with myself if you die. I need you in my life Mikes. You're my baby brother. I love you so fucking much, so I'm not going to let you destroy yourself like I almost did."

"Fucking fine," Mikey pouted, "but you better fucking visit me."

"Seriously?" Gerard asked, his head spinning at Mikey's sudden change of heart.

"Yeah, I'll go. I'm so sorry Gee...I always knew something had happened to you to make you break up the band...I just had no idea what. I should have been there for you, but I was too caught up in my head to notice. So the least I can do is try and get clean now. I know I've been out of control...it's just hard to stop. It makes me feel invincible, like I used to on stage. I miss that feeling."

"No...don't be sorry. It was my fault," Gerard whispered as if others could hear him if he spoke at a louder tone. "I still don't want anyone to know, but you deserve the truth, and I don't want you to end up where I did. I love you so fucking much Mikey, and I know we can still have good lives outside of the band."

"Okay, Gee, you're right," Mikey nodded. "We will, and I'll go to rehab. Soon enough this will all be a thing of the past."

"Thank you," Gerard smiled as he grasped Mikey's hand in his.

A part of him rejoiced at Mikey's words. This is what he always wanted, for his brother to get clean and find happiness outside of drugs and alcohol. But he also knew that kicking this habit wasn't nearly as easy as it sounded. He had done it, but only through sheer force of will and the constant reminder of what it felt like to be pinned down and helpless while under the influence. Mikey didn't have that horror to steer him away from a potential relapse, and although Gerard would never wish his experience on anyone, especially his brother, he knew it would be difficult for Mikey to keep his word, even if he completed his stint in rehab.

But still, this was a step in the right direction. Mikey was awake, and alive, and agreeing to get some help. Things could only go up from here...right?

Hello again lovely readers.

This took much longer than I wanted it to, as always, but I managed to push through and finish it today which I am very proud of.

Honestly I've not been doing the best mentally and it's hard to do anything besides go to work and sleep but I'm trying my best to keep writing. Actually I even started a new Frerard oneshot recently which I'm hoping to upload to my Destroya book soon so keep an eye out for that as well.

Votes and comments are always lovely if you feel like leaving one xx

Chapter dedicated to amberisnotawesome

Just a few more months and we'll be fine

- starr