Frank knew he was dreaming somehow, his instincts telling him that none of this was real despite the pungent smell of damp earth filling his nostrils that seemed more genuine than any scent he could produce with his imagination, or the clogging veil of terror inundating every one of his nerves endings, but even though Frank was aware that this was all a fabrication concocted by his mind, he couldn't seem to wake himself up, no matter how many sharp pinches he applied to his sweat soaked skin.

But although Frank's senses were amplified to almost inhuman proportions, his emotions weren't, and that in itself was all Frank needed to assure himself that he was indeed in an world invented by his subconscious state, because Frank's heart didn't feel like it was being dragged out of his chest by prying fingers, his stomach had stopped writhing uncomfortable as if his organs had come alive inside of him, his head was clear and focused, and despite the fact that he still ached, and the simple recollection of everything that had happened with Gerard released a dull wave of pain that slowly rolled over his entire body, it was muted, it was bearable, and a part of Frank wanted to stay asleep forever if it meant that he would continue to be granted this much needed respite.

Frank allowed his eyes to crack open a small margin, trying to decipher where he was, and why he couldn't move, a part of him not wanting to deal with the horrors of his subconscious, the whole reason he had drifted off was to escape the ordeals he had suffered through earlier on, but curiosity won out, even though Frank instantly regretted his action when grit and mud slipped in-between his lids, producing stinging tears in an attempt to remove the irritating substance from Frank's corneas.

The brief view Frank had caught of his surroundings around him hadn't been very informative, all he had managed to deduce was that he was lying on his back, the material underneath him molded around his frame, leading Frank to believe that it was the same dirt that was covering his face and torso, keeping him pinned down with its weight, the darkness surrounding his partially submerged body erasing all other clues to his location, but it really didn't matter anyway, because when another layer of soil hit Frank's body, the silt seeming to appear from the sky like rainwater, Frank understood what was happening - he was being buried alive.

Frank chuckled under his breath at the realization, the paltry attempt at humor transforming into a wracking cough as small particles of dust were dragged into his lungs, but Frank couldn't stop his hysterical laughter, it was the only thing keeping him from bursting out in tears after all, and faking mirth was better than letting his weakness show to whoever was doing this to him, even in a dream.

Frank never understood how dreams worked, although this should probably be classified as a nightmare, but either way, it seemed strange that at times Frank's brain would produce random images that made absolutely no sense, but now it had knitted together a perfect analogy for his current predicament, the heavy soil representing the weight of Frank's lie, the rapidly rising level of it accurately portraying Frank's chances of finding a way out of his falsities in the real world, the constriction in his lungs matching the sensations he felt whenever he allowed himself to reminisce on the way Gerard had looked at him when his secret had finally been revealed in the worst way possible.

And even though Frank was aware that this was a fantasy, he instinctually fought against the second round of soil as it poured down around his small frame, his limbs twisting helplessly as he tried to escape, because maybe if he survived this illusion, it would mean something, or at the very least, it would give him hope that he had a chance at getting through to Gerard, although Frank was well aware how illogical his thought pattern was, but he was willing to cling to any scant amount of foolish conclusions his mind presented to him at the moment.

And just the thought of Gerard had Frank intensifying his pointless struggles, his chest heaving from his efforts as he managed to free one of his arms from the growing pile of silt, the added leverage helping him to put more strength into unearthing the rest of his buried body, but just when Frank was convinced that he could do this, that he could escape, an even larger amount of dirt cascaded into the pit, smothering Frank entirely, leaving only his neck and head free, and Frank knew that the next load would bury him completely.

"Gerard!" Frank cried hoarsely, his voice ringing out unnaturally loud in the otherwise silent air, no other sounds broke the eerie stillness, not even a shuffle from whoever was condemning Frank to an agonizing death by suffocation. "Please help me..." Frank tried again, his broken sentence projecting in a much weaker manner, because if Gerard was a part of this dream, he would surely have rushed to Frank's aid by now, no matter how furious he was with him, but the dark haired man was nowhere to be seen.

And just when Frank was doing his best to resign himself to his fate, a soft sob reached his soil filled ears, the sound tearing his heart in two, because he knew that cry, he would recognize it anywhere - it was Gerard, but the proximity of the exclamation could only mean one thing, and even in a dream, Frank didn't want to believe the verdict that his mind had reached.

"I'm so sorry Frank," Gerard spoke up just then, ruining Frank's attempt at pretending that Gerard wasn't the one filling in his makeshift grave, but he was, of course he was, this only completed the metaphor that Frank had caught on to originally, but this wasn't the way it was supposed to be, Gerard was supposed to save Frank, not murder him, but even though Frank's body protested painfully when the next round of silt rained down around him, he couldn't find it in himself to be angry with Gerard.

"Why?" Frank croaked out, his lips stained with grit and mud, the taste barely registering next to the bile that was flooding his mouth.

"I don't want to do this, but I have to...please Frank, please forgive me," Gerard begged, his tone conveying a sense of despair that matched the sensations Frank was currently feeling, but despite their situations, Frank found himself wanting to comfort Gerard, even if he used his last breath in doing so.

"It's okay...just keep talking to me," Frank pressed gently, doing his best to ignore the fact that he was mostly covered in grave dirt, pretending that he was by Gerard's side instead, with his arms wrapped around the older man like he ached for them to be.

"I'm saving you Frank - I know it doesn't seem like it, but you have to trust me," Gerard pleaded, a scraping sound following his sentence which Frank could only assume was caused by a shovel, even though his prying eyes spied nothing besides for the greying sky, no matter how forcefully he craned his neck in an pathetic attempt to bring Gerard into his line of vision.

"Okay," Frank found himself saying, even though he hadn't meant to let the word slip past his lips, because although he did trust Gerard more than anyone else in the world, he also knew that Gerard had given up, his burial of Frank was symbolic of that, this entire sequence was a warped version of their tattered relationship, and that left Frank to fight for them alone, but apparently the dream version of him had withdrawn from the battle as well.

And although Frank wanted to scream, to break out of his prison formed of soil, to grab onto Gerard and never let him go until he changed his mind, it was too late, Gerard was dumping the last traces of dirt over Frank's head, and even though Frank couldn't see Gerard through the grit obscuring his view, he somehow knew that he was weeping, his tears mixing in with the earth as Frank surrendered to the death Gerard had forced him to accept.

~~~

Frank awoke suddenly, an unfamiliar touch on his arm jolting him away from the fading images left behind by his nightmare, but the meaning of the dream stayed with him, even though Frank didn't possess the energy to decipher if there was any truth behind what his brain had produced, and honestly, Frank didn't want to ponder the parallels between the mental concoction and his current predicament, he already had more than enough to worry about at the moment.

"You awake Frank?" Mikey's questioning tone inspired Frank to nod his head wearily, his eyes refusing to open just yet. "Well...Gee is on his way home, are you sure you are up for talking to him right now?"

That announcement of Gerard's eminent arrival had Frank sitting up quickly, his stubborn lids finally responding to his brain's signals, allowing him to take in Mikey's slightly blurry face as he tried to orient himself after the sudden movement. Frank still felt shaky and weak, but the short nap had pushed back the overwhelming nausea he had been experiencing earlier, it had left a pounding headache in its place though, and Frank wasn't sure which one was worse.

"Yeah...I have to do it today, I'll drive myself crazy otherwise," Frank responded slowly, his tongue lying thick and heavy in his dry mouth.

"Okay..." Mikey sighed under his breath, his gaze raking over Frank's quilt covered body for a moment before continuing, and Frank noticed that his pupils weren't nearly as dilated as they had been earlier, leading Frank to wonder how long he had dozed off for. "I'm sure you want some privacy, so I'll be in my room, but if things get bad, don't be afraid to leave, or to come get me. Gerard doesn't do well with confrontation, and I don't want you getting hurt."

"I'll be fine Mikey, I just need some answers, but I won't push him if he doesn't want to speak with me," Frank promised, even though he wasn't entirely sure if he could keep to his vow, because he hadn't come all this way to simply admit defeat so easily, but he also didn't want to drive Gerard any further from him than he already had.

"It's going to be okay Frank, even if Gerard doesn't listen right away, he won't be able to ignore you forever," Mikey murmured, but his words did nothing to comfort Frank, quite the opposite actually, because it seemed that Mikey was already convinced that this encounter wasn't going to turn out in Frank's favor, and coming from Gerard's brother, that left Frank despondent and on the verge of tears once again.

"I have to try at least," Frank sniffled, swallowing down his sorrow with an incredible effort of will, determined not to break down before Gerard had even walked through the front door, he had already cried more today than he had in the past two years for fucks sake.

"I know, and good luck," Mikey smiled weakly, his hand squeezing Frank's shoulder gently before he vacated the room, leaving Frank alone with nothing but his churning thoughts as he tried to work out what he wanted to say to Gerard when he came home.

Frank couldn't seem to organize the mess inside his head long enough to form a coherent plea which would win Gerard back though, and not because he couldn't find the words, but because he had too many emotions for a few simple sentence to convey his meaning, fuck - even his assignment hadn't been enough space for Frank to adequately do that, and that may have been a pointless waste of paper anyway, Frank wasn't sure if Gerard would ever read that or not, and it probably wouldn't make a difference in the end.

All Frank knew was that he needed Gerard; he had somehow become essential to his survival in the span of a few short weeks, and no - Frank wouldn't physically perish if Gerard rejected him for the second time, but if he continued to feel as dreadful as he did right now, Frank was sure he would wish for oblivion to end the suffering he was sure to endure if that happened to be the case.

Frank didn't know why he felt this way, or how he had fallen head over heels for the older man, but it was too late to change what had already occurred, so all he could do was hope that Gerard shared his sentiments, and his feeling for Frank would override the transgressions brought on by Frank's age and the illegal nature of their relationship.

And just when Frank's breathing had begun to return to a normal rate, and his head had ceased to feel as if a hammer was constantly bearing down on it, the awaited sound of a key turning in the lock resounded out much louder than it should have, and even though Frank had been anticipating this moment ever since his eyes had first opened, he found himself shrinking down into the cushions fearfully, his limbs trembling with a sudden wash of fear as he wrapped the blanket tighter around his shaking frame.

"Mikes...you home?" Gerard's voice called out, his tone harsh and lower than usual, and fuck - Frank actually whimpered low in his throat when the utterance reached his ears, because Gerard sounded as if he had been sobbing heavily for quite some time, his beautiful timbre that usually soothed Frank instantly grating on his shot nerves instead.

"Gerard..." Frank tried to speak up, to make his presence known, but the words wrapped around his tongue, releasing only a garbled, barely distinguishable noise instead of a coherent sentence.

But it didn't matter that Frank had lost the ability to speak, because Gerard was making his way into the living room, his body slumped forward in a defeated gesture, his messenger bag seeming to weigh him down as if it was filled with boulders instead of papers, but even though Frank noticed all of this, he pushed the observations aside, instead choosing to drink in the image of Gerard hungrily, focusing on his messy black hair, his thin lips, his pronounced cheekbones, the features still bringing a small spark of joy to Frank's chest even though they were painted with dejection.

"Frank," Gerard stated coldly, his eyes finally landing on the younger boy as he paused in the hallway, the lack of emotion in his voice ripping Frank wide open, but he pushed aside the rush of agony stubbornly, determined to hold himself together for just a little while longer. "You shouldn't be here," Gerard added on after a few moments, turning his back to Frank as he tossed off his shoes and dumped the rest of his belongings on the floor haphazardly.

"I know...and I'm sorry, I really am, but I just had to see you," Frank mumbled quietly, his hands losing their grip on the quilt he had been cocooned in, the blanket fluttering to rest on the edge of the couch softly as Frank stood up determinedly.

"Not now Frank," Gerard sighed tiredly, the utter exhaustion Gerard projected tearing at Frank's heartstrings, and in any other situation, Frank would gladly leave Gerard until he was in a better state, but he couldn't do that this time, because that would be akin to giving up on everything they had shared together, and Frank wasn't going to admit defeat that easily.

"Please Gerard, just hear me out, then I will go - I promise, but you have to let me explain," Frank pleaded softly, his eyes beginning to water once more, the tears burning his corneas as if they were made of acid instead of salt water.

"There is nothing you can say to make this better, fuck - why didn't you just tell me your age in the first place?" Gerard groaned, his body still angled toward the corner, hiding his expression from Frank's prying graze.

"You know why Gerard," Frank enunciated slowly, but when he received no response from the older man, he continued in the hopes of clarifying himself, "you would have thrown me out that night if I did, you wouldn't have wanted anything to do with me, and I had to take the chance to be with you while it was there, I couldn't risk everything with the truth back then, but I was going to tell you once I turned eighteen."

"And when is that?" Gerard asked warily, his muscles tensing up visibly underneath his clothing as if he was expecting a dagger to be jabbed into his spine instead of a simple answer.

"October thirty-first, it's only a few months away." Gerard remained silent after Frank's proclamation, his air of indifference infuriating Frank, inspiring him to lash out at Gerard, even though he regretted it as soon as he opened his mouth. "This isn't entirely my fault you know, you neglected to mention that you taught high school. If I had been aware of that fact, I would have told you sooner."

"But I didn't lie about it, you just never asked," Gerard snapped back, his body spinning on his heels sharply so he could make eye contact with Frank, and fuck - Frank's knees almost buckled under the scathing look Gerard shot him, but he pressed onward determinedly, doing his best to ignore the menacing aura surrounding Gerard, even though it was pressing down upon him with even greater force than the soil in his nightmare had.

"You're right, and I'm not trying to defend myself, it doesn't matter now anyway, but I want to fix this, I want to find a way to make this work, because there is something here Gerard, something special...please tell me you feel the same way?" Frank begged, his voice cracking so many times during his outburst of words that Frank wasn't entirely sure if Gerard had understood him, but judging by the conflicted emotions dancing across Gerard's features, he had managed to decipher Frank's meaning.

"Frank...I can't okay, not yet," Gerard retorted, each word falling from his lips slowly, the syllables carrying a brittle edge to them, as if the sound would shatter at any moment.

Frank swore his internal functions paused at Gerard's proclamation, his limbs froze up, his mind halted its frantic train of thought for the first time all day, Gerard's harsh statement filling up the empty space, the sentence reverberating loudly in his ears that failed to pick up any other sound, and fuck - Frank had known Gerard was unhappy with his deception, but still, had his one well-intended falsity truly ruined all of the affection that had previously existed between the two of them?

"You - you don't...do you hate me now?" Frank managed to stutter out, his eyes squeezing shut in a pointless attempt at removing himself from the firing line he had willingly walked into, but the lack of sight did nothing to lessen Gerard's presence at the other side of the room, Frank could still hear his feet shuffling against the carpet, as well as his almost imperceptible gasp that followed Frank's question.

"No Frank - fuck, that isn't what I meant, I could never hate you, I just don't know if there can be anything serious between us while I am still your teacher," Gerard attempted to rectify his previous statement, and even though the amendment wasn't exactly what Frank had been hoping to receive, it was an improvement, allowing Frank to drag in a delayed gulp of oxygen which his starving lungs appreciated greatly.

"Fine...that's fine, but can you at least tell me what you are thinking, I - I'm sorry, so fucking sorry, I will say it a thousand times if I have to, and I don't expect you to forgive me right away, but I need to know if we still have a chance." Frank took a careful step forward, his motions pausing when Gerard flinched away violently, his adverse reaction draining Frank off all the gathered hopes he had managed to dredge together over the past few hours, the aspirations he had for this conversation draining out of him rapidly as he sat back down with a muted thud.

Gerard's face crumpled as he observed Frank's deflate before his eyes, and much to Frank's surprise, Gerard moved this time, crossing the short distance between them in short, choppy strides, his hands clenched into fists at his side, the nails digging in so deeply that he was positive they would have drawn blood if they hadn't been chewed down to nubs.

"I don't want to hurt you Frank, but you have to understand, we can't just pretend like you are eighteen, no matter how badly I want to, and fuck - I do Frank, I really do, but I need time to think okay?" Gerard pleaded, his posture stiffening as Frank glanced upward momentarily, displaying his watery eyes to Gerard despite his shame.

"How much time?" Frank choked out, tears freely running down his cheeks, his efforts at holding them back breaking under the crushing realization that Gerard wasn't ready to take him back, not now, maybe not ever.

"I don't know Frank..." Gerard whispered, his gaze darting away from Frank's in a guilty manner that did nothing to alleviate Frank's pain, because he didn't want Gerard to feel remorse for this, he just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before, but that was apparently off the table in Gerard's mind.

"I don't want this to end Gerard...I - I really care about you, please...give me one more chance, I swear - I will tell you everything you want to know, no more secrets, just ask," Frank babbled out, each expulsion of words akin to dragging himself across a floor filled with shards of glass, but it was too late for Frank to retreat now, going back would hurt just as much as continuing forward, and Frank was already committed to this course of action, the wounds he obtained along the way were insubstantial as long as he could make Gerard listen to him for a few more moments.

"Fucking hell Frank, just stop it okay, I'm sure you have plenty of guys lining up to fuck you, so you don't have to pretend like I matter," Gerard spat suddenly, anger erasing the previous sorrow that had tainted Gerard's words, the harsh emotions painting him in a red tinted light that actually terrified Frank, which was a sensation he had never felt around Gerard before.

"No - Gerard...I would never do that to you, you are the only person I'm seeing, the only one I want to be with...what can I do to make you believe me?" Frank cried softly, his hands fumbling for his phone in a desperate attempt at proving his innocence, shoving the device in Gerard's direction stubbornly. "Here - go through my messages, there is nothing there, no other men."

"Frank...stop," Gerard sighed, making no move to even glance down at the lighted screen in front of him. "I'm not even sure why I said that, and I wouldn't blame you if there was."

"There isn't Gerard, I don't want anyone else, just you okay? You are the first person I've ever been in a real relationship with, the first person who has made me feel this way, and I - I can't lose that, not like this," Frank gasped out, trying and failing to regain his composure once more. "I'll do anything Gerard, just tell me what you want from me, I know I fucked up, but I want to make it up to you, just show me how."

"I don't know, I don't know anything anymore," Gerard whined, his head falling into his hands tiredly as he spoke. "I want to trust you, but I can't, I - my head's a mess, I just need to be alone for a little while."

"Okay...I understand, but..." Frank trailed off suddenly, his eyes catching sight of the faint red marks peeking out of the edge of Gerard's white button up shirt, the raised lines causing him to swallow heavily against the small amount of bile that leaked into his mouth as he imagined how they had come to be, "I can't leave unless I know you will be okay."

"I'll be fine Frank...I'm just so tired, and I can't think straight, but please don't cry, this doesn't change how I feel about you, I just don't know what to do right now."

"So you do care about me?" Frank asked, his lower lip trembling as his body disregarded Gerard's request, silent sobs shaking his frame as Gerard slumped down next to him wearily.

"Yeah...I do, I shouldn't, because this is wrong, and you need to find someone your own age, someone who can give you everything you deserve, but I won't lie to you and say that you don't mean more to me than you probably should." Frank shuddered softly at Gerard's subtle jab at his own falsity, but Frank deserved that, he knew he did, but that didn't mean that he agreed with the rest of Gerard's statement.

"Gerard...don't say that, you are fucking amazing okay, I still can't believe that someone like you actually wanted to be my boyfriend, so if anyone should go off and find someone better, that would be you."

"I'm a fuck up Frank, you didn't know me two years ago, hell - you barely know me now, so believe me when I say it's better for you if you get as far away from me as you can before I drag you down with me," Gerard scoffed under his breath, his shoulders slumping downward as if he didn't have the strength to hold himself up any longer.

"Stop it Gerard, fucking stop it okay." Frank's harsh tone snapped Gerard's head up, the watery sheen coating his irises bringing a fresh round of tears to Frank's own eyes. "I am okay with you being pissed at me, I am fine with you not wanting to talk to me right now, but don't you dare say shit about yourself like that, because it isn't true. I'm still just as crazy about you as I was yesterday, my age doesn't change that, so stop doubting everything just because I was an idiot who hid one fact from you."

Gerard opened and closed his mouth numerous times, his expression resembling a gasping fish for a few short moments, no words emitting from his open lips despite the fact that his adam's apple bobbed up and down heavily. When Gerard started visibly trembling, Frank couldn't help but to wrap his arms around Gerard's waist, and even though he was expecting the older man to shove him away, the opposite happened; Gerard melted into Frank's touch, his head burrowing into Frank's shoulder as his lungs nosily drew in air.

"You should go," Gerard mumbled softly, his words providing a stark contrast to his actions, but Frank understood that Gerard was confused, and his presence in his home probably wasn't helping that at all, but Frank was selfish, and he wasn't going to leave, not until Gerard forcibly made him, even though the distance might allow Gerard to reach a solid decision about their relationship sooner rather than later.

"I don't want to," Frank responded truthfully, his hold around Gerard tightening a small fraction, his mind doing its best to imprint this feeling into an everlasting memory just in case he never got to experience this situation again.

"I won't hurt myself, I promise," Gerard sighed out, finally disentangled his limbs from Frank and returning to his side of the couch with a heavy sigh.

"Will you call me later?" Frank asked hopefully, unsure of what to expect from the unstable man, but he had to ask, he wouldn't be able to function without some sort of reassurance.

"I - maybe, I don't know, it might not be a good idea...someone could find out," Gerard protested, his long fingered hands rubbing together nervously in a manner that had Frank clenching his own appendages into fists to prevent himself from reaching out and stopping Gerard's motions.

"I haven't told anyone Gerard," Frank stated firmly, "well, my friend Pete knows I'm dating you, but he doesn't even go to my school, and I only just found out you are my teacher today," Frank chuckled softly, trying to inject a small amount of humor into the heavy conversation.

"Good - that's good, um...but you probably shouldn't come over here as much, just in case someone sees, and uh..."

"I'll be careful Gerard, I promise, but does this mean that we are still together?" Frank finally asked the question that had been ripping him apart ever since Gerard had initially thrown him out of his classroom earlier in the day, his lungs ceasing to draw oxygen, his heart pausing its constant motions as he awaited the words that would heal the agony he had been in all afternoon, or deliver the final blow that would destroy Frank once and for all.

"I - I don't know Frank, this...this is illegal, but I want to be...still - I think we should keep our distance from each other for a little while, let this all sink in, but if you still want me once you have cleared your head, maybe we can work something out."

"Oh," Frank exhaled loudly, unsure of how to react to Gerard's vague response, because he had thought he made it perfectly clear that he desired nothing more than to be with Gerard, age difference or not, teacher or not, but Gerard still seemed convinced that Frank was going to change his mind at any moment. "I'm always going to want to be with you," Frank added on after a few moments of silence had passed, his hand tentatively linking with Gerard's lax one loosely.

"I hope so," Gerard murmured, his admission so soft that Frank had to strain his ears to catch that muted sentence. "Do you need a ride home, I can have Mikey take you."

"No, I'll walk," Frank whimpered quietly, the sting of rejection returning once more when Gerard made it abundantly clear that he still wanted Frank to leave, and even though Frank tried to rationalize the situation, it still fucking hurt, and he was tired of fighting against the inevitable fact that Gerard truly wanted Frank to vacate the premises. "Just...please call me if you need something - anything, I still want to be there for you, even if it has to be as nothing more than a friend," Frank pleaded, his teeth digging into the inner wall of his mouth as he tried to force the images of Gerard crying and alone from his stubborn brain.

"I will, but I'll be okay Frank, don't worry about me."

"That's sort of hard to do," Frank sighed, standing up reluctantly when Gerard did, following the older man down the hallway which led to the door, retrieving his bag on the way which had somehow ended up near the kitchen entryway, even though Frank didn't remember placing it there, his feet dragging heavily with every step, but even with Frank's obvious display projecting his desire to be allowed to stay, Gerard continued onward relentlessly.

"Are you going to be okay?" Gerard turned Frank's own query around on him once they had both paused on the small rug in the entryway, his head tilting to the side as he awaited Frank's answer patiently.

Frank honestly didn't know what to say though, because right now, with Gerard directly adjacent to him, he felt strong enough to wait however long Gerard needed him to, but Frank had a feeling that he wouldn't maintain the same positive attitude when Gerard was no longer there smiling down at him fondly, but what choice did he have?

"I don't know, I think so," Frank nodded in what was supposed to be a reassuring manner, but Gerard didn't look entirely convinced, which Frank didn't blame him for, because Frank wasn't either. "Just...don't forget about me okay?"

"I won't," Gerard stated solemnly, his mouth pulling into a frown as Frank sunk inward on himself, his eyed glued to the floor to hide the fact that he had started crying again from Gerard, the effort proven futile with Gerard's next sentence. "I'm not worth your tears Frank," Gerard murmured affectionately, his thumb wiping away the salt water staining his cheeks, causing Frank to lean into his touch hungrily.

"Bullshit." Frank released a halfhearted chuckle, his eyes fluttering shut as Gerard cupped the side of Frank's face in his palm. "Can you kiss me - please, just one more time," Frank asked without opening his lids, because despite the fact that he was trying his hardest to maintain a positive outlook, that was much easier said than done, even though Gerard hadn't broken up with him straight away at the very least, but still - the deep seated pit of dread forming in Frank's stomach wouldn't allow him to erase the possibility that this might be his final opportunity to request such an intimate action from the older man, so he had to take it, his mind silently begging Gerard not to deny him this paltry form of closure.

"Okay," Gerard responded instantly, his warm breath ghosting across Frank's nose as his head titled downward, his chapped lips grazing against Frank's gently before Frank surged forward, deepening the kiss as their bodies pressed together gently.

Frank sighed into the kiss happily, trying to ignore the bitter traces of sorrow he could taste on Gerard's skin, or the fact that his throat was closing up with the urge to sob for the hundredth time that afternoon, because despite how wonderful the sensation of having his mouth connected to Gerard's was, something had changed, they were different now, and the action that had once brought Frank so much joy only exacerbated everything that he could lose if things went badly over the next few days, but that didn't mean that Frank wanted to pull away, quite the opposite actually.

Frank would give anything to make this moment to last forever, because then all of his problems would fade away as the minutes ticked past, then he could stay here with Gerard, he could kiss him until the school year had ended and nothing would be able to keep them apart, but that was impossible of course, and much too soon for Frank's liking, Gerard stepped back slightly, leaving Frank suddenly cold and empty without Gerard's torso touching his.

"Thank you," Frank gasped out, his eyes stinging as Gerard pulled open the door, signaling to Frank that their time together was up, and fuck - Frank hoped it was just for tonight, but he knew it could be quite a while before he was welcomed into Gerard's home once more.

"It's going to be okay Frank," Gerard murmured as he placed a reassuring hand on Frank's spine, simultaneously comforting him while still encouraging him to take the few steps that would remove him from Gerard's apartment entirely, but the cracked quality to his tone nullified his uplifting message, and Frank knew that if he turned his gaze a few inches higher, Gerard's eyes would be just as waterlogged as his own, but he couldn't bring himself to witness the despair that was so apparent in Gerard's voice. "I'm sorry, but you have to go now."

Frank couldn't respond, his tongue lay dormant and swollen in his mouth, and despite the sudden, desperate urge to say something, to leave Gerard with one more promise, or a goodbye, anything really, Frank found himself allowing Gerard to push him outside, the kindness behind his actions doing nothing to alleviate the hot spikes of pain that only seemed to subdue when Gerard was present, and before Frank could so much as wave farewell to his maybe boyfriend, the wooden barrier was shut firmly, providing a physical obstruction between Frank and the man that meant entirely too much to him.

And even though Frank knew he needed to get home before his mother began to worry, because it was already getting late, and she was surely curious as to Frank's whereabouts, if she recalled his existence today that was, he wasn't able to make if any further than the steps leading down to the first level before he collapsed heavily, his tired limbs draining of all the energy seeing Gerard had imbued them with, depositing Frank onto the scratchy concrete, his back coming up to lean against a nearby wall as he tugged his shaking knees to his heaving chest.

And despite the fact that anyone could see Frank if they happened to walk by, and he was in no shape to answer questions if someone did, he allowed himself to lose control of his turbulent emotions, all of the tears he had been holding back around Gerard swelling into an out of control surge of sorrow that had Frank sobbing brokenly into his hands, his lungs burning as his body tried to find time to inhale in-between his wracking cries.

Frank attempted to calm himself down, repeating over and over again that Gerard still cared for him, that they might still have a chance at a proper relationship, but his efforts proved useless, something in Gerard's dead eyes didn't back up his words, and Frank knew this wouldn't be easy, not that any relationship between a teacher and a student ever was, but still - Frank hadn't asked for this, he hadn't known what he was getting himself into, yet he was still willing to make it work, but Gerard had to participate in the struggle as well if they had any chance at happiness.

But it seemed that Gerard had already given up the fight, and even though Frank hadn't, not yet at least, the knowledge that Gerard hadn't instantly assured Frank that they could make it thought this felt like a dagger lodged inside of his sternum, the point twisting continuously as each new revelation was brought to light, and even though Frank hadn't expected a miracle, he had hoped that seeing Gerard would at least remove the foreign obstruction pressing against his most vital organs, but instead, it had only buried the sharp edges even deeper inside of him.

Oh god...it hurt, it hurt so fucking much, and Frank needed to cry, he had to expel his internal agony before burying the remainder back down into the ever growing pile of pain that Frank carried around with him constantly, but even then, Frank wasn't entirely certain if he could bear this weight, not after having Gerard help carry the load with him for the last few weeks, but Frank had a feeling he was going to be forced to either way, and if he wanted to win back Gerard's trust, he would have to suffer through it somehow.

Hey guys ^_^

So this chapter didn't turn out how I wanted it to, so I might go back and edit it later, but for now, it will have to be good enough.

Also, I just uploaded the prologue of my new Peterick story, idk if any of my readers ship that, but it is the prequel to WBOCC, it is called Long Live The Car Crash Hearts, so if any of you are interested in that, it would mean a lot to me if you checked it out.

I've been in a really weird mood lately, and I am honestly super down, so maybe leave me a vote or a comment, they always cheer me up.

Chapter dedicated to thnksfrthvnmox

((((good vibes))))

<3 starr