• C H A P T E R T W E L V E •

the one with
the false hope: hell week day 1 pt.2

Veronica had been back from her two-hour exam hours ago, and all she'd been doing was sit on the couch and stare at the ceiling. Both Chloe and Danielle weren't home, and she was left alone with her thoughts and the idea that Allen was merely a few feet away.

She left her stuff at his place, and she knew she had to get back any minute to get them. But it's been hours and she'd been debating with herself, reaching a blank conclusion.

Huffing and standing straight, she combed her hair and tightened her fists. It wasn't that hard. She could do it. Nothing was going to happen. All she needed to do was get in, take her stuff, and leave.

She stepped outside and rushed down the hall before she could change her mind, pressing the buzzer to his apartment to quiet down her screaming thoughts.

Allen opened the door after only a few seconds, looking the same as she left him except, he had casual clothes on, jeans and a t-shirt. It had been a while since she had seen him in jeans. She looked back up at him and noticed he studied her too, and it made her gut churn. She realized that she looked cleaner than what he usually saw. Her hair was neat, and her outfit was clean. Granted, her eyebrows could use a little work but as long as she took care of the unibrow, it could wait.

"Hey," she breathed out.

"How did you do?" He stepped aside, face oddly impassive. She hated the way he was so good at putting on masks. She was oblivious of the fact she was as good at it too.

"Good..." She trailed as she got in. "Just wanted to pick up my stuff." Shu ushered at her 'CRAP' box, the only thing she left behind. It could've stayed till tomorrow - she hoped he wouldn't think much of it.

"Oh, okay."

She swallowed and took it off the kitchen island, turning to find Allen leaning against the wall, arms crossed against his chest, gaze on her. She walked back to him and he remained unmoving, his lips parting slowly as she stood closer than she'd usually stand.

She cleared her throat, offering a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded after a small pause, stepping aside and moving to open the door for her. She stepped outside and briefly waved, heart pounding when his lips stretched into a soft smile. She gulped her unease and walked away, the sound of his door closing only resounding when she reached her apartment.

She opened her door and shut her eyes, pressing her lips in a tight line.

Don't be a coward.

She dropped the box and stood back outside, shutting the door behind her. Her nails dugs inside her palm and she shook any hesitation away, taking large strides to reach his place again. She held her breath, fingers faltering right before the button.

Fuck it.

She jammed her fingers against it, realizing just now she had no clue what to say.

It was too late now, even making a run for it wasn't an option.

Allen had a frown when he opened his door again, questioning gaze searching hers.

"You forgot something?"

Veronica paused.

You're a fucking idiot, you know that? She scowled herself, her throat turning dry.

His head tilted when she stayed silent for another five seconds.

"Your bookshelf was driving me crazy," she finally said.

Allen blinked. "What?"

"Your bookshelf," she repeated, bypassing him. "You have so many books I just had to ask, did you really read all of them?" She gestured at the majestic number of spread out books on shelves, of different sizes and neutral colors.

Allen slowly followed her, eyes slightly wary as he watched her, unable to read beneath the layers.

"Yeah," he answered smoothly as if it was completely normal. Veronica couldn't relate at all. She stared at him with wide eyes like he was an alien.

"Are you serious?" She reached for a random book, reading the cover. "In Cold Blood... What is this?"

Allen's features relaxed as he held back a smile.

"It's good. I think you might find it interesting." He leaned his shoulder against the wall, hands tucking inside his pockets. "It's a true crime."

"Huh..." She skimmed the rest of the titles, understanding the appeal as she stumbled across historical, biographical, and scientific titles. "Are all these nonfictions?"

"I guess."

"Makes sense."

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "Never pegged you for a fiction kind of guy." She skimmed the rest of the books and her eyebrows shot up when she started to notice a pattern in the letters. She angled her head to give him a baffled look.

"Did you arrange them alphabetically?"

Allen chuckled. "Are you telling me you came back just because of my bookshelf?"

Her eyes widened innocently. "It was driving me crazy."

His head tilted and his eyelids dropped midway. "What's up?" He probed.

She squeezed the book back in place and turned to face him. He was still wearing his glasses, the rounded frames becoming a distraction. She swallowed. It was hard to resist him when he had them on.

"Did you eat?"

He blinked. "What?"

"Eat," she repeated, looking at his coffee table where papers were spread out across each edge. "Were you working?"

"I was, but then I took a break. Finished a book," he spoke so eloquently, and it made her nerves run haywire. "And no, I didn't eat."

She pulled a face. "You read a book when you're on a break?"

He straightened, taking a step closer. Her body froze, nerves numbing for a millisecond before they went wild again.

"Yeah."

"What's it called?" She felt like she was stalling.

Stalling for what?

"The Splendid and the Vile."

Her eyes flickered down to watch the distance between them as it shrunk. Her breathing quickened. She looked back up.

"Is it your favorite?"

"I don't have a favorite." He stopped. They were barely a few inches apart. She could feel the warmth of his body as it seeped out to heat her skin. "Do you?"

She shrugged. "I don't read a lot of books."

"Why not?"

They haven't noticed yet that they lowered their voice a few decibels, despite the silence that had already been smothering the room.

"I get bored easily. I lose focus."

Allen absent-mindedly nodded, studying her intently. She looked away.

"I talked to Caleb," she said as her fingers traced the clean wooden shelf, letting him know she was doing her part of the deal too.

There was a pause and she turned to watch him, letting her hand fall by her side. His lips slightly parted but he didn't give away anything else.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah." She shrugged. "We're texting."

A gentle frown creased his forehead. "Is it weird for you?"

The laugh escaped Veronica's throat before she could hold it back. She shook her head.

"Definitely not."

He didn't know what that meant; the emotions in his gaze vanished again and she was met with the void of his crystal blue eyes. She needed the warmth she had found in them, wondering what he was thinking about.

Silence settled and it became suffocating. He'd been enjoying her volatility, but now he felt the weight of the tension as it became more palpable. Her wide eyes stared back at him expectantly, but he had nothing in mind, his brain rendered completely blank.

Veronica couldn't handle it.

"Y'know there's a good hot dog stand down the road."

His eyebrows shot up. "Do you happen to have a watch?"

"I have my phone."

"So, you're aware of what time it is."

It was ten past eleven.

She shrugged. "Vaguely."

Allen arched an eyebrow, the corner of his lips faintly quirking up.

Veronica swallowed, her voice strained when she added: "We can just order pizza."

Allen shook his head as he took his coat off the hanger.

"No, I'm in the mood for a walk."

Ethan and Danielle were quiet on the drive back home, he had a few questions to ask but her disappointment was holding him back. He didn't probe until he parked the car by Lodge's entrance, turning the engine off and both were met with complete silence.

"So that was...eventful," Danielle commented, and Ethan bobbed his head with eyebrows shot up.

"I'll say."

No amount of drinks had been able to calm Danielle's erratic nerves, and she had spent the night hopping from woman to woman, unable to finish an entire conversation before she came running back to Ethan, who would order a drink for her the moment he'd see her approaching.

It was funny at first to see her struggling. But then he got bored, then mildly uncomfortable when he got asked out by at least seven guys. When the bartender, a beautiful woman about his age, gave him a drink on the house as he seemed like he had needed it, he tried to turn on the charm.

She had laughed and shaken her head.

"Wrong audience," she had said, and Ethan had sunk back in his seat, already readying himself for another round of Danielle's distress when she plopped down next to him.

"Right..."

Danielle had been discouraged after the twelfth attempt, especially after noticing she was getting too drunk and Ethan had been too close to ordering shots to ease his boredom. She needed him sober since he was going to drive.

"I guess I now know for sure..." She shrugged, gut sinking at the sound of her expectations unmet.

Ethan turned to look at her for a long moment before he heaved a sigh.

"Danny, don't you think you may be forcing it out?"

Danielle frowned, angling her head to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not saying you're forcing your interest in women in general. I'm saying you might have been forcing it on those women. It might be why it didn't work out." He shrugged. "Just... leave it be until it, y'know, naturally comes back again."

Danielle's brows itched together as she mulled it over. "You might be right..." She sighed, rubbing her temple. "I guess I just freaked out because it was something about me that I didn't know. You think you know yourself so well but then realize you really don't." She chuckled, and Ethan smiled, nodding.

"I understand."

He leaned his head forward at the sight of Robin waiting for them. He patted her shoulder.

"Let's go."

They stepped outside after handing him the keys and got inside the comforting lounge, the feeling of being home relieving both. Ethan walked over to Natasha's desk, recalling he forgot his key inside his apartment when he'd been in a hurry this morning. He had left a spare key at the desk after locking himself out on numerous occasions.

"Hey." Ethan offered a small smile, resting his elbows on the glass. Natasha's head shot up to him, bright blue eyes meeting his brown ones. She smiled back, taking in his state: loosened tie and cuffs, eyes tired.

"Rough night?" She asked sweetly, her voice thick with an Australian accent. Ethan held her gaze, distracted she let her hair down today, golden strands falling just beneath her shoulders. He recalled what the girls said over breakfast. He tried not to let it get inside his head, but now that it did, he wasn't able to push the curiosity away.

Natasha was beautiful and sexy; he knew that for sure. He had considered asking her out the moment they met but thought better of it, as they saw each other every day, and whatever her answer would be, none of the options would lead to a good ending.

He smiled, and her eyes flickered down to the set of dimples indented deeply in his cheeks.

"You have no idea," he mumbled, opening his mouth to ask for a key, but having the words stuck in his throat when Natasha held the shining metal with the strip 1204 before him. His lips pressed in a thin line as he took it sheepishly. She leaned back in her chair, legs crossing.

His jaw tightened as his eyes swiftly slid down her body, trailing back to her eyes as she watched him. He blinked, forcing himself to take a step back.

He cleared his throat, smiling. "Thanks." He ushered at the key and she nodded, combing her fingers through her hair. He angled his body away, but the alcohol still managed to cloud his judgment as he turned back around to face her again. Her eyes widened when he did.

"I like your hair like that."

His voice was smooth, and it made Natasha arch an eyebrow, tilting her head to hold his gaze. A corner of her lips curled up as a hot liquid pooled inside her stomach and she twisted a strand around her fingers, taking him off guard.

"Thank you."

He bit down his tongue and she smiled wider, full lips a dark shade of tantalizing red. Her fingers tucked her hair behind her shoulder, exposing her long soft neck.

He didn't expect to be affected this much by the simple act.

All it took is one simple move to take down the invisible wall each had built to prevent their attraction for one another from brewing to the surface. But Ethan still wasn't sure, convincing himself he was under the influence of alcohol even though he was barely tipsy.

A smile curved on his lips and he tapped the desk softly, willing himself to leave, Danielle dragging after him like a lost puppy.

He forgot she was even here.

Allen was a smooth talker, and it made Veronica's nerves settle into an easy pace, enjoying his company more than she had expected she would. They went for hot dogs as planned, Veronica blabbering as she ate at the same time, a bundle of nerves channeled into high energy. This resulted in her dropping her half-eaten hot dog and a fight between them when he offered the rest of his. He almost force-fed it to her, and she had given up fighting the moment he held her chin firmly. It was an unfair advantage he had over her.

They walked back to the Lodge after that, leisure steps as the conversation kept taking turns.

"You really don't remember how loud you guys were?" Veronica laughed at the mortified expression he pulled.

"I thought the walls were soundproof."

"They were far from it." Veronica wickedly grinned. "By the age of fifteen, I knew all the dirty words."

Allen laughed as he pushed the Lodge entrance open, gesturing her to get in. She mock-curtsied, grinning up at him as he followed her.

When his eyes lifted, his smile gradually faded.

His eyes narrowed slightly in confusion and Veronica followed his line of vision. Her eyes settled on the French woman sitting on the couch, and the air escaped her lungs right then at the sight.

"Elena?" Allen called out, catching her attention as she met his gaze, relief washing her face. She stood, figure tall, her blonde hair cut to just below her ear and looking so delicately beautiful it made Veronica's heart burn.

"Allen, finalement!" Her voice softly echoed as his name rolled off her tongue with an accent. She rushed to him, heels clattering against the tile. Allen was taken off guard when her long arms looped around his neck, engulfing him in a hug. He held her tight and smiled.

Veronica stood in the middle, her eyes flickering between them as they tore themselves apart from their embrace. She was unable to swallow down the lump that clogged her throat. A sharp knife stabbed her gut, smooth and quick, the aftermath numbing her body with abrupt pain.

"You've been waiting here for a long time? Why didn't you call me?"

"Well, euh... Franchement, j'ai perdu ton numéro..." She chuckled, warm honey eyes looking at him sheepishly. "I remember you mentioned you were moving here. Natasha told me you went out, I thought I'd wait for a bit." She pointed at the desk where Natasha sat.

Veronica had no idea what she said at first. Even in her later words, her accent was thick, the 'h' silent and a raspy 'r', each word carefully pronounced.

"T'inquiète pas." He laughed, taking a step back as he turned to Veronica, whose jaw slightly hung at the sound of him speaking French. "Elena, this is Veronica, Ethan's sister," He introduced, and she blinked up, forcing a smile.

There was no need for introduction, Veronica remembered her, but her being so reserved in situations where they had been a couple undoubtedly made Elena oblivious of her existence.

"Hi." She smiled, threading her own fingers together tightly to prevent any emotion from slipping. Elena met her smile with a shy one, gently tilting her head.

"Nice to meet you." Her voice was soft, and it was as if she stubbed a needle in her vein, pouring every ounce of guilt imaginable to thread through her nerves. It was confusing. She couldn't stop the feeling of embarrassment from gnawing at her insides. Her eyelids remained unblinking as she processed the feeling.

Did I misread everything?

"Hope you didn't sit here for long." Allen's arm looped around Elena's shoulder as he led her towards the elevator. Veronica's feet were rooted to the ground, her body suddenly unwilling to move. She looked around for an escape, the idea of sharing an elevator with two of them, a confined space, was terrifying enough to make her palms sweat.

"You coming?" Her head snapped up to meet Allen's gaze, a genuine smile was still dancing on his lips. The feeling intensified.

"Um..." She looked down, hastily rummaging through her purse to explain her stalling. Her eyes caught the keys to 1203, and her pulse skipped a beat at the thought. "Shit, I forgot my keys in the apartment," She looked back up, meeting their expectant gaze. "You guys go ahead, I'm just... I'm just gonna..." She gestured at the desk.

Allen chuckled. "I'm sure Ethan has a spare key-"

"Chloe confiscated it..." She shrugged. "It's Hell Week." She chuckled, inhaling sharply through her teeth to calm her agitated nerves. His smile faltered. She swallowed. "The girls are surely asleep, so I don't want to go up there and have to go back down if they were..." She trailed and waved her hand, exhausting herself with the rambling.

Allen frowned, lips parting slowly. He was about to add something, but Veronica beat him to it.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She gave them a tight smile. "Good night," she muttered, eyes flickering between them as she waved briefly. She twisted around, her smile dropping as her jaw hung, allowing her lungs to catch up with her raging heart.

Allen's frown deepened as he watched her leave, only brought back into focus when Elena gently placed two fingers on his wrist.

"Ҫa va?"

He blinked, turning to look at her. He nodded, gesturing at the elevator with a smile.

"You okay?" Veronica's head snapped up to meet Natasha's piercing gaze. She noticed it was the first time they held eye contact for more than five seconds, and it was then she saw that she was genuinely concerned.

She furrowed her brows, shaking her head nonchalantly. "Yeah, I'm fine." She smiled. Natasha's lips pressed in a tight line.

"You need a key?" She was already reaching for the drawer. Veronica angled her head to look at the elevator doors, making sure they were closed.

"Actually no." She shrugged, tapping the table distractedly. "'Night." She rushed to the elevators and got into the second one in a hurry, jaw pulsing every second.

Natasha's lips rolled inside her mouth as she laced her fingers together, observing her. She had a few things in mind to say, but some things were probably better left for better times.