warning: texts and tweets in this chapter so pls make sure you have working wifi!

• C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - T W O •

the one with
the depressed gurlz

Veronica sat upright at the sight of her flooding twitter timeline.

She hadn't thought of checking social media and had spent her entire day binge-watching Modern Family to feel something other than the sudden hollowness ripping at her chest.

Veronica's eyes bulged.

"What. The. Fuck?"

Her fingers worked in a flash as she pressed on the tweet to check the replies.

She pressed on the trending hashtags of Harrison Durant and skimmed through each tweet.

"Holy shit..."

Veronica opened the New York Times article that had been published last night. Apparently, an anonymous source divulged the story with solid proof and encouraged women to come forward as well. Veronica couldn't help but think it was a risky move from the newspaper, but since it was a published article she assumed that it had to be supported.

It was at this second that twitter blew up once again.

Germaine Bloom, an A-list actress who Veronica recognized to have worked with Harrison Durant in one of his biggest box office hits, shared her story through a collection of screenshots from the iPhone's Notes app.

Veronica quickly read through it, her blood boiling by the second.

"Fucking asshole!" She slapped her forehead in disbelief, opening her messages and texting Allen in a whim.

Her head shot back around when the door swung open and Chloe stomped inside, throwing her purse on the couch.

"I hate my life," she whined, dropping on the cushions.

"You left the door open-"

"I am on full-on panic mode!" Danielle shrilled the moment she crossed the doorway. Chloe grunted and flopped on her back.

"I want the earth to split and swallow me," Chloe said robotically, staring at the ceiling with eyes wide and empty.

Veronica blinked. "Well, damn..."

"Luckily, I got something that will help us get through this." Danielle held out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"Cigarettes?" Veronica arched an eyebrow.

"You brought weed?" Chloe's neck craned and she was ready to attack.

"No. Just ordinary cigarettes..." Danielle trailed, feeling like her reveal became anti-climactic.

"You do know they'll feel terrible," Veronica argued.

"Yes, but then they'll make us feel better!"

"No... you got it wrong. They're just terrible."

"Bring me my booze." Chloe threw her body back on the couch again.

"Hear me out," Danielle started. "Here's why we need this." She ushered at the pack, more desperately this time. "I'm getting fat because of all the ice cream, and we're certainly not getting drunk after the time Chloe did the chicken dance in the lobby-"

"We do not speak of this," Chloe was quick to snap.

"It's not a clause in the agreement."

"It will be!"

"Thank God you didn't laminate it, then." Veronica taunted and Chloe huffed.

"We just give it a shot," Danielle shrugged. "We literally have nothing to lose."

"I refuse to succumb to this filthy habit." Chloe shook her head.

"Yes, because alcohol is so healthy." She rolled her eyes, earning a glare.

Veronica dissociated herself from the conversation when she noticed something moving in the far corner of the room. She blinked, zeroing her focus when she doubted it was nothing but a mere piece of wood, thick and dark and-

Are those antennas?

"Oh shit!" Veronica's entire body jerking away and her skin crawled. "What the fuck, is that a giant beetle?" She shrieked. Chloe instinctively stood straight, keeping her feet on the couch.

"Where? Where!" She demanded, eyes wildly searching every corner.

"There!"

"Oh my God, Geralt Junior-" Danielle rushed to get the net from her bedroom.

"DAN!" Chloe screamed, jumping on to the next couch where Veronica now stood, watching the large insect crawl on the ground. Veronica gagged, shivering abruptly in disgust.

"Give me your shoe," Chloe urgently extended her hand.

"Use your own!"

"Ew!" She sneered, "I'm not gonna ruin them."

"What makes you think I wanna ruin mine?"

"Don't kill him, don't kill him!" Danielle ran inside the living room the moment Chloe grabbed the landline phone.

The girls' eyes widened as they stared at the beetle. It spread its wings, and in a matter of a second, it was flying.

A high-pitched scream tore out of Veronica's throat, Chloe following her suit as they both bolted for the door.

"Fuck, Dan, I fucking swear-" Veronica was shaking, patting her entire body the moment she was out in the hallway.

"Close it, close it, close it!" Chloe urged and Veronica slammed the door shut, gagging loudly. "If you've signed the contract it strictly forbids Dan to keep her witchcraft-"

"You don't waste a second, do you!" Veronica snapped.

"I got him." Danielle opened the door, the girls yelping and jerking away to keep a safe distance. She held out a jar with the beetle safely locked inside. "You guys can come in-"

"No. Nope. We're not going back in there." Veronica shook her head vigorously.

Danielle squealed. "Then where do suggest we do our depressed gurlz' night?"

The roof was dark and empty, save for the plastic table and chairs right in the middle. Danielle moved to flick the switch that turned the LED projector lights. They were blinding at first, and hot once it washed their skin, creating a stark contrast to the cold air. Veronica grimaced when the spotlight hit her, and she stepped aside where the light was dimmer.

"Great," Chloe muttered under her breath when the frosty wind could knock one's teeth out. "And how do you suppose the delivery guy will know we're here now?"

"Once we see his car, we'll yell at him," Danielle said the first thing that to mind just so she could shut her up.

"Or... we call?" Veronica arched an eyebrow, stating the obvious.

"I'm not calling - I already changed the order three times because stupid Dan couldn't decide if she wanted pineapple or not."

"I can't tell what mood I am today!"

Both Veronica and Chloe groaned out loud when she opened the old argument.

"This again. It's your fault, so you call."

"I can't call! You know I get nervous on the phone."

"You're twenty-four!"

"Confidence has nothing to do with age!"

"Veronica." Chloe shot her cousin a look and Veronica couldn't tell whether she was complaining or asking her to do it.

"I'm as much of a wuss as she is."

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll do it myself."

"Is that what you used to say to Aiden?" Veronica shamelessly joked as she took a seat, the dampness of the chair seeping through her pajama bottoms. Danielle cackled.

Chloe shot her a glare and took out her phone. "Ugh, no service."

"I'm telling you, it'll be fine. We'll wait until we see the delivery car and one of us gets the pizza from our apartment," Danielle reasoned.

"You unleashed the beetle. You get our pizza." Veronica didn't bother hiding the bitterness in her tone.

Danielle rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine. In the meantime, let's start this." She plopped down on a seat, taking out the pack of cigarettes and sliding it across the table for Veronica to catch. "You start."

"I'm not sure about this." Chloe's eyes narrowed and she took out the cheap bottle she made Danielle go back in there to get. She wasn't smoking even if she was on her death bed.

"Well, Aside from the fact you're missing out on a fucking great opportunity to be with Bilal, who is a hundred times the man Aiden is, my identity crisis that is solving itself but I'm too much of a coward and self-destructive, and Veronica being hopelessly in love with Allen, yes I'm sure-"

"I'm not in love with Allen," Veronica cut in abruptly, eyebrows itched in a deep frown, her heart squeezing at the thought.

Chloe arched an eyebrow, staying silent for a beat before turning back to her sister. "She's in the denial phase."

Veronica rolled her eyes. "I'm not. There's a difference between infatuation and love, okay? I don't even know him that well. I can't be in love with him."

"You don't know him that well?" Chloe gawked at her. "You probably know him more than Ethan does."

"That's not true."

"Then get to know him," Danielle pointed out the elephant in the room. She shot Chloe a sideways glare when she opened the bottle of wine and poured in a plastic cup. The latter didn't bother explaining.

"And what? Ruin the image I have of him? I'm not ready for that."

"Why do you say 'ruin'?" Chloe questioned, taking a sip of her drink. "Why would it be ruined? Why not improved?"

Veronica snorted. "Because they all get ruined at some point... Whatever image he has of me - I don't want him to be met with disappointment."

"Why? Because you both aren't perfect?"

She shrugged. "Yeah."

Chloe and Danielle both stared at her for a long moment, Veronica averted their intense gaze as the words bubbled in her mouth. She had been sitting on the news ever since they happened because oddly, saying it out loud felt like admitting that it did happen, and it was real.

"We... kissed on the New Year's." When she looked up at them again, Danielle's jaw was on the floor. Chloe noticed and was mindful enough to close it.

"Are you screwing with us?" The latter asked and Veronica snorted.

"I wish. He remembered our kiss years ago," she added, taking advantage of their stunned silence to voice her thoughts. "I feel weird about this. It feels wrong. Am I thinking about it too much? He kissed me when he'd been with Elena on Christmas. He told me he wasn't with her on New Year's. I just - I feel like I've been used."

"Ronnie." Chloe scrunched her nose in irritation. "You always feel used. If not that, it's always something else. Why can't you just let yourself be happy and let go?"

"What happened after the kiss?" Danielle found her voice, and it came out high pitched, making Veronica quietly laugh.

She shrugged. "I didn't want to talk about it, so we didn't."

Danielle rolled her eyes. "You do know it's easier to chicken out than have to deal with it at all," she said.

Veronica sighed. "Is that what you're doing too?" She asked as she slid the unopened pack back to her. "Your turn."

"I'm itching to add a clause to the agreement." Chloe gestured with her hand with a satisfied gleam. "Veronica Walton must not be such a chicken when it comes to dating."

"It's not just about being a chicken. Considering how we started. I'm not even sure he finds me that interesting-"

"No, I'll tell you what. It's not about him anymore, it's about you. You know he likes you, you know he's interested."

He did mention two days ago that she had an effect on him. She could easily admit he had an effect on her, too, but it didn't necessarily mean anything deeper.

She recalled how it felt like he wanted to talk. That night felt like ages ago.

But what if what he felt then, was different now? What if he felt something for her, but tomorrow he'd have a change of heart?

And what the hell was about that kiss?

"Well-"

"Stop. It. I'll tell you what you're doing. Because you know something could potentially happen, you're trying to ruin it. It's not about being unsure of his intentions anymore. His intentions are clear. Yours, however, are not. So, the right question to ask is why. Why are you trying to ruin it?"

Veronica frowned, mulling over this.

"Your turn, Dan." Chloe faced her sister.

"I see mode putting-out-fire-all-over-the-place is on." Danielle whistled out an anxious breath, peeling the foil of the pack and fishing a cigarette.

"Yup." Chloe lifted her drink as if to say cheers.

Danielle flipped the lighter a few times until a small fire ignited. She put the tip right on top and watched the fire swallow the paper and she inhaled - a little more than she should. A mere second later and she was wheezing, frantically coughing. Chloe burst out a laugh.

"And here comes the infamous I told you so." She wickedly grinned at her sister's pain, sliding her cup for her to drink. Danielle eagerly did, trying to wash away the disgusting taste from her throat.

"Horrible... horrible."

"Yup. Yup. Yup." Veronica nodded knowingly, fishing a plastic cup from next to Chloe and pouring herself a drink. "Off to plan B," she said, taking a large gulp.

"So." Danielle loudly cleared her throat, composing herself before speaking again. "Remember Blake, Allen's sister who came yesterday?"

"Allen's sister came yesterday?" Chloe frowned. "What for?"

Danielle shrugged. "No clue. Point is, I met her at a bar. I think it was on our final day of exams. I didn't even recognize her then!" She exclaimed like it was an important point.

Veronica arched an eyebrow. "Really? It's a little hard to forget Blake. Don't you remember when she got Ethan on her motorcycle and he almost shit himself?" She burst out a laugh at the memory of her brother squealing.

Danielle blinked. "She drives a motorcycle?" She drew the words out of her mouth slowly as she processed the thought.

"Well, anyway. What's the problem?" Chloe rounded the conversation back to its main point, or else she knew it could go on for a while.

"I think I have a huge crush on her." Danielle admitted, looking miserable as ever.

"Understandable." Veronica nodded and Chloe straightened in her seat.

"Wow. I wish they had a brother, so I'd know what's the deal with those Ford genes."

"Their dad's single," Veronica suggested just as Danielle said: "You have no idea."

Danielle heavily sighed. "I want to make a move but I'm terrified. It's so much easier when it comes to guys," she whined.

"Isn't it the same thing? I always thought it was more about the person than the gender." Veronica frowned.

"Could be... I just don't think we could have anything in common. She's just so... intense? A little scary, to be honest."

"And you're all rainbows and butterflies," Chloe agreed.

"Exactly."

"Show her your collection of spiders and the whole problem goes away," Veronica teased, but Danielle considered it. "But you know," she added, "having things in common isn't that much of a factor. I mean, it matters, of course, but it shouldn't be a deal-breaker. Chloe's been with Aiden who's as shallow as her and yet look what that got her." Chloe felt the urge to glare but shrugged instead as it was a good point. "You can find something you two enjoy together."

"Here's your award." Chloe poured Veronica more wine.

"Thank you." Veronica clacked her cup and accepted her award with a humble nod.

"Yeah, that makes sense... I asked Allen if she was seeing someone. I even asked him if he knew her type-I panicked." She elaborated with a sheepish shrug as if to say don't blame me.

"What did he say?"

"He gave me that look. The why on earth would you want to shag my sister look."

Veronica snorted. "I assume you know that look."

"Of course I know that look." She rolled her eyes and scrunched her nose when she met Chloe's sharp glare.

"Anyway," Chloe huffed. "If you did end up making a move and it doesn't work out, there are other fish in the sea." She shrugged. "It's okay. On the plus side, you're getting to know yourself."

"At the expense of someone else. Isn't that selfish?"

"But it's not like you're using her and discarding her after that."

"No." Danielle was quick to shake her head. "God, no. If this works out, of course I want it to turn into more. Well. If she wants to, of course. If I ever make a move. My brain is thinking ten steps ahead," she muttered the last part, rubbing her throbbing temple.

"See the attitude, Ronnie." Chloe ushered at her sister. "You can be insecure and take the leap, anyway."

"You live and learn." Veronica shrugged with a small smile and Chloe grinned.

"Alright." Danielle puffed out a sigh, pushing the pack of cigarettes to her sister. "Your turn."

"Okay, so." She pushed the pack away, opting for more wine. After taking a large sip, she wiped the corner of her mouth and slouched back in her seat. "I found a Tiffany box in Bilal's place today. He said it's a gift."

"Okay...? To who?"

"I don't know. That's the point."

Veronica and Danielle exchanged looks.

"Didn't it occur to you maybe that gift is for you?" Her sister arched an eyebrow. Chloe gave her a look that meant you can't possibly be serious.

"No."

Danielle looked at Veronica with wide eyes that meant can you believe this? Veronica shrugged.

"It'll come to her." Her cousin waved dismissively.

"I mean, I feel like there's always something stopping this from happening. First, it was my breakup with Aiden, I didn't want him to think he was a rebound or something. I didn't want to think he was just a rebound. I wasn't even sure of how I feel about him. But when it started to get clearer, I get an old girlfriend thrown in my face and I suddenly I remember that - oh! He does have a romantic life. And what am I even basing his feelings on? Because we had a few moments? That doesn't mean he wasn't dating. What if he was and he did find someone? What if it's Mona? What if it's been Mona all along?"

There was a pause as she swallowed more of the wine, hoping it would take its effect any moment now.

"Is it possible you're creating obstacles in your head because you're scared things will screw up like they did with Aiden?" Veronica suggested after a pause.

"Huh..."

"Feel me now?" She arched an eyebrow and Chloe deflated on the table, resting her head on her forearms.

"Couldn't Aiden have cheated and made it easier on me?" She blurted, back to questioning if leaving him was the right thing.

"You're right, 'cause mistreating you wasn't bad enough." Danielle shook her head.

Confession time was over, and silence descended among the girls, each contemplating their options to deal with their issue.

And Veronica was starting to feel panic swell in her chest as if her survival instinct were starting to kick in.

Does she know him enough to love him? What if it all went well and then he found something ugly about her and she found something about him too and instead of enjoying each other's company, they would loathe it? What if she opened herself up to him only to have him abandon her right when she grew attached? What if he grew close to her and she panicked and all she needed to do was get as far away from him as possible?

What if he broke her heart? What if she broke his?

Did she love Allen Ford?

Was it love or was it infatuation? She had this enormous crush on him since she was fifteen, but it couldn't have been love. She didn't know anything about him. She obsessed over him with the smallest detail she had of him, but the rest was left for her imagination and nothing more.

Now that she was peeling his layers, it terrified her to find something that will ruin it for her. She didn't want this to be ruined.

She felt her heart was about to implode. She needed to talk to him. But what would she say? He wanted to discuss this two days ago, but she shut him down. It was too soon. She didn't even know how she felt - how could she explain it to him?

But if they didn't talk now, when?

She fished out her phone, only to notice he still hadn't answered her earlier message.

Something in her head clicked. She didn't have to talk to him about this now - Harrison Durant's scandal was still fresh on the news.

It still felt tense between them, and she was desperately trying to break it.

Veronica smiled. It was barely a day in his absence and she already missed him so much her heart hurt.

Veronica's eyes popped. Her mind took a twisted turn.

Must. Make. Jokes.

She resisted. Mainly because she was too flustered to think of any.

Her eyebrows shot up, fingers quick to slide across the screen.

Uh...

Veronica blinked. Hard.

This was escalating far too quickly.

Veronica snorted. Seriously?

She wasn't sure what this meant, but she was going with it, anyway. This was good. This was a good distraction.

Chloe and Danielle were talking in the background, but they were muffled as she took a second to think of a reply, a mischievous grin spreading on her lips.

Her knee jittered as she waited.

Her heart leaped when her phone vibrated between her clammy palms.

Her eyes bulged. She shot her head up to look at her cousins.

"Uh..." she trailed. "I may have scheduled sex for tonight."

Chloe cackled, swaying her drink in her hand. "Honey, why you didn't have sex with him before is beyond me."