tw: depiction of sleep paralysis.

• C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - T H R E E •

the one with
the sleepless night

Veronica and Chloe were colonizing Ethan's apartment after Geralt Jr. escaped its sanctuary, refusing to step foot inside despite Danielle reassuring them all her bugs were in place.

Chloe insisted it was their right after having him abuse his 1203 Key Privileges clause for years and Ethan countered that he had been doing them a favor by blessing them with his radiating presence every morning, which lead the fight to escalate with Chloe using curse words and saying things like: "I fucking swear I'm only tolerating you out of legal obligation. It's a miracle I didn't issue a restraining order against you."

All the while Veronica had been standing restlessly by the door, and the moment she heard footsteps pass by the apartment, she leaped for the peephole. She caught Allen's tall figure standing by his door, picking out his key.

She left her relatives to tear their heads apart and swung the door open, lingering by the doorway. He angled his head to meet her gaze expectantly.

"So..." She started, body stiff.

Allen looked exhausted. His eyes seemed unfocused, his hair tousled and a hint of a five o'clock shadow on his face. He still managed to pull a lopsided smile, one that made her heart melt and her insides grow warm. He looked back down at his keys.

"Relax, Veronica," he said, unlocking his door and pushing it open.

"Okay." She nodded to herself because it had been eating away at her. She couldn't have sex with him. For one, she was still on her period, and for two... it was out of the question.

But as he got inside his apartment, leaving his door wide open, she couldn't help but feel like he easily read her like an open book.

"Wait." She gasped dramatically, and as he predicted, followed him inside. "Are you saying you weren't taking me seriously?"

"Yes."

Her mouth dropped open. He didn't even look at her when he answered, taking off his coat and neatly hanging it.

She had to admit, she was oddly turned on by whatever this game was.

She swallowed, shaking the feeling away and opting for a change of subject.

"I meant the news about Harrison Durant," she said while he took out a bottle of water from the fridge. His head was tipped back, draining the content of the bottle in one go. He licked his lips while nodding absently, throwing the bottle in a separate bin for recycling.

"I figured."

She rolled her eyes. "Then why-" she stopped herself. It was no use. "Are we still going to Elena's exhibition, then?" She asked, unfazed when he bypassed her to move to his room while he uncuffed the cuff links around his wrists.

"She canceled it," he answered over his shoulder.

Her eyes widened-but then again, it was understandable. "Huh..." she blinked back into focus and followed him, leaning on the doorway. She watched him take out his pajamas from the closet, and she worried her bottom lip as a thought flicked the chords of her insecurities.

"Are you mad at me?" She blurted.

His answer was immediate as he took off his blazer, but it was robotic. "No."

Her eyes narrowed to slits. "Liar."

He met her eye for the first time since she stepped inside his apartment. She cocked her head, ignoring the sting in her eyes as she stared at him unblinkingly, waiting. He turned his body to fully face her.

"I'm tired, Veronica. I'm not mad at you."

Despite him saying it slowly, almost convincingly, it felt like a punch in the gut. She swallowed when he turned back around.

"I'm going to take a shower," he added, already shutting the bathroom door after him.

Veronica was left in his bedroom with her thoughts and the sound of water running. She felt vulnerable and tiny and unwanted. She loathed every second of it. But she wasn't backing down. She was wrestling with herself, with the voice that had been screaming at her, her whole life, that she was unworthy and an inconvenience.

She wasn't leaving.

Without thinking twice about it, she climbed his bed and lied facing the ceiling, her hair matting the pillows, a wild curly mess on the soft cotton. She felt her stomach twisting in tight, uncomfortable knots the longer he took in the shower. She felt exposed doing this, putting herself up for rejection when she could've left and stayed in the safety of her bedroom instead, away from all of this.

But there was something about the idea of Allen withdrawing that terrified her.

The sound of pouring water started to slowly subdue until it disappeared completely. She heard shuffling and minutes later, the sound of the creaking door handle. Steam crawled out of the bathroom and he got out with a small towel in his hands as he ruffled his damp curls.

He didn't seem surprised to see her lying on his bed. He didn't even flinch or double look. He simply hung his suit in the closet, threw the towel back in the bathroom, and padded his way to the bed. He slid under the sheets, lying on his side facing her, eyelids sealed as he sighed heavily through his nose.

"Are you okay?" She whispered warily and he hummed in response.

She turned to lay facing him as well, her head resting on the back of her forearm. He smelled of soap, hair, and eyelashes wet, cheeks a little flush and it made her feel warm inside.

"Something on your mind?" She probed, voice a gentle breath against his cheek.

"No." His voice was barely a mumble against the pillow. "I told you, I'm tired."

"Why don't I believe you-" She was cut off mid-sentence by his palm as he covered her mouth, shushing her.

"Stop talking."

She blinked. Despite being mildly insulted, she felt a heavy weight drop off her shoulders. Her eyes sparkled with mischief when she watched him about to fall into a deep sleep, his breathing becoming steady, his lips slightly parting and him looking so peaceful made her feel a little bad for what was about to come next.

Her teeth sunk into the skin of his finger, catching a little flesh so it would sting more. He jerked awake, eyelids flying open momentarily before drooping at the sight of her wide grin. He flicked her nose, letting his hand fall between them, and Veronica felt ten times lighter. She reached out for his forehead, prying a few stray strands away, her nails gently grazing the front of his scalp in a slow soothing motion.

Veronica's eyes peeled open leisurely at the sound of irregular breathing right beside her. She jerked at the realization she had fallen asleep. It must have been for a few minutes, but a quick look at her phone made her know it had been a lot longer.

5:32 a.m.

She startled when the sound became heavier, louder, deeper. She blinked herself awake, twisting around and sitting up straight in bewilderment.

Allen was lying still on his back, but something was obviously wrong. His shirt was soaking wet at the front and his curls were damp. His chest heaving, his eyebrows, and eyelids were flickering, the corners of his lips turning down and she felt her chest ache as the sudden thought he was having a sleep paralysis episode dawned on her.

Her nerves tightened as her brain scrambled to remember what to do. She had read about sleep paralysis right after he told her he suffered from it - but reading about what to do and acting upon it were two vastly different things.

"Oh my God..." She scooted closer, realizing the longer she took the more he was struggling. His eyes were glazed, and slowly, slowly they started to clear - or so she felt. He was starting to whimper, only in tiny bursts as his body shook. "Allen." Her voice was soft and she gently wrapped her arms around him, soothing him as her palm rubbed circles on his chest. "Allen, hey, it's me. Veronica. I'm here." She kept repeating the same sentence, her fingers tracing his cheeks, nose, temple. Her hands were on his shoulders, his chest, his arms. She was desperately trying to pull him out of his lucid state and back to her. "You're okay. You're okay. It's not real."

Allen jolted awake, sitting up straight and blinking the images away. Veronica followed him instantly, hooking her arms around his chest as he curled his frame forward, palms wiping his face in a frantic panic. His entire body was tense, and his breath trembled. She could feel his racing heartbeat under her palm, drumming against her fingers.

"It's not real. You're okay. I'm here. I'm with you," she calmly whispered against his ear, heart fluttering when he caught one of her hand on his chest, lacing his fingers through hers.

He nodded. It was faint. He still felt shaken and a little drowsy. "Thanks." His voice scrapped to reach his tongue as his throat felt unbelievably dry. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking the feeling away.

She tightened her grip around him, and he took the hand he had clasped around his closer to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. He angled his head to face her, his vision a little blurred and he blinked it back to focus. Relief swarmed inside him when she offered a smile, it was small, but it managed to cool his nerves.

"I'll take a shower," he mumbled, closing the gap and kissing her forehead, lingering for a few seconds as he took in her smell to soothe his erratic heartbeat.

"Okay."

Veronica studied him while he took another set of clean clothes from the drawers and made his way to the bathroom, closing it after him. She hopped off the bed and headed to the kitchen, taking out a pot, pouring milk, and letting it heat on the stovetop. She opened the closet meanwhile to find a clean set of sheets, taking the time he was in the shower to change the current ones. She tied her hair up in a bun and discarded them in the laundry basket in the living room's bathroom.

When he stepped out fully clothed, she was already pouring warm milk into two mugs. She turned for a second, throwing a small smile his way before focusing back on stirring the warm drink.

"Hey," she greeted softly through the silence as Allen faltered, looking at his newly made bed and to where she stood, now moving to the couch.

"You changed the sheets?" He arched an eyebrow. She nodded, smiling up at him and placing the mugs on the low coffee table. He took tentative steps to reach her. "You didn't have to. I'm sorry you had to wake up to thi-"

Her palm pressed against his lips before he had a chance to finish his sentence. "Stop talking." She shot him a cold glare. He was mildly amused as he took her wrist to remove her hand.

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

His eyes skipped back and forth between hers when a heavy silence fell between them. Veronica felt her heart was about to burst when his eyes skipped to her lips. She swallowed.

"We never got to see Dynasties," she blurted. "So, I thought..." she absently gestured behind her.

He paused before an easy smile curled his lips. "I bought it, actually."

"Really?" Her eyes shone in bright excitement and she hopped on the couch while he turned on the TV, sitting by her side. She snuggled closer, nestling herself in his arms as they watched silently, the sun rising just outside.