• C H A P T E R T E N •

the one with
the girl crush: pre-hell week day 7

It was a Sunday morning when Veronica decided breakfast was the perfect time to harass Ethan; Chloe would be pissed to have him inside after a week of peaceful breakfast, and so she'd have her back even if she was irrational.

"It's just a few lines of code!" She shrilled in frustration.

"Then do it yourself!" Ethan countered.

"I don't know how to write Python!"

"You majored in it!"

She'd been hogging Ethan the moment he stepped in after his morning run, trying to convince him to write her part of a software project she had due tomorrow, and he'd been adamant about turning her down to teach her a lesson about leaving herself till last minute. In her defense, she tried. But she wasn't going to cram four years and a half' worth of studying in a day for a course she only took out of obligation from her curriculum.

She huffed. They had been through this conversation countless times, and Ethan still brought it up to win the argument knowing fully well it infuriated her. "We are the same major, and you still pull the ignorant card that Computer Engineering is just about software."

"...Isn't this what computer means?" Chloe interjected impassively as her fingers swiftly typed on her phone screen.

Ethan patted her shoulder, and began with an air of condescendence, "Honey, leave it for the pro-Oh!" A breathless groan tore through his throat as Chloe elbowed his rib with a straight face.

Veronica sneered, "Couldn't have said it better myself." Ethan rolled his eyes, and she put her arms on either side of her waist, adamant on winning. "Come on 4.0 GPA, if I ask you a Hardware question, will you be able to answer?"

His eyes narrowed, as Veronica knew the Hardware courses weren't his forte, but they were definitely hers. "Yes."

"But if you didn't, you'll do my part?" She tested, and Ethan rolled his eyes. She knew deep down he was competitive, she just had to press the right buttons.

"As long as you ask a fair question, from a course we both took."

Veronica blinked. "Hold that thought."

She rushed to the coffee table to pick one of Danielle's textbooks and tore a blank page. Danielle's hands flew in the air as she looked at her in disbelief, but Veronica ignored her as she took a pen and scribbled hurriedly, simultaneously making her way to where Ethan sat. When she was done, she slapped the paper against Ethan's chest and handed him the pen.

"Sign so we can proceed."

He snatched the paper from her grip, eyes skimming the content, "Whoa, hey, I want something in return if I win." He put the paper on the table and was already adding his end of the deal to the mediocre contract.

In the situation where Ethan Walton wins, Veronica Walton will owe him two hundred dollars for writing her part of the project.

Veronica's eyes popped when she read the amount. "I don't have that kind of money!"

"Then you better choose your question wisely," He grinned as he signed, handing her the pen. Her jaw tightened as she scribbled her signature and slammed the pen, both glaring at one another.

"Shoot," Ethan wore a smug look as he crossed his arms. Veronica contemplated for a moment. "Remember, any violation of the contract will lead to fifty dollars fine (1)."

Danielle was waiting in anticipation, as it was sadly the most entertaining thing she had seen since the beginning of Hell Week, Chloe took out another toast and was in the process of spreading jam.

"What's the difference between a MOS and a CMOS?" She arched an eyebrow, asking the most trivial question on purpose. Ethan scoffed, arms crossed against his stomach as he opened his mouth to answer. He paused when nothing came to his mind, and Veronica's eyebrows shot up expectantly, a small smile threatening to slip as her eyes gleamed.

Twenty longer seconds, and he still had no answer.

Veronica's smile was spreading wider by the second. Ethan's eyes narrowed.

"...One of 'em has a C."

She shot him a cold stare as he lifted his chin proudly.

"This only just works in my favor."

"It is a difference."

"I knew you were gonna be a dick about it," She held the paper up and aggressively pointed at a word. "It clearly says here technical question. Emphasis on the word 'technical'!"

"Well, it doesn't say the answer has to be technical."

"Are you fucking kidding?"

"You wrote the fucking contract!"

"Language," Chloe hissed in annoyance.

Veronica's eyes narrowed in pure annoyance, biting the inside of her cheeks to stop herself from lashing out. "You're being unreasonable, and you know it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. But since we seem to have reached an impasse, I suggest you ask another question."

Veronica was one comment away from choking him.

"Ethan, answer the goddamn question in technical terms! What does a CMOS have that a MOS doesn't!"

"A C!"

She threw her arms in the air as her brother stood his ground, determination written across his face. She muttered under her breath as she pinched the bridge of her nose, Danielle eating her dry cereal like it was popcorn.

"Un-fucking-believable."

"Language." Chloe's monotonous warning barely fazed her.

She plastered a tight smile on her lips. "Since you're being a bitch, here's another question. What's the difference between Verilog and VHDL language?"

That was another basic question and quite a risky move, but she wanted to pull the humiliation card.

"Language as in coding language? As in your specialty?" Danielle asked with wide eyes, and Ethan's narrowed.

"It's a Hardware language."

Veronica sneered, "It's still coding."

"Wait, hold up, if you understand your major, minus the coding part," Chloe addressed, rolling her eyes at Ethan. "Why do you constantly talk shit about it?"

Veronica shrugged, leaning against the island. "Cause I'm paying a shit ton of bucks for concepts I find interesting enough to learn through google, but not enough to make me want to spend the rest of my life learning."

She cocked her head to give Ethan an expectant look, holding his intense glare. His jaw tensed, eyes rolling. He waved his hand as he went back to his mug of coffee, now turning cold.

"Email me your part."

"YES!" Veronica aggressively pumped her right fist in the air, flinching as a sudden prickling sensation radiated through her upper arm. Chloe frowned, and Ethan snorted loudly at his sister's pain. She smacked his forehead with her left hand, earning a glare before she composed herself and sat back down with a smug grin.

"What is the difference, though?" Danielle's brows itched together, staring at Veronica expectantly.

The latter shrugged with a snort, biting down her toast. "I have no fucking clue."

"How's studying for finals going?" Ethan asked, the bitterness in his tone dripping off his tongue. "Is Chloe being a pain in the ass?"

"Be thankful you're still able to have sex in peace," Chloe casually answered. "Wait for tomorrow and tell me if any woman will still be willing to come back to your apartment."

"Ew, can we not have this conversation over breakfast?" Danielle's lips curled up in disgust, and Ethan rolled his eyes.

"Wait speaking of, how come Natasha knows of your hookup schedule?" Veronica had meant to ask him about it since Friday. Ethan's brows pulled together.

"What hookup schedule?"

"She brought an envelope to your apartment the other day," Danielle mentioned. "What's in it."

"Just last month's rent receipt I keep forgetting. Why?"

"You asked her to personally give it to you?" Veronica quirked an eyebrow.

"No." Ethan was confused as to what this was about.

Chloe's nails softly hammered against her mug. "What brought that up? You think she's interested?"

He opened his mouth to comment about leaving him be, but Danielle snorted. "Natasha? In Ethan?"

He arched an eyebrow, staring at her flatly. "Is there a problem?"

Danielle gave him an incredulous look. "Honey, she's way out of your league."

"Careful, now Ethan won't shut up about how he's everyone's league except for that one woman he met at the bar." Veronica rolled her eyes.

Ethan's shoulder sagged as he recalled how disappointed he had been. "Man, I was really bummed when she told me she's only into girls."

Danielle frowned, snatching the last piece of jam layered toast from Ethan's plate, earning a sharp glare. She shrugged, talking with her mouth full. "What's the big deal? I'm sure all girls are into girls," She swallowed. "That's why we call them girl crushes."

Veronica and Chloe exchanged looks, Chloe arching an eyebrow as she stared at her sister, who was completely oblivious as she stuffed the rest of her cereal in her mouth. Ethan furrowed his brows as he thought it over.

"Girl...crush?" He questioned hesitantly.

Veronica's lips curled in a smile, resisting the urge to laugh as she finally gave them a solid point to question. "What?"

Danielle's chewing slowed the moment her brain caught up to the situation, blinking in slight wariness as she looked at the girls. "What?" She argued, her mouth full. "Don't you think so?"

"Well, I do have girl crushes," Veronica started, knowing full well where she was going as she probed Dan. "But I don't think I would make out with a girl if given the chance."

Danielle's eyebrows sharply furrowed, gulping down her food abruptly. She shot her head back and forth between Chloe and Veronica, her neck craning. "You serious? Never?"

Chloe was watching, lips gradually parting as she inspected her sister further. Veronica was waiting for the snap, her head tilting as she pressed her further with amusement twinkling in her eyes. She was getting weirdly excited about this.

"No... I didn't try to make sure, but till now, I don't think so..."

Danielle was stunned, unable to believe that she was the only one among them to think it. She'd always appreciated girls, and she thought all of them appreciated one another. She had so many crushes in the past she wouldn't be able to count them on her fingers. It was more of admiration, appreciation, and even envy at times.

"What, how? It's called having a girl crush."

"It's called being gay." Chloe's hands opened wide before her, resisting the urge to shake sense into her.

Danielle snorted as she shook her head, "I'm not gay! I wish I was, but I mean come on - I'm so not gay."

"You wish you were...?" Ethan was confused, not in the sense of 'why would someone wish to be gay?' but in the sense of 'aren't you, if you wish it?'.

"Hold on a sec. I gotta ask. When you said you'd so do Natasha, would you really, if given the chance?" Veronica addressed the issue for Danielle's mind to catch up to prove their theory.

"Who wouldn't?" Danielle's eyes popped open. She was becoming slightly desperate for any one of them to agree, to relate. Slight panic started to bubble inside her chest, her cheeks heating. "But I mean, I'm sure I'm attracted to boys."

"Wow..." Chloe was stunned. She had seen many indications but thought she was reading too much into it, and now that it was starting to unravel, she had no words.

"You can be into both." Veronica shrugged.

Danielle shook her head, chuckling. "I don't think so..."

Veronica shrugged, not wanting to push her, sending Chloe a warning look when she sensed the latter wanted to dig deeper. Ethan was unsure about how the conversation should carry from there.

Veronica scanned her brain for anything to say to ease the awkwardness of the situation and ended up begging Chloe to let stay here as it was Sunday, and Allen would surely be home. Chloe didn't resist much since she was thankful for having her back on Friday. But as the day progressed with Veronica and Danielle picking at her nerves bit by bit, she finally lost it the moment she walked in on them sitting on a towel each, slithering across the tile to see who could cross the finish line first.

She kicked Veronica out by nine after a long lecture about their immaturity and irresponsibility.

Allen opened the door, waiting for an explanation as she stood before him, holding her 'CRAP' box and backpack swung on her shoulder, the blanket by her feet.

"We violated the rules and now my box, and I have nowhere else to go."

His lips rolled inside his mouth, and his eyes gleamed in amusement, stepping aside to let her in, taking the box off her as she struggled to get the blanket. She noticed he had his eyeglasses on, wearing navy blue pajama bottoms and a grey t-shirt, curls more disheveled than usual. She swallowed, noticing she was looking into another side of him, one that was casual and lazy, and she felt warm and fuzzy inside.

She tore her eyes away before she could get caught after he placed her box on the table, standing straighter and looking down at her.

"Thanks," she mumbled, inhaling his scent and clenching her teeth to stop herself from taking a step closer, his warmth inviting.

He smiled, "You need anything?"

Well... She snapped her thoughts shut, clearing her throat and shaking her head. His calmness was taking her off guard, and she didn't know how to deal.

"I'm OK. I'll just finish the slides and get back," she tried to casually say, but it was becoming hard to breathe properly and do that at the same time. She inhaled sharply and cleared her throat again, heat seeping in her cheeks in embarrassment. She held his gaze, eyes wide and jaw tight while he stared down at her, his features smooth and relaxed.

He nodded, taking a step back, breaking the tension by putting distance and oxygen finally reached her lungs.

"I'm here if you need me." He gestured at the couch before her, book sitting on the cushion, and her eyes skimmed the large bookshelf behind him. She constantly wondered what he had there, but stopped herself from peeking even though it wasn't private. She just wasn't comfortable.

She nodded and sat back down on the couch, opening her laptop and flicking her wrists to stop her legs from fidgeting. Silence settled, and it was suffocating. She didn't know if Allen felt how tense she was, because he looked so peaceful, dark-rimmed eyes staring down at the pages and flipping them every few seconds.

After a while, she was able to tamper down her agitation by reminding herself she had a final tomorrow and still haven't memorized the slides properly, which made her brain block everything out at the thought. An hour and a half later and Veronica sighed heavily as she rubbed both her temples, wrists cramping from the built-up tension, and she flicked them repeatedly. Rereading the slides for the third time, she was endlessly thankful her first final was a software engineering course that relied heavily on the project, which she sent to Ethan, and the exams were focused more on simple concepts regarding modern processes and tools for working on software projects.

She twisted around to lie on her stomach, head buried in the pillow. "I need fresh air," She groaned, but it came out muffled.

Allen tore his eyes away from the book he was reading, frowning at her state in slight amusement. "We can go out if you want."

Her heart leaped at the thought, but she huffed, lifting her head up to face him. "I can't. I'm supposed to study."

He shrugged, "You won't be able to study either way."

"I know but if I go out I'll feel guiltier."

"Alright, I'll pretend to understand that logic," he trailed and her lips tightened in a thin line, dropping her head back on the pillow. "If you want... I know a game we can play," He offered. Veronica sat straight, her eyes shot to him in sudden interest.

"What game?"

"We play pretend."

"What's that?"

"Well," Allen began as he made his way to sit next to her. She frowned, making room for him and moving the blanket out of the way as he sat on her right. "When we were younger, my sister used to hate on literally anything. Not that she stopped, but anyway. She wanted to travel the world in a matter of hours, and since we didn't have the luxury to do that, my moms would play pretend with us."

He leaned his head back against the cushion as he spoke, her eye catching the curve of his Adam apple. She looked back up at him when he turned to her. Her eyes shined in amusement, resisting the urge to stare.

"You have to close your eyes for this." His voice slightly lowered.

Her heart picked up its pace. She couldn't think of a day that would come where she would be used to him being this close.

"Okay." She cleared her throat, resting her head back as well and hesitantly closing her eyes, sudden unease crawling under her skin as it felt weirdly intimate.

"So, the game goes like this." His voice was now a tingle against her ear. "You tell me a place you want to be, and then we imagine we're there."

Veronica chuckled. "This is too weird."

"I know, but you have to take it seriously." She can hear the laughter in his voice. "Pick a place."

"Any place? Even fictional?"

"Of course. It can be anything you want."

It was incredibly intimidating, being blinded, and only lead by the confidence in his voice. Even if they weren't doing anything, leaving a distance of half a foot between them, she still thought it was intimate.

"Okay. No, wait... Okay." She smiled, shifting uncomfortably. "Alaska."

Allen frowned, snorting silently. "I tell you to pick any place in the universe, and you choose Alaska?"

"Hey, this is my happy place. There's no judgment in the happy place." She playfully scowled, and he chuckled, the sound shaking her ear.

"You're right, sorry. What do we do in Alaska?"

"We play around with the snow, with huskies. We ride the sleds."

"We ski?"

"No, never again." She laughed. Allen's smile faltered at the thought. "I want to see penguins, too. And polar bears!"

"Are we going to die in your happy place?"

"My happy place would be much happier if you did."

"You have a dark sense of humor."

They both laughed.

"Okay..." He cleared his throat. "What else?"

"Hot chocolate on cold nights. Sitting by the fireplace and staying awake talking..." Her voice was low as her imagination ran wild, unaware of how her statement sounded. Allen held his breath for a brief moment, and silence settled. He swallowed.

"Are we alone in Alaska?"

She heard the smile in his voice, despite it sounding hoarse. It made her heart pound loudly against her ribs. Her eyelids peeled open for a fraction, needing to regain her senses to be able to tamper down the hot flush pooling inside her blood.

Yes, she thought but didn't say.

She hid her ragged breath by laughing quietly, angling her head to him.

Her smile dropped entirely along with her gut when she saw him already watching her.

His eyes were oddly a darker shade even under the scrutinizing light of the living room, hiding away any trace of emotions she needed to see. She swallowed, a corner of her mouth lifting, heart pounding when his eyes dropped down to her lips. She bit the inside of her cheeks to stop herself from wetting them.

What is happening...

"I thought the rules were to keep our eyes closed." She smiled smoothly, but it faltered when he didn't reciprocate.

The tension grew, and her urges were becoming harder to control. All she wanted to do was reach out to touch him, get closer, and close the gap. Her nerves suddenly numbed when she felt the distance between them shrinking. She blinked, thinking it was part of her imagination but thought again when she felt his breath fanning her nose.

Her thoughts were running haywire, a jumble of incoherent words with only one of them popping in bold inside her brain. Kiss me, she wanted to say after a long moment of silence. Both were hesitant, both were unsure, both weren't aware of the existing pull between them before now.

"I should... probably finish studying."

She had no clue why she felt the urge to say it. The moment it slipped past her tongue, she held a sledgehammer and rammed it against her brain until no cell was left - which to her weren't even functioning in the first place, anyway. Wasn't it what she wanted? Was he interested, or was she reading too much into it?

Allen swallowed, Adam apple sliding as he did, and her eyes flickered to it, snapping back up to meet his gaze. He nodded.

"Okay," he breathed.

Gravity was pulling her against the couch, her body unwilling to move. She swallowed, tearing her eyes away from his intense gaze and pushing through the resistance as she sat straighter. Allen's eyes flickered down to the scar, becoming visible to him. He dug his fingers against his palm to stop himself from touching her.

Veronica angled her head to him, a smile stretching on her lips and making his lungs ache. "Thanks," she gently spoke, and he couldn't do anything but nod.

"Of course."

____________________________

(1) Per the I Don't Trust You Until You Sign the Fucking Contract Agreement.