OCTOBER 2007

Alex stood at the top of rocky cliff, overlooking a harsh and cold sea.

The waves crashed against the cliffs with the fury of an enraged god, determined to tear down everything in its path. Alex's hands are closed into fists with such great force that he can feel his fingernails digging into his palms. They might be bleeding but Alex doesn't check and neither does he care.

The wind is sharp and cold; it hits him like a wave of freezing water. He looks down and watches the white foam and dark blue water crash against the dull brown rock. He stands there, watching it without blinking until the cliff erodes away over the course of a million sunrises until the edge of the cliff is barely an inch from him. Alex tries to take a step back but someone firmly grabs hold of his shoulders so that he is unable to move.

Alex turns around and finds Jem holding him in a steel grip, glaring at him with eyes as lifeless as a cold moon. His mouth is thinly pursed and his lip downturned as if he's in pain. His brown hair is damp and it sticks to his face sullenly. Something was wrong, Jem never looked like this.

Alex looks beyond him and sees his mom and Ronan, both watching him coldly, shooting daggers with their eyes. Alex looks back at Jem and tries to ask him what's going on but his voice doesn't work. He feels like someone has stuffed cotton down his throat.

Jem sneers harshly and Alex's stomach twists uncomfortably because it's an expression that Jem just doesn't wear. Before Alex can react, Jem pushes him backwards.

Alex falls into the water with a low splash. He doesn't close his eyes on the way down and he barely registers the harsh contact or the freezing water consuming him. He watches the top of the cliff and a second later, Jem, his mom, and Ronan's faces appear, overlooking the cliff. They sneer at each other and Ronan might have aimed a 'Fuck you!' at him but Alex loses consciousness.

Alex's eyes fly open.

He can see his study table in the faint moonlight. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes tightly before sleep escapes but his fingers are trembling and his heart racing faster than he can keep up with. He pulls the covers up to his chin even though he is covered in cold sweat.  He sticks a pillow between his legs and cuddles it like a teddy bear.

*

For some reason, Alex dresses nicely the next morning. He picks out the plaid shirt he wore to the dinner with Jem and Ronan and borrows his mom's eucalyptus leaf facewash. He washes his face with cold water and tries to smile at himself in the mirror. The mirror Alex must have been a good actor because for a brief second Alex's spirits are lifted a little.

*

"You're not going to give up on the Ollie, are you?" Jem sighs.

Alex rubs his sore elbow. It stings a little but Alex is used to it. He places one foot on the skateboard and narrows his eyes and dramatically announces, "I never give up."
"You sound like a character out of a really, really bad video game."

"Sir Alexander Buchanan II, saviour of England." Alex grins at Jem who rolls his eyes. Alex pushes forward and flips the skateboard a tad too early and the top of the board grazes his crotch. Alex yelps and ends up tripping over the board. He holds out his arms in front of him as he falls and ends up grazing his palms.

Jem rushes over. Alex is sitting on the ground, dejected and irritated, and his palms burning. Jem kneels next to him and takes his hands softly. He examines Alex's grazes palm, bleeding a little and covered with dust. Jem sighs and looks at Alex. "Told you so."

"Hey, I'm injured." Alex tells him with a toothy grin. He tries to play down how much his palms are actually stinging. "You can be nice to me."

Jem rolls eyes. "Get your ass up."

"I said 'nice'."

"Are you saying that wasn't nice?" Jem says, smiling thinly. He helps Alex to his feet and retrieves Alex's skateboard and his own. He stops a few feet from Alex, holding both the skateboards. His gaze gingerly runs up and down Alex's body and settles on his hands. He bites his lower lip. "You're sure you're okay though, right?"

Alex looks at him. "Yeah, Jem."

"You're an idiot." Jem tells him but he smiles faintly.

"Says the idiot." Alex replies.

Jem pretends to hit Alex with his own skateboard.

*

"I don't believe it." Alex's mother laughs. She flips the menu and scans it briefly before looking up at Alex, still smiling. "We could order half the menu."

Alex looks at her over his own menu. "I don't think we should do that."

When Alex's mother returned home from work, she announced that she was absolutely in no mood to cook and they should definitely go out and would Alex please get off his lazy butt and get dressed. They drove to a Mexican restaurant that she had been recommended by a colleague. It was called 'Little Mexico' and was tucked into a busy street, surrounded by other cafés and restaurants. When they entered the brightly lit restaurant, they were applauded and had confetti thrown on them by the staff. Turns out, they were thousandth customers to have dined here and were therefore going get a free meal- no matter what they order.

Alex and his mom picked a red and yellow booth and his mom quickly ordered a piña colada for herself a Coke for Alex. They got a lot of steely looks from other customers. If only they'd come half an hour later.

Alex asked for a plate of hard shell tacos with extra guacamole and his mom ordered a huge chicken burrito. The food came quicker than Alex had anticipated. In fact, even his Coke hadn't arrived yet.

"It looks delicious, doesn't it?" His mom asks. She spreads her napkin on her lap and picks up a fork and knife. She picks at her burrito, waiting for Alex to dig in.

"Yeah." He replies, trying to sound enthusiastic, trying not to judge her choice of cutlery. He asks the waiter about the whereabouts of his glass of Coke and the sullen-faced waiter returns a minute later with an unopened can.

"Bon appetite." His mom smiles at him.

*

As Alex had anticipated, Jem's initial enthusiasm for school had died pretty quick.

He is trying to work on some math homework he 'forgot' to complete and hasn't touched his lunch. Ruth picks a fry off his tray and munches on it thoughtfully. Jem looks distressed as he tries to work on his problem until he finally gives up and sighs. "I forgot how much I hate math."

Alex snorts. "Honestly, who doesn't?"

"You want me to help you out?" Ruth asks, eying Jem over her sandwich.

"No, it's okay." Jem mutters. He examines his problem again with his eyes narrowed in concentration .

"You sure?" Ruth says.

"Yeah."

Alex frowns at him but Ruth only shrugs her shoulders and says, "Suit yourself."

Jem massages his temples, still not taking his eyes off his book. He groans and closes it, with his pen still inside and picks up a sandwich. He lifts up one of the breads and examines it, pinching his nose. "What the hell is this?"

Alex, who hadn't eaten his sandwich yet, takes a bite of it. Still chewing, he says, "it's ham."

Jem scowls at his sandwich and keeps it back on his tray. He crosses his arms in front of the tray and lays his chin on top them, looking at his tray sadly. "How is a vegetarian supposed to survive here?"

"Eat the grass outside." Ruth suggests.

"Good idea." Jem agrees.

Ruth picks another fry off Jem's tray. "There's still fries."

Jem shrugs.

Ruth smiles at him and reaches out for another fry but her hand freezes mid-air. She turns to face them both. "Oh, guys, by the way. Halloween party is at my place."

"Halloween party?" Alex demands. He has a brief image of high schoolers dressed in sexy nursemaid and playboy bunny costumes. "What?"

Ruth cocks her head to one side. "It's a tradition. You go trick-or-treating then you come for the Halloween party. I would say 'that's where the fun begins' but it's not like trick-or-treating isn't fun."

Jem raises his eyebrows and lifts up his head. "Wait, yeah. I've seen teenagers trick-or-treating."

"What?" Alex gapes at him.

Ruth grins at Jem. "Yes. Then everyone meets up at one place and we dump all the candy together and eat it in one night until everyone either throwing up or dead."

Alex stares at her, horrified.

"It's a school tradition." She says in a matter-of-fact voice.

Jem's eyes are twinkling. He drums his fingers on his math textbook and grins. "So... you spend you evening trick or treating then you throw it in a pile to share with everyone?"

Ruth shoots him a disappointed look. "Okay, it sounded stupid to me too the first time but we did it last year, okay? And it was at this girl's house- her name's Angela, even I don't know her properly- but everyone basically crashed there after trick-or-treating and she has this small pool in her house, okay? So everyone dumped their loot into in and jumped in."

Alex raises his eyebrows. "That sounds wild."

"It was great until Jackie Harper threw up in there and then everyone had to stop."

Jem shudders.

"So, it's my house this year." Ruth says, looking at them both determinedly. "And you're both coming."

Jem says, "Sure," and at the same time, Alex shakes his head and says, "Not happening."

Both Jem and Ruth turn to face him. Ruth rolls her eyes. "Alex, I know you hate everyone and you're too cool for parties and all but it's really fun, okay? And Jem is coming, aren't you, Jem?" She glares at him.

Even if a Jem had decided not to, he would have crumbled under her glare. He briefly glances at Alex before saying, "Yeah."

"See?" Ruth exclaims. "He's coming! So you're going to come too."
Alex didn't know what to do so he took a bite of his sandwich. He knew there was no way he was going to win this argument. He had no plans for Halloween, anyway and if Jem and Ruth were going to be with him, how bad could it be? There was only one problem. "Do we have to dress up?"

Ruth shakes her head sadly. "Jesus Christ, it's a Halloween party. No, you don't have to dress up! Come naked."

"I think you do have to dress up." Jem supplies weakly.

Alex shakes his head at Jem before he looks at Ruth pleadingly. "Like actual costumes?"

"Obviously, dumbass. You can start when you want but you've got to be at my place by nine o'clock max, okay? Because that's when we'll combine all the candy."

"What do people even dress up as?" Jem muses.

Ruth shrugs. "Anything. There was this guy last time that came stark naked and glued leaves to himself all over claiming to be a tree."

"My spirit animal." Jem sighs.

"What were you?" Alex asks Ruth.

She looks delighted to be asked that question. "Black Widow. I even bought a wig."

"And what are you this year?" Jem asks.

Ruth grins. "It's a surprise." She tries to wink at him but she looks like she's squinting in pain.

"Well, I guess that means we're going to have to start working on our costumes." Alex says, emphasizing on 'costumes' to make his friends realise how stupid it sounded but neither of them got the hint.

Jem had a faraway look in his eyes. He meets Alex's eyes and forces a tight lipped smile before looking away.

*

"I don't know about you but I'm really inspired by the naked-tree-leaf guy." Jem muses.

"You could be the tree and I could apply glue on my privates and roll around in the grass." Alex agrees.

Jem frowns at him. "That would hurt to take off."

"Then I guess I'll never take it off." Alex sighs sadly.

"Good idea." Jem says. He rakes his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I'm not wasting too much money on a Halloween costume. You know that, right?"

Alex chews at the inside of his cheek. He looks at Jem. "Yeah. But you won't have to."

Jem frowns at him. "What?"
"Ruth told me about this place we can rent costumes from."

Jem seems to consider this. He shuffles the playlist and forwards the first song that starts playing. He settles on an old Green Day tune before he replies, "Rent them?"

"I'm guessing. She said she rented her costume from there too. You want to go check it out or something?"

Jem shrugs. "Yeah, okay. Do you know where it is?"

Alex does not. He mentally calls himself an idiot but Jem is right there to do it for him. "I'll call Ruth and ask her. Let's hit it tomorrow night, okay?"

Jem nods.

*

Ruth gives him the address of a large rental store on Windsor Street. Jem picked up Alex after work and they drove down to the store, not sure what to expect.

It was a crowded store- much more crowded than Alex would have thought but then again, Halloween was coming. An employee tried to help them navigate through the endless racks of wizard's robes and onesies but left them to themselves when she realized they were clueless about what they wanted. Jem kept checking prices and mentally noting them down. He turns to Alex, looking relieved. "It's not that expensive."

Jem looks irritable. "Thank God for that."

Alex decides to not comment on that but Jem is looking past him and suddenly his eyes light up. He meets Alex's eyes and grins. "I got it."

"You got what?"
Jem nods at something behind Alex and he turns to look.

The Star Wars section is small but it has the essentials. In spite himself, Alex mentally connects the costume to the characters then rolls his eyes at himself.

They had even put up a small handwritten board but Alex read it as Star Wads. Jem tugs at Alex's jacket sleeve. "Let's go."

They walk up to the section, passing a few other teenagers Alex is pretty sure he has seen around school. All this time, Jem leads him and doesn't let go of his sleeve. Jem finally lets go and remarks, "This is neat."

Alex recognizes a Stormtrooper, Leia's white gown and Jedi robes. He can almost feel Jem radiate waves excitement.

Jem whistles. "This is neat," he says again.

"Very." Alex agrees.

They stare up at the costumes for a few more seconds until Jem turns to him. "You don't think they'll let us try it, will they?"
Alex looks around. People are noting down prices and sizes but there seem to be no trial rooms around. He shrugs and shakes his head. "I guess not."

Jem check the rental tag on the nearest costume and raises his eyebrows. "Ten dollars for twenty days."

"That's reasonable, I guess."

"I guess." Jem says but he doesn't sound too sure. He fumbles with the tag with faraway look on his eyes and doesn't spare a glance to the costume itself. Alex hated seeing Jem like that.

"Hey." He nudged Jem.

"What?"

Alex loops his arm through Jem's and smiles at him. "Come on, let's have fun, okay? I think Leia's bikini is calling you."

Jem lets out an abrupt breath of laughter. He lets go of the tag and grins at Alex, one corner of his mouth rising higher than the other. "Well, I have the body for it."

Alex laughs.

*

Neither boy rents Princess Leia's bikini.

Jem and Alex spend almost an hour at the store, slowly browsing through all the costumes. They met another boy at the Star Wars section who claimed to be from their school. His name was Omar and he did not like Han Solo. Alex judged him quite harshly.

Alex decided to be a Stormtrooper and Jem decided to be a Jedi. Before finalising it, Alex removed the helmet from one of the costumes and tried it on. He immediately felt trapped and sweaty and his breath fogged on the plastic. He hastily took it off and placed it back, shuddering. He was surprised at how fast his heart had started to beat.

"Jem," Alex tugs on Jem's sleeve. Jem- who was admiring his Jedi robes- looks at him. "Yeah?"

"You be the Stormtrooper."

"What? Why?"

"The helmet is too claustrophobic."

Jem looks at him blankly for a second before he shrugged. "Show me."

Alex removed the helmet he had tried and handed it to Jem who handed Alex his robes and tried on the helmet. He looked so odd, with his jeans and Stormtrooper helmet that Alex smiled a little and then stopped abruptly, realizing that he would have been looking the same a minute ago.

"It's pretty okay." Jem says, still wearing the helmet.

"So we're trading places."

"Okay, fine." Jem replies through his helmet. Alex can't see his face properly but he's pretty sure that Jem is grinning.

Jem shoots Alex with a finger gun. "Pew pew."                                 

Alex rolls his eyes. "Do I pretend to be dead now?"

"If you would be so kind."

"You're an idiot, Jeremy." Alex smiles thinly. If they were not in the store, Alex would have probably pretended to be dead but there were too many people around and Omar was watching them conspicuously, grinning and shaking his head.

"I'm your idiot, Alexander." Jem says in a dramatic voice. He clutches his heart as if he is participating in a play and exclaims, "I was a cold hearted Stormtrooper before I met you but now..."

Alex can't help but play along. He tries to fight the smile threatening to appear on his lips and holds the Jedi robes in front of chest. "I know our love is impossible but..."

"Stormtrooper and Jedi..."

"They'll never accept us."

Alex was suddenly blank. He wishes he was wearing the helmet instead so that Jem couldn't see his face, not the other way around. He suddenly wanted to hide behind his Jedi robes when Omar sighs loudly, "Aw, you guys are so cute."

Both Jem and Alex turn around to face him.

"What?" Jem asks in a muffled voice.

Omar whistles and raises his eyebrows. "Wait, so you're not...?"

"Not what?" Jem demands.

Omar grins sheepishly. "Aren't you guys, like, dating?"

Alex can almost feel his face burst into flames. He gulps and looks away- at anywhere but Omar or Jem.

Jem- who is still wearing his Stormtrooper helmet- stutters weakly after a short silence, "What?"

Omar nods seriously, smiling slyly as if he knows something that they don't. "What? Everybody thinks you are."

Alex feels like a huge lump of cotton is stuck in his throat. He wants to deny it, he wants to say, 'No, we aren't dating,' but his voice doesn't work. He looks at Jem, trying to see through his helmet, wishing that his friend wasn't wearing it so that he could see his reaction- was he absolutely disgusted? Was he amused? Was he shocked? Or like Alex, his heart felt like it was crawling up his throat.

Omar seems to realize his mistake when neither Jem nor Alex says a word. But neither of them contradicts his statement either. He raises his eyebrows and says, "So you're not? Damn, that's awkward. Sorry."

Jem still doesn't take off his helmet. He wrings his hands together as if he isn't sure what to do with them. "It's okay."

Alex struggles to find his voice. "Yeah."

Omar casts an amused look at them. He shoves his hands into his jack pockets and grins. "Okay. See you around."

Alex nods while Jem just says, "Yeah, you too," as Omar walks away without selecting a costume. So Alex was right- Omar was just hanging around to watch them.

When Jem finally takes off his helmet, his face is flustered and a little sweaty. He carefully places the helmet back into place and runs his fingers through his hair before he looks at Alex and manages a tight lipped smile. "Let's do it?"

"Do what?"

"Renting the costumes, Alex. Do you remember why we came?"

*

"You're trick-or-treating?"

Alex's mom is astonished when Alex tells her of his plans on Halloween. She eyes him keenly over her bowl of soup and asks, "You haven't done that since you were like, ten."

Alex plays with his spoon. He tries to drown the pieces of carrot in his soup and send little mini tidal waves over them. "I know, but it's like a tradition here. Supposedly. That's why we rented costumes."

"I didn't know you rented costumes."

"I told you."

"No, you didn't."

"Must have slipped my mind." Alex says casually but he wonders how it was possible. He distinctly remembered telling her.

"What are you dressing up as?" His mother asks.

"Uh, I'm a Jedi."

"A what?"

"Nevermind."

"No, tell me."

"It's a Star Wars thing."

"Oh. Okay."

Alex nods but doesn't say anything. He idles around with his soup for a little while, wondering how odd it would be to see high schoolers going door to door and asking for candy. He was going to be one of them so he better get used to the idea, he supposed. Back home, Alex would never have though he would trick-or-treat ever again in his entire life. Things change, and he most certainly had. Dressing up as a fictional character and roaming around in public- Alex wouldn't even have considered the idea. It was so preposterous that the very notion of it would have made him laugh. But that was before he moved. Before he met Ruth. Before he met Jem.

"I should buy some candy, then," his mom muses.

*

"Trick-or-treat!" Jem exclaimed.

The stern-faced woman that had opened the door eyed him suspiciously before muttering an ill-tempered, "Wait a minute, kid," before she disappeared inside her house.

Alex and Jem stood on her porch which was decorated with gnome and tiny Ancient Greek sculptures. A stone Medusa had fungi on her chest. It was revolting and Alex wondered if the woman ever had any guests. In fact, he was surprised that she had candy. Judging from adornment skills and her warm nature, she seemed more of the type to run around children, chasing them with a broomstick.

Alex pokes the tiny Medusa with his lightsaber. "This is the most beautiful house." He whispers to Jem.

Jem smirks. He had ditched his helmet not even fifteen minutes in, claiming that he was going to punch himself him the face if he had to wear the helmet all night and stuffed it into his bag of candy. His hair stuck up in all directions and his Stormtrooper outfit, a faded but blinding shade of white made his hair look darker and his skin warmer. He looked like a really, really excited Stormtrooper celebrating yet another day of not being force choked, Alex thought. It should have been impossible for a guy to look attractive in a Stormtrooper costume, for God's sake, but Jem managed.

Alex could only wonder how the Jedi robes suited him but his mom had laughed when he came out of his room. Jem had said he looked great, so Alex had a little hope.

"I need tips from her." Jem muses.

Alex grins at him. "This is your night to befriend her."

"I'm never coming back here again." Jem shudders.

They burst into a fit of laughter and hush abruptly when the woman reappears, holding one Mars bar. She hands it Jem. "Share it," and closes the door on his face.

Jem stands still, holding the chocolate in his outstretched hand. He grins and shakes his head. "She's generous."

"So generous."

They walk away from the house and Jem unwraps the Mars bar and takes a huge bite before handing it to Alex. "Is it time?"

"Wait," Alex rummages through his candy filled bag pack and fishes out his wristwatch which he had ditched because obviously, he couldn't wear it with his Jedi robes. He studies the face of the watch and says, "Five to nine."

"Should we go, then?" Jem asks, taking the chocolate back from Alex.

"I don't know." Alex chucks his watch back into the bag pack. He regards all the candy that he and Jem have collected over the past two hours. He hasn't seen this must candy since the early years of Halloween when he, Ronan and their third friend PK used to cover almost two miles in radius, not missing even one house. It was probably the most exercise any of them got in the entire year and Alex recalls being sick the next few days after the initial excitement of Halloween died down and his candy was over.

He looks at the various Snickers, lollipops, popsicle stick and a handful of other cheap sweets of different colours, all sticky and sweet and only then does he realize how much he missed it. It reminded him of being a kid.

Alex glances at Jem. "I don't want to share this candy."

Jem sighs. He offers the last remaining Mars bar to Alex and finishes it off when he declines. He puts the wrapper into his candy bag and takes in a deep breath. "You realize how violently and painfully Ruth will kill us if we don't attend?"

"I do." Alex sighs. He is pretty sure Ruth would beat him up at school and he feels a little guilty about wanting to ditch her but one more look at his majestic bag full of candy and Alex knows that there is no way in heaven or hell that he is going to share it with strangers from school who will, if the last few years are taken into consideration, will puke in it.

Jem is looking at him. His gaze seems to constantly mobile, travelling all over Alex's face-his forehead, his eyes, his lips- as if he is trying to read his mood. When he meets Alex's eyes, his eyes stay fixed on his as he had never been looking at anything else. The smile he offers Alex would have lit up the dark side of the moon. "Shall we skip it?"

Alex hadn't expected to hear that. Jem was a loyal friend and he was a friend to Ruth but he didn't argue. He grinned at Jem. "Thought you'd never ask."

*

Since they had no means of transportation, Jem and Alex walked the empty streets adorned with cheesy Halloween decorations, looking for a place to park. When Alex checked his phone, he had three missed calls from his mother and two from Ruth. The latter he ignored out of sheer guilt but he called up his mother and told her he was at Ruth's house.

They saw a few other kids trick-or-treating and once, a guy dressed as a werewolf pranked them by jumping out a bush he had crouched behind and Alex had made the most high pitched, terrified and unpleasing sound that a human could make and Jem, who had been unfazed by the prank had almost peed himself laughing. It had been considerably less fun when the werewolf joined him and high fived Jem before he crouched behind his bush again, waiting for his next victim.

They would occasionally pass kids in costumes and started up a game where they recognized the characters. Jem won, obviously. (Alex had decided to stop playing after the score became 5-11.)

When they got too exhausted, they decided to finally, finally stop for the night but there was no place around so they raced a mile back to the Bowl.

They threw their bags into the hollow trough and climbed in after it.

The concrete felt hard and cold and Alex considered pulling his robes closer to himself and wrapping them around himself likes shawl when Jem nestled next to him, his body firmly pressed against his and Alex suddenly did not need any more warmth.

They had never actually been at the Bowl at night, and the experience was something else. The area was even more deserted than usual and Alex could hear faint music coming from somewhere, mingling with the night like and sweetly tingling his ears. He could feel Jem's plastic costume jabbing him in the arm but it wasn't uncomfortable and even if it was, he wouldn't have moved.

"I have more candy than you." Jem says. He pulls his bag onto his lap and rummages through the contents.

"No, you don't." Alex replies as he goes through his candy himself even though he had done it before.

"Yes, I do. You don't have any Reese's. I have three."

Alex glances into his bag and quickly grabs two Reese's. He chucks them into his bag before Jem can even lift his arm. "Not anymore, you don't."

Jem glares at him. "Give it back!"

"No way."

"Yes way!"

"Gerard Way!"

Jem reaches across his bag for Alex's but Alex places it out of Jem's reach. He grins at his friend's outrageous face but his grin doesn't last long when Jem leans across Alex and violently grabs his bag pack. He fishes out the Reese's along with a packet of Haribos and chucks them into his own bag. He keeps his bag at his side and hands Alex's bag pack back to him with a satisfied smile.

Alex glares at him but doesn't say a word. He just unwraps another Mars bar and which Jem plucks out of his hand and takes an outrageously large bite of. He grins at Alex through a mouthful of chocolate.

Alex doesn't even bother to fight him, knowing that he will lose. He folds his arms and glares at him, leaning back into the concrete and leaning a little into Jem. "Jerk."

Jem smiles and hands him the Mars.

*

Alex isn't aware of how much time has passed but he and Jem feast on the candy like there's no tomorrow. They share their stashes, comparing them with each other and boasting about anything which the other didn't have. When Alex's mom calls him and tells him to come home immediately, they decide to call it a night.

Jem offers to drop Alex home and they walk together, with their shoulders brushing every now and then. Jem complains about how he won't be able to eat breakfast tomorrow and Alex agrees heartily even though he knows he's going to eat more candy when he gets home.

When they reach Alex's street, Alex doesn't immediately walk home. He and Jem stand a few houses away, behind Mr. Ferguson'a empty house, idling around, neither of them quite wanting to leave the other's company.

"I don't know what to do with the rest of the candy." Jem complains.

"Give it to me."

"You have enough to feed three families."

"Or one hungry me."

"Touché." Jem smiles thinly. "Seriously, though. What a waste."

Alex shrugs. "I have this guy in my Woodworks whom you could sell it to. He'd pay you like, a hundred dollars if you like."

Alex had meant it as a joke but Jem's face darkened. He stepped back. "Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. To make side money?"
"I already work two side jobs." Jem says in a steely voice.

Alex curses himself. Talking about money made Jem on guard and his pride flared up at once. "Look, I was kidding."

Jem is quiet for a few seconds. He avoids meeting Alex's eyes though his eyes find other places to look at- Alex's feet, his hair, his lips- anywhere, but his eyes. "You really think I need to make money or what?"

"No, Jem, I was kidding. I don't know if you do."

Jem purses his lips and finally looks at Alex. "No, I don't."

"Okay." Alex is surprised at the desperateness in his voice but he wants at end this conversation as soon as possible. "Good for you. Why are you being weird?"

Jem bites his lip, not in uncertainty but as though he is trying to stop himself from saying something. When he finally speaks, his voice is throaty, "Do you pity me or something?"

"What?" Alex stares at Jem.
"Answer me honestly. "
"That's a really stupid question."

"You always buy stupid nutrition bars from the shop," Jem rakes his fingers through his hair and looks away. His hands, Alex notices are jittery. "You never buy those. I mean... tell me?"

Alex stares at his friend. "Jem, I don't pity you."

"Everybody either pities me or leaves me alone, Alex." He says. He doesn't sound like he's whining but more like he is stating a fact he is used to. Alex regrets ever bringing up the topic because if anything puts Jem on edge, it's his family's financial status.

Alex couldn't take it anymore- Jem's constant acceptance of the fact that all his friends had moved on from him, that he was just a plain, boring person who was not worth anybody's interest or friendship. In his point of view, nobody was at fault and he was just caught in the storm and the way he accepted it, like a fact well established bugged Alex so much that he  reached out tenderly and took Jem's hand in his.

Jem looked up at him in surprise, his lip still quivering. Alex squeezes his hand tightly, drinking in the curve of Jem's palm and his familiar touch. His eyes don't leave Jem's and Jem's eyes don't leave his.
When Jem does nothing but stare at Alex, his expression well hidden in the dark, Alex internally panics a little. He was Jem's friend- wasn't this what it was about? He was the only friend Jem had and he was going to ruin in. Just a few seconds more and Alex was going ruin it. It hit him then; it hit him like a tidal wave, devastating him over and again and Alex tried to halt it as he bit the inside of his cheek, wanting to taste the metallicity of blood on his tongue. He would rather chew up his skin and reduce it to ribbons of scarred tissue than ruin his friendship with Jem and God, he almost had.

Loathing himself, Alex begins to take back his hand when Jem reaches out one steady arm and takes his other. He entwines his fingers through Alex's and  with his thumb, he draws lazy circles on Alex's palm.
Alex wasn't sure who moved first but suddenly his lips were on Jem's.
He tasted Jem; he tasted sweet candy and sharp edged reality. Alex's eyes were closed for the shortest time- it lasted the shortest time a kiss could- but all the colors in his head blended together, into something highly defined and so beautiful.
It was too short- a peck, really- when Jem pulled back. Alex opened his eyes slowly as if he was waking from a good dream whose end he hasn't witnessed yet. Alex imagined that his lips were still puckered from the kiss that didn't last long enough.

Jem breathes out heavily.

Alex's head feels like it's going to explode. New stars are being born in his head right now and old ones are exploding in the most glorious supernovas and he almost isn't sure of what is doing. He quickly lets go of Jem's now perfectly still hands and steps back.

He has nowhere to shove his shaking hands into so he balls them into a fists.  Jem watches him carefully- his eyes difficult to read and cheeks dusted with red.

"Good night." Alex yelps. His voice sounds odd to his own ears.

"Night. See you." Jem answers in a carefully measured voice but even his voice is an octave higher than usual. He sounds a little calmer than Alex but he quickly shoulders his bag of candy and walks away briskly without looking back.

Alex watches him go, trying to steady his breath. His phone starts ringing- probably, his mother calling to check up on him- but Alex lets the phone ring. Nothing could be louder than the ringing in his head.

-this chapter is dedicated to the lovely @lilacsmiles for her constant support for the story and her comments that always made my day. I'm on my phone so I can't properly dedicate this to you but I promise I'll properly do it tomorrow. you go, mate.-