CHAPTER TWENTY | REJECTED

Lauren

AKALA ko madali lang mag-alaga ng bata. Mayabang pa ako dahil sanay naman ako sa charity works. Pero iba pala kapag related o sa malapit na tao sa akin ang aalagaan. Walang katapusang paghahabol at pagsaway ang ginawa ko maghapon kay Iona. Iniwan siya sa akin ni Ritter dahil may three-day business meeting ito sa LA.

Nang sabihin sa akin ni Ritter ang tungkol sa business meeting niya, pumayag ako agad kasi pagkakataon na para mapalapit sa anak niya. But I didn't expect his daughter to be difficult to handle. Isang araw palang lumipas ay pinagsisihan ko na ang naging desisyon ko.

"Iona, please stay away from the well." I heaved a deep sigh when Iona didn't listened to me. Napausal ako ng dalangin na bigyan pa ako ng mas mahabang pasensya. Dalawang araw pa ang kailangan ko bunuin kasama niya dito sa bahay ni Ritter. May balon malapit sa nilalaruan ni Iona at doon pa niya pinalalakad iyong mga Barbie dolls na nilalaro.

"I'm sorry, Lauren," sambit sa akin ni Ritter. Magkausap kami ngayon via Facetime at katatapos lang ng meeting niya. He called to check if we were still alive. "She's not always like that. I think Mom or Cady did or said something to give you headaches."

"It's okay, and it's just gossip, Ritter. We don't have evidence that they're brainwashing your child." I at least give them the benefit of the doubt.

Gusto ko iyon idugtong pero baka ma-offend ko si Ritter. Baka isipin niya na kinakampihan ko ang nanay at half sister niya imbis na siya. Alam ko na pwede naman niya iwan kay Ms. Julia si Iona ngunit dahil nag-volunteer na ako, hindi na iyon nangyari.

"Two more days, and I'll be home. Please bear with us, Lauren."

"No worries." Tiningnan ko ulit si Iona at narooon pa rin siya sa malapit sa balon. "I have to check on your daughter before she hurts herself. Let's talk later, and good luck with your meetings."

"All right. Take care there."

"You, too." I smiled at him before ending our Facetime.

Agad ko nilapitan si Iona at sinabihan na huwag siya maglaro sa may balon. I have to make an improvise platform for her dolls in exchange. Nasusubok din ang critical thinking skills ko sa ginagawang pag-aalaga at pagbabantay kay Iona ngayon. Good thing holiday long weekend ngayon kaya hindi ko kailangang mag-absent sa office.

"After this, let's take a bath, okay?"

"I don't want to take a bath."

"We're going to my parent's house today. You should take a bath." Iona loves my parents' house, so I easily persuade her to take a bath with me.

Pagkatapos namin maligo ay binihisan ko na si Iona at inayusan ng buhok.

"Are you going to marry Ritter?" tanong ni Iona at saktong tapos ko na siya ayusan ng buhok.

Kaya naman lumuhod ako sa harap niya saka pinagsalikop ang kamay namin. "You should call him Dad or Papa or Daddy from now on, Iona."

"Why? I'm calling you by your name. Why can't you call him by his name too?"

Huminga ako nang malalim. "Because he is your Dad, sweetie. He's doing his best to get close to you, Iona. I know he's busy, but he loves you more than anyone else."

"More than you?" Nagulat ako tanong na iyon ni Iona. "Mama said that you're going to steal Ritter from us. That you're a bad woman."

Tama nga si Ritter. May sinabi nga si Ms. Julia sa bata kaya gano'n na lamang biglang pagbabago nito sa pakitungo sa akin. I remember that Iona used to like me and how affectionate she was with me. But everything changed since Ritter took the full custody from Ms. Julia. I thought she's nice but I think it's because she's already fed by Ritter's Dad issues.

Ritter said, they were happy back then. Tapos nag-umpisa ang lahat nang kumikita na nang malaki ang tatay niya. When Ritter and his father established RJM Corporation, Mr. McDowell got engaged and consumed by gamblings, infedility and substance abuse. Si Cady ang produkto ng infedility ni Mr. McDowell na tinanggap ni Ms. Julia kaya lang mas tumindi hanggang sa sumuko na ang ginang. She left her husband with Ritter and they live in a shelter until it got burned down.

Hanggang doon palang ang na-kwento sa akin ni Ritter at ayoko naman magtanong. Gusto ko na kusa siyang mag-open up gaya ng paghihintay niya sa akin na ibukas ko ang aking sarili sa kanya, sa kanila ni Iona.

I breathed out a heavy sigh.

"I'm not a bad woman, Iona. I care for you and your Dad always. I'm not going to steal your Dad. I hope you give me a chance to prove myself to you."

What I like about Iona is her expressive eyes. Pareho sila ni Ritter at iyon ang salamin ng emosyon nilang dalawa. Kahit hindi ko magawang basahin, alam ko na naniniwala siya sa akin.

"What are you saying to her?" tanong ng mapangutyang tinig na gumulantang sa amin ni Iona.

"Mama!" Agad akong iniwan ni Iona at lumapit kay Ms. Julia. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at aktong babatiin siya ngunit hindi ko na nagawa.

"Are you brainwashing my granddaughter? For what purposes? Isn't it enough that you wrapped my son around your finger?"

"I'm not doing that, Ms. Julia. I have no control over Ritter's decision -"

"Save it, Lauren. I'm going to take Iona with me."

"But Ritter left her with me,"

"Yeah, that's how negligent my son was. He left his daughter to a total stranger like you. You're a bad influence on his child."

Ayoko sana pumatol pero sobra naman itong inaakusa niya sa akin. "How did I become a bad influence on her?"

"You're an ex-convicted criminal!"

"I already paid for my mistakes, Ms. Julia!" sigaw ko na dahilan ng pag iyak ni Iona. Hindi ko na nagawang pigilan ang sarili ko. She's using my criminal records to brainwash the kid.

"You see? You're scaring her now." Pinili kong manahimik na lang at hayaan na umalis si Ms. Julia kasama si Iona.

I tried to keep my cool, but in the end, I failed.

NATIGIL ako sa pagluluto nang may biglang may mag doorbell. Wala naman akong ine-expect na bisita at alam ko na may sarili susi si Summer. I don't remember I order anything either. To conclude everything, I turned off the stove and the gas and then washed my hand before attending the door. When I opened it, I was shocked to see Ritter behind.

I am lost entirely and throw myself into him. I missed him so much, and I forgot that we were outside. "Hey, how are you?" Mahina niyang bulong sa akin.

"Did you go home and see Iona first?"

"Yeah. I got home earlier than my original schedule, so I spent much time with her." Huminga nang malalim si Ritter at pinaglaruan ang takas na hibla ng aking buhok. "This is the remaining time I have, and I will spend it with you."

After the incident between me and Ms. Julia, I decided not forced anyone to accept me. Since Ritter's mom got Iona, I have no reason to stay at his house so I immediately went home. Nagka-usap kami nang parehong araw at abot-abot ang paghingi ni Ritter ng tawad sa akin. Kesyo hindi tama ang ginawa ng nanay niya pero nanay pa rin niya iyon. At the end of the day, it's still his mom whom I should befriend.

Inaya ko siya papasok sa loob ng apartment at hinainan ng niluto ko. Kagagaling ko lang sa trabaho at ito agad ang ginawa ko dahil nanawa na ako sa fast food. Masyadong busy sa hotel si Tamika kaya hindi na nagagawang magluto.

"Did they know that you're going here?"

"I don't need to ask their permission, Lauren. I tucked Iona in bed before coming here, so I'm free."

"I don't want them to think I wrapped you around my finger again." Hindi pa rin maalis sa isip ko na inakala ni Ms. Julia na napaikot ko na at na-control ang anak niya. "As much as possible, I don't want to deal with any troubles with them. If we need to fix your schedule, we'll do it. I'll continue trying to prove that I mean no harm to you, Iona, and everyone."

Matagal nang naka-stuck sa utak ko ang mga nasabi kong salita kay Ritter. I waited for two days to say it all to him since his mother completely closed her door for me. Hindi ko alam kung kailan niya ulit bubuksan para sa akin. On the contrary, I'm not closing my doors and I am open to talk about it. Laging sinasabi nila na may tamang panahon para sa lahat.

I'll keep waiting until the time has finally come.

"You don't need to prove yourself, Lauren. I like - no, I love you because you are you. I'll deal with them, and let me protect you." Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang lumuhod si Ritter sa aking harapan. "This ring isn't the most expensive n the world, but it bears a promise of loyalty, and I will be faithful to you no matter what happens."

Parang may kung anong humaplos sa puso ko matapos marinig ang mga iyon. Pero parang ang bilis. Few months ago, we met, he got my hopes high then he decided to court me. Tapos sinabi niya sa akin ang tungkol sa Mama niya at iyong kay Iona. Now I'm dealing with his mom who loves to sterotype me always.

"Are you sure about this?" Hindi ko maiwasang itanong sa kanya. "We're not yet through with our problems with your Mom and Iona, Ritter. We have to consider your daughter's welfare too. If this thing between us will be okay with her."

"As long as we're together, we can solve anything, Lauren."

Hindi naman sapat na basta magkasama kami ay kaya namin ang lahat. Love is a choice, and marriage is something that we should take seriously. Hindi naman sa iniisip ko ang worst pero mas maigi kung kilalanin pa namin ang isa't-isa muna at ihanda iyong mga taong nakapaligid sa amin. Lalong lalo na si Iona at kinabukasan niya ang nakataya sa desisyong gagawin naming dalawa. I don't want to break his heart but I have to say it anyway.

"I'm not yet ready for this, Ritter. I'm so sorry."

SABADO nang maisipan ko na mag-grocery kasama si Ritter at Iona. Napanood ko kasi sa Youtube na magandang bonding iyong pamimili na tulad ng ginagawa namin ngayon. At saktong ubos na mga stocks ko kaya ito na lang sinabi ko na gawin namin kaysa gumala na naman. Tapos na kami sa mga gamit sa aparment at narito na kami sa hilera ng mga pagkain.

"Your Dad has a first wife?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Ritter.

"They're not married. It's not registered. Dad just protected his girl best friend - Dashiel's mom."

"So, he's not your real brother."

"Yep, but water is thicker than blood. We're connected, and like what Daddy did to his mother, Dashiel's side job is to protect me." Hindi na ako ang main dahil may pamilya na si Dashiel. Mas importante na iyon kaysa sa kung anong meron sa amin. "Dash is still a little pissed at you."

"Yeah, I know. I told your brother I wasn't sure, and here we are now."

Tumawa ako.

"Dad," sambit ni Iona saka hinila ang laylayan ng t-shirt ni Ritter. Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti. Dad na ang tawag ni Iona kay Ritter na malaking improvement nang maituturing.

Matapos ko i-reject ang proposal ni Ritter, inayos namin ang lahat at pinaliwanag ko maigi sa kanya kung bakit ako tumanggi. Inintindi naman niya ang mga dahilan ko at sunod naming pinagtulungan ay iyong sa welfare ni Iona. Hindi pwede na laging na-fe-feed ng negativity ang utak ng bata at nag-re-result iyon ng trauma na ayaw naman namin mangyari. Ritter talked to his Mom but nothing's change. May bad blood pa rin sa akin si Ms. Julia at mukhang matatagalan bago iyon mawala.

"What is it, honey?" tanong ni Ritter sa anak niya.

"I want pasta for dinner. The one that Lauren cooked the other day."

Yumukod ako at marahang hinaplos ang braso ni Iona. "I'll cook it for you," sabi ko saka ngitian siya. Nagsisimula kami ulit sa umpisa ni Iona at tingin ko'y may improvement naman na.

"Stay with us for the weekend." Pakiusap ni Ritter sa akin matapos buhatin si Iona.

Tumango ako bilang sagot. Tumingin ako kay Iona at inirapan niya lang ako. May improvement naman.

Konti lang.