Abir :)

As I sat down on the swing, I started recalling every word spoken by mom. And nowhere I found her wrong. She was right when she said it's me who is behind her miserable condition. Her smiling face flashed in front of my eyes, her giggling voice kept ringing in my ears. My heart was screaming in pain.. She was looking so happy today, I was so happy, everything was perfect..

I remembered her face while running away from me, because she was a little scared due to the Instagram post.. I pulled out my phone and logged into my account.. I scrolled down the comment section, I was not reading any comments, I was just staring at the screen.. I went back to the post again and zoomed in..

Her eyes had thinned because she was smiling, she was looking so happy, touchwood! I edited the caption and added an evil eye emoji which she had forgotten to add. Though I never believe in all this, but whatever happened today, I didn't want to take any risk.

The bullets got into her right chest, God knows what would have happened if she would have moved a little towards the right, it would have directly pierced her heart. My breath choked just by imagining it.. Now I realized how much she went through just because of me.. Till yesterday, I was not regretting killing Andrew Robert, I was regretting the consequences.

But now I started regretting every single action. Breathing felt poisonous to my lungs. I pulled my hair in frustration.. "Bhai...! " I snapped my head towards the hospital door, Sharanya was calling me.. I ran in her direction, she was looking a little scared..

"The doctor is telling to shift her to another hospital, her condition is worse and they can't treat her.. They need high professional doctors , but here it's impossible to treat her with less equipment.. So they are saying to transfer her to another hospital, " she informed me, I went upstairs. Mivaan was talking with the doctor..

"Can we take her to Ahmedabad ? We have our private jet! " I said to him, Mivaan stared at me.. "I think we should shift her to Mumbai, " he suggested, "In Ahmedabad we have our own private hospital, it would be better.. That's better according to me, " I said, "If you have a private hospital, then you can shift her. We have taken out the bullet, but it has infected her badly. Due to heavy blood flow her situation is not good as well.. I will send my medical team with her, but please shift her to a big medical immediately, " he said, I did a node..

"I am filling all the formalities, " Mivan said & left.. I was feeling extremely scared about her condition. And it's making me scared because she told me she didn't want to live. It's intolerable, whatever shit she went through was intolerable. But I can't let her go, she was strong enough to survive without me.. But I can't, I won't..

I went to the corridor near the operation theatre.. "Mr Rajvansh, it would be better if you sanitize the JET and I will allow only one person with us, the patient need a hygiene atmosphere, " the doctor said, "I will go with her, " Maahira aunty said, I wanted to go but it's her mom & I had to listen to her..

"Badimaa, I will go with her, " Mivaan said, aunty took the paper from the doctor and signed on it.. "She is my daughter and I would be the one making the decision, " she said sternly, she's clearly upset with us.. Mivaan was going to oppose but Sharanya stopped him.. He left from there, I went behind him ..

"What are they thinking? Yes, we are responsible for her condition.. But we never wanted something like this to happen yarr! First Ishani aunty blamed you, now badimaa is treating us like this... " He said, showing his disappointment.. "It's okay. It's about Mishti, so everyone is concerned.. Leave it, " I said, brushing his shoulder.. He sighed & nodded...

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We reached Ahmedabad by flight, aunty had already arrived with Mishti.. They had hospitalized her, we went directly to the hospital.. I was feeling like I was leaving in a whole different planet where she doesn't exist. Here she's just unconscious and I was feeling so strange , I couldn't imagine what would have she gone through when she was living in a world thinking I don't exist.

Now I could understand her every pain, her every word.. It's haunting me, it's killing me. And I started feeling that I don't deserve her.. I could never make her happy and now I had pushed her into a situation where she's fighting for her life. The three brothers were with me, Sharanya was with Ayansh bhai.. I told both of them to go home because it would be crowded in hospital.

We reached the hospital, she was admitted in the first floor.. I went upstairs, papa and Manvik uncle and mumma has arrived also. They came here by the chopper .. I stood outside of her cabin, my heart dropped instantly seeing her conditions.. So many dripping pipes were connected to her body, the constant noise of the medical instruments were making my heart heavy. She was just laying there being unconscious.. Her heart beat was dropping at some point.

It felt like my heart was connected with her, every time her heart rate was dropping, I was feeling suffocated. She has been in danger for a lot of times, but never have I ever felt this much scared. And what's making me guilty that she took my part of bullet into her. It's two bullets, right into her chest, it must have affected her lungs, I hope it won't infect her hand..

Hearing the noise of quarrel , I snapped my head in that direction.. It's Maahira aunty who was having an argument with Manvik uncle.. I went towards them.. The three brothers were hearing her silently... "I have every rights to know about her whereabouts! How could you just send her somewhere without any proper guards when you know you have enemies all around... " She yelped at uncle , I sighed in distress..

At this point, I felt like both the mothers were acting impulsive and making the situation worse for us. Because whatever happened had already happened, nobody can change it anymore.. "I don't have any personal rivalry with anyone, I had no idea that Suryavanshi would get to know about it.. I wanted her to take a break from everything, so I sent her, " Uncle said in his defense..

"Okay! It's okay if you didn't bother to tell me. But if you sent her to a place which is situated in India, you should have sent your guards. In outside India, there's a very less chance of this incident. But in India, you have political yet business rivalry and it's their country. They can easily get access for everything. Atleast you could have thought about her safety before sending her away! " She lashed out..

I was feeling bad for uncle. But at some point she was correct.. "How would I know that anybody would know about her going to Goa? And Mivaan and Abir were with her.. So I thought it won't be much risky, " he said, I was now tired of all these drama.. Aunty kept quiet and sat on another chair. Mivaan came to me, "I should not have gone for the meeting , even if I went I should not have taken you with me! " He expressed..

It made me feel more guilty, if anybody from us would have stayed with them, it would not be a problem.. I became careless , atleast we could have kept our phone with us. His phone was dead, mine was at home.. I had no freaking idea about Suryavanshi. And whenever I post something, I never add location , because media reach me quickly. Either I post it after several days, otherwise without putting location. She was just being excited, she didn't think all this. So I could not blame her.

It's hard to find us, but her one mistake lead us to hear. But it's not even her fault. One and other day he could have found her . It's my fault that I killed his son, but left the proof.. I still have no idea how would he find out about all this. Mumma blames me about the murder, but if that day I would have let his son go, he would have created a huge blunder. That whole family is filled with psychopath.. He would have stalked her, made her life a misery . And as he was the son of the most powerful underground mafia, police would have done nothing..

So I took care of it personally. At that time I was planning to kill Andrew Robert, I knew I would die. So before dying I wanted to make sure that there's no one to harm her. So it's the solo reason why I killed him.. But who knew all this will lead us here.. We all gathered together as the doctor came outside, his facial expressions were not giving me any hope..

"We studied her case and it's your good luck that you had a chopper and you hospitalized her early.. Because the poison of the bullet wound have infected her right hand and in a worst scenario we had to cleave her right hand, " hearing his words, my face went pale. We all were just staring at him with fear filled eyes.. "But now there's nothing much to worry about, as they have taken out the bullet before it could have made any more damage! " He concluded.. I sighed in relief.. But still the worst scenario was coming to my mind..

"When will she gain her sense? " Uncle asked him..

"See, Mr Agarwal her situation is out of danger, but her situation is still critical. She had lost a heavy amount of blood and the bullet had infected her lungs. She's facing breathing difficulties. Her wound is deep and it would take time to heal. And as you have mentioned that she's molested, so mentally she is weak. So you can imagine the depth of her pain, it's not just physical, she is mentally affected, she's not strong at this point. So I can't assure you anything. "

He left after giving us a little hope and breaking it at the end.. I moved my gaze to her, my heart was breaking.. I wanted to hug her, I really wanted to hug her and tell her that she's fine.. She's safe.. I won't let anything happen to her.. I walked outside and sat on a chair in the garden.. I was feeling completely exhausted and drained out.. Everything was looking dark.. My eyes were burning, my whole face was burning..

My chest started paining, the weight of guilt was haunting me.. I promised her that I would keep her happy.. Why I was not with her when she needed me? Why I didn't reach her early? Why I couldn't save her? Why didn't I save her from getting the bullet into herself? Why I involved her in my life?

My first mistake was I opened up about my relationship in the concert.. Suryavanshi got to know about my weakness, and he attacked her. I should not have done that. Just before some time I was saying we had no control over whatever happened, but now I was not able to pacify myself. Here I feel like I was the problem. From the day we had met, I had made her life a living hell..

I felt someone's palm over my head, I looked up, it's Sharanya.. I moved aside and she sat down beside me.. I wiped my tears, until now I hadn't realized that I was crying.. "Just because both the mothers are blaming you, doesn't mean you are the reason behind her condition, okay? I don't like when my brother cries.. Stop crying, " she scolded me and wiped the tears from my cheek.. Her presence made me more emotional..

"No yarr! She doesn't deserve me.. I am not able to keep her happy, I am not able to protect her.. Why would I exist in her life if I am unable to do anything? " I yelped in anger as tears made their ways down my cheeks.. "So what are you thinking? You will just leave her like this? " She yelled at me, I looked down, I was feeling extremely emotional. She's so so in love with me and it's hurting me that I was not able to reciprocate it..

"Even after getting molested, she came forward to save me yarr.. This part is not letting me breath.. I could not protect her and she put her own life on the edge for me, " I burst out crying, shaking my head.. She hugged me from my side, I was stiff and just crying.. "Bhai, please don't cry, " she started crying, I felt hollow from inside.. Today it's so difficult to calm myself. Because I had seen her miserable condition..

I was not able to erase that particular moment where she's standing and her cloth was ripped, I wanted to kill my mind to delete that moment.. Why could not I reach her? "What happened to your knuckles? " She took my palm in her hand, I remembered hitting my hand against the cement floor in anger.. It's bleeding at first , but then the flow of blood stopped..

"Hey where is Mishti? " I lifted my head after hearing the familiar voice. Both Ziya and Ruhan was coming at my direction.. Ziya was out of India and Ruhan has gone to Tamilnadu for his work purposes.. Ziya asked me about her cabin.. "First floor, you will see our family there! " I replied, I don't even remember in which room she was admitted, my mind was that much disturbed.. Ruhan sat beside me.. "Have you taken something? Let's go and eat something, " he said dragging my hand, I shook my head negatively..

I hadn't taken a morsel of food, yesterday I had my last meal.. "What happened to your hand? Come with me, first treat your hand! " He pressurized me, "Please yarr, just go from here.." I said, I wanted to sound calm but it came out rude.. "Abir! Don't be like a child.. She needs you .. When she will wake up , you would be the first person she would ask for.. And for that you have to stay strong and for that you have to take care of yourself, " he scolded me, typical best friend..

He dragged me towards the hospital, I had no strength to fight with him.. A nurse came and started treating my wound.. I didn't even feel the pain when she was applying all those things, it's not burning. Or maybe my pain was overpowering all the physical pain. "Everyone is here, let's go home.. Take a shower, have your meal and come back here. I won't mind if you sleep here, but let's go home first.. Everyone is here, they will handle it, " he said, I was reluctant at first..

But then I realized, I needed to clean myself. If Mishti will get her sense, they won't let me inside.. I need to stay hygienic, otherwise it would infect her.. So I decided to go..

~

Everyone in the house were curious to know about her condition, from chacha chachi to my younger cousins. They all were wide awake. But nobody questioned me anything, after I went to my room they started shooting their questions on Ruhan. I freshened up and wore a fresh pair of clothes.. I packed my bag with the necessary stuffs, because I decided to stay in hospital..

I went down stairs, chachi had served my dinner.. I was eating silently.. Ruhan and chachi were with me.. Everyone was in the hall.. It would have been a whole opposite scenario in my house, if the traumatic incident would not have happened. All my cousins would have teased the hell out of me due to the Instagram post. But now it's complete silence..

My phone started ringing, I picked the call as it's from Sharanya.. I kept the phone on speaker..

Hello bhaii..

I stood up from my seat hearing her crying voice, I poured the water on my palm and washed it in the plate itself.. I hadn't taken half of the food even..

What happened? Is mishti okay?

Just before a few minutes, her heartbeat has dropped. Doctor were not able to find her pulse.. It's become critical..

I gestured for Ruhan to bring out his car from parking.. He took my bag and ran outside, I followed him..

Now she has come to normal..

Is the doctor with her? make sure he doesn't leave her room..

Yeah.. He is with her and also Ziya is there..

I am reaching there..

And also badimaa (Maahira) , her bp went low and she became unconscious. The situation was scary, so it's obvious.. So she's admitted as well..

I am coming there..

I got into the car, Ruhan started driving.. It's early in the morning, 5:00 am.. So there's no rush.. He took just ten minutes, he went to park the car and I went to the hospital.. Everyone was stressed.. I looked inside her cabin, the doctor was studying the monitor. Maahira aunty was admitted in the opposite chamber. Maanvir was there with her.. I ran my fingers in my hair..

Ziya came outside and dragged me to the corner, away from the family members . "She ain't getting her sense now, whatever I examined she will take more than a week to become conscious, " she informed me , I shut my eyes. "And yarr! Have you seen her scars? " the way her voice trembled, it made me horrified.. "Yeah, I mean what are you talking about , tell me in details ? " I whispered, though I didn't have any guts to hear..

"That guy was a fucking animal or what? I just saw scars around her neck.. His teeth mark was all over there around her neck . I couldn't see it yarr. And her feet have become swollen, " she expressed, I felt the pain in my gut.. "Take care! " She brushed my forearm and left.. I dropped myself on a chair and stared at the ceiling for the next few minutes until sleep took over me.. I was completely tired and drained. My eyes were burning too. So when I closed my eyes, I just went into deep slumber..

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My sleep got disturbed due to the unusual noise, I opened my eyes and found myself laying on the bed. Last night I was sleeping in a chair, maybe Ruhan has shifted me to a room. I looked around, my bag was there.. I looked at the watch, it's afternoon.. 4:00 pm. I slept for more than ten hours. My whole body was aching, I dropped myself again.

My eyes on the ceiling, I was laying there like a dead body.. I yawned lazily, I was still feeling sleepy, I was tired. I tried to keep my eyes open, but I couldn't.. I ended up sleeping again...

After two hours, I woke up.. After using the washroom, I came outside. Manvik uncle and Papa was there only.. I checked her room, Ziya was sleeping on the sofa.. It's evening.. I sent papa & uncle home , they were looking hella tired.. Now it's only me in the hospital.. But then Ruhan appeared out of nowhere. He never leaves my side..

"Take this sandwich, aunty send it for you! " He said, I was hungry, but I did not want to eat. But then again, I didn't want to be another patient, so I took the sandwich without complaining much.. I drank a glass of water and stood outside of her room.. She's still unconscious .. Ziya had told me that she would be unconscious for more than a week, how would I survive without her!

I was dying from inside, I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to sit beside her, I wanted to hug her. Moreover I wanted to cry in front of her, I wanted to scold her for taking the bullet.. I will complain to her. I would make her scold me.

Then something struck my mind.. After whatever happened, I was sure that she wouldn't allow anyone to come close to her, not even me. She had already built an invisible wall around her.. I need a lot of patience to deal with her..

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SEVEN days have passed.. She was in ICU till yesterday. Last night they transferred her to another room, but she's still not breathing on her own.. Ziya had told me that her situation had come back to normal, her condition was improved.. The day came to an end, but she didn't get her senses back. God was literally testing my patience..

I was sitting outside with Mivan. All the family members were at home. Two nurses ran into her room, Ziya came after them.. I went to check if anything happened to her and I was right. There were some changes in the monitoring machine, her chest was constantly falling up and down in a constant gap.. My heart came to my throat when her back raised and fell back..

The doctor pressed the defibrillator on her chest, she took a long breath, her back raised again and she fell back.. They studied her condition again. It's not the first time I was seeing this, the whole week was filled with such traumatic moments. Every second was hell for me, but it became worse when she started losing her heartbeat or faced breathing difficulties..

I went back to my previous position, Mivaan was literally crying. He has been holding his tears for a week, I caressed his shoulder, "I am sorry, " he excused himself and left quickly.. I dropped a message to Sharanya, because Mivaan won't cry in front of me.. She is the only one who can take care of him ..

After an hour Ziya came to me.. "Hey hey, she's getting her senses back, " she said before entering the cabin.. I stood behind the glass window, and my whole body started trembling.. I was getting goosebumps.. I kept my palm on my chest, my heart was beating fast.. Ziya was saying something to her as she opened her eyes slowly slowly.. There's no male doctor inside.. They had a five minutes conversation where only Ziya was speaking and she was just staring at her..

Ziya pointed her fingers at me, towards the glass window, I gulped hard.. She moved her gaze towards me, a lone tear dropped from my eyes, but I wiped it before she could see me.. A small smile formed on my lips when our gaze met. After a freaking week, after a whole fucking week, I made an eye contact with her.. But it didn't not last long as she moved her gaze away.. The nurse came and pulled down the certain..

I waited outside the room, after a few minutes Ziya came outside.. "She doesn't want to meet anyone, give her some time! " She said in a low tone, it's the last thing I wanted to hear.. But I knew she would not allow anyone, she needs time.. "Abir, tell your family about her condition.. But please tell them to not come here.. She would freak out seeing so many people all around! " She advised me, I nodded positively..

I called Sharanya and informed her about mishti. I also told her to not let anyone come here.. After she slept, I told the nurse to pull up the certain.. She did as I said, I kept staring at her sleeping figure. I was feeling so light after seeing her getting sense. Now she was not unconscious anymore, she was just sleeping ..

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It's a whole fucking tiring day. I was outside the whole day.. I know you are expecting their conversation, but have some patience.. ❤