Mishti :)

"Hey girl! Are you feeling okay? "

"Abir...! " I whispered in my sleep, someone was constantly shaking my hand.. I opened my heavy eyelids, a stranger couple were standing beside me.. I was laying on a bed in a stranger's house, I sat down hurriedly..

"Relax, you can trust us! " The lady said after seeing me panicking.. "Who is Abir? You were constantly taking his name! " She said, and again everything hit me at once. I sighed, I was again in the world where Abir Rajvansh doesn't exist.. I didn't cry anymore, there's no tears left, I have shed everything.

"Were you going to end your life? " The guy asked me, I looked at him and shook my head negatively.. I don't know why I jumped into the ocean.. I just got pulled into it. Like it's calling me.. "A boat was passing by the valley, we were in that boat. It's your good luck that there's a rescue man with us.. He saved you, and we took you here. We called the doctor as well, God saved you today! " He said..

I remained quiet. What was I thinking when I jumped from the cliff?

"Someone named Mivan has called you, your phone was on the ground of the valley! I informed him about you, " he said, my eyes widened.. Shit! He would think that I was being suicidal..

"Thank you....! " I muttered and grabbed my phone before leaving.. When I reached the door I saw my brothers , my heart almost jumped out of my throat seeing their face. They all were hell scared.. I was pulled into their embrace, they all caged me.. "Why did you do that? " Mrinal bhai was crying.. I had never seen him crying in my whole life, seeing him crying like a baby made me feel bad..

"Please talk to us, we are here to listen.. But don't take such steps again! " Mivan bhai said after breaking our hug, Maanvir bhai was still holding me in his embrace like a protective brother.. "I wasn't ending my life! " I whispered, "Then why did you go there? We have already lost someone so close to us.. Please don't do such things, " Mivan bhai said , he was angry but didn't show his anger because I was sensitive at that moment .. I sighed in distress..

If it would have been any other day, they would have slapped me right left & center for taking such a horrible step, but here the situation is already worse for me.

"Let's go! " Maanvir bhai dragged me to outside, Mivan bhai and Mrinal bhai went inside to thank the couple who saved me.. I remembered when I jumped from the cliff, there's a boat near the valley .. But I was too distracted to listen to anyone.. I was driven by his presence when he doesn't exist in real..

Maanvir bhai again hugged me, he started crying in my arms.. A lump formed in my throat, I gulped hard.. My both brothers came and started patting bhai's back.. "We stayed away from you for a decade.. It's like a punishment to us, don't punish us again! " Bhai yelped breaking the hug, I didn't want to end my life. But why would anyone believe me! It looked like I was being suicidal..

"I am hungry, let's go and eat something! " I said to distract myself from the topic.. As I got in the car, I looked outside. The couple's house was near the beach.. My eyes fell on the ocean, I felt like it's calling me again. I have become crazy.. Maybe because Abir lost his life here, so the place was painful yet working like an ointment to my wound.. Unknowingly a tear rolled down my eyes..

I looked at my brothers, they were staring at me with concerned filled eyes.. I became conscious, I didn't want them to be worried for me.. "This is due to dust, " I said while wiping my tears.. "The windows are locked ! " Mrinal bhai said, then I realized I was inside a car and the doors were closed.. I lowered my gaze and kept my eyes on my palm..

The car stopped in front of a restaurant.. I hadn't taken anything, but felt like my stomach was full. But if I would tell them, they will think I don't want to eat and starve myself because my heart was broken. So I didn't say anything..

"A paneer sandwich without cheese! " I ordered for me.. "A coffee for her as well! " Mivan bhai said.. I looked at my watch, it's almost 10:30.. I was unconscious for more than three hours.. I sighed.. I took the knife, I saw something dirty on it, so I was just staring it.. Suddenly someone took it from my hand, it's Mivan bhai.. He stared at me in fear..

"I was just looking at the dirt, I am not suicidal.. You guys take a chill! " I stated, "Why did you take the knife in the first place? " Maanvir bhai asked me, "How will I eat fruits without a knife? " I said looking at my plate and then I realized I had ordered a sandwich not fruits.. "I am sorry! " I muttered and started taking the sandwich.. They all remained quiet..

My mind has stopped working.. After three bites, I felt like throwing up.. I hurriedly ran to the washroom and puked out everything.. Three of them were standing around me, patting my back.. "You guys can go, I am okay.. It's a ladies washroom! " I said, then I saw another man in the washroom. "Oh, I didn't see, " I whispered, it's me who ran into the gents toilet.. It's not a ladies washroom..

I cleaned myself and went outside. Bhai paid the bill and we three got out of the restaurant.. "See! You guys don't need to be panicked for me.. I will be okay! " I said, the trio nodded.. "Are you planning to go back to Gold coast or want to stay here for a while or we can travel somewhere? " Mivan bhai asked me for suggestions ,he must be thinking that travelling to any place can fix me .. "How's Sharanya? " I asked him.. His face went pale after hearing my question..

"She needs you bhai ! " I reminded him..

"I am not allowed to go inside Rajvansh House! " he said in a low tone.. "Ayansh bhai is there to take care of her, " he added, I nodded.. They would stay worried if I stay here in Sydney.. So I decided to go back to Gold Coast. Life doesn't end here, I need to move on.. "Let's go back to our city! " I said, they all smiled at me & nodded..

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Everyone has come to the Agarwal mansion, they were scared & worried for me after hearing about the morning incident .. I was laying in my room, the clock hit 12:00.. Another day has started.. I was scared to sleep, because I knew I would end up waking with a horrible nightmare.. The medicines can help me to sleep, but I wasn't feeling like to sleep..

I dialled Sharanya's number and to my surprise she picked my call after two rings..

I cleared my throat..

You haven't slept yet?

Yep! Just going to..

Her voice was low & shaky, like she's trying to control herself.. I let out a deep breath..

How is aunty?

I don't know.. I am in my room from yesterday.. She didn't come to meet me.. I think she's not here.. She left..

She left? Where?

I don't know.

Where is Yuvan uncle?

He went to take mom home..

Are you alone?

Yeah..

Now I got scared.. My heart beat fastened , the way her voice was sounding, it scared the hell out of me.. She's sounding completely emotionless..

Hey, are you okay? Right?

Yeah.. Ok..

Don't worry Mishti! I won't end my life like this.. I know bhai would have never liked it..

I muted the call and started crying.. I almost got scared , my mind was coming with all the negative thoughts..

Should I send Mivan bhai to your house?

He is in front of me..

He went to your house?

No, it's not like that.. The guard didn't allow him.. He is outside the boundary, sitting above his car and staring at my window..

Okay! Then take care!

You should too!

Hmm.. Good night..

Good night..

I cut the call and kept my phone on the bed.. Someone knocked on my door, "Come in! " I said, it's maa.. "You didn't sleep? " I asked her, she shook her head and laid beside me.. "Nothing feels right mishti! I am not able to breathe without feeling guilty.. How will we survive in this guilt? " She whispered, I shut my eyes, controlling my tears..

"Sleep mammi! We don't have control over anything, " I said and started brushing her hair.. She clutched my palm tightly and closed her eyes.. "Years back God took my Myra and now took Abir too! Never I will ever believe in God! " She whispered, I clenched my teeth tightly because I was at the verge of crying..

She was extremely tired, so she fell into sleep soon.. I covered the blanket over her and went to the rooftop.. I wanted some fresh air.. I used to love solitude, silence and alone time, but today it was scary for me.. Because it's just reminding me that Abir is no more with me.. I sat on the parapet, hanging my both legs in air.. The cold wind were brushing off my tears..

My eyes fell on my neighbouring house and my heart dropped in a second , there's a teenager girl who was playing a video of Abir's concert and singing along with him.. She was looking so happy while vibing with him.. It would be heartbreaking for his fans, they won't be able to digest the truth.. He was so young, why God did this!!

Another thing that hit me was that I had never attended a concert, I looked down letting those tears flow from my puffy eyes.. My fingers clutched around the edge of the cement wall.. I remembered , it's my birthday when I met him for the first time.. He was singing in the beach and I was listening his soothing voice from far.. After ten days we had a face off and he told me to attend his concert..

A celebrity who had infinity number of fans pleaded me to attend his concert and I rejected his offer.. Why did I do that? Even after that he had kept so many concerts and I hadn't attended a single of them.. Now this was a lifetime regret for me..

"Remember my words, you will never get the person whom you love! Not in this lifetime, " Adrene's curse kept coming to mind. Now my face started burning, because I have been crying a lot.. I looked at my ring finger, my body shivered when I saw the dhaga was missing from my hand.. I definitely lost it in the ocean. Now it's another regret, I felt like banging my head somewhere. How could I lose it? I sighed in distress..

My fingers slightly brushed on the star designed bracelet which Abir had given me, now this was the only thing left with me which will remind me of him.. I gazed at the sky, full of stars. "How will I find you among so many stars, Abir? " I whisper-asked.. The stars don't glow like you, Abir Rajvansh! I used to be a stargazing person , but now I won't be able to do that. I am jealous of them, because they have you.

There's a life before him, where I had accepted that all my life I will just focus on my work, business was my love. I had made myself understand that I will do everything by myself and will stay single.. Then there's a life with you, you brought a drastic change in my life, you just turned the table. And then there's a life after you ! I don't know what to do with that!

"You didn't sleep...! "

I looked back hearing Dhruv's voice, he came & sat beside me.. "Now you must be happy that Abir is no more in my life! " I said, "Don't say such stupid things about me, Mishti! I know how much you love him and your heart is always reserved by him, I know I had a lot of fights with him, but I never wished for this day, not even in my dream! " He voiced, I rested my palm on my lap & stared at the bracelet..

"I am just concerned for you, I know how does it feels when you lose the person you loved the most, " he said which drew my attention, I looked at him wondering if something tragic had happened to him in the past.. He gave me a half smile, "I has lost my first love too.. After five years of relationship, I lost her in a car accident! " I felt goosebumps all over my body..

"And you know what was the worst part, I couldn't even see her for the last time. We were doing our masters, her family was strict so they had no idea about us.. When her accident occurred, I was out of country.. I didn't know about her accident, she was dead, but I didn't know it.. She didn't pick up my calls for a week, I found it suspicious and when I came back, I got to know about her from her friend! " He explained, my mouth fell agap..

He started shedding tears, "God snatched her away from me & didn't even give me a chance to say her goodbye! " He burst out crying, I brushed his back, trying to console him.. "I am sorry, I should not have said it today, " he said & wiped his tears. "I am sorry for your loss.. " I mumbled, he wasn't able to look at me properly because he was trying to control his tears..

Except Rajvansh family and my family, only Dhruv knows about the truth.. Because he was with Maa & Papa at that time, it's not a problem because he was well aware of our mission..

"Time heals everything, I hope it heals you as well! " He said before leaving me. Those words hurt me for some reason, because I didn't want to be happy , I didn't want to be habitual to live without Abir's existence, I wanted to live in the pain, I wanted to suffer, I wanted to keep him alive in my memories .. And being healed means living a happy life means a life without remembering him..

"Can you hear me Abir...? " I whispered & looked at the sky. "I hate you for leaving me like this! " I said and went back to my room. Maa was sleeping , I laid down beside her.. I knew I will get another nightmare, so I took my sleeping pills & slept.. I didn't want to bother my family anymore ..

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SIX MONTHS LATER

Germany// Mishti's pov :))

"Abir, stop! " I said throwing my hands and legs in air as he was tickling me, my stomach has started hurting as I was laughing too much.. "Abir, please stop! " I said in between my laughters and he finally stopped, I punched his chest and sighed in relief..

Teri meri baki hai kahaani
Teri meri aadhi hai kahaani
Aa gayi wo mod par
Tu gaya jo chhod kar
Mere dil ko tod kar, kya mil gaya

I woke up to the reality as my ringtone disturbed my beautiful dream, I yawned lazily & looked at the watch.. It's 7:30 in the morning, I looked at my phone screen.. As I was expecting it's Mivaan bhai who's calling me.. I answered the phone and sat down.. I adjusted it so that they can see my face. It's a video call & the whole family was there..

You guys broke my sleep again..

Good morning beta! How's the weather there?.

It's good here.. You guys should chill, I am fine..

We know we know! By the way when are you coming back?

10 more days!

Oh that's good, come soon!

Hm bye!

As I cut the call, my home screen wallpaper popped up..

A small smile appeared on my lips seeing his picture. I took a deep breath and dropped my phone on the bed.. After taking a shower I got ready for the meeting.. I have lunched a project here in Germany, so I came with Jeevika ten days ago. There's not a single day when my family hasn't called me , they were scared to leave me alone , so they forced me take Jeevika with me..

The last six months were tragic for me, people say time heals everyone , but maybe God doesn't count me under everyone. And I am happy with it.. I still meet him in my day dreams and nightmares, his thoughts still gives me pain like it was. My coping mechanism isn't working. I still cry for him till late at night..

It's our last day here actually, but I told my family that we both will go back after ten days because I need vacation. I need some alone time. "Mam, let's go! " Jeevika said to me, I grabbed my purse and headed outside. The company had provided us a guest house where we both are leaving for the last ten days..

No one knows about Abir's death till now.. The Prime minister's case is still fresh.. I wonder how fans would react when Rajvansh will declare the news.. Our work completed at 4:00 .. We didn't take any taxi and thought to take a walk around the city, because for the last ten days we were busy in work..

We were walking over the love lock bridge, many people were tying their lock.. "Should we do this too? " I asked Jeevika, she stared at me for a moment then nodded.. We bought two locks🔐 , she wrote M as it's Mrinal bhai's first letter.. My fingers were trembling when I wrote A, but it's always him.. I kept my phone on the ground and locked the lock by the key.. Holding the key, I closed my eyes..

I had nothing to ask for, God has already snatched him from me.. So I just closed my eyes, his face appeared in front of my eyes & I threw the key into the river.. Jeevika did the same, we both looked at each other & smiled.. When I bent down to take my phone, it's not there. My eyes widened..

"My phone? " Jeevika said, I looked at her.. "Even my phone is not here! " I mumbled, we both looked towards the end of the bridge.. A man was running away from us, holding our phones. "Damn it! " I mumbled, but he was already so far, so we didn't waste our energy. I didn't even feel like to go & catch him..

I had lose such a big thing in my life, in front that it looked so small.. "Glad! Now we can roam around here without any disturbance! " Jeevika said, I chuckled.. My family would be tensed, so we both went to a phone booth and informed our family about the theif..

"Jeevika! You go back to our room, I will go after some time! " I said, she nodded and left.. There's a chair beside the lake, it's dark out there as it's night.. I sat down quietly.. There were numerous couple roaming around me, so many questions were running in my mind..

Will I ever be able to move on from Abir? Will I be ever able to love someone the way I loved Abir? And the answer was negative. But who knows? When Abir wasn't in my life, I used to think that I would never fall in love with anyone. But that time I wasn't scared of love. Now I am! Because the feeling when they leave you is the worst feeling ever!

The Ten days passed in a blink of eyes.. We both discovered a lot of places in Europe without clicking a single picture because we didn't have phone.. We used to stay together so that we won't lose contact with each other.. We face many problems because we didn't have a phone, lol.. But we didn't buy one..

After a long duration of flight we both stepped on Gold Coast airport, back to normal.. Even though I was on a trip, I didn't feel relaxed.. It's been six months, I have forgotten how to smile.. We both took our baggage from the counter and were heading to outside when we heard two girls saying something..

"You should have told me about it, I really missed Abir, oh what a singer he's! "

I stopped walking, Jeevika held my elbow.. "Did you hear the exact thing what I heard? " She said in disbelief, "Did Rajvansh family revealed about his dismiss? " she whispered, I felt like my heart was beating very first.. "Maybe! " I mumbled and we both went outside.. It's evening here in Australia.. We booked a taxi and headed towards my house..

"STOP STOP STOP! " Jeevika screamed, the driver became terrified and stopped the car in the middle of the national highway.. I snapped my eyes at her, "Look at that banner! " She said pointing at her side of the road, I tilted my head to look what she was showing. My heart dropped, I felt like I came to another planet , my eyes furrowed..

"What is this? " I whispered, there's a big banner of promotion of Abir's concert and the date mentioned on the banner was of today's and the time was 6:00 pm.. "After six months he has come to the public, so there's his poster everywhere! " The driver told us, we both looked at each other in shock.. The driver started the engine ..

My hands and legs started shivering, I was sweating.. I felt like I will get a heart attack, because it was the biggest shock of my life. "Can you take us to the venue where the concert is happening? " I told him, "But mam , you can't enter inside without the ticket ! " He said, "Just take us there, please! " I whispered, he nodded.. After half an hour he dropped us at the location..

As I got out of the car , I saw several posters of Abir.. I wasn't able to move, I was totally motionless.. Jeevika held my palm, "Did we come to parallel universe? Because the fuck is happening here? " She muttered, I was just staring at the poster.. As the environment became silent, we were able to hear the loud cheering voice of fans ..

I moved closer, my heart beat raised.. I could hear Abir's voice as well.. Jeevika patted my shoulder, "What's happening? " She said, my stomach twisted as I felt anxious.. "Mam, this side, " A guard instructed us, I was surprised how he was telling us to go inside when we didn't have the tickets..

It's a large area, I pressed both my ears by my palm due to loud screams of fans.. The guard took us towards the center, there's a small gap for us to walk..

I froze at my place, a line appeared between my eyes as I looked deeply towards the person. Suddenly all the lights came off and I stumbled over my feet, taking two steps back , my back bumped with Jeevika who held me.. Fans were still shouting..

"This.. This can't be possible! " I whispered, it's Abir .. His eyes met mine, I could feel heat coming from my face.. He removed the mic from his face and bent down a little, forwarding his hand towards me.. I gasped audibly.. The whole crowd became silent, I could hear my own heartbeat..

I placed my palm on his, he held it tightly and I froze again.. He pulled me to the stage, I was just staring at his shining brown orbs as my life depends on them, like there's no tomorrow, like if I will blink then he will be vanished and I will come back to reality..

This is so far my happiest dream about him and of course the longest.. A tear rolled down my eyes, his eyes travelled from my eyes to my cheek, he brushed his thumb against my cheek, wiping my tears, resulting me to close my eyes.. I realized that I wasn't standing on my feet, rather he was holding me from my waist while my feets were just touching the ground..

"No more tears....! " He whispered, and it brought tears into my eyes again. My ears were dying to hear his soothing voice . I keep day dreaming about him, but today's dream was something else. How did I manage to keep a concert in my dream ! I just kept staring at him because I didn't want this dream to break, it felt so beautiful..

"Happy Birthday Mishti...! " He wished me, and I realized it's my birthday.. I had met him for the first time one year ago and today he's again in front of my eyes , but it's a dream.. I placed my fingers on his cheek and trailed it down to his chest.. I felt his heart beat, it's rapid.. "You look so real! " I whispered, he gave me a soft smile..

"You know when I felt like I was taking my last breath, I didn't remember my parents, but I remembered you! " He said, tears started gathering in my eyes.. "And then I realized how much I love you.. " He mentioned, I gulped, I literally didn't want this dream to come to an end..

"I love you Mishti! " He confessed to me, I didn't feel excited but I was scared. I couldn't understand how I would survive after such a beautiful dream.. Life would be tragic again!

"Can I kiss you.....? " He asked me, his voice turned soft and he leaned forward.. "Don't! Otherwise you will vanish away and my beautiful dream will be broken! " I mumbled, he blinked his eyes slowly and gave me a side smile..

The next moment I felt his warm lips against my quivering cold lips, the whole crowd jumped in excitement and I came back to the reality!! He slowly sucked my lower lip, his hand securely holding my waist, his finger tapped around the flesh on my waist.. With his other hand he was holding the guitar and then proceeded to suck my upper lips.. I clutched the thin fabric of his shirt.. It's dark out there..

The crowd screamed in excitement again, I shut my lips together not letting him kiss me anymore.. He leaned back and I stood on my toes, making a safe distance..

"You are alive..? " I whispered in shock, "For you! " He whispered, I tilted my head and stared into his eyes.. "It can't be true..! " I whispered and took a step back.. He stood there watching me, I shook my head and turned my toes to leave.. He didn't stop me.. As I started running from there, Jeevika followed me..

I came to the road, I clutched my hair tightly while looking at here and there.. "I am dreaming right? " I said to Jeevika, she was looking equally shocked as me...

"This is just a dream! " I shouted in a voice mixed with pain,frustration and anger ..

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