Posted November 14th, 2018

✤ Sanya: 1.28 kisses are kryptonite ✤

I can feel him shift closer, my back close to touching his chest as he leans over and asks, "Was it about me?"

The flash of us kissing in my dream heats up my body again. The feeling... his touch had left behind such a lingering burn over my skin even though I was awake now.

When I remain silent, he adds. "Are you really going to pretend you want to go back to sleep?" He tries to get me to tell him, "Come on, it's me. You can tell me."

Doesn't he get it? Because it's about him and how it makes me feel, I can't tell him.

He tugs my shoulder to get me to turn and face him. "It was about me, wasn't it?"

Reluctantly, I turn on my back and his face is right there. His lips, so close. I clear my throat to get myself out of this daze. I've always been good at control. Then why is it hard today? Oh, my brain does know the answer. It could have something to do with the words he said last night... that he loves me. Hearing it... that had meant a lot. That had meant everything.

"What happened to not pushing me?"

He sincerely answers having no conflicted thoughts on this matter, "That refers to your social anxiety... not pushing you to speak in public. It doesn't apply to you hiding things from me."

"Then you already know the answer," I say after taking a moment to collect my thoughts. He is smarter than needing to ask me.

His lips turn up and dimples appear. He's amused as he asks next, "What was happening in this dream?"

I open my mouth but there are no words to express. It snaps shut and I start to sit up so he's forced to move back. "You, my friend," I push the blanket aside to get out of bed, "are going to have to do better than that to get that information out of me."

My feet slip into my slippers and I walk around the bed to reach my dresser. From the mirror, I catch him raise a brow, surprised at my courage to resist and talk my way out of offering him the answer without making him work for it.

Yes, he's charming but if that was enough, where is the fun in that?

"Friend? We both know we're more than that." He lets it be known eyes boring into mine through the mirror.

"Are we?"

"Is that how we're going to do this then?"

Fighting my smirk, I reach for my paint brush on the dresser to pin my hair up, "I guess so." Next, I walk to my closet and grab a towel.

I intend to use the bathroom but he is quick to jump out of bed and block my path. I move to my right and he moves to his left. It's the same when I try to walk around him form my left. "What exactly am I going to have to do?"

I shrug my shoulder as if to say, 'figure it out'.

He breathes out and taking the small step forward, rests his forehead against mine. "You really make me work hard to get any answer out of you."

"Then you'll be used to it and it won't be hard." I hold my head high and tell him with a knowing grin. He smiles back, shaking his head in amusement, and I reach up on my toes to peck his temple. Then, without looking at him, I tap his chest twice and nudge him to move so I can walk around him and disappear inside the washroom.

*✧✤--------------------------✤✧*

When I have showered and walk out of the bathroom, Rihaan is sitting at my desk doing something – what, I have no idea. "What are you doing?" I ask walking to the chair since I always drape my towel behind it to let it dry. I have to tap his shoulder to get him to lean forward so I can hang it there.

"Waiting for you," he answers closing the random notebook he must have picked off my desk where he was doodling on the last page.

I tease him as I walk away to the dresser so I can comb my hair. "Are you that impatient that you can't even let me shower in peace."

He proves he did let me by pointing out, "You were in there for half an hour. Did I once tell you to hurry up?"

"Alright, go." I sigh and turn to face him crossing my arms over my chest. "There's more on your mind than last night." I think and add, "And this morning."

He knows he doesn't have to beat around the bush so he informs right away, "I want to ask you a hypothetical situation."

I have a feeling it's a lot more than hypothetical if he is bringing it up. Still, I nod for him to continue, "Okay. Which is?"

"Do you remember when I mentioned you would love New York?"

"Yes."

"If you had the chance to go, would you go?"

My arms uncross and I sit on the dresser stool putting together a few things. "By myself?"

"No, but just hypothetically, would you want to go?"

"Rihaan, this isn't just hypothetical."

He drops his attempt to ask indirectly and informs, "Mom and dad bought me a ticket."

Now, the pieces fit. I conclude quietly, "You're asking me to go with you."

He starts to pitch the idea as he stands up and walks towards me, "Look, San. I know it's very far and also for us to go alone... I get all of that but I also told you, you would love it there and when I said we should go one day, I meant it. I didn't think it'd be this soon, so if you're not ready, I'd understand but I thought..."

Suddenly, I interject. "Yes."

Stumped, he stops talking. "What?"

I smile standing up and speaking my mind, "Rihaan, yes. The thought of going so far away alone is overwhelming but it's less unbearable knowing you'd be there. I'm not worried about what it'll mean if we go on this trip together because I trust you."

In my way, I hope it passes across the message that I understand it'll be a huge step but what we have isn't like other relationships where couples take a weekend away or a holiday together and it implies a sexual relationship turning into an emotional intimacy as well. But, if anything, we already have a strong emotional intimacy. Growing up, it's what keeps us attached to one another.

He is a lot more at peace with the idea on learning there is no hesitance from me. I know better than to think he'd ever push me for anything physical. He's always looked out for my interests and even here, his primary reason for asking me to go with him is because he knows that place would be like a second home for my art.

He confirms, "I can ask your parents for permission?"

I confidently answer, "Yes."

He breathes out in relief but as seconds pass, he walks backwards to sit on the bed and grows nervous, "Uh, how exactly do I do that?"

I chuckle finding it adorable. He spent all his time worrying I wouldn't want to go that he didn't look past it at the second equation. So, I kindly remind him, "Rihaan, they love you and everyone here knows how much you care for me. They're not going to say no, especially since I want to go too."

"That's sweet, San, but think of it from their perspective? They're not going to let their teenage daughter go anywhere that far with any guy."

I persuade him he is overthinking it, "You're not just any guy, Rihaan. Besides, they will because they will see that it's a huge step for me out of my comfort zone."

He is silent for a few seconds as he takes it into consideration. "I guess that's true."

"Yes, now come on. We can ask them later. Right now, you're helping me publish my website." I inform holding out my hand for him to take it and get up.

He mumbles in agreement and sliding his hand in mine, stands up. I cannot deny that holding his hand swells up my heart with warmth. Even when it has happened more times than I can remember to count now, it still affects me the same as the very first time.

I start to walk out and for a step or two, he lets me lead before he stops and tugs at our interlocked hands. I turn to face him ready to ask what the problem was when his hands come to rest on my hips and he pulls me in a hug. "Thank you for trusting me."

"Silly," I call him because what else? He doesn't have to thank me for that. He's earned that our whole life.

When I pull back, he reaches for my hand again and brings it to his lip, placing a kiss over my knuckles. "I mean it," he insists sincerely. "Not flipping out when I suggested this..."

"It should only tell you just how much you mean to me." I tell him reaching for his other hand as well.

He murmurs back in agreement. "It does."

*✧✤--------------------------✤✧*

After noon and having lunch, I am sprawled out on the floor by my bed with books in front of me. Laying on my stomach, I have been trying to study. Final exams are only two weeks away and the horrible part is, I cannot focus. Reason? Rihaan. He is mimicking my position across from me.

It's almost a game, right now.

Pretending to be serious and studying but every few seconds, looking at the other. Sometimes, I feel his eyes on me and I'll look up. Our eyes would lock and he would playfully smirk. Trying to hide my smile, I'll let my head dip down to the textbook - a futile attempt for the pattern would repeat.

In my mind, I kept thinking about my dream from this morning. It was somewhere killing me to be in the same room as him. This sexual tension? Yeah, it was the first time.

When I catch his eye on me again, I clear my throat and instruct, "Study."

He complains as if a small child, "But there are so many distractions!"

I flicker my eyes to his. That pout on his lips that has butterflies erupt once again in my belly. Moving my palms from supporting my chin, I place my elbows atop my book. "Want to know a secret?"

Light glows in his eyes as he answers eagerly, "Yes." That has his attention.

I use my index finger to beckon him closer in the pretense that because it was a secret, I would whisper it in his ear. Moving his textbook aside, he moves closer using his elbows to slide up. "Close your eyes."

His brows narrow in doubt.

I bait him, "Want to know the secret or not?"

Quick to drop his doubts, his eyes close. For a second, I admire his face. Am I really going to do this? Even as anxiety shoots through my veins, I lean closer. With every second ticking by, my heart beats triple in rate. So long, my lips touch his.

And the second they touch, I scramble back quickly as if my mind screams in alert. Abort mission. What was I thinking?

His eyes snap open, wide as he stares at me. Lowering my head to the foreign letters on my textbook, I meekly answer. "Th-that was my dream..." I don't give him the details he should get the gist of it.

He asks, "Us kissing?" his voice hoarse and I can almost pick out the desire longing in them.

"Mhmm," I flip the page pretending my skin is not on fire and I am not distracted to heaven and back. I feign composure as if my attention is solely on reading these words when I have no idea what was even on the earlier page.

Seconds tick by in silence. Curious on what is going through his mind, I peek up through my lashes and only for a second. His eyes are still on me. I put my index finger over a sentence as if following it would make it better for me to pay attention to studying.

Let's face it. The past hour, there had been no studying done!

He clears his throat, finally breaking the silence. "So, um dream better than reality?"

My finger falters for a moment before I command it to continue moving. "I wouldn't know." I answer in the best voice I can manage so it isn't breaking and giving away just what was going on with me.

That kiss in my dream? It was so very intimate. Open mouthed. A kiss. Not a peck that I had just given him.

From my peripheral, I see his hand forwarding and as I blink, it is on my chin. Heat instantly sears through my body even as his face fills my vision and there is nothing else. Not my anxiety. Not my nerves. Not the conscious thoughts over what is about to happen.

His voice lowers a timbre as I stare into the depths of those blue eyes reflecting the eternity of the oceans, "You're right."

Right? Before I can formulate the thought to ask, 'about what', his face leans in and his lips cover mine, pressing against them deeply for seconds. Just as my mind plays catch up, I swallow and one of my hand lifts to his jaw as my weight is held only with my other elbow. It seems to encourage him for his lips part, tongue flickering to my upper lip.

A gasp escapes my throat at the sensation it shoots through me. My own lips parts in a reaction. Meeting his soft and sensual pace that he is setting, he deepens the kiss, angling his head and exploring my mouth. His taste, so exotic and unlike anything. He groans, sliding his hand off my chin and to my nape as if to bring my face closer.

I pull back for air and chest rising and falling, he too is heaving to refill air in his lungs. A satisfied smile plays on his lips as his forehead rests against mine. I open my eyes, blinking a couple of times to fight back the black dots I had seen, and inhale sharply when he pulls his bottom lip in his mouth as if he could still taste me. His eyes remain close as if fitting this moment in a permanent section of his brain.

"That..." I realize that was me speaking when he opens his eyes in response, "was nothing in comparison."

His smile largens into a grin at the assurance. Reality is a million times better than the dream version. "There is no way I can study now," he comments, hinting at his distraction which must have only quadrupled by now.

In what logic did I think kissing him would mean he would not be distracted and that he would study? One kiss is so not enough. Because kissing him had felt like my heart was finally in a right place. As if this was what I was meant for. He always made me feel whole.

I nudge him back with an enticing offer, "Finish a chapter, and maybe I'll let you kiss me again."

He raises a brow while rising to the challenge, "Really, now?"

Blushing, I lower my eyes for a second.

He adds in mischief, "That is one fine way to get me to study."

I bite the inside of my cheek at the boost it offers me. I might not realize right now that I started a chain of habit that he was going to stick to, but I did not care. Kissing him again, that is all my mind seems to care about. Now, he may focus long enough to finish the chapter to get the reward waiting for him at the end... but it is impossible for me to do the same when my mind refuses to cooperate.

It wants to jump straight to the reward.

Damn it if they were going to be my kryptonite.

*✧✤--------------------------✤✧*

When mom and dad return from work in the evening, I knock on their door and enter. Mom is at the dresser taking off her earrings while dad is on the bed removing his shoes and socks. Mom greets, "Hey, San. How's your day been? Did you get any studying done?"

I groan unhappily. She just had to remind me.

She gives me a scolding look, "You do know your exams are in two weeks, yes?"

I walk up to her, taking her hand and making her walk backwards till I sit her next to dad. Both share a worried look before turning to me. Dad asks, "Is anything wrong?"

"That depends." I answer.

"On?" Mom follows it with a question.

"Uh, actually, Ri..." I trail off when I look behind me and don't find him there where I had thought he would be. I'd told him he could ask them for permission and he had walked down with me till their room. "Hold on," I tell them and walk to the doorway and look to the right and then left where I find him hiding by the wall. I give him a chastising look while he is pleading me, nervous, not wanting to do this thinking they will say no.

He can be a baby sometimes.

Shaking my head, I grab his wrist and pull him inside. I literally have to drag him for a few seconds until my parents see him and call his name. "Rihaan?" That is finally when he stops fighting back and stands upright, willingly walking inside.

Mom and dad again share a look after seeing my hand around his wrist. Mom speaks up, "If you two are here to tell us what's going on between you, I think we all saw that yesterday."

Huh. Ofcourse they did. I did kiss his cheek at the party after that hug and a few tears. They might have not heard anything as we weren't in the dead center of the party but yes, their eyes could have followed to us and saw everything.

Seeing Rihaan is standing there a statue, biting his lip in nervousness, I answer. "No, that's not... Rihaan actually has something to ask you two."

They avert their gaze to him, waiting. I pinch his arm to get him out of whatever scenario he is imagining in his head that has his face so pale.

*✧✤--------------------------✤✧*

| Author Note |

There you have it! :D I hope it was sweet... or something? 

QOTC: How do you expect La and Sam to react?