"Again."

The sound of Zain's running feet increased to a faster pace, he did another lap around the track and still he hasn't improved. As he got closer to me, expecting for me to accept his lazy attempt of running, I crushed his hopes. "Again."

He groaned while throwing his head back, this is exactly what's gonna keep him running this entire day.

We woke up this morning at 6:30 and came here for some muscle building. Zain's been running for about an hour and a half with 3 breaks in between. Yeah I know this seems a little harsh but he's got to learn the most important key about running.

He's been freaking huffing and puffing like a dying dog, this is unacceptable, it's been 2 years since he asked me to train him and we haven't even gotten to the actual training yet. His body needs to be prepared for the things that I am going to teach him, I can't allow him to have a weak body.

Zain was rounding towards me, "M-mommy...I-I'm tired.." He whined while taking breathes in between his words. I rolled my eyes and put my book down, gosh and I was getting to the good part.

I faced his hunched over body, "Stand up" I said interrupting his poor way of trying to breathe. He immediately stood up, his body was swaying a little from the sudden move.

"Follow what I do." I said before taking a slow body filling breath, he followed but not completely. His breaths were slow but he didn't allow the oxygen to fill every organ in his body.

"Stop, your doing it wrong. Let the air flow through your body. Take slow deep breathes and release at the same pace."

We did it together a couple of times before his hectic breathing was under control. "Now drink some water and give me 3 more laps using the same breathing technique."

Zain's mouth hung open as his eyes were ready to crawl out of his sockets. "What? But mommy-"

"I don't wanna hear it, this is what you asked for so this is what you'll get, and trust me it'll get a whole lot worse." I said before going back to reading my book.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Ughhhhhh, I don't think I'll ever finish my book. Ant came running to me with what seems to be another one of those disgusting bugs he finds in the grass.

He smiled widely as he put the bug in my personal space, eww it was a centipede. The body wiggled extensively, trying to get out of his hold.

Ant giggled, "Wook! Wook! A worm with l-legs!" He said mispronouncing look, I chuckled and placed my hand out for him to give me the centipede. He happily gave it to me, "D-do you like it, mommy?" He asked sweetly.

I smiled and went in to kiss his forehead, "of course I love it. Do you know what it's called?" Ant shook his head no, "Is it worm with legs?"

Another chuckle escaped my lips as my 3 year old guessed the most obvious name. "No, it's called a centipede." Ant's mouth let out a stream of 'oh's' before he tried to pronounce the word himself.

"Ceecepee." Now that's no where near what I said but I'll let him believe that. "You did a good job trying to pronounce it."

Ant giggled happily and turned his head to follow his running brother on the track. He then pointed at him, "I-I wanna try."

Cupping is his small face in my hand, he looked up at me. "When you get older you'll try." I said. The only way I'll get him to do this is if he truly wants to do it. I don't want him to feel like he has to do it because his brother and I know martial arts.

Maybe he'll change his mind when he gets old, and decide to be some artist or an engineer of some sort. Either way, I'll still love him.

Ant nodded before taking the centipede out of my hand and running back to the grassy area he was in. I thought that was my gift? He just took it back like it was his, of course he would. Ant is someone who'll get a person a gift that he likes.

I looked down at my watch and saw that it was about to be 9:30, I have a therapeutic appointment at 10:15, so I guess it's time to go.

After leaving the states and coming to Germany, Momo was able to find me at my dad's old house. She was alone with very occupied belly and as much as I tried to get her to leave she wouldn't. Momo was so persistent on having to let me hear her apology.

She apologized and then we argued and then we made up 3% of our relationship. I did give her therapy suggestion a try though, she set up an appointment with this person who she had known when she was school. Her name is Dr. Stewart, so far I've got nothing on her. She's clean and honest about things.

I won't say I trust her but at the same time I won't say I don't trust her, so overall I don't trust her. We've went over all of my traumas and ways to get over them and blah blah blah.
Now I wouldn't lie, she did help me become more open and I guess more humane.

Jade on the other hand hates her since all of the self-control practices I've learned from Dr. Stewart has prevented her from coming out.

My nightmares have decreased to a bare minimum, and with Dr.Stewart's methods of overcoming trauma I've been able to help Zain too. After getting kidnapped, beaten, and almost having to see me die, Zain's been having a hard time opening up and being his old self.

I've seen myself in him, he was always zoned out, barely getting any sleep, and had severe separation anxiety from his brother and I. After helping Zain use Dr.Stewart's methods, I've watched my old baby come back to life.

"Finished" Zain said breathing heavily a little. I smiled and stood up, he's finally getting the hang of this. "Good job, now let's go home. I have an appointment soon."