This chapter is dedicated to all my readers who waited patiently.

P.S. Isha91, here is the chapter as I promised dear.

Thank you so much for being patient with me.

Please read this before if not you all will be confused. Jeremy went to the hospital 14 days after the funeral. While Cassandra left Coltrane after almost 21 days  from the funeral.

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Jeremy  was staring at the door. Not once in his life he felt this helpless. He rubbed his face trying to calm down but how can he, after he signed off her fate. Jane sat down beside him. She stares at her son who is pale. His eyes, filled with pain. The terrible thought that he never wanted anything to do with Catherine and his baby was always on Jane's mind. Somewhere it was easy for her to blame him and she thought, she will never forgive him the way he treated Catherine but now looking at the man, Jane knows her thoughts were wrong. 

"I am sorry" Jane said softly trying to hug him but he did not let her. After that she put her hand over his. Now she regrets it. She should have told him even if that might have been going against Catherine's wish. Jeremy heard her but did not reply.

There was silence between them. He did to react at her words at all. But she can't blame him for that.

"Don't we need to inform her parents?" Jane asked. Jeremy silently pulled his phone and called Cassandra then extended it to Jane. He is nowhere near in any condition to have a nonchalant conversation with anyone. His emotions were all over the place.

Austin rushed as fast as he could. After hearing what condition Catherine is in. He knows a  c-section is a must. He rushed inside  and went straight to sterilize himself.

"What is her condition?" Austin asked the gynecologist as she explained her situation.

Jeremy stared at Austin as he walked in the operation door talking to the doctor. He waited with bated breath closing his eyes. Jane was sitting beside him still holding his hand. 

"It will be fine" Jane whispered seeing her only son on the verge of break down.

"What will be fine?" Jeremy asked. The thing is that she decided that he prioritizes the baby's life over her life. And the fact she did it to make him believe that he is nothing like his father. He closed his eyes a mixture of hurt,anger,  pain swirled inside with an overwhelming fear. He can feel himself breaking the cracks he always feels inside him gapping at him. He does not know what will happen now? Will he ever get to see her again?

"I won't forgive you if you die" Jeremy said out loud his voice hoarse.

"Why won't you?" before he could look up, warm hands wrapped around him. He felt secure as he left his mother's hand and wrapped his arm around her too. Tears fall from his eyes.

"Jeremy?" Cassandra whispered softly and rubbed his head. Jane was shocked looking at the girl who looked exactly like Catherine. Not only that , his son holding her. He won't even let her hug him. She looked down ashamed of herself. Coltrane was standing silently.

He blinked his eyes staring at the lady.

"Cassandra, I.. I don't want to lose her'' He said, pulling her into his arms.

"I know" She rubbed his hair. She cannot console him. All this time Catherine was there for her when she needed her most even if she was going through all this heartbreak. Something drawn on her along with what a great mother she is. Nothing like her. Catherine chose to save her baby instead of her. And what she did killing her own. 

'Now is not the time to indulge in self pity' Cassandra shook her head and looked at Coltrane.

"Can you call her parents?" Cassandra asked Coltrane who was standing there silently. He noticed how she called 'her' parents not my parents. He gave her a brief nod and walked away.

"I.. I don't want to lose her"  Jeremy said painfully. 

She did not reply to that this time. She can't even if she tries she has no idea what to say. Even if she says, she is going to make it but is it true? Will she?

"Austin is working on her. We need to have faith in her" Her words seem calculative even to her ears. Jane looked at Cassandra shocked instead of consoling her broken son she was giving him a vague answer. 

"How could you be so cold?" Jane's words came out before she could stop herself. 'Cold?' She is always cold. This is a defense mechanism she created around her. As long as she acts nonchalantly everything is harmless. And who the hell is this woman to tell her she is cold. What does she want her to do? Give him false hope, with that thought anger settled in.

"I don't give false hope" Cassandra replied coldly, the thing that never gives hope is another matter she does not want to discuss with her. 

Cassandra glared at the woman who is a single mother but did she ever think about her own son trying to understand him but now she is standing here and giving her lectures. If she wanted if only she tried, she could have stopped it. Stop all this.

"And keep your opinions to yourself Ms. McGill. You are one of the reasons that this is happening" Cassandra said coldly. Jeremy hugged her tightly as if asking her not to say anything anymore. Jane's eyes wide as tears fill her eyes. Cassandra looked away.

The moment Coltrane returns,  he can fill the tension. Jane is crying. Cassandra seems nonchalant.

"Please," Jeremy whispered, his voice breaking a bit.

They waited for any news.

In fifteen minutes, Carson and Carina rushed in. Afraid that this might be the last time they saw their daughter. Carina was going mad, she  could feel her anger rising as she saw Jeremy hugging Cassandra while her daughter was fighting for life because of that bastard's baby.

"If anything happens to my daughter I will kill you" She yelled. 

"Carina" Carson was the first to interrupt. He does not want a mess. Cassandra jumped a fear she knew very well ran down her spine. Jeremy might have felt it as he held her tightly.

"How the hell can this bastard sit here hugging her while my daughter is dying?" Carina said her voice cracked and tears filled her eyes. Jane's eyes widen as she glares at her.

"Don't you dare call him that?" She snapped.

"Why shouldn't I? Isn't it true?" Carina spatted words laced with hatred. Jane's eyes widened. She was too shocked to reply to that.

"And you because of you my daughter is dying.." Carina was ready to launch herself.

Cassandra gripped his shirt, before she let him go and stood up ,"Why is it every one of you behaving like this is not your fault?" 

"Why is everyone behaving as if this is all Jeremy's fault?"

"Why are you behaving like you don't know what you did? Or did you forget it?" Cassandra glared at Carina coldly as she walked forward.

"Who the hell do you think you are standing there and blaming him? When she ran away you were much more concerned about saving your business and reputation rather than finding her? Now you feel sad? How dare you stand there and accuse him when you are as much at fault as he is?" Cassandra asked her coldly.

"How dare you?" Carina burst out and about to slap her when Coltrane stepped in.

"Don't touch her" He warned her coldly. Jeremy closed his eyes trying to control himself. He takes a deep breath.

"Just because I regret what I did to you. Does not mean I will choose you  over Catherine. So shut your mouth when it has nothing to do with you?" Carina glared at her.

"Regret?" She laughed.

"You have some nerve standing their and talking about regret" 

"If you are trying to snatch my daughter's happiness I will not forgive you.."

"Happiness? Do you even care if people around you are happy or not? You are miserable and you always tried to make others miserable and blame others for your pathetic excuse of a life. You did not even care about your own fucking daughter" Carnia was about to slap her when Coltrane stepped in grabbing her hand, gripping it enough to make her winch before letting her go. Cassandra flinched, glaring at her as tears rolled down her cheek.

"Shut up" Jeremy busted.

"What the fuck do you think you are all doing? She is dying damn it and you are fighting, pointing fingers at each other. Get out. I said Get out . If you want to create problem than get the fuck out of here. Do you hear me? I said out? " He yelled, breathing harder as he glared at every one of them. But his eyes landed on Cassandra who looked down her cheeks red. She tried to defend him but he does not want her to.

Tears he was holding back fall rolled down his cheeks and he cried. Not bothering with the crowd he can't hold back anymore.

"I am sorry" Cassandra was the first to say and take a seat on the waiting chair.

Jane looked at her son horrified; she tried to hug him but he pushed her away again. He did not want her assurance when she could have stopped all of this from happening.

"I love her. I want her to live. Why? Why does she need to choose between her life and our baby's life? Why can't I be the one?"

"Why? Why does she love me when I put her through hell? When I make her cry and regret every day? When I throw her out of the house just to prove a point? When I make a mess out of her? When I hurt her? How could she smile at me and tell me that she loves me? Why? Why? Why? Why damnit?" Jeremy choked his emotions going hearsay. Cassandra looked down. He was sitting in front of the operating room crying.  Jeremy was not someone who let his emotions out in front of everyone. She sat down in front of him.

"You love her too" 

"I know. I do even though I never said that out loud to her" he whispered.

"She knows too," Cassandra said.

"She chose to keep the baby because of me too you know. Just so that I could prove that I am nothing like my father. I.. I ... she knows how my mother's opinion matters to me. I.. I.." Jeremy did not know what he was saying anymore. 

"Sh.. It's alright" Cassandra hugged him and this time he crumbled in her arms.

"It's alright to cry. It's alright if your emotions do not make sense. It's alright to feel hurt. It's alright to let it out. It's alright to let go. It's alright if nothing makes sense" he hugged her sobbing. 

Sometimes I want to scream and cry and ask someone why? Why am I going through this? When will this end? Sometimes I wanted some to say it's alright to let it go. Sometimes I want someone to ask how I feel? 

Coltrane blinked back the tears that were the same words she wrote on her letter.

It's been quite a while everyone is silent after his outburst.

"How are you feeling?" Cassandra asked after she made sure he stopped crying.

"Better" he whispered. Till no news on Catherine. 

Austin walked out of the operating room. He was still wearing his surgical mask. A nurse came out after him holding a crying baby. Cassandra eyes widen. Jeremy's breath hitched. He couldn't stop looking at the small creature crying softly.

"Congratulations you are a father of a beautiful and healthy baby girl" Austin said.

"She needs to be in the incubator for a while after that you can meet her" this was Dr. Brown. Who was with him for the entire operation.

"Ho.. how is she?" Jeremy asked after taking a deep breath.

"I removed the blood clot but she lost a huge amount of blood. We need to do a C.T. scan to see if there is any brain damage due to the blood loss. We are going to keep her under observation for the next 24 hours if she regains her consciousness then she will be out of danger" Austin said nonchalantly. 

"Will she be alright?" Jeremy asked.

"I can't  answer that. We need to wait" Austin looked straight in his eyes making sure he saw the truth.

"Can I see her?" He asked again

"No" this time Dr.Brown replied and explained to him what is going on. Jeremy listened to her carefully.

"I am going to wait here. Mother go back home take rest if anything in her condition changes I will call you" Jeremy said as he took a seat. 

"But.." Jane tried to protest.

"I will wait with him. Don't worry"  Cassandra looked at her giving her a brief nod. Jane was shocked this was the same girl who was being rude and cold a while ago but she is kind which she realized just now. Her hand extended as she pat her cheeks the same way she caressed Catherine.

"Thank you," Jane said before walking out.

Austin come out dress change, 
"I need to check on Meera and Maryln. I will be back in half an hour" he said.

"I called a neurosurgeon. He will be here to see her reports and give you the green signal" Austin explained to Jeremy who just nodded his head.

24 hours,  Every hour seems like a year. Fretting, worrying  about the underlying danger. Austin comes back after almost two hours with a doctor who seems familiar. Later on Cassandra remembered, he is Aaron.

"Cassandra?" Aaron said or questioned her. The urge to ignore him was threatening to come out. She wanted to turn her face away but stealing her resolve was easier; this might be the side effects of Ronald's therapy. That's when she noticed how she stopped calling him Ernest.

"Yes?" She said standing up. Jeremy was looking at him too for any news or why is he here? Or any other explanation.

Aaron after staring at her for a while he decided to be professional and turn to Jeremy.

"She is fine, I did not see any internal damage. Her brain is working properly" He smiled at Jeremy reassuringly.

"You heard him" Austin came out smiling in relief.

"She will be fine if she can hold onto this for another 22 hours"

"Can I talk to you?"  Aaron asked  Cassandra. She turns to look around only to see Coltrane glaring at Aaron. 

"Okay" she nodded her head going to a scheduled area. They talked but first thing first he apologized about how he talked to her all those years ago. He was hurt seeing the woman he loves with another man when he was determined to propose to her. Cassandra was shocked too. She never thought about his emotions; she was way too wasted in hers to notice outside of it. So, she apologized to say how sorry she was to hurt his emotions unknowingly.

After that they said goodbye promising to meet again and talk. Not before Aaron reassuring her that Catharine will be alright.

"How do you know Aaron?" Austin asked, confused.

"We were classmates," Cassandra replied. 

After that everything went back to silence. Jeremy paced around sometime he went to watch his daughter in the incubator. That's the only time he feels peaceful looking at his daughter who has his black hair even though it's just a speck of hair, he can already tell. He wandered, what will be her eyes colour?

After waiting through the whole night Catherine came around for four times which according to Austin this is a good thing. They checked her blood pressure which is low other than that her vitality seems normal.

26 hours

That's how much time they spend. Jane comes back with food for them including Carson and Carina.

The nurse who tended to her came out huffing and puffing. Before calling doctors. 

Dr.Brown came and checked on her before calling Austin. 

Austin was out when he got the call. He rushed back as fast as he could sterilizing himself and checked on her.

Catherine was still on her bed, as she looked at Austin checking in her pulse. She can't feel her lower back at all which makes her panic.

"We did a C-section. If you can't feel your legs it's normal. When the anesthetic wears off you will again feel them" He explained which calms her down.

"Where is my baby..?" She did not get to finish her sentence as he injected something in her. 

"Shift her to a private room" he ordered the nurse.

Austin smiled at Jeremy, " She is out of danger"

Relief washed over everyone who was struggling with their dark thoughts.

"After she recovers, Catherine will come with me," Carina said, more like an order where no one said anything. Jeremy did not oppose that because somewhere in him, he also thinks that's the best solution at least she did not have to stay in their toxic relationship.

His eyes followed her as they moved her. She looked pale and sickly with a pipe and tube attached to her. It tore his heart.

Now all they need to do is wait till she wakes up again.

"Will they get their happy ending?" Cassandra asked softly. Austin was standing right beside her shrugging his shoulder.

"Do you want your own happy ending?" Austin asked. She looked at him before shaking her head, "I don't know"

"But you are staying with Coltrane" he said that not as a question.

"I am"

"Are you happy?" He asked.

"I don't know," she said.

"Then why?"

"Why what?" She asked him.

"Why don't you leave him?"

"I can't. I can't find myself a reason to leave him"

"If you have the opportunity to leave him. Will you take it?" He asked.

"I don't know and I don't think I can find that opportunity you speak of" Cassandra shakes her head.

"I don't know what I should feel what I should not feel?"

"You know for a fraction of second I feel jealous of them. You asked me if I am happy? But what is happiness Austin? I could not feel something like that which does not exist"

"That's something you need to find yourself," Austin said. That's the only thing he said before walking out.

Again the waiting game started.

**************

In the near future,

After Cassandra leaves Coltrane..

They did not talk after her break down. Cassandra was sitting on the couch sipping water from the glass Austin placed in front of her.

"It was your plan," Cassandra said coldly. Austin nodded his head.

"I am sorry" 

"It's all right" she closed her eyes.

"It was just me presenting the opportunity for you to get away. So, Why did you do that?" Austin asked.

"I thought he would stop me" Cassandra looked down, closing her eyes even though she had no tears to cry but her heart ached.

"Do you want him to stop you?" He asked.

"I do, I did"

"I .. I love him"

"I can never imagine myself being happy without him," Cassandra said.

"We went on a date. My first ever date" 

"I was happy for a fleeting second. I feel like everything between us was normal," She smiled as another tear rolled down her eyes. 

"Am I shattered beyond repair that I wanted him to force me to stay just to make myself feel better?" She asked again. 

"That's not true Cassandra that's not true" Austin said. 

"I.. I.."

"I thought I was doing this for me, Ronald was right, slowly I was losing myself. I can't even recognize myself. Before losing myself completely I wanted to stop it and you give me a push and I did it." Cassandra closed her eyes.

"But why? Why do I feel like if I  am this way he will love, pity me and that's fine by me?:

"I never wanted anyone pity but now I am crumbling. I am not making sense to myself"

"Ronald asked me to make myself happy but how could I forget what makes me happy except this twisted feeling that I have for him" she choked.

"This is not twisted Cass" Austing wiped her cheeks.

"What you feel for Coltrane is something pure and selfless?" Austin looked away for a while taking a deep breath.

"Cassandra, you are unhappy and Coltrane might be the only source of your happiness. But that does not mean you should return to him" Austin  rubbed his head.

"Being dependent on your emotions always hurts you. I have seen you shattering I don't want that"

"Even if he is the only man you could ever love I want you to be dependent on yourself. Can you do this for yourself?" Cassandra closed her eyes. 

"You want me to live my life without him?" She asked.

"No, It does not matter what I want. What matters is what you want?" Austin returned and questioned her.

"Can I live without him?" She asked herself.

Cassandra stared for a while as those tears dried up.

"You know he loves me and he truly does" Cassandra said looking at Austin who was just waiting for her to calm down.

"I waited for him to grab my hand and stop me but he did not. He clenched his fist pretending that he was asleep" she said, closing her eyes.

"I know something too. That the only man I ever loved is going to be the only man I will ever love" she looked at Austin, he smiled at her softly.

"I don't think I can be happy without him but staying with him makes me doubt myself.  I.. I '' Cassandra trailed off as tears gathered in her eyes.

"You are wrong," Austin said. He has a far away look as he said that.

"In the whole world the only thing that can make you happy is not someone or something but you, yourself" he pointed his index finger at her heart.

"Just because you choose yourself does not mean you are happy. The only way you could be happy is to accept yourself."

"You told me that you don't have any opportunity to leave him so I give you that opportunity not because I want you to leave him and choose yourself but because I want to see you happy. Being with him might have made you happy but what will happen if he leaves you again. Will you crumble down? Shattered?broken?" Austin asked bluntly the thing he wanted to ask alway but hold back so that not to hurt her.

"I don't want him to be the reason you are happy. I want you to be happy so that if he ever lets you go or hurts you, you can come to me, stand tall with confidence and tell me that being with that jerk is not worth your time, while rolling your eyes. Can you do that? Can you make yourself happy? Will you be the reason for your happiness? Will you take responsibility for your happiness?" He asked. Cassandra stared at him as tears fell from her eyes.

"Please" Austin begged.

"Please Cassandra make you happy. Be happy and smile like you mean it. Don't try to make others happy. Please" the tears Austin was holding back fall one by one. 

"It cuts me seeing you going through the same thing over and over getting hurt having a breakdown. I don't want that please" 

Cassandra hugged him, how could she forget that she hurt him just as much as she hurt herself but Austin never complained about it. He never said that she hurt him. Why does she alway become selfish when it comes to him? Why?

"Austin I am sorry. I am so sorry.  I promise you that I will make myself happiest. So, please forgive me? Please" Cassandra said her eyes held determination. The same determination he wanted her to show. After healing she can go back to that asshole if she wants but for now Coltrane needs to stay as far away from her as possible.

"It's alright" Austin hugged her tightly. 

After their emotional breakdown both of them were exhausted.

"Give me the keys I want to return to my apartment"

"Stay here" He suggested.

"No, I want to stay alone for a while" She refused. Austin sighed giving her the key. She went out without looking back.

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Thank you so much for reading dear readers.

I know this is a late update and I am sorry for that. I actually written this chapter a long time ago but for some reason I can't find it anywhere. So, I had to re-write the whole chapter.

Do share you comments and thoughts

Until next time..