Enjoy reading ..

********

That night.

Drink after drink nothing makes Jeremy forget about her warmth. He staggered calling a taxi. As soon as he opened the door of his apartment suffocating built up.

Jeremy does not have a good childhood since his mother Jane was depressed and going through trust issues. Jane was obsessed about making sure that Jeremy is nothing like his father. She put him through mental pressure as her anxiety increased as he decided to show the same interests as his father.

She forbids him of many things to the point of trying to threaten him if he decides to do anything related to his father, she will kill herself even though he has no idea what he was resembling. When Jeremy was a child she pushed things on him just for her own mental satisfaction.

Jeremy was terrified at first but as he grew up he understood his mother's deligma. He gave up various things he liked just to make Jane happy. With his help Jane came out of the depression and anxiety but his mother's trust issues never get resolved. He suffered for that. Trying to keep his emotions bottle up and pretend to live a normal life. To the point where everything seemed suffocating.

When he saw Catherine for the first time, Jeremy got to know she was suffering from the same thing as he is. Helping her gives him mental satisfaction. Something he cannot do for himself. Slowly that satisfaction started changing into adoration. And he fell for her.

After that Jeremy decided he needed to apply the suggestions he gave out for his own. Fight with his mother just to do what he wanted in his life. But for him that ended up as a disaster as his mother's trust issues skyrocketed.

Jane started to say that he was becoming like his father and that she did not give birth to him for that. Hurting his emotions again and again to the point that he was used to it. But that day when he was accused of molestation. He wanted his mother to support him.

At least hear him out, his side but she refused. That breaks his heart and with Catherine's betrayal his life shattered to the point he himself cannot pull it together. The two most important women in his life break him.

Jeremy looked down as another tear fell from his eye. Why is he so messed up? He cannot comprehend how he will react next time. His emotions are all over the place and he was doing nothing to gather it because deep down he feels like this will happen again and that time, He will again regret picking up these pieces.

Trying to get drunk was becoming difficult as he revisited his childhood.

************

Cassandra looked at the letter, Coltrane handed her. For some weird reason she feel like not reading it and tear it. For some unknown reason her hand trembles as she feels suffocated.

"If you want me to give you privacy I will leave for a while" Coltrane said. She just nodded her head.

When she was alone, she opened the letter with bated breath, her hand trembling as cold sweat broke on her forehead.

Cassandra,

There was nothing, not even a dear, she mocked herself. Her eyes trailed down.

If you are reading this letter then I am dead already. I know this is not the right thing to do but I don't have the face to tell this to you directly.

She bite her lips taking another deep breath before continuing.

When I left you, You were an infant being a single mother all of sudden come as a shock especially when Carson backed away from the responsibility. I was torn and looking at your face was painful for me. I needed a reason to keep going forward in my life. I did what I thought was right and left you. I was not in any mental condition to nurture you.

She closed her eyes feeling a slide bit hurt. She opened her eyes,

I need a reason to move forward and pinning everything on you was the only way I can feel guilty free. No the truth was It was easy as long I hated you someone who does not know anything about the truth. I keep my consciousness clear while thinking you hate me too.

She chuckled painfully.

It was easy. I didn't feel anything and as it went by I forgot. But after your first suicide attempt everything came back crashing on me. The thing that I actually felt was sadness and regret but I cannot show that and the thought you hated me too just made it easy.

I always thought you hated me and it was fine by me. Because as long as I feel that way I can live a normal life. When I heard I was dying I needed ways to keep my son protected and save that's why I tried to enter your life again.

That day when I visited you I heard your story and my thoughts where that you really do hate me. Pushed away my guilt. I was going to die and I thought Why not take you with me at least so that my son can have a better life?' But I failed after that and I said horrible things.

She choked as tears filled her eyes in self loathe.

When you came to visit me I was shocked. I thought, no I wanted to believe that you were there to mock me. I was so sure that you wanted to make me burn in agony just like I did. That dulled that burning pain in me and I said many dreadful things again on that assumption. I even told you I wished that you were not born. What kind of mother do that?

You did not come because you hated me. It was me who wanted that.

But you just forgive me and ask me to start a new life. You did that without hesitating without saying how you hated me. You give up your inheritance.

The thing I always wanted for which I hated my own daughter she served it to me on a silver platter.

I can't believe how lucky I am that you are my daughter and how unlucky I am that I never appreciated it.

I am sorry

I am so sorry

I wished I could go back in the past and undo what I did.

I wished I could take back my words.

I wished I could hold you and tell you that I love you.

I wished I could have been a proper mother to you.

I am grateful that I give birth to you.

I am happy that your name is Cassandra

I am sorry as a mother I failed you and god is punishing me.

Cassandra be happy, child and you deserve to be happy.

I know what I did. I don't have any right to act as your mother but please cherish your life because your grandfather and grandmother loved you unconditionally. They will be very sad to see you like this after all when I give birth to you. Your grandfather was there, he held you closer and whispered that he wants the best for you and he loves you a lot. I saw my father teared up for the first time as your grandma held your head stroking your head and You smiled eye closed. He will never throw you out of the family tree because for him you were his precious granddaughter.

So for them, live your life happily with lots of love.

Sorry,
Cassandra

Another tear trail down as she sobbed clutching the letter.

"Cassandra?" Coltrane walked in to see her breaking down.

"Is it supposed to make me happy?" She asked.

The letter slipped from her hand, Cassandra stared at the tomb as a tear fell from her eyes.

Coltrane picked up the letter to read it.

"She explained her reason to hate me" the soft whisper would have been unheard if not for the deadly silence. He gulped down as his eyes glided over the words.

She turn to look at him, her eyes held unwanted tears, "I hate myself"

"Can you imagine I understand why she hates me? Why is it so easy because I do too?"

"As horrible as it may sound I know ,It's easy to hate me and for once I am glad that she hated me not her parents" her words were heart breaking as she smiled.

"Cassandra " Coltrane looked at her horrified. She smiled as another tear fell from her eyes.

"I forgive you. You know, I wished I never came in your life. You would have a normal life at least" Coltrane does not know for whom those words are for because it seems like she is telling everyone in her life.

"My grandfather loved me. I forget all about that dwelling in self loathing, degrading myself, hurting myself and having low self esteem. Even having thoughts like, Why am I alive? I have had enough"

Cassandra takes a deep breath wiping her tears. She held her head high, "I lived enough for everyone now I want to live for myself"

"Coltrane, I want a divorce" She said her voice sounded cold. Coltrane looked at her dumbfound.

"Don't try to blackmail me I don't care" her voice was devoid of any emotions.

"And I will be taking Cameron with me," She said.

************

Jeremy woke up early the next day he went to his office but before that he went to his mother's house. He was just standing outside not entering. He shook his head and went to work.

For the next few days he was just watching her from outside as she smiled and laughed alongside his mother. It was heartwarming and more soothing than alcohol. He chuckled painfully.

If only he could enter and hug her, "Jeremy" he froze.

He was too into his thoughts that he did not notice his mother approaching him.

He turned to enter his car," Jeremy I know you are standing here and watching her. It's almost two weeks. Why don't you go in and be with her?"

"It's none of your business" Jeremy said coldly before entering the car rushing out.

"Jeremy stop, please listen..." Jane yelled, crying out.

Catherine comes out hearing her, "Jane?" She asked.

"Was it Jeremy?" She asked with her eyes hopefully looking at her that brought a fresh set of tears in Jane's eyes.

"Yes" She whispered.

"Where is he?" Catherine asked as her eyes wandered to find no one.

"I am sorry" Jane cried sobbing.

"I am so sorry"

"It's okay," Catherine hugged her softly.

If only he knew that what his mother was going to tell him would destroy his life only after two weeks, just 14 days.

After that day he stopped visiting his mother's house. Although he used Rose to send food and fruits. He kept it to himself.

It was midnight, Jeremy was still in his office exhausted. He went to his house, took a shower and went directly to bed. He was too exhausted to receive his phone.

First two calls were not received even then his phone constantly rang. He sighed sitting up rubbed his face feeling ready to scold anyone but the caller id shocked him, "Hello"

"Jeremy, Jeremy" Jane's voice
come choked.

"What is it? Calm down and tell me" He said as something kin to fear crawled in his stomach.

"Hospital. Come to the hospital now" his mother's dragged voice shocked him. After that the only thing he heard was the beeping line.

Hospital??

Jeremy stands up grabbing his wallet and car keys. He rushed down putting on his jacket. His heart galloped in fear to the point that he forgot to ask about which hospital. He took a deep breath and rushed to the nearest hospital from his mother's home.

His palm sweated nothing happened to her right the last time Jeremy talked to her, she was smiling at him softly. If there was anything wrong she would have told him, Or would she?

He shook his head no, nothing happened. What could happen? She is only seven months pregnant. Right?

Right?

Right?

Jeremy parked the car running up to the receptionist, "Catherine.. Catherine McGill" he asked hurriedly as his eyes darted everywhere.

"She is in room no. 104, Sir" the receptionist said. He walked up to the room number. His mother was pacing around.

"Mom?" He called her.

Jane snapped her widen tears falling from her eyes. She rushed up to him hugging him.

"Jeremy" she cried.

"What happened? Where is she?" He asked, pushing her away.

"She... she was bleeding. I don't know what happened other than that?" She cried that's when the doctor came out.

"What is it? Doctor" Jeremy asked.

"Who are you to the patient?" The doctor asked.

"Her husband" Jeremy said choking on those words, he is anything but a husband.

"The mother has a hemorrhage . She already lost lots of blood. We need to remove the baby otherwise both the mother and the baby will die. Please sign those permission papers we need to proceed" the doctor said. Jeremy felt numb.

"What did you just say?" He asked again not believing his words.

"We are sorry"

No

No

No

Those are not the words he wanted to hear.

"What am I going to do with a sorry? Save my wife" He yelled at the doctor.

"She already lost too much blood, it's a matter of time before she loses her life," the doctor said.

"How could you say that?" Jeremy was about to punch the doctor when Jane intervened.

"Why are you protecting the doctor?" He asked ready to kill him.

"Are you out of your mind Jeremy? Sign those documents and let him proceed at least to save the baby" Jane words shocked him more.

"How could you say that?" He whispered. He knew he was being illogical but his logic side which usually works so well vanished into thin air.

"The doctor already told her that she might lose her life while giving birth to the baby. But she decided to do this. Respect her decision Jeremy"

"Respect her decision" he whispered. The hell he will.

"I want the best doctors for her and I will pay for anything" the doctor looked at him.

"Even the best surgeon cannot save her Jeremy" Jane said crying trying to stop his madness before he loses his baby too.

"I don't care, Who is the best surgeon?" He asked the doctor.

"Austin McGregor but he is not from our.." the doctor said.

Jeremy's eyes widen, he stands up rubbing his eyes he called the first person.

"Austin, please help"

Austin was shocked when Jeremy called him. But he knows something is wrong.

"Tell him" the doctor was shocked before taking the phone, never in his life he thought he would get to talk to him. Austin told him everything. Jeremy waited with bated breath when the doctor handed over the phone and rushed inside.

"I will be there as first as I can and sign those papers" the line went dead.

With shaky hands he signed those papers. Tears fell from his eyes, Jeremy felt like he just signed her up for death.

"Why?" He asked Jane.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. Jane looked away.

"She asked me not to say a word about it" Jane's word stung him as
He remembered the last time he met her.

Catherine hugged him and told him that he was nothing like his father.

But after what she did he was worse than his father.

"Please" he begged.

"Ask her not to leave me" he said crying.

"Why?" He asked.

"Why did you decide to keep the baby?" He cried.

"She wanted to make me believe that you are nothing like your father" his eyes widened at Jane's words.

"She told me, every time I get angry at what you did to her? That you are not like this. That it was her fault" Jeremy felt choked.

He sit down as everything crashed on him. He is going to lose her all his emotions where hearsay.

"I love her"

"I always did and always will" at last those words came out of his mouth but there was no one to hear that.

"I love you too," he whispered.

**************

Thank you for reading dear readers, I know I am anything but consistence.

Sorry for that. I am really sorry.

I deeply apologize.

So there's a question what do you want the baby's gender should me boy/girl? I have not decided yet so I am going to count comments which one will get more vote that will be the baby gender...

P.S. me being lazy🤭🤭🤭

Oh and I might have again changed Austin's surname because I have not decided yet.

Anyway let's see how Coltrane take Cassandra's words...

Until next time..

26 February