Here you go another chapter this is for all those readers who I promised fast updates.

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Jeremy drove away as fast as he could. After the initial anger he felt overwhelmed by guilt.  He hit the steer wheel stopping the car in the middle of nowhere. 

Her standing there vulnerable between him and the wall. Her down casted fearful eyes eat away his sanity. Her pleasing voice and when she gives up. Let him do whatever he wanted, flash though his eyes. He rubbed his face.

"Damn it" Jermey yelled, breathing harshly. He felt the back of his eyes burnt with unwanted tears. Why the hell is his life this complicated?

He always hated when she cried and here he was making her cry the most. 

What his mother said makes sense now? Was he abusing her?

Yes he was. He just proved his mother right and if Catherine hated him for this it is justified. Because no amount of lies can justify his action even though she is his wife or is she?

That doesn't even matter now. He took a deep breath, the urge to go back and see what she was doing invaded his senses but he held onto this urge. As much as he wanted to do that, they are unhealthy for each other. Whenever she is around him, he always makes her scared and jumpy. Most of the time she does not even look at him and do whatever he wants.

And that is not something that will go away easily or change anytime soon. Because whenever Catherine is around him, his thoughts wander to what she did? The hurt bubbled up in him with anger and hatred.  

As the days went by it was only increasing, Jeremy sighed. But first and foremost he needs to think that she is pregnant. He dialed Dr.Brown phone number to book an appointment tomorrow. And than he called Rose his assistant that she needed to call his home number tomorrow for a reminder of the hospital appointment. It's almost bittersweet that she is pregnant with his baby. He needs to take his mind off of unwanted things.

Jeremy searched the nearest bar. Drinking might make people forget but for him it's only refreshing memories and he is stuck as those memories replayed on and on, till he goes mad. He cannot get drunk that easily than what was he doing here? He asked himself in mockery.

The bartender was looking at him curiously. Many people came here to pour out their hurt, anger and sadness. She was waiting for this handsome man to do the same.

Drink after drink only make his guilty surface and what he did. He gritt his teeth closing his eyes taking a deep breath before opening her eyes.

"Hello darling. I can make you forget your pain" Jeremy looked up for the first time to notice the bartender.

Jeremy chuckled, no one can make him forget anything. He is messed up. The woman he loves but does not want to do anything with her make a mess out of his life, how can he explain this to her or anyone else as a matter of fact. He paid the bill and silently walked out of there.

Jeremy made his way to the same hotel he stayed when he came here for Coltrane wedding. Another bitter reminder of what exactly he sighed himself yp for.He signed.

Jeremy walked in no one stopped or asked him anything. The concierge hand him the keys to which he give her a brief nod of acknowledgement. He went straight to the bed, closing his eyes, only to see her frightened eyes.

"I need to sleep," Jeremy groaned, sleep and leave everything behind. He woke up early in the morning and went straight to his office after taking a shower.

"James, I don't want any visitors. Make sure everyone know" He warned James, who did not said anything knowing his boss is in a bad mood. Jeremy entering his office he strictly warned Rose not to let anyone enter or he will have her job.

*************

Coltrane wake up after a while only to hear a commotion going inside the room.

"You want to go see him? For what?" Cassandra asked Catherine glaring at her.

"You.. you don't understand. Cassandra. I.. need to meet him, see him" Catherine looked at her blinking her eyes.

"Do you know why no one knows about that? Because Jeremy never intended for anyone to find out about this" Cassandra said the words as if she was talking to a kid.

"If you go ahead and confront him about this. It will only end up in a disaster. You will do more damage than you did before '' Cassandra yelled at Catherine but she only looked down.

Coltrane stand in front of the door watching them going back and forth, not them though Cassandra is the one doing all the speaking.

"Stop it Cassandra" He shook his head. Cassandra looked at him before turning away.

"Coltrane" Catherine whispered.

"He is in his office. If you want to go see him I will drop you off come on" Coltrane walked out saying that.

Cassandra watched as Catherine slowly got down from the bed and walked behind him. She stayed still should she go with them or let them go alone not to be a bother to anyone.

"Are you coming?" Coltrane asked her.

"No, You go." Cassandra sighed. He turned to walk away but stopped.

"Come with me, everything will be alright" Coltrane said those words extending his hand waiting for her to take it. Cassandra eyes his hand before shaking her head. He let his hand fall.

"I don't think anything is going to be alright anymore" Casandra said coldly.

"This will only mess her life up" She glared at him.

"Knowing very well how Jeremy will react, you are letting her go. Is this how much you love her?" Cassandra mocked him. His eyes widened.

"What do you want me to do? Hold her here against her wish" Coltrane asked gritting his teeth before stalking towards her.

"This is their fucking life and their relationship. Don't put you fucking input where it is not necessary damn it. This is the reason I hated you. If only you keep to your business we will not be in this crisis" Cassandra's eyes widen. Catherine looked at them horrified. She knows that something happened but Coltrane's saying that he hated her.

"Coltrane" Catherine called him before he could hurt Cassandra even more. That snapped him, he said whatever came in his mind but looking at Cassandra for once he wished, he thought what he said.

"I am sorry I cared" Cassandra coldly said those words. Her face is devoid of any emotions.

"Let's go, please" Catherine again intervened between them.

"Go with her, I can find my way to your house. It's not like I have anywhere else to go" She turned away from them. A stubborn tear slipped through her eyes.

Coltrane did not wait for her anymore. Catherine looked at them, she wanted to ask Coltrane to take her with them. Did he forget she is the one who actually injured her head?

Leaving her there might not be the right thing to do but Coltrane left knowing very well she is injured. He hurt her without any reason although she was looking out for Catherine.

It's as if Cassandra is his easy way out. He needs to stop doing this, for his sake as well as her. Coltrane rubbed his head before turning to Catherine who was sitting behind him.

"I am bringing her back. Will you wait for me?" Coltrane asked her.

Catherine  gave him a subtle nod before forcing a smile at him.

**********

Cassandra stand their shaking a bit few tears rolled down her cheeks stubbornly as she wipes them. She knows Coltrane hated her but why does hearing him hurt her this much.

Her heart cracked, she felt a warm hand wrapped around her, "Let me ...."

Cassandra turn only to find Austin. He hugged her tightly, "I am sorry" Austin said pulling her closer if possible. She relaxed after a while. She wanted to push him away and be angry at him. 

"For what?" Cassandra asked coldly.

"For what I did" Austin's hold tighten around her. The moment Cassandra left the hospital, he wanted to search for her. But Meera health was deteriorating and Marlyn is just a kid. He could not have abandon them.

"I was worried about you" Austin let her go.

"I went to the cafe but you were not there. Where have you been? Why did you leave? And why the heck I found those documents on your couch" Austin asked her to grab her shoulder. After the initial relief settled down he felt anger at her.

"I would transfer the cafe in your name for all the help you did all this years" Cassandra said coldly.

"I don't want that damn it" Austin rubbed his head.

"Why? I thought you would not want to see my face ever again" Cassandra looked away.

"I was angry," Austin looked down as he bitterly remembered those days.

"Seeing you on that bed for a medicinal overdose brings back those terrifying memories" Cassandra looked at his tear strained face hurt and was written on them.

"I am sorry" Cassandra said looking down.

"I did not tried to take my life not at that time at least" She told him softly, putting her hand on his cheeks rubbing his tears. He nodded his head softly. 

"How did you hurt your head?" Austin asked, rubbing her bandage.

"I just fell and hit my head" Cassandra removed her hand and rubbed her head.

"Be careful will you" Austin sighed then he noticed something.

"Who are you staying with?" He asked the last question.

"Let's not talk about that" Cassandra turn around. That's when she noticed Marlyn, who looked at them with surprised and a bit of a hurt expresion. The time she spent with Austin, he was always kind but a bit cold.  He does not speak too much but he comforted her when she needed it.

"Marlyn?" Csssandra asked her as she stared at her.

"Huh?" Marlyn blinked her eyes and forced a smile at her.

"How is Meera?" Cassandra visibly saw her confusion as her eyes dimmed. 

"Mom does not have much time left" Marlyn whispered those words.

"Oh! Marlyn, I am sorry sweetheart" Cassandra said those words. Marlyn's eyes flushed with tears as she shook her head as if saying it's ok.

"Hey! Don't cry I am right here" Austin said softly pulling her close to him hugging her. 

"Call me if you need anything? Or You can come with me now." Austin asked her. Cassandra shake her head, "Its alright I am fine" 

"I need to go" Austin said again.

"Its alright, Meera and Marlyn needs you more than me" Cassandra smiled at him as Austin grabbed Marlyn's hand pulling her with him, before walking off.

"I am sorry for leaving like this" Austin stopped and turned to her. Cassandra give him another comforting smile.

"I know. Marlyn has strong love" She told her. Marlyn gives her a subtle nod before looking down.

"So, Are you spying on me?" Cassandra asked turning towards him.

She sighed, rubbing her head. The painkiller worked for a while but she was feeling exhausted. 

"I was waiting" Coltrane said, she looked at him raising her eyebrows.

"For what?" Cassandra glare at him.

"For you to finish, Let's go" Coltrane said those words to her.

"I will drop Catherine off so we can go home," Coltrane told her. Her mouth agape as she felt shocked. She can feel her heart beat increasing at his words.

"It's not the first time you left me here" Cassandra remind him and herself bitterly.

"I was not thinking straight when I said those words to you. I know you were looking out for her. But you need to understand sometimes it's better to let go with the flow" Coltrane looked away.  This is all she get. He did not apologize, she looked down getting angry at him will get her nowhere.

Cassandra walked outside to his car. He opened the passenger seat and she took her seat. The drive to Jeremy's office was eerily silent. 

Catherine got down from the car thanking them. She looked at the building and her throat parched. Even when she was being adamant to see him now she was having doubts. How will he react?

She felt a shiver run down her spine.

*************

They arrived at his house. Cassandra get down and silently went in. He rushed behind her while throwing his keys to Ben.

"I want to talk to you," Coltrane  said, and she stopped in his living room.

"About?" Cassandra turned around.

"I need to talk privately" She sighed all she wanted to do is get away from him. But she went behind him to his room and took a seat on his couch. Coltrane closed the door. For a few moments he stayed silent. Then opened his mouth to talk.

"You asked me yesterday whether I wanted to see a psychiatrist or not," Coltrane said, almost uncomfortable.

Cassandra froze stiffly, her eyes widened, she did not think in her wildest dream that he would consider her suggestion but nod her head. Her hand shake her as she pressed her hands together.

"I already booked an appointment" Coltrane sighed, she sat down silently frozen, not bothering to say anything.

"Will you come with me?" He asked.

"No" Cassandra snapped before she could stop herself. Meeting the psychiatrist was not something she looked forward to. Not in this life never. She takes a deep breath trying to calm her nerves.

"If you feel like talking to them then.." Coltrane trailed off as she chuckled. 

"Talk about what?" Cassandra asked coldly, her eyes blank. She steady herself.

"Tell me Coltrane, Why do you all of a sudden want to build our relationship?" She asked.

"Is it because of Jeremy's suicide attempt? Are you pitying me because I tried to take my life?"  This was the first time she admitted that. Her words were emotionless.

"Do you try to mend this because of that?" Cassandra asked again. Coltrane sighed, his confidence faltered. That must be the reason she knows very well. She already asked and he answered 'I don't know' but she wanted him to tell her. Anything so that she has a reason to refuse him.

So that She doesn't feel any hope. Giving someone hope and breaking them is cruel. She don't want to hold on to his every word. She has given up her dream of happily ever after a long time ago. 

"That's not true. I just wanted you to talk to someone openly" Coltrane  said.Cassandra shake her head biting her lips.

"Talking is not going to solve my problem"  She sighed bitterly. She cannot put her feelings in words. If she could he would be the first one to know.

"Then how is it going to solve my problem?" Coltrane snapped.

"Moving on in your life and trying to find a reason to live is totally different to Coltrane" Cassandra whispered bitterly.

Isn't living without purpose is as good as dying?

"Don't you want to find that reason?" He asked her.

"Do you think I did not?" Cassandra said her voice shaking.

"I am still trying, Coltrane." She sighed, biting her lips.

"I am still struggling,"  She smiled brokenly. Her smile filled with pain and sorrow.

"It's not something I can get rid of that easily or ever I guess" Cassandra looked away.

They stayed silent. He stopped trying to persuade her. After a while, he asked,"Can you come with me then?"

Cassandra looked at him shocked, "how could you ask me something like that?"

It's something he should ask someone close to him. Someone he could trust unconditionally, not her, she mocked herself.

"I have no one else to ask" Coltrane told her.

Cassandra nod her head, smiling bitterly at his words. Of course she is his last restore. What was she thinking? No, the question is what was she hoping for?

"Just stay by myside" Coltrane said. For the first time in his life, he just wanted someone to be there for him. She sighed before nodding her head. 

"I will," Coltrane blinked his eyes before nodding his head and went to the bathroom. 

Cassandra looked down at her hand which was still shaking, she rushed out of his room to the room he gave her. She collapsed on the floor, her breathing shallow. She bit her lips. Stopping herself from crying. She curled up in a ball.

"Take a deep breath, Cassandra. It will be fine" Austin assured her.

"No" She snapped her hand shaking.

"I don't want to feel fine" tears spill from her eyes.

"They are going to help you"  Austin pulled her in a hug. 

"Will they help me die?" Cassandra asked him. Her voice is extremely cold.

"No and You need to stop thinking like that," Austin snapped.

"If you try self harm again.  They will restrain you, Cassandra" she struggled to get away from him.

"NO.... Let me go. Let me go" she pushed him as hard as she could. Her anxiety settled in. She was breathing harder.

"Why don't you understand? I am doing this for you" Austin grabbed her hand.

"Do you know how many people want to live? Struggling to live. Begging to live but they can't?" Austin snapped raw pain in his naked eyes. He did not want to lose her.

"Don't you dare throw it away" Austin glare at her. She still had tears spill from her eyes. She did not want to recall what happened? She did not want to remember anything. 

Coltrane went to Cassandra's room to inform her about the time of the appointment. He found her on the floor. When he touched her tear stricken face and cold body. He felt his heart squeeze painfully. He pulled her up in his arm before setting her on the bed,  he cover her with the duvet.

Coltrane left her there to sleep. And get ready for his office. Before he went out he asked Ben to take care of her.

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