I know this is a short chapter. But do enjoy..

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"You know that? You know that Jeremy never did anything like….???" it was Coltrane who said those words glaring at her coldly. He remembers that time quite clearly. Jeremy was in a serious state of depression his mother told him it would have been better if he died before coming to this world while throwing  him out of the house.

Catherine  froze hearing Coltrane's words. Jeremy's words ring in her head.

"I remember what you said, it would have been better if I died before coming to this world" 

Coltrane knows he will never do anything to hurt Catherine more than anyone.

When she said that she could have proved that Jeremy was the victim in this case. He felt something, something he never thought that he is capable of feeling towards her at least.

He felt anger which was directed towards her. 

"Why didn't you clear his name when you could?" Coltrane asked her.

"I wanted to protect him," Catherine whispered.

"Protect him? Who the hell are you to protect him? Do you have any freaking idea that your protection could have cost him his life?" Coltrane yelled. Cassandra's eyes widened and Catherine gasped.

"W.. What do you mean?" Catherine asked paled even more her hand shakily held on to the bed to keep her up. Remembering Jeremy's word.

"Say in the past after everything happened if I successfully died would you regret it?"

"Coltrane" Cassandra warned him.He flinched but his eyes still on Catherine filled with hurt, seeing that Cassandra made her sit down properly on her bed. But Coltrane's next words make them numb.

"He tried to kill himself" those words chilled the room. Cassandra looked down when Coltrane  looked at her for a brief moment. She knows how it feels to struggle just to give a reason to live. To think why you need to breathe every moment. Catherine closed her eyes, her face paled from the lack of blood. 

Coltrane rubbed his face. He still remembers seeing Jeremy's lifeless body which he found in his room. The moment Jane threw him out Jeremy's depression fell over them as a dread but that was not the last stroke it was something else Coltrane knew.

Jeremy was hopeful that day as if he prayed some miracle would happen. But when he returned his eyes were listless. Jeremy told him that he is going to rest. But when he went to his room to call Jeremy for dinner everything fell apart. 

Jeremy who was always strong even in the dark days where he went on hungry without telling Coltrane anything tried to take his own life. His best friend who is always their, taking care of him lost his will to fight anymore. 

Catherine felt her body grow cold hearing those words. No she wanted to scream, Jeremy will never try to kill himself. He is strong, stronger than anyone she ever met.

"You are lying" those tear filled eyes looked at him brokenly but Jeremy's word rang in her head as a reminder.

"Say in the past after everything happened if I successfully died would you regret it?"

Coltrane closed his eyes, "I'm not"

Catherine knows Coltrane is not lying. She choked as tears fell  from her eyes. She always felt guilty but now it was something else. Her eyes closed as she breathed harder. Cassandra pulled her closer hugging her. Rubbing her back. She was as shocked as her.

Jeremy was her support system too at some point in her life but for some reason her face remained calm. 

"Breath" Cassandra said, patting her back.

"I...I t...thought if I..I b..break it up w...vith Jeremy Ma...Mother will m..make A..Amelia take back her s....statement" Catherine hiccup as words stuck in her throat, her heart was breaking all over again.

"That exactly happened. Amelia takes back what she said on the basis that she was jealous of Jeremy. She was expelled from the college but it was too late. Jeremy was already in hospital because of that. When he came back from the hospital, he was different" Coltrane looked down and sighed even though he was hurt because of him and her. He was still telling the truth to the woman he loves. The truth Jeremy will never say.

"The Jeremy I knew was gone and the one left behind was an empty shell. Even when it was known that Jeremy was not at fault. Girls tried to stay clear of him and teacher's mocked him. I was the one who suggested that he should get out of here and go study abroad" Catherine held on to Cassandra as if her life depended on it. She sobbed, tears flowing continuously as the image of Jeremy lying down in the pool of his own blood horrified her. She breathed harder as she choked on her saliva, if anything were to happen to him she would have killed herself after him without thinking. Cassandra rubbed her back trying  to comfort her. This was a nightmare. Catherine felt everything seems to be crashing down on her. She stopped listening to what they were saying. Her sense is numbing as she sees dark spots. 

"How many people know about this?" Cassandra asked when he took a good look at her. Her face impassive as she was thinking of the situation objectively.

"As of now four people, me, Jeremy and both of you," Cassandra gave him a brief nod. The reason why all of a sudden Coltrane was thinking about her cleared on her. She gives a bitter smile which goes unnoticed by everyone in the room. He might have heard her suicide expenditures, she mock herself.

"Does Jane know?" She asked him as she tried to comfort her.

"No, Jane does not know that he had committed suicide. She was told that It was an accident but It put quite a strain on their relationship" Coltrane shook his head.

"I..I n..need too t..alk to J..Jeremy. please" Catherine pleased pulled herself in a sitting position. Both Coltrane and Cassandra eyes widen. Her eyes were red due to continuous crying though those tears are still falling. Her face paled and she felt sickly the thought that she is pregnant crossed both of their minds. Something is wrong with her.

"No" Cassandra firmly held her shoulder. Her head was already paining from the injury and the drama going around was making her sick. But she needs to tell her the truth.

"W...Why?" Catherine cried.

"I want to talk to him" She yelled.

"You need to stay away from him, Catherine. The thing that is going  on between you is toxic. So, listen to me and listen to me carefully. The way you are behaving is not normal" Cassandra  said those words clearly.

"I want to see Jeremy" Catherine tears poured out of her eyes.

"Do you think you can have a normal conversation with him?Are you over your fear of him?" Catherine flinched.

"I.. I am" She shutter looking away.

"Coltrane???" Catherine turned to plead with him.  He looked away once he agreed with what Cassandra said.

"If you go now it will only end in disaster. You need to first take care of yourself, Catherine. Don't forget that the baby needs you too" Cassandra put her arms around her.

"I know but... but I need to see Jeremy" she sobbed.

"I need to talk to him. Tell him  everything and.. and... I..I..I..I" Catherine hiccuped. 

"Do you think this will work?" Cassandra grit her teeth, has this woman lost her mind. Did she stop to think logically?

"Do you think Jeremy will forgive you if something happened to the baby?" Cassandra asked coldly.  Catherine frozen.

"Cassandra" Coltrane warned her. She sharply turned to him.

"Call the doctor" Cassandra ordered Coltrane even though he was angry at what she said but he did call the doctor.

"No... no....no....no...no....no..." Catherine mumbled on her shoulder but did not protest physically.

**********

They waited outside her room which she got discharged from.

"Why the heck did you say something like that?" Coltrane asked her angrily.

"Well someone needs to give her a reality check" Cassandra said rolling her eyes before looking down.

"She was shaking in my arms as if she was having a panic attack" 

Panic attacks are horrible as you try to breathe but the air seems like escaping from you. Even when you breath oxygen never reaches your lungs. Everything closes on you while you struggle to get out but the problem is you are already out physically.

"There was no reason to tell her that" He glared at her.

"So, what should I have done,waited until she had a complete emotional breakdown. Waited for her to notice that she already lost the baby too. She was not in her right mind to listen damn it. That's why I did it and I am going to do it again" Cassandra yelled a tear slip through her eyes. Her head was killing her but she kept quiet, and looked away sighing.

"Please keep quiet" the nurse warned her before walking away. He sat their tongue tied.

That tear slipped on its own accord,  as she fell herself growing cold.

"I am sorry.. I" Coltranee trailed off.

"Don't," she said coldly. He sighed, why does it feel like conversation with her always goes round about. He never reached a conclusion rather going round and round on the same path.

"Why all of a sudden you started caring about me?" Cassandra asked the question she wanted to from the very beginning. The skeptical feeling returned.

"Is it because of Jeremy as he tried to kill himself? Isn't it?" She asked again this time coldly. Coltrane flinched a bit.

'No' he was never thinking about Jeremy in this context.  It's true that when he heard she tried to kill herself. He felt something but was it related to Jeremy? He never thought that. Unconsciously he might have felt that way but he does not want to go down on that path.

His silence answered her question. Cassandra shakes her head, the only thing he will ever feel for her is pity. What was she thinking?

Asking the question which will hurt her even more? Can't she keep her mouth shut and believe that he cares? How pathetic can she be?

When Coltrane opened his mouth to answer it was already too late and his answer only confirmed her thought, "I don't know " he shook his head, he can not lie..

The doctor came out, "She will come around is an hour or two  but"

Dr.Brown looked at them sadly," Mrs.McGills was having a panic attack, If I was about late she would have lost the baby. I used sedative to calm her down and not only that her blood pressure dropped. Her pregnancy is complicated in the given situation"

"She is fine now because of your quick thinking but she will not be lucky all the time. I can't guarantee whether this pregnancy is safe or not. She needs to be careful and safe. I need to talk to Mr.McGill '' Dr.Brown said those words before walking away. They sit there silently. She rubbed her head. 

"I am sorry," Coltrane said. She kept quite at his words.

"Are you alright?" Coltrane asked when she did not replied.She stopped touching her head. 

"Yes I am fine" Cassandra said those words stiffly. Well as fine as she could be in the given situation.

"Are you hungry?" 

"No" she shakes her head.

Then again that awkward silence. He stopped trying to have a one sided conversation with her. They waited there until eventually he got up and made his way to the cafe and brought her something to eat. She refused at first but reluctantly did as she was told and took the prescribed painkiller.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Cassandra shakes her head.

"I need to wait for her to wake up. Can you try to find out where Jeremy is?" She looked at him. His face darkened but he nodded his head.

Coltrane pulled out his phone and called James.

Cassandra sighed and her head fell heavy as she closed her eyes and  rested her head. She did not notice how she fell asleep.

Coltrane returned after a while only to notice she was sleeping in an awkward position.

He called Jeremy's secretary to know that he is in the office but he is refusing any visitors. 

He entered to look at Catherine. Her pale blood drain face made his heart ache. He sighed sitting down on the chair next to Catherine. 

"Why do you have to fall in love with Jeremy? And why does he love you back?" Coltrane asked her bitterly. Gulping down his hurt, he got out of there. He silently sat beside Cassandra, adjusting her head on his shoulder which was falling off of the chair and set in an awkward position. He let her rest. 

After a while Coltrane put his head against her sighing. It hurt him to see the woman he loves suffering like that and if he could help her in any way he would. Even if it's meant to hurt himself in the process. He remembers how she begged him to forgive Jeremy. 

"What should I do?" Coltrane asked Cassandra silently knowing she won't answer. But did not she already answered his question. 

He should have asked her why she did what she did rather than getting angry at her. If only she was the woman he loved will their life be this complicated. He unintentionally hurt her again. And this time he noticed her hurt when that tear fell down from her eyes. 

Coltrane closed his eyes before falling asleep he hear a whisper, "you know what you should"

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