~Chapter thirty eight~
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He who is untrue to his own cause cannot command the respect of others.
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~Lucy's POV
My eyes widened as I felt his soft lips against mine. Weren't we just in a disagreement? Not that I would like that back. I didn't move a single muscle. My heart is pounding in my chest so loudly that I didn't feel Natsu move. I have always loved his presence, but damn what did I feel selfish for wanting his lips against mine again.
"Please, Luce," he begged against my lips. He had wanted it again. The pleading tone laced in his words... He caressed my cheek in his firm hands as he placed his forehead against mine. "May I?" he whispered. He was asking me. Asking if I want to kiss him.
Hell yes.
We looked in each other eyes, both breathless just by that one kiss. That one kiss that wasn't even much. For strangers it was just someone's lips placed on another.
For me...
I don't know what I felt in that moment, but I for sure loved it.
"Y-yeah," I stammered. My voice was so low that even I almost couldn't hear it. He had that doubt in his eyes. He was ready to withdraw anytime when I say no. And believe me, that means a lot.
I clenched my hands tightly, my nails pushing the skin of my palm. "Yes," I said more clearly, more certain. The first kiss was sweet but didn't involve any intimidacy. The second... was everything.
We leaned in and our lips caught each other once again. This time I moved in sync with him, but he went hard and fast. He devoured me, not only my lips but also my soul. And I let him. He gripped my neck to bring my closer to him, closer than I already was. My hand made its way to his hair. So spiky... so soft.
I gripped his hair tightly as I took some control in the kiss this time. He groaned, loving it. It made me smile through the kiss.
He pushed me against the wall and broke the kiss, unfortunately. He slammed his hand next to my head, trapping me for one part. "Holy shit," he said as he stared at me. He was shocked, not knowing I would go along with it. His eyes zoomed in on my lips, and then my eyes.
His mouth parted as he looked hurt. He brought a finger to my cheek, wiping a tear away.
I was crying?
"Luce," he said, hurt and guilt in his voice. He wrapped his arms around me tightly.
"I didn't force you, did I?" he asked, scared for my answer. I was still speechless, touching my lip. He kissed me, he really kissed me! And I kissed him back!
He broke the hug and walked backwards, retreating to the other wall opposite of the one I was against.
"Fuck! I'm such a dick," he cursed, wrapping his hands in his hair. He slammed his fist against the wall, breaking it in pieces. He looked at me, a sincery apologize in his face. "I didn't mean to... Goddamnit, even if you said yes, it wasn't appropriate of me. You were crying and I basically took you in a weak moment. And I feel more of an asshole that I liked it! I didn't even know if you liked it."
Move, Lucy!
I felt my legs regaining energy as I walked to him. He had his back faced to me, his breathing ragged and angry.
I embraced his from behind, feeling him tense. "You didn't force me, Natsu," I assured. "I... I liked it."
"I didn't?"
"You wouldn't," I said. I smiled. He wouldn't force me into doing anything I don't want to. Playful times is different.
I could hear the relieved sigh of his. "That's... great. Let's go home." My heart deflated with the change of the subject, but then he grabbed my hands and kissed the back. The fire in his eyes was back again, and I knew, that this wasn't over yet.
Without a word we walked back his house. The awkward tension visible, but it gave me time to think. I still couldn't wrap around the fact away that I kissed my best friend. If this thing going between us is turning out bad, then I would lose him. Are the risks worth it?
Our arms weren't touching, but they were so close that they could. I felt a hand slipping around mine. Goosebumps appeared. My heart is doing a whole work-out today. I could go in the biggest rollercoaster in the world and still feel less thrilled.
I looked at our intertwined hands, grinning. I felt like a child getting a present. His face was flushed as he looked away, not risking the chance of me catching his gaze. Does he like me? Why did he kiss me? Was it the heat of the moment...?
Once home we saw our team in the room. I cleaned Natsu's house yesterday. Damn it was dirty. But it was immediately precious to me. Especially his wall. Our first request together alone was pinched on the wall. Then some photos of them and some with me and Natsu in it.
"Hey, what's with the flushed face?" Wendy asked once we were inside. I dropped my hand, stepping away from Natsu.
Gray looked at Natsu and then at me, his gaze lingering on my hand that was just intertwined with Natsu. A look of realization passed his face as he met my eyes.
"The dark guilds know we're coming for them, warn everyone," Natsu said.
Everyone's eyebrow raised in disbelief. "What?"
"Just do it," he said. Natsu breathed loudly. "Everyone out now," he demanded. A sound of disagreement went in the air as Erza stood up confused. "Why?"
"Lucy and I have to talk," he said. The way his confidence voice came out was enough of a clarifisation for Gray. He stood up from the couch and headed towards Natsu.
He gestured for the other to follow him. "Just for one hour," Natsu spoke again. Gray patted Natsu's shoulder. Their normal rivalry replaced with brotherly love or something like that.
"Good luck, man," he whispered.
After everyone was out he turned to me. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something but the closed it again. He was speechless, too! My breath caught in my throat, seeing how he looked at me. A burning passion in his eyes. Why do I feel so nervous now?
We unconsciously walked to the couch. We laid down as we both tangled our feets together and looked to the ceiling.
"I like you," he blurted out. My face remained still, giving nothing away. I want to smile and laugh, I do that when I feel confused, having no words to speak. I can't believe Natsu likes me. That thought is too good to be true. But I heard it. Loud and clear. He was sincery about his confession.
"I..." What could I say? Do I like him back? Do I?
You do, my mind agreed, practically smirking at me.
"It's fine if you don't," he rushed. I could tell by his tone it'd be anything but fine. "But I just wanted you to know that I like you... I like the way you make me feel."
He playfully kicked my leg. I did it back.
My first meeting with Natsu flashed through my mind. The way he was so arrogant. Then the second, where he melted the ice I was trapped in. The hug to make me warm up. Everything he did to or with me. When he protected me from the assualt on my house. Even now thinking about it warms my heart.
"Just know," he continued. "that I'm here for you, even if what I did bascially weakened our relationship." It came out as if he wasn't nervous, no voice vibration or cracks. But the rhythm of his breathing concluded different.
"I think..." I swallowed. "I... I have feelings for you, too." There is no denying in that he made me smile. Natsu hummed, seeming to agree with me. Did he even listen to what I said?
He shot up from his lying position after a second. I was still lying though, but I could see his face.
"What did you say?" he burst out, clenching his hands. My breathing became ragged and I avoided his eyes. The first time saying it felt different. Knowing he half listened made my heart tighten with anticipation. Now... it's just worst. I could feel his eyes on me, following my every tiny movement I made.
"What you think I said," I whispered, my mouth dry.
He pounded on my and hugged my tightly, stuffing his face in my neck. I could feel his chest risen and falling in a fast tempo. "I-I..." he trailed off. My face tinted red, thinking he would say something sweet.
His face came from my neck and he looked up to me, his daring eyes and smirk told me something different though.
"Knew you couldn't resist me." The relief in his voice is noticable.
I drawled my eyebrow together. "Who says I can't?"
He snorted. The audacity.
"I know you can't. Just like I'm the best at making you speechless." I closed my eyes, his stare becoming too much to handle.
"Don't try to deny me, Luce. I always win," he whispered before he began tickling me. I bursted out laughing as I moved back and forth, trying to get his fingers off me. This was better. This was what I loved. Sure I liked that tiny little heart confession, but that was awkard as hell. This eased the tension.
What he said brought me back to last Sunday, where Sunday Natsu was training me. He won... but so did I. He won by defeating me. He did, but his next move was a coward's move. He dismissed me, saying it's over, but he was the one who left first.
I won by being the last one on the field. It's silly, I know, but I still won. I felt so embarrassed and angry then, now I know why. I wanted it to happen then. And Natsu must have felt that spark too.
My breathing caught in my throat as Natsu's fingers suddenly began moving faster. My lungs couldn't function straight right now and I had a lot of trouble getting air. My throat is sore from laughing so much.
He looked at me with a smile, loving to see me struggling. But the defiant look in my eyes must have made him serious.
I brought my knee up, wanting to knee him in his crotch for tickling me. He saw through it though, stopping my movement with one hand. He got in my face. "I wouldn't go that far, you know? We wouldn't be able to make babies then."
I gritted my teeth, hating being vulnerable. If he thinks that he could make those jokes after confessing, he's wrong. My face went red with embarrassment but I was angry at him. Not really angry angry but playful angry.
I freed my hand and slapped his face, making him roll off the couch and he landed on the ground. He looked at me with wide eyes, touching his cheek. "You... you just slapped me!" he exclaimed, whining.
"You deserved it," I sneered. I stood up and walked over to the free space.
He laughed loudly at my face. "True," he responded with a grin.
His grin fell and he narrowed his eyes, coming to stand in front of my face. He showed me his teeth. Not in a good way. "Kiss me."
I sucked in a breath, looking at him in the eyes. They were totally black now. "W-what?"
"You slapped me, now I get a kiss." I rolled my eyes at his logic. Of course Natsu would say that. But I smiled, he made me feel so lucky.
"Now kiss me," he commanded. "Or are you scared?" he taunted.
"I almost died of your tickling so I get a kiss first." God, I played right into his hands. He smirked and grabbed my face.
He leaned forward and gave me a kiss, not too long or too short, but just right. I felt him smile against my lips. I grinned as he hugged me after it, tightly as if I'm going to leave.
"What are we now?" I asked softly.
"Well... they only thing I know is that you're mine." I could basically hear the grin in his face. He buried his face in my neck again, inhaling my scent. "If you wanna be girlfriend and boyfriend, I'll be your boyfriend. Wanna be just Natsu and Lucy, I'd be Lucy."
I laughed loudly. "Alright blondie. Nice to meet you, I'm Natsu."
He snorted.
We hugged for a while, totally comfortable in the silence surrounding us. I smiled. I never thought that we could be together. I always thought of him as my best friend until a couple days ago. So much has happened that apparently made my feelings bloom.
"We're back!" And the door swung open, revealing the rest of our team. Natsu and I quickly parted, not looking in each other eyes. I looked at the clock. Has that one hour passed that quickly?
"So, done with the talk?" Erza asked. My face drained of colour when I saw Mira coming into the house too. What is she doing here?!
She ran to me and hugged me like crazy. I glanced at Natsu, seeing him scowl. Is he jealous already? I wanted to laugh.
"Alright, that's enough," Natsu said, standing next to Gray.
I broke the hug and grabbed Mira's arms. "What's going on with you?"
She jumped up and down, squealing loudly. "Congratulations on finally confessing your dying hard feelings for Natsu." She turned to Natsu, "You too."
"How the fuck does she know?" Natsu grunted, looking at Mira with an alert look on his face. The 'stalker-alert' look.
"I'm just upset I didn't catch the first kiss." Mira winked at Gray before turning back to me.
Natsu slowly turned his head to Gray, a glare on his face. "You didn't..." he growled.
Gray shrugged with a smirk on his face. I didn't need two brains to figure it out. He told on us.
"Anyways, Lucy, you really have to choose the worst timing to confess?" Mira scolded me.
I gaped, gesturing in big circles towards Natsu. "W-what?! Natsu began with kissing me and confessing!" Why did Mira think it was me?
"Still, the worst timing. Tomorrow is the games and Natsu doesn't need distractions."
I snorted, glancing between Gray and Natsu already bickering about something stupid. Erza smacked their heads together.
I looked at Mira again, raising my eyebrow. "He got enough distractions. One more wouldn't hurt." Mira looked at the bumps on their heads, shaking her head. "I guess you're right."
"We're going to teach those bastard a lesson," Mira said, smiling sweetly. How could she say it with such an angelic face but with a devil's tone?
"For sure," Natsu agreed.
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