Despair and sickness
(Y/n) p.o.v
I sighed as I saw the red substance flowing down my wrists into the water below me.Tears ran down my face as the cuts started stinging.But this pain was nothing compared to the pain of my heartache.I bet he would be laughing at me right now.At my weakness.He would use it to his advantage.He would taunt me for the rest of my life.I'm so stupid for doing this.I promised myself that this would never happen.But I succumbed to my sadness and fears.I cried even more from the events that happened earlier.
*1 hour earlier*
I walked to the guild,smiling happily that I made a friend.
'He'll just slip away you know.'The voice said.But it wasn't sarcastic or mean.It sounded...sad almost.I don't believe it.The voice always sounds mean and rude.Why would it sound sad?Once I got to the guild,I walked inside and to the bar,where Mira was at.She was talking to Lisanna while cleaning the glasses.
"Hi Mira!Hi Lisanna!"I said and Mirajane smiled at me while Lisanna said nothing,as if I wasn't there.I frowned at little but sat at the bar.Maybe I did something to make her angry.That must be it.
"Well Mira,I'm going to go with Natsu."She said before getting up and walking away.I could have sworn I saw her give me this look of hatred.I'm probably a bit rude to her.Or I'm just overthinking it.Well as long as everyone else is happy for her return,I guess I can handle her being mad at me.

"(Y/n)."I heard Mirajane say.I looked at her and smiled.
"Yeah."I answered and a look of seriousness came across her face.
"About yesterday..."She started and I looked at her in confusion.
"What about it?"I asked and she sighed.
"Well...can we talk in private?"She asked and I hesitantly nodded.We both went to the library,and Mira shut the door."(Y/n)...do you trust us?"She asked,and the question made me freeze.Do I trust them?I haven't trusted anyone for a while now.I don't know what to say.
"I guess..."I said,giving her a small smile.
"(Y/n),we believe...we-we want to," she took a deep breath. "Is someone hurting you?"She hastily asked me.
I was shocked.They can't know about this.They'll just run away from me.I'll be alone forever.I don't want to be alone.
"Wh-What makes you think that?No one is hurting me!"I exclaimed, about to walk out but Mira grabbed my arm.
"(Y/n) please."She pleaded,which made me sigh."Please...I beg you.Just hear what I have to say,then you can do whatever you want."She said in desperation.I looked at her for a couple seconds,before walking away from the door,and sitting on a chair."(Y/n),you come in here with bruises all over you everyday,and you never tell us what happened.If someone is hurting you than all you have to do is tell us..."She said,and I clenched my hands on my lap.
Why are they doing this?This is none of their business.They'll only judge me if I tell them.
'They are doing this for their enjoyment.'The voice says angrily.She has no right to do this.Why can't they just trust me?
"Can you stop pretending now?"I whispered.
"What?"She answered in confusion.
"You guys can stop pretending now...None of you care.No one ever did."I whispered,while looking down at my lap,tears coming down my face in the process.
"We do care."She replied worriedly.
"No you don't."I said looking up at her."I deserve what I'm getting,Mira!It's always been like this and it always will be like this and it will never change!"I said quickly,getting up out of my chair."It doesn't matter anyways...because you'll all end up leaving me like the rest.So you can just forget it."I said while wiping my tears and walking out of the library.I sighed,quickly composing myself and put a smile on my face.I walked to the bathroom,splashing water on my face to get rid of the tear stains.Once I was finished,I dried my face and walked out the bathroom.Maybe I'll asked the others to go on a mission with me to cheer me up.Yeah,that is exactly what I will do.
I walked to the main hall and to the request board.I looked around before grabbing a job and walking over to the closest one on my team,which was Erza,and she was eating cake.I was kind of nervous,because I haven't talked to her in a while.I kind of put distance between myself and everyone else,so they probably forgot about my existence.Once I approached her,she looked at me in question."H-Hi Erza.Umm...would you like to go on a mission with me?I-I mean you don't have to if you don't want to,it's just we haven't talked to each other in a while,and this might be a chance for us to catch up."I ranted while looking at her hopefully.
"Maybe
some other time,(y/n).I'm busy later."She said before returning to eat her cake.
"Um...ok,I'll go and ask someone else."I said disappointedly before walking away and looking for Gray.He was probably running from Juvia.So that means he's out of the question.
After a couple minutes,I moved on to Natsu.He was smiling way more now.I mean I would too if my best friend returned from the dead.He had Happy with him eating fish,as usual.I tapped him on the shoulder hesitantly and he turned around.His face became one of annoyance and disappointment.
"Oh...hey (y/n).What do you want?"He said turning back around.
"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go on a mission with me because–"He only cut me off with a scoff.
"No (y/n).I don't want to go on a mission with right now.I really don't need you right now."He said bluntly,causing me to flinch.Happy looked at Natsu in disbelief,but Natsu didn't even answer to him.
What he said broke my heart.He doesn't need me anymore.That means I'm useless.If I'm useless to him who's to say I'm not useless to anyone else.I don't want to be useless.I walked out the guild before anyone can see me cry again and down the pathway to my house.He didn't even try to apologize to me.Why am I always so stupid?I shouldn't be talking to him anyways,and it was foolish for me to think I could without getting hurt.When I got to my house,I walked to the bathroom,shutting the door.I filled the sink with water,in case someone came in and could hear my crying.I looked through the cabinets,grabbing the knife I put in here in case the door got jammed.
I rolled up my sleeves,and put the blade to my wrist,pressing down and sliding it across my skin.I did it again and again and again until both my wrists and forearms were covered in cuts and blood was running down my arms.I felt the tears run down my face as I thought about what happened.Who would want someone like me to love?I'm not worth anything to anyone.Maybe I should just go back home and just let my father do what he wants with me.It would be better than to go through with this pain.
I started feeling light headed,so I turned the water off,and turned around to grab a towel,but everything was just too blurry.I felt my feet give in from under me,and everything went black.
Happy's p.o.v
After (y/n) left,I looked at Natsu in disbelief before getting down from the table and walking away,slapping him on the head before doing so.He had been acting different ever since Lisanna came back.It was like something changed him.I walked out of the guild,walking to her house,which took me forever,and opened the door.It was unlike her to leave the door open.I heard a thump come from the bathroom,so I walked to the bathroom and opened the door.(Y/n) was on the floor,and she had cuts and blood all over her arms."(Y/N)!"I yelled running over to her and started shaking her to wake up,but she wouldn't."Don't worry,I'll be right back."I said,before turbo speeding to the guild,grabbing Carla and Pantherlily,and flying back to (y/n)'s house.
When they saw (y/n),they quickly grabbed towels and put them on her arms."Happy,tells us how this happened.Now!"Carla demanded as the blood started seeping through the towels."I-I don't know.I came in and...and found her like this."I said tears streaming down my face."Let's just hope she pulls through this."Pantherlily said sighing.
*3 hours later*
(Y/n)'s p.o.v
Darkness.That was all I could see as I stood in the room I was in.Then I saw a small white dot up ahead.Unconsciously,I felt my feet move towards it and reached my hand out to it.But it seems like the more I walked,the farther I was from it.Then I heard it.
"(Y/n)."I heard.It sounded like my mom,but she was dead.
"Mom?"I said and I saw the light get closer and closer."Mom!MOM WHERE ARE YOU!?"I yelled before I heard another voice.
"Please...wake up."I heard the voice say.It sounded sad and desperate.I felt something on my face.I felt my face and felt a wet stain on it.A tear.The light started fading away as I tried to reach out to it but it felt like something was holding me back.A couple seconds later,the light disappeared completely,leaving me completely in darkness.
~
Upon opening my eyes,I find out that I am in my room.I felt something on my chest and looked down to see Happy sleeping on my chest,Carla sleeping close on one side of my neck and Lily on the other.I heard the sound of a muffled sob and looked next to me.There was Leo,sitting in a chair,with his face in his hands.He was crying and his body shook with each sob."B-Big brother Leo..."I called to him,my voice barely audible.My throat was dry and raspy and my arms stung every time I tried to moved them.His head snapped up and he let out a sigh of relief.
"My god,(y/n).You had us worried sick!"Leo exclaimed angrily.His eyes were red and bloodshot.He had tear streaks on his face and he really looked horrible.But why is he here?He can't be sad about me,right?
I lightly picked up the exceeds and sat them next to me,so I could move around more.I sat up and looked down at my wrist.I shouldn't be here.I should be dead."(Y/n),why in the world would you do this to yourself?"Leo asked,sitting next to me and pulling me close.
"Because...I'd be better off dead."I answered,my expression emotionless.
"No!Don't you dare say that again!Do you hear me!"He said angrily,his grip on me tightening,but I could barely feel it.
"If I'm dead,I won't have to worry about anything anymore."I said,as I started scratching my wrist,even though the bandages were covering them.
"(Y/n) (M/n) (L/n)!Have you actually stopped and thought about the people that are trying to help you?Some people actually care about you,and we always will.So don't you ever forget it ok?"He said,grabbing my hand,stopping me from scratching holes in my skin.
"I understand,Leo.I will think about your feelings."I said,after a couple of minutes,wrapping my arms around him.
"Just please...don't you every do this again."He pleaded and I nodded."I promise."I whispered as he started crying.
"I won't leave.I'll try just for you guys."I said,and closed my eyes,letting out a deep sigh.I'll have to pull it together.For my remaining family.
About an hour later,I opened my eyes to find Leo gone and noise coming from the living room downstairs.I looked next to me to see Happy and Pantherlily asleep,while Carla was awake,staring at the wall with a sad look on her face."Carla..."I called her and she turned her head to me quickly.
"(Y/n)...you're ok..."She breathed coming over to me and sitting on my lap.
"Yeah...I'm alright."I said and she nodded before slapping me on the back of my head.
"What in the world did you think you were doing?!"She said angrily as I looked down in shame.
"I guess I kind of deserve that."I said sheepishly.I heard her sigh and felt her hug me.
"(Y/n),why?"She asked and a tear slipped down my face.
"No one needs me anymore."I whispered and she wiped my tear away.
"Someone will always need you (y/n).You're important to us.Do you understand?"Carla said and I nodded in response."Now go downstairs and get something to eat.I'm going to make sure these two don't do something stupid when they wake up."Carla ordered and went next to the boy exceeds.I nodded and walked downstairs to the living room,where Leo was talking to Aquarius.She had her legs instead of a tail,so that means she will be able to catch me when I run from her wrath.Now that I think about it...yeah they should start planning me a funeral because she is going to kill me.
When they noticed I was in the room Aquarius got up with an angry look on her face."I know..."I started but was cut off by her running up to me and hugging me.It kind of shocked me since Aquarius doesn't really show feelings.I hugged her back and felt her tears on my shoulder.Is she...crying?That's impossible!Aquarius hates me.
"Don't you ever do that again!You hear me!"She exclaimed,clinging to me like I was someone important to her.Am I someone important?It would make me sad if I'm not.
"Ok Aquarius."I said and she pulled away from me and hit me on the back of the head over and over again.
"Why in the world would you do that?!"She yelled and stopped hitting me and hugged me again."Did you ever think about us for a minute?How do you think we would have felt if you were gone,you idiot?"She said squeezing me tightly.
"I'm sorry Aquarius."I said rubbing the back of my head.She hits hard!
"Now go get you something to eat while I talk to Leo."She commanded and I walked to the kitchen while rubbing the back of my head.
I looked in the fridge and saw pizza from a few days ago.I grabbed a plate and the pizza and put it in the microwave.When it was finished warming up,I took the food out and put it on the counter to cool down.I grabbed a drink from the fridge and open it.I closed the fridge and sat myself on the counter.I took a bite out of my food but I couldn't swallow it.It was like something was preventing me from eating it.When I finally swallowed my food,I felt something come back up my throat and ran to the bathroom,and threw up in the toilet.Once I was finished,I looked and saw loads of blood in the toilet.I flushed the toilet and slumped down on the wall.I feel like I've been hit by a train.
"(Y/n)."I heard a voice say and turned to the door to see Leo looking at me with a worried face.
"I don't feel too good big brother."I said before closing my eyes tightly.
"(Y/n)!"I heard him say.I felt as if I was being lifted up and put on something soft.
"What happened to her?"I heard Aquarius say.It felt like my throat was burning and my stomach was turning into knots.I need my medicine.I can't breath.It hurts.
"M-M..."I tried to get the words out but I just couldn't.When I tried to talk,my throat became dry and felt like it was closing up.
"(Y/n)!What's happening?"I heard Leo's voice say.
"It's not like she can answer you idiot!"Aquarius yelled at him.
"Well yelling at me isn't going to help her!"Leo yelled back at her.
"Me...Medicine."I whispered,feeling my body go cold a little bit.Why now?Why does this happen to me?
After a couple minutes,I felt something being shoved down my throat and my body return back to normal.I tried to move but I couldn't.It was like a barrier was blocking me from moving my body."Why isn't she moving!"I heard Aquarius yell in panic.
"(Y/n) please be alright!"I heard Leo say exasperatedly.I wanted to call out to them and tell them I'm alright,but I couldn't.'Someone please help me!'Was my last thought before my senses were blocked.