Chapter Five

The deep forest. Damp earth. Soft moss. Old growth trees. Home. The scent of home filled his nostrils. His very soul filled with yearning. Only one thing had ever made him feel this intoxicating mixture of need and contentment since he'd awaken months ago with only blackness in his memories.

Her.

She was close. So very close. Her scent was wrapping around him, filling his senses. Searching his memory for what had brought him here, he tensed. The last thing he remembered was keeping his distance as he watched her walked along the path and then scenting the bears. He had seen those cubs and then their mother in that path. He had seen the bear threatening her, sensed the danger she was in, and had found himself unable to fight back the beast that lived inside him. The monster had ripped forth and his world had quickly gone black.

The woman? Was she okay? Had the bear gotten her? Or the monster... Terror filled him, replacing the peace he'd felt at awakening to her scent. Had the monster harmed her? He had tried his best to leave, to put distance between himself and the woman who smelled like home, but he had been unable to--he had kept finding himself pulled back. If in doing so he had allowed the monster to harm her....

As he attempted to gain his bearings and come awake, he noticed that something was wrong. His body did not feel right--it didn't feel like his. Taking another breath, he realized he smelled blood but it wasn't hers. It was his and the bears.

"If I tend to that wound, are you going to attempt to eat me?"

That voice had him forgetting everything but her. He wanted to see her, was desperate to lay eyes on her softness and be certain she was unharmed--and then suddenly his vision became clear, and he could see her.

He filled his eyes with the sight of her. That dark hair, slipping loose a bit from the updo she'd styled it in. Those brown eyes watching him with a mixture of concern and uncertainty, a line forming between her brows as she chewed her full bottom lip. "I don't want to be bitten."

Bitten?

The monster growled lightly. He growled lightly. He shook his head. The monster shook his head. He glanced down and realized he was covered in thick black fur. His tongue over his teeth revealed fangs made for tearing flesh. Realization dawned on him and had him falling down hard on the wooden floor beneath him as his legs gave out.

He was the monster. The monster was him. For months it had seemed the monster was something separate. Something that simply took control. But now, for the first time, he was seeing through the eyes of the monster and realizing that they were his eyes. Every time before he'd been lost in a blackout while the monster ruled him.

"Are you okay? Oh elm trees. Are you hurt worse than I thought you were?"

He looked up and saw that all her uncertainty had been replaced by worry. Her hand was shaking a bit as she reached out and laid it upon his hand--paw. His entire body trembled at the contact. "Are you okay?" she asked. Then she snorted. "As if you could actually answer me. I think I may be losing my mind. Then again, after the afternoon I've just had, it would stand to reason you can understand me. Stranger things have certainly happened today."

He opened his mouth to speak but a series of whines and whimpers is all that came out. Right. He was the beast. Pain lanced through his head as something came back to him. Something from that darkness that seemed to be all he could remember until two months ago.

A cage. Stone. Needles. Him. The monster. His bones changing and shifting.

This monster that he thought was a separate thing from himself was not truly separate. He could change into the beast at will, he remembered now. The wolf made his base instincts harder to control and caused him to feel things more intensely but it could be controlled. He could control what he did as the wolf if he worked hard enough at it--Memories swirled just too far out of reach to grasp but close enough to let him know that at one point he'd been one with the beast. Just as comfortable covered in fur as in human skin.

"I'm going to pour some of this astringent on your leg. It will burn but we have to try to keep this from getting infected. I'm certain a bear's claws and teeth are filthy."

He should tell her to not waste her time. His wounds would heal quickly on their own. At times over the last months he'd been left with scars from his blackouts as the monster, none of those wounds had ever festered or become infected. But to tell her that he would have to become human. Memories of shifting forms told him it was a painful ugly process. A process that would no doubt terrify her. And terrifying her was something he would rather die than do.

He felt the monster's emotions. The monster craved to protect her, guard her, keep her safe and cared for. The monster had already decided this woman was his, she was home, and he was going to make sure no harm ever came to her.

He had been so concerned for days that the beast would harm this woman but he knew now that was not going to happen. The monster was not dangerous--at least not to her. Not to the woman who smelled like home and peace.

Sharp pain filled his senses and he whimpered as he tried to pull his leg away from her grip as that foul smelling astringent hit his wounds. She made cooing sounds and put the bottle down, using her free hand to stroke his cheek. "It's okay. I'm sorry. I know it hurts."

Hurt? What hurt? All he felt was euphoria at the feel of her hand on his face and he leaned into her shamelessly. She frowned even as she stroked him several times before removing her hand. He stayed still for her as she wrapped a white bandage around his wounded leg.

"I wish I knew where you came from. Or why you seem to understand what I'm saying. Or why you protected me from a bear. Ugh!" She shoved herself to her feet and threw her hands in the air. "I suppose I'll never have any of those answers. I don't like that, you know. I am a woman who needs answers."

She was angry as she began to clean up the medical supplies she'd used on his injury. He didn't like her anger. He wanted her happy, safe, and contented. To know that she was angry with him made his very soul ache. She was his peace and he only ever wanted to be that for her--especially now that he knew the monster was no danger to her.

And so, desperate to give her the answers that she seemed to so desperately wanted, he got back to his feet. Digging into his limited memories, he tried to recall how to make the change. He called on the monster to go back to sleep within his blood and felt pain overtake him as his bones began to break. 

A/N: Probably shorter chapters with this story but that will mean they'll come more quickly! Hope you enjoyed! Poor Constance is about to be thrown for one heck of a loop!