~ Jordan's POV ~

Matteo dropped to the floor just as Adrian's mom let out an ear piercing scream. I watched in shock as Adrian dropped to his knees infront of his brother, his face was pale as he stared at his brother who's eyes were fluttering open and closed.

"S-someone call an ambulance.." Mia's sentence fell on deaf ears, no one moved, all eyes on Adrian and Matteo. I stepped towards Adrian but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned around to see Dominico with tears in his eyes, he shook his head at me, keeping his hand on my shoulder to stop me from moving any closer.

"Matteo... svegliati." (Wake up.) Adrian's voice was strained as he moved Matteo so that he was laying flat on his back, blood started seeping through his white dress shirt causing Mia to whimper next to me. "Matteo." Adrian shook his brother desperately trying to wake him up.

"I need to help him." I turned to Dominico but he just tightened his grip on my shoulder to stop
me from going over to Adrian; responding to me in a cold tone. "No." I felt tears well up in my eyes as I watched Adrian try to wake Matteo up. It was all my fault. Adrian accidentally shot his brother because of me, I should have kept my mouth shut.

It's my fault.

"Mia call an ambulance." Dominico spoke with calmness although his face showed just how panicked and worried he actually was. I turned my attention back to Matteo as blood began to pool around him. It wasn't a lot but it was enough to cause his mother to let out a sob.

"Adrian.." Matteo's voice was groggy and weak as he lifted his head up, finally gaining consciousness. "Matteo, just hang on. Mia is on the phone to the ambulance, it's okay." Adrian was trying to hold himself together as he sat next to his baby brother, blood had stained his hands and his white shirt but he didn't seem bothered in the slightest.

"Tell Jordan she needs to forgive me now, I did what you said. I protected her with my life." I felt my lip quiver as both their attention turned to me, Adrian turned around to look at me and extended his hand to me. I rushed over to him pulling myself out of Dominico's grip, wiping away the tears which had fallen from my eyes, I kneeled down next to Adrian and Matteo.

"Of course I forgive you." He gave me a small smile and turned to Adrian. "Are you freaking stupid? Your short temper would have killed us all." Adrian tried to glare at Matteo but instead his red eyes filled with unshed tears. "Are you stupid Matteo? You've almost killed yourself.." I placed a hand on Adrian's shoulder to comfort him just as Paola came over to us, her face was wet with tears and her eyes were blood shot.

"My baby.." She kneeled down next to Matteo on the other side of Adrian and I. "I'm fine. My arm hurts like a bitch but I'm fine." I frowned at him and reached over, I peeled his jacket away slightly to see the blood coming from his left arm.

"Adrian shot your arm."

As soon as I said this everyone sighed in relief, except Adrian who was furious. "You could have freaking told me it was your arm sei un bastardo." (You bastard.) Matteo let out a weak chuckle and looked at Adrian. "You shot me, I thought you knew."

I shook my head and wiped away my tears from my face just as the paramedics made their way into the hall. I looked around properly for the first time to see that almost everyone had left the party, probably not wanting to be involved in a possible murder. Dante and his men were no where to be seen, but I'm sure Adrian will be hearing from him soon.

"I'm gonna kill you for real Matteo." Adrian stood up and moved away to make space for the paramedics and I stood up too. He shakily ran a hand over his face and let out a deep breath. "Dad take Carlotta and Mia home, we'll be home a little later. Sorry about your party." Dominico smiled at Adrian and nodded. "Don't worry son, it's nothing like a De Mancuso party without an argument and then an ambulance." His comment caused a few chuckles to emanate from the small crowd of people left.

"What about me?" Both Adrian and I turned to Antonia who was frowning. "You can go to hell for all I care." Adrian turned away from her back towards his brother who was being treated by the paramedics. "Carlotta I'm coming with you." I rolled my eyes at Antonia's whining voice.

"I don't think that's a good idea. It's still my dad's birthday and I'd rather spend the rest of the evening with my family." Carlotta's eyes met mine for a second before she turned back to Antonia who was furious.

Dominico, Carlotta and Mia left the hall, Antonia soon left on her own. I turned towards my husband who seemed a lot more relieved now that Matteo was sitting up with the paramedics. "Adrian." He turned towards me and instead of being angry like I expected, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders bringing me into his chest.

"My beautiful wife...sometimes you need to learn to keep your mouth shut." I didn't know if Adrian was being sarcastic or not but either way he held me against his chest as a few tears leaked out of my eyes. I was responsible for everything that just happened; for ruining Dominico's party, Matteo getting hurt and everyone being so worried that he might be seriously hurt.

Adrian held me against him, his grip a little tighter than it would be if he was genuinely just trying to comfort me as he watched Matteo got stretchered out of the hall with Paola by his side. "We'll meet you there mom, we'll get changed and pick up some fresh clothes for Matteo too." I felt Adrian's chest rumble a little as he spoke to his mom. Eventually it was just Adrian and I left in the massive hall all alone.

"I'm sorry Adrian." I moved away from him to look at him properly. "All of this is my fault." Adrian's jaw clenched while I spoke. "I didn't mean for all this to happen, I just got angry.." He was silent for a moment before he finally responded.

"You should know by now that nothing is safe Jordan. You can't be so wreckless, control your damn temper. I have to, so you have to aswell." Adrian's temper began to rise while he lectured me about what happened.

"I know he's a freaking creep but he's also a very important and dangerous man. Most likely I've lost him as an ally now, because you couldn't keep your damn mouth shut; never mind the fact that my brother could have died, or the rest of my family!" I flinched at the volume of his voice as Adrian continued to shout at me, getting himself more and more worked up.

"Adrian just calm down.." As soon as the words left my mouth he just lost whatever composure he had left, it's weird because when his mom was still here he was fine but as soon as it was just us, his anger just increased more and more.

"You want me to calm down?! My whole family could have been shot today because of you! You ruined my dad's party, you pissed off one of the our oldest allies and now Matteo is in hospital! All because you think you're so smart and perfect, learn to keep your damn mouth shut." I stepped away from Adrian as he shouted at me, but he just took the opportunity to step towards me threateningly.

"Dante was right, I have gone soft on you." He pulled out the gun he used to accidentally shoot Matteo and he pointed it at me. "You deserve to pay for the mess you've caused."

"Adrian please stop..." My voice came out shaky as my eyes filled with tears from the absolute fear I felt at the sight of my husband pointing a gun at me. He chuckled darkly and stepped closer to me once again. "Why? Are you scared?" His tone was mocking as he pressed the tip of the gun against my chest.

"Good because I thrive off fear Jordan. This is who I am, you just reminded me of that. It makes me happy to know you're scared of me. But you're not scared enough."

Adrian clicked the safety off his gun showing me just how serious he was about all this. "So where shall I shoot you Jordan?" He cocked his head to this side as he thought about it. "Your arm? Then you can feel the pain that Matteo felt. Or your ankle? Wouldn't that be ironic, Matteo broke your ankle and now you're getting shot in the ankle because you're the reason he's in hospital."

My hands began to shake as I watched Adrian's eyes glaze over, the anger he felt taking complete control of him. "Please stop Adrian, I'm sorry." Adrian ignored me and rested the gun against my forehead. "Or shall I just kill you here and now? It'll be a shame for the cleaning staff tomorrow to find such a beautiful girl, dead."

I felt a small sob escape my lips as Adrian chuckled to himself. "You must have forgotten who I was Jordan. I may have done all this lovey dovey crap with you, but never forget who I am." He traced my lip with the gun and a sadistic smirk made its way onto his face.
"I think I'm going to go with the arm." My eyes widened slightly as Adrian stepped away from and pointed his gun at my arm, he pulled the trigger and I waited for the pain to erupt through my arm but instead I just felt a sharp sting.

I frowned and looked down at my arm to see a scratch where the bullet had grazed my arm. Adrian stepped towards me and tightly gripped my jaw with his hand. "If you ever step out of line again Jordan, I'll do it properly."

With that Adrian roughly let go of me, pushing me away from him and causing me to stumble slightly. He put his gun away and nonchalantly took out his phone like none of this had just happened. I guess this is where his experience as a mafia boss comes in handy, he can just get over things like this in seconds where as I will probably never forget the intense fear I just felt at the hands of my husband.

Tears steamed down my face as I struggled to get my breathing and heart rate under control, my hands were shaking like crazy as I stared at my husband. "Let's go, we need to go home first."

Adrian started walking out the hall but I stood there frozen watching him walk away. I couldn't bring myself to move, it felt like finally after all these months the reality of the situation I was in actually hit me. I'll never be safe and cared about by anyone, especially Adrian, my husband; because he's the one who is going to make my life a living hell, no matter what I do.

I felt like I had lost control of my body, the overwhelming feeling of fear and sadness took over, all I could hear was the blood pumping in my ears because of my erratic heartbeat, my vision slightly blurred. I slowly turned around my eyes scanning around the room for a possible way out from of this intense pressure I was feeling; not like a fire exit or a door though.

The shiny silver lying on the table nearest to me caught my eye and without thinking I picked up the knife off the table. I struggled to grip it properly in my clammy, shaking hands as I turned the blade towards my stomach. I took a deep breath, my eyes uncontrollably watering as I prepared myself. I closed my eyes and pulled back the knife, just as I went to finally end the misery I was in, the knife was knocked out of the hands, it fell a few feet away from me.

Adrian wrapped his arms tightly around me from behind preventing me from moving. I stood frozen in his arms, listening to Adrian's fast paced breathing behind me. Neither of us said a word for ages, we stood their in silence and Adrian's grip on me didn't loosen.

I slowly began to calm down becoming increasingly aware of what exactly just happened. I almost killed myself. The words were running through my head over and over again causing a sob to leave mouth, followed by another and another.

I felt my legs give way causing Adrian to tighten his grip on me even more. He gently lowered us down to the ground and we sat down together. Neither of us spoke whilst I stared at a random spot on the floor in complete shock from what had just happened.

~ Adrian's POV ~

When I saw Jordan pointing the knife at her stomach all the anger I had towards her just disappeared being replaced with this sharp, panicky feeling. I was going to shout to her to stop but I knew it wouldn't do any good so I just ran to her, as fast as I could. Thankfully I got there in time, I don't know what I would have done if she did it. It would have been one of the hardest things to see, I probably wouldn't have got over it either; knowing I was the reason that the most beautiful and kindest girl I'd ever met killed herself.

I always knew I was wrong for bringing her into my life, that I was like the devil compared to her. But I was selfish and I did it anyway. I guess never thought about how my anger would affect her.

I know the way I reacted tonight was wrong, but if it was anyone else I would have killed them on the spot if they did what she did. I'm trying, but clearly I wasn't succeeding. My anger would always get the best of me. It would cloud all of my feelings for her, it would make me forget who she was.

I held her in my arms feeling her body wrack with sobs, I closed my eyes trying to keep my own emotions contained. We sat together on the floor for what seemed like hours before she finally calmed down. I moved around her so that I could see her face, but she was just staring straight ahead, no emotion on her face.

"Jordan?" She didn't move at the sound of my voice, her eyes just remained focused on nothing. "Tesoro come on." I rubbed her back gently trying to ease her out of shock, eventually she started to loosen up and her eyes began to move around more. "Jordan."

The third time I spoke she jumped at the sound of my voice causing me to frown. "Baby it's okay." She turned towards me, her eyes were bloodshot and her skin was slightly pale and blotchy from all the crying she did. "A-Adrian.." I leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead. "Come on."

I slowly stood up not wanting to move to quickly around her. I gently wrapped my arms around her small frame and lifted her up into my arms bridal style. Her arms went around my neck and she rested her head on my shoulder.

"My purse.." I stopped walking at the sound of her voice which was quiet and weak. I went back over to the table we were sitting at and Jordan reached out to get her purse since I couldn't do it for her.
I walked out the hall with Jordan in my arms and we only had to wait for a few minutes for the valet to bring my car out.

After putting Jordan in the front seat I drove us home as quick as I could. After pulling up to the house I picked Jordan up once again and walked into the house, as soon as we got through the front door both Carlotta and Mia came out of the living room.

"What happened?" I shook my head signaling to them to stop speaking. I carried Jordan upstairs and lay her down on the bed, she seemed to be half asleep but I knew she was awake. I took off her heels for her and slowly unzipped her dress which meant she had to sit up a little, I slid it off her still body leaving her in her underwear. I helped her get into bed and sat next to her. "Do you need anything else? I still need to go to the hospital so I won't be here for a bit."

"Can you pass me my make up remover please?" I nodded and went over to the dressing area where all her make up was. It took me a good few minutes to finally figure out what the remover looked like. I gave it to her and quickly went into the bathroom to clean up Matteo's blood which ended up all over me. I changed into some sweats before going over to Jordan who was just about to go to sleep, I kissed her forehead, stroking her hair softly.

"I'm sorry baby, just get some sleep now." I mumbled against her forehead and pecked it one more time before leaving the room and turning the light off behind me.

I breathed out a sigh feeling guilt flood through me, I shouldn't have taken all my anger out on Jordan, I was the one who shot Matteo, it was my choice to ignore her, but when she told me to put my gun down it just pushed me even further. If anyone else had told me I would have listened, but the reason I was so angry in the first place was because Dante slapped Jordan and her being the one to stop me just reminded me about everything that happened causing my anger to return.

When I shouted at her I was just trying to get the guilt and anger out of my system and she was the one who ended up on the receiving end, I know I was wrong to do that, and it's yet another freaking thing I'll have to make up to her. But this time I will, there's no way I'm ever going to let her get to the point where she wants to kill herself again; she's such a strong person and I managed to push her all the way to the edge, something I'll make sure never happens again.

In everyone's life there's a moment when they have a life changing epiphany, realising exactly what's important to them and what their reality is.

That was that moment for me. I realised I could no longer focus solely on the mafia and have her on the side. I had to make her equally as important, no matter how hard that task was to complete.

I quickly grabbed some clothes for Matteo and for my mom who was still in her dress from the party before heading downstairs. I was about to leave when Carlotta stopped me. "Adrian, are you okay?" I clenched my teeth together keeping my eyes focused on the front door whilst nodding. She placed her hand on my shoulder gently pulling me so that I would turn around. From the look on her face I could tell she knew something was wrong.

"What happened Adrian? It's been over two hours since we left and you've just got back now.." The more she spoke, the more my resolve started to crumble, the guilt and anger eating away at me inside. I felt my eyes start to water and I rubbed them furiously.

"She tried to kill herself Carlotta." As soon as the words left my mouth her eyes widened in shock. "Wha-, why..?"

I started pacing around the hallway next to the front door, my thoughts going back to the way I shouted at her. "Because of me. I lost my temper at her, again, I shouted at her and I threatened her with my gun, I even freaking shot at her! The bullet just grazed her arm, but I still pushed her too far. She tried to stab herself Carlotta...because of me."

Her eyes filled with unshed tears as she watched me pace around, she stepped towards me and wrapped her arms around me. "It's okay Adrian." I buried my face in her hair, trying my best to stop the tears leaking out my eyes. My older sister rubbed my back soothingly, whilst whispering things to me to calm me down, she pulled away from me and gave me a stern look.

"You screwed up Adrian, but you can still make it up to her. Just show her you care about her...you clearly do because you haven't cried since you were a kid." I shook my head and chuckled a little whilst wiping my eyes. "I cried when Matteo hurt her, but that wasn't properly like now."

Carlotta chuckled to herself whilst opening the front door. "You've got it bad baby bro. Come on, I'll come to the hospital with you to see my other idiot of a baby brother."

This chapter is so intense 😰 Let me know if you liked it and don't forget to vote ❤️