"Oh god" I hear Sue and Mr. Lahote speak when they see my case of poison oak, Hared and Paul set me on the counter.

"I" Mr. Lahote says "how did you get this?"

"I had sex" I cry into Paul's shoulder

"Your partner" Sue asks "had poison oak on his" she waves to down below.

"No" shaking my head "the universe is blaming me for having fun so I peed over poison oak not knowing" I start to cry "and I'm pregnant" I then see Mr. Lahote "Sorry Mr. Lahote we aren't meeting under better circumstances"

"It's fine my dear" he speaks

"Oh my god" we hear Embry, Paul and Jared cover his eyes.

"Okay" Mr. Lahote speaks "Sue can you"
I sigh when I feel something cold against my skin "I'll be right back" he leaves then.

"Congratulations" Sue tells me "on the baby"

"Thanks" I respond "I just can't believe it, I've been safe" crying "how could this happen?" I then get a phone call, I see it's Isla "hi Isla"

"Dot?" She asks "where are you?"

"At my friends house" answering "why?"

"Did you see a Dr. Narwitsky?" She asks

"Yes" answer "why?"

"There's something you need to know" she says "Dr. Narwitsky artificially inseminated you by mistake"

"What?" I ask "why?"

"She was having an off day so she mixed you up with a different patient" she tells me "luckily it was donor sperm"

"I have poison oak on my vagina" I cry

"What?" She asks "how?"

"I needed to pee" I see Mr. Lahote come in with something "what's that?" I hang up the phone rudely.

"My sister use to get poison ivy all the time" he tells me "we used this cream, should help by morning. Just keep your legs spread the entire night" he had this whitish green stuff with him "may I?"

"Maybe Paul can apply it or Jared" I ask, Paul come over and he applied the stuff on me. It feels so good. "This feels amazing"

Mr. Lahote laughs "yes, my sister felt the same way" looking at Sue "Sue? Can I talk to you?" The two soon leave and talk.

"That" we hear Embry, his eyes being covered by Jared "is the worst case of poison oak I've ever seen"

"Why are you covering his eyes?" I ask "don't you have wolf telepathy?"

"Yeah" Embry exclaims "we've all seen Sam and Emily do it"

"And he beats us up because of that" Jared explains "besides it's better if Jacob doesn't know about this"

"It's stupid" Embry complains "Jacob is treating you unfairly, I mean so what if your part cold one. You don't have venom nor do you kill or harm people"

"Bella does that" Jared agrees "besides, we've seen him with Bella" all the guys shiver in disgust.

"What kind of magic pussy does Bella have?" Paul ask me "I mean, really?"

"Why ask me?" I ask "I'm sure she has some sort of STD, do human shifters get sexual diseases?" We look at Paul.

"How should I know?" He asks "I'm safe, Jacob and Bella aren't"

"Do they not know the meaning of protection?" I demand "someone get me a banana and a condom, or better yet" looking around, I see my bag and use my powers to get my phone. When it's in my hand I call my mom.

"Hey baby" mom answers "how's collage?"

"It'd be better if I didn't have to worry about Bella" I respond

"What did she do now?" Mom sighs

"She's having unprotected sex" I tell him "I have several sources that tell me that Bella never used condoms"

"What?" She demands "I told her-I'm calling your father" she hangs up the phone.

"Being a snitch?" Paul jokes

"Bella has been pregnant for three times now in the past two years" I say "either she gets her tubes tied or something to keep her from ruining peoples lives"