Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed. --Proverbs 16:3 (AMPC)

Boluwatife couldn't believe his eyes. He picked his brown-coloured face towel and scrubbed at his eyes with them. He opened his eyes again and stared at his phone, hoping to see something different but it was not to be. 

The cackling coming from his phone speaker made him grind his teeth in annoyance. 

"Are you still there?" The voice called out amidst laughter. 

He could hear him alright but he just was too annoyed to speak. 

Koye will hear from me. 

"I'm sure you are so angry at the moment. I just wanted to tell you that you are now a global celebrity. Why? Because you are the current hot cake. Bolu Hotcakes!" The annoying voice which belonged to Vwaire, an old classmate, teased. 

This his teasing must be payback for all I did to him in school. But this is pettiness na. And Koye is the most prettiest of all. 

He really didn't care about his correct usage of English words at the moment, even though it was in his thoughts. 

"It is okay na. One would think you are getting money off this."

"I don't need money when I have this. This just made my day. I will call you later. I need to speak with Koye ASAP and thank him for this gift he bestowed on me."

"Common, get off my phone jàre. It's not even that funny."

All he got for a response was more laughter and the dial tone as Vwaire hung up. 

Bolu knew deep down in him that everybody who was a mutual acquaintance of himself and Koye would have already seen it. And it seemed that he was a glutton for punishment because he opened his Whatsapp and scrolled through his contacts' statuses just to confirm his suspicions. Not only had they seen it, they had also reposted it. 

No wonder that fool called me hot cake. 

Don't call anyone a fool. 

B-b-bu—

Don't but Me. 

Okay, sir. 

Bolu sighed again as he continued scrolling through the statuses. 

"These ones will start sending me messages now." 

No sooner had he said it, the messages began to pour in. 

Damsky: Guy! How far na? You be brand ambassador now? 

Tolu B.: You're looking good on this o. 

Koye: 😉😉😈😈

And many more messages he didn't bother to open. 

Koye had done as he had promised but he didn't know how to retaliate. One thing was sure though, he knew he won't live it down till the end of the holidays. 

Bolu facepalmed and just laid on his bed. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind and he bolted into a sitting position. 

There's no way she would see it. Right?! 

With wide eyes, he sighed. What if she sees it?

Why am I even worried? He laid back on the bed, only to bolt upright again. There's no possible way she is acquainted with anyone I know. 

He looked up. Right?! 

*********

Amanda had just finished eating her lunch in the break room. She stepped into the office area where a few were either taking a nap or tapping away at their phones. 

Laughter filtered to her ears and she turned in that direction only to see Chika and a group of other coworkers staring at something. She knew it was either a funny video or a meme as Chika was the self-acclaimed office jester. 

"But the guy fine sha ó," one of the ladies spoke out. Everyone could hear the smitten tone in her voice. 

Amanda just shook her head and continued on her way to her desk. 

After a few minutes, Chika called out to her. "Manda, Manda!" in an annoying baby voice. 

This girl sha. 

"I thought I told you not to call me that anymore," she frowned as she spoke. 

Chika flashed her a bright smile. It was like she knew nobody could resist her smiles. 

Amanda waved her off. "It isn't working on me."

"Of course, it is."

"Shioor. What do you want?" 

Like she just remembered why she came, Chika pushed her phone at her. "See what I saw on the internet today."

Amanda just stared at her. "You came here to show me a meme?" 

"It isn't a meme." She pouted. 

Amanda waved her off again. "Send it to me via Whatsapp. The lunch break is over."

Chika stared at her wide-eyed. "It's not like we are in school anymore. Who rang the bell signifying the end of lunch?" 

Amanda looked at her from over her new pair of chocolate brown frames. The girl really looked stupefied. "Nobody did. I just need to get work done. And if you want me to see whatever it is, you will send it to me. C'est finis."

Chika looked like she was weighing her options when her phone rang. Her face lit up like the sun at midday and she absentmindedly told Amanda she would send it to her later before walking away with her phone to her ears. 

Hello, babe was all Amanda needed to hear to know who had called her. She shook her head in amusement and faced her work. 

********

The next morning was a Saturday and after Amanda was done with her devotion, she decided to catch up with messages she had missed during the week. She stumbled on Chika's message and was dumbfounded at what she saw. 

It was an e-flyer with the main caption Boyfriend for the Holidays. It said, 'Are your parents expecting you to travel home with a groom for the holidays? Do you need a Christian man, who can pray at the dinner table, hold your hands and gaze into your eyes like you are the best thing since Nkwobi and/or asun? We are here for you. BOFTH is here to cater to your needs. Call or Whatsapp 080********** and make your order now." 

She knew ads like that had flown around in past years but she wasn't expecting the object of her recent contemplations to be the poster boy for the ad. 

With wide eyes, she stared at the e-flyer for a little while before she erupted in laughter. 

Interesting. 

Amanda continued to suddenly burst into laughter whenever she remembered the ad throughout the day as she did her chores and made preparations for the following day at church. 

This is all very weird. 

**********

Amanda stood in front of the show glass displaying a variety of food as she decided what she wanted to have for lunch that Sunday. It was one of those Sundays where the hunger pangs began just as the sermon commenced that morning. She was always baffled when such happened because she had eaten twice her normal portion for the dinner the previous night. She had relied on her spirit man to listen to sermon because the hunger she felt was enough to make her lose concentration in service. Immediately service ended, she had found her way to the food booth located in the church car park to devour two steaming hot pieces of doughnut and a chilled can of Malta Guinness. But it was not enough to satiate her hunger and the mere thought of waiting till she got home to prepare food had sent her stomach into relentless growls and thunder claps, so she decided to go to one of her favourite restaurants in town. 

After much deliberation with her nose, brain, stomach and salivary glands, she decided on the beef-baptized coconut rice that was beckoning to her and a thick piece of drumstick. 

As she waited for the attendant to ring up her purchase, her mind went back to the message she heard at church. 

Not everything that is good is God. 

Very mind-boggling. God is good but not all good is God. Wow! 

After paying, she was still pondering on that while searching for somewhere to sit. She had just found the perfect spot in a corner and was walking towards the place when she collided with someone, her tray of food the bridge connecting the two of them. Without thought to herself and balance, Amanda held on to her tray like her life depended on it while the person steadied her by her upper arm. 

Eiiii, my food! But what is this deja vu moment?

"I hope this doesn't become a thing," the person's voice rumbled. 

She could feel the reverberation of the voice through the tray. 

I know this voice. 

She looked up only to look into the smiling face of her Mall Crush.