Three days later, and I still had trouble grappling with what had happened. 

   It wasn't as if there wasn't enough evidence. Twenty-one dead Enforcers. One dead Council member. Nearly seventy dead Dark Star members. And one captured dark seer and one dead dark mage.

   Caze was among the deaths. Daniella was found unconscious once the bodies started to get cleaned up. Erlan was half-dead, a knife buried in his spine. Zain had run herself to pure exhaustion. She was hospitalized for the time being. Gene was under watch because the link to Kingsley hadn't been broken yet. 

   It was pretty obvious that I shouldn't have been alive, either. The poor witch that was given the task of healing my wounds fainted from exhaustion before she could finish. The nearby Enforcer had given me a bewildered look. I'd shrugged it off.

   The general attitude about the fight wasn't good. The Enforcers that had survived the attack didn't really like me. I didn't blame them. Most of their friends were dead, and a lot of the blame could be attributed to me. I'd been irrational and ignored the fact that the Council had a plan. Granted, we had no way of knowing if their plan would've worked any better, but it didn't matter. I felt the scrutiny anyway. Even Zain hadn't talked to me yet. She seemed more upset than most.

   The Council hadn't spoken to me yet, but I knew that it wouldn't be long. They'd be wanting to make demands and yell about the whole ordeal. I'd be the scapegoat for the numerous deaths.

   I left Anchorage within two days of the fight. Honestly, there was no reason for me to stick around. I couldn't heal the wounded. I couldn't help rebuild. My magic's reserve was still empty, even after two days of rest. And no one wanted me there. I bought a bus ticket and departed before anyone could say anything.

   The seat beside me was empty as the bus rumbled down the road. Tate hadn't come with me. He'd stayed behind with the Enforcers to help recover from the attack. I'd told him that I needed to leave. He seemed to understand that it was best if I disappeared for a while and allowed the community to sort itself out. 

   The bus took me to a Canadian bus stop where I boarded another trip for the border. With a dark hoodie and my hair braided into the back, it was practically impossible to recognize me. The addition of sunglasses and a cap made it actually impossible. Traveling back into the States wasn't hard at all.

   My thoughts whirled all throughout the week-long trip. The sight of no ink on my arm still startled me every time. Dani was dead. She was gone. I was no longer tied to anyone. My magic was purely my own. Every time I thought about it, I couldn't really wrap my head around it. From the minute I'd discovered magic, it had been under threat. Now that it wasn't, now that my power was safe, I didn't really know what to do with myself.

   I'd spent the past days consumed with hatred and revenge. I'd gotten what I wanted, but I didn't feel like I could go back to the way I had been. Roxie the waitress, with a fiery temper and only a pair of fists to back it up. That version of me died when Dani made the link. But I wasn't Roxie the apprentice, either. The girl Alexie knew vanished when he did.

   I arrived in Carson City in ten days. I didn't look far from a hobo, with my dirty clothes and unkempt appearance. Uncaring, I moved through Simone's front yard and knocked on the door. My heart thudded in my chest rapidly. A few minutes later and a dog barked as the chain rattled. The door cracked open. A weary eye peered through.

   Simone gasped and tried to open the door. The chain banged against the doorframe. Swearing, she slammed the door shut, unlatched the chain, and wrenched it back open.

   Her body slammed into mine. I staggered backwards, but I wrapped my arms around her tightly. Simone shouted into my ear, "You bitch! Disappearing on me like that -- you absolute asshole! And then you have the audacity to just leave? For God's sake, Roxie, people are worried about you--"

   I exhaled and shook my head. "Sorry. I just . . . I needed space to breathe." So apparently someone had updated her about Anchorage. Tate, probably.

   Simone pulled back and her fist swung for my cheek. I didn't even bother trying to dodge it. It crashed into my jaw. Small stings radiated from the hit. Simone gaped. "You didn't even budge."

   I gave her a tired look. "I've been hit way harder in the past month, Simone."

   "Yeah, yeah. Shut up and come inside. You smell."

~

   Freshly showered and wearing some of Simone's clothes, I held the cup between my hands. It was hot chocolate. By the smell, Simone had added some peppermint into it. A faint smile curled my dry lips. Just how we used to make it during sleepovers in junior high.

   Simone set her mug down, a faint chocolate mustache on her lips. "Are you okay, Roxie?" Her tone was gentler than I'd ever heard it.

   My fingers rubbed the rim of the mug. "I think so. It's just . . . I feel out of place, you know? I got what I wanted. Dani's dead." I shook my head. "Dad warned me that her death wouldn't satisfy me, and he was right."

   "Then what will?" Simone took a sip. Her legs tucked under her body neatly. She always looked so composed. Even thought she'd been stabbed just a few weeks ago. 

   "I don't think anything will." I sighed. "I didn't really care when I was chasing her down. But . . what am I supposed to do now? I'm not human. I'm a magick, but I just helped nearly thirty Enforcers get killed. People aren't going to want me around them, either. So I'm not human but magicks aren't going to want me involved."

   Simone snorted. "Since when have you cared about fitting in?"

   "I guess you're right." I sat the mug back down, shaking my head again. "I haven't cared. This just feels different. Weird, almost."

   "Well, Alexie was an outcast, wasn't he?"

   Something in my heart seemed to lift. I looked up at her, surprised, but she was serious. My eyebrows pulled together. She's right. Alexie didn't really fit anywhere, either. He seriously didn't care. He actually preferred it that way. 

   But I'm not Alexie.

   "Yeah, he was." I cleared my throat. "What about you? I mean, you literally had your reality get broken and then you were stabbed."

   "Oh, you know." She blew out her cheeks. "I'm dealing with it. Has anyone told you what I had to go through when you guys left? I was with that Enforcer -- who is totally hot, by the way--" I snorted. "--And we got tracked down by two of those crazy people. The Enforcer guy managed o take care of them, but that necklace came in handy. Actually knocked out one of the bad guys when he ran into the shield you put in it." 

   A breath left my lips. "Good. It was supposed to have two charges in it. Did you use both shields?"

   Her eyebrows pulled together. "Two? It only had one. And then while we were running -- for like the third time, I'll add -- it fell apart. Like a red symbol appeared in the air around it. Then it crumbled, like a crushed ember. You know? Like it . . . disintegrated."

   "Disintegrated?" I frowned. "I've never heard of that happening--" My voice cut off as I realized I had seen that happen before. I'd seen a spell turn into a rune and fall apart. 

   Alexie's block on Dani's link. When he disappeared that night, a white rune had lifted from my arm and dissolved.

   I thought that spells with that capacity could only be broken if the caster died . . . But my spell had fallen apart . . . when?

   "When was that? Like what day?"

   "Uh," Simone thought about it. "Let's see. Maybe . . . Sunday? Like the Sunday before you guys had that big fight."

   Sunday. What had happened Sunday? My mind raced. It was before we had began mobilizing for Anchorage. I'd been at Simone's house the previous Wednesday. Four days later, and my spell had broken. What had happened?

   Four days after the fight at Simone's, and I'd escaped the gap. I'd escaped at the same time the spell on Simone's necklace fell apart. My heart fell into my feet. It was as if I'd been slapped.

   "The magic-blocking spell," I whispered hoarsely. "The magic-blocking spell broke the shield."

   She watched me, puzzled. "The what-now?"

   "There's a spell," I started, mind racing. "That puts a block between a magick and their source of power. On Sunday, I escaped Dani's trap by using it on myself. I shut down all of my magic. It caused the protection on your necklace to fall apart."

   "But why do I feel like you just realized something else?"

   I licked my lips, my hands starting to shake slightly. I gripped the mug. "Because the only other time I've seen a spell fall apart like you've described is when Alexie disappeared. After he took the exact same trapping spell I did. His spell didn't dissolve because he had died." I looked up, aghast. "It fell apart because he blocked his own magic."

    Simone stared at me. I sat there, too shocked to really move. Could it even be possible?

   "Are you saying he could be alive?"

   I looked back at her, my lips parted and eyes wide. My brain struggled to comprehend the possibility. "I think he could be."

   "How can we find out? There's got to be a way, right?"

   An idea crept into mind. I swear to all that is holy, if this man is still alive... I nodded slowly. "There is, if you feel like taking a road trip."

   Simone smirked in response.