Mark POV

She was gone. It was official. She was gone.

It hit me hard that she had left me just like that. Was it my fault? I would question on a daily basis and still did. All we did that day was yoga and a little bit of light walking and jogging. Was it me that triggered it?

Shaking off the thought, I walked into Maya's room. Today, I was going to be going through her things. Our family had decided to leave her room as it was, but they allowed me to look through her things.

It took some time, but after doing the simple things, for example, looking at her bed and seeing if there was anything there, through her closet and clothes, I finally managed to get myself to look through her cabinets, desk and drawers. I sat at her desk and looked at what I wanted to see.

A simple picture sat at the edge of the desk. Picking it up, I smiled, looking at her ten-year-old smile. As I put the picture back, something fell from behind it. Picking it up, I found a letter.

Dear Mark,

I just found out why I was sick for so long. All the coughing and pain. You haven't come home yet, it's only three and you're still at your martial arts class, but I wish you were here. Since you won't be home for a while, I'll write this letter.

I don't know how to break the news to you. It's painful and I don't even know how I broke it to mom and dad. All I remember was being outside and having fun when suddenly I started to feel dizzy. My friends were around and noticed, but we kept fooling around. Suddenly, I felt a pain in my throat. It felt like I would throw up. Quickly, I stepped aside when it really got bad. That's when I saw it. Blood. It was scary, Mark, and I wish it were you who had helped me, I would've felt safer. But anyway, before I knew it, I was on the ground and then the hospital. Mom and dad had been called and they got there when I was awake and the news had been broken to me. It's tuberculosis, Mark. Can you believe it? Of all things, I've gotten tuberculosis.

Can you come home and comfort me now? Maybe not. You're such a studious boy, and so hard working. I can't imagine how worried you'll be when you find out. Boy, that'll break my heart.

I've decided that I'm not giving you this letter as I write. Maybe you'll find it someday, but for now, it'll stay hidden in my room. Because you won't see this, I'm going to pour my little 12-year-old heart into this.

Mark, you're such an amazing brother and I really don't know what I could do without you. We've gotten distant since I was 5 but you're still good to me nonetheless. I wish we were closer, but I guess I wasn't good enough to change that. You have your friends and I understand that, I have mine too. But why can't we be friends? We're siblings, but I wish we were so much closer. Maybe after the news is broken to you, we'll be closer? But I wish that it wouldn't be an illness that brought us together. I wish it was just us being siblings. But I can't have everything, and that's okay. I'm okay with just having you, you're enough for me.

Mark? I don't know if this weird. But I love you. Very much. You're the best brother anyone could ever ask for. Why am I blessed to have you? You deserve a better sister. One that isn't sick and dying. I'm sorry bro. I gotta be that person. I'm sick and dying and I'm sorry I couldn't stay healthier.

If I've died and you've found this, can you please do me a favour? Don't cry over my dead body. Don't hurt too much because of me, Mark. You meant the world to me and I guess I might have to you too, but please don't you dare mourn. I'm gone and you can't do anything about it, instead, celebrate, please. Celebrate my life. Celebrate us. Celebrate.

I'm sorry you just went through that message. I'm just a young, dumb and broke 12-year-old girl.

I love you dearly,
Maya

PS. I think my photo on the wall is cool, check it out the day after you read this.

I felt tears sting my eyes as I put the letter away. She was right though. I can't do much about her death, but I can celebrate. And celebrate I will. If that's what she wants.

~*~

It had been days and I was yet to finish going through Maya's things. Why did she have so much stuff? Sighing, I continued through what was in her room. She had actually left a lot of things for me in here. It felt like she was writing a message to me every day and had systematically hidden each one somewhere for me to find. It was cute, at least, that's what I thought. Over time, she had asked in the message if it were obvious enough that she was hiding these messages. Now, she was just telling me to look for them without hiding the fact that this was a scavenger hunt for me.

Today, she was leading me to her drawers. It took a bit of a find, but I found what she had asked me to look for. Her diary, which had a note attached to it.

Hey Mark. It's already New Year's. Here's my 2015 diary. Read it if you'd like to. I love you very much! ~Maya. (Next note is in my pencil jar)

I intently spent my day reading the diary. It was full of interesting things. She spoke of her hardships, of the things she was happy of, and all sorts of things. I was surprised to find that I felt like one of the main character in her stories. She spoke well of me, and a lot too. I found that she often felt distant. It seemed to be something that she often hated herself for, feeling as though it were her fault. If only I could tell her it was never her fault...

Looking up at the time, I realized it was already well past midnight. Looks like I had been way too intrigued into her diary to stop reading and realize the time. I was at the very last entry so I figured I could read it before going to bed.

December 31, 2015 / January 1st, 2016

I'm writing this on the night of New Years. This year has been okay I guess. Except for the summer. It's been almost half a year since I got diagnosed and to be honest, it isn't fun. There literally is nothing to do for me. All I have is the internet but that isn't fun after some time. I've really gotten bored of it because I can't do anything other than be on it. I can talk with people, but they no longer stick around with me, but it's okay. I have Mark... I guess. He's still a little distant, but it's okay. Maybe he just doesn't wanna stick around because he's afraid of getting close only to let go? I understand. It's why I no longer make friends with people.

Speaking of him, I wonder how he took the news. I never really addressed this, but I really wonder how he took the news of me and TB. I've been writing letters or little things every week now. It's given me something to do. I think I'll continue this until the day I die. Actually, I just had an idea for this week's message. He can just have my diary. Good luck to him when he reads this mess.

Anyways, I've been thinking. These past few months, I've been living way too down in the dumps. I need to lighten up. It's hard, but I can try. TB is just an illness, and I'm only at stage one right now. I can get better, and I know I can. Maybe.

I really hope that 2016 will be good for me. Maybe I'll get better. I hope I will be. I'm really hopeful. I wonder if it'll really work out for me.

Mark, you're reading this right? I hope you actually did find these messages and notes. I'm sorry for this mess you just read. But thanks for being the best big brother I could ever ask for. Hope with me, yeah? I hope that we did get closer in 2016. I'm sure you'll have seen this after 2016 has passed. Don't let this 13-year-old's heart down. Who am I kidding? You've never let me down. You never will. I love you, Mark.

Back to the regular stuff.

I think that life is really full of ups and downs. I think I'm not ready for it, I'm only 13 after all, but I will try to make myself ready. TB was just the first strike, and maybe the hardest of them all. I hope it is, I hope it gets better from here.

I hope I don't sound like a philosopher or something, but I really think that I needed this. Getting diagnosed has only made me realize how much I'm blessed to have a life in general. Though I haven't quite gotten better, I'm blessed to even have the great hospitals around, and all the opportunities I have.

I had everything. I really did. A great family, friends, education, a life, everything I ever needed and wanted. But it was all stripped away from me this year. It really made me learn to be grateful, and all that. Sure, I wish I still had that, but I would never trade this for the perfect life because I know that nothing is perfect. I also know that if nothing happened, then I will never have learned these things.

I'm ready for 2016. I'm really ready to let go of 2015 and grow this year. TB won't be stopping me. Nothing will. Whatever life has to throw at me today, I'll be ready.

Signing off for 2015 ~ Maya Walter

"Whatever life has to throw at me today," I repeated as I closed the book. "I'll be ready."

THE END

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Word Count: 1750+

How'd you like this story? It was really short, sorry about that, but I had fun writing it. I hope you guys enjoyed. Any questions? Ask below.

Something random, do you guys know Mark from GOT7? I kinda have been super into them lately and he happens to be my bias! I based Mark here a little off of him, just a little.... just a tiny tiny bit. ;)

Signing off!

~KEKamalP